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12 Things You Do Which Make People Think You’re Selfish But You’re Actually Not

12 Things You Do Which Make People Think You’re Selfish But You’re Actually Not

Do you worry that you could seem selfish? Many people worry about how they come across to other people, but often people confuse being selfish with loving yourself and having self-respect. People who love themselves are often much happier, so it can be beneficial to embrace these so-called ‘selfish’ traits.

Here are 12 things that people may find selfish, but are actually not.

1. You Aren’t Selfish For Being Motivated

Do not feel ashamed or worried about being motivated. Whether you do overtime every week or run every morning, be proud of yourself for caring and pushing yourself. People may perceive this as selfish, but this may be for their own selfish reasons, like needing you to be around more often to help them with their needs.

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2. You Aren’t Selfish For Not Apologising If You’re Not Sorry

It is important to stand up for your beliefs and opinions – these shape who you are as a person, and you should be proud of them. Listen to other’s opinions with an open mind and share your own in the knowledge that you are not being selfish.

3. You Aren’t Selfish For Ending A Toxic Relationship

Being aware you are in an unhealthy relationship and taking action requires self-respect. Be proud to surround yourself with people who celebrate who you are and bring no toxic elements into your life.

4. You Aren’t Selfish For Having Different Life Priorities Than Others

If something is important to you, then it is important. If someone make you feel guilty for wanting to travel or work, they are being selfish themselves. Take care of your own priorities, and the people who truly care about you will understand and respect that.

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5. You Aren’t Selfish For Enjoying Time Alone

Taking ‘me’ time and looking after your own needs is a very important part of your general happiness. Anyone who begrudges your time alone may themselves struggle to be alone, so realize this is their problem and not a fault of your own.

6. You Aren’t Selfish Because You Like To Treat Yourself

As well as treating your friends and loved ones, it is essential to treat yourself, as you should love yourself just as much as you love the important people in your life. While it is selfish to only treat yourself, realize your happiness is your priority – so make yourself happy!

7. You Aren’t Selfish For Saying No

Saying no and having limitations is a sign of your self-respect. You don’t have to agree to do something if you don’t want to; most successful people have become so successful due to their ability to say no. Be polite and gracious about saying no, and realize it isn’t selfish to focus on your own goals – you simply know your priorities.

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8. You Aren’t Selfish For Making Different Decisions Than Others

If you want to live outside of other people’s conventions, that is fine. If you don’t want to get married, or have children, or even have a normal job – that is your choice and no-one else’s. Making that choice for someone else is selfish, but choosing it for yourself simply means you know what you want from life.

9. You Aren’t Selfish Because You’re Not Perfect

No-one is perfect, and worrying about being perfect can be emotionally damaging. Embrace your flaws and work on any that you would like to change – this shows progression and self-awareness, rather than selfishness.

10. You Aren’t Selfish For Following Your Dreams

If you need to move to the other side of the world to follow your dreams, that is fine. If you need to quit your job and go back to college, that is fine too. Don’t let yourself live a life of regret because you were worried about being selfish.

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11. You Aren’t Selfish For Standing Your Ground

Sticking up for your opinions shows you care about what you believe in. Whether it is your morals, ethics, political or religious beliefs, they are yours and you have a right to think them. If you are open to other people’s ideas and accept there are different ways of thinking, you are safe in the knowledge that you are not selfish.

12. You Aren’t Selfish For Not Replying To People Immediately

While it can be selfish to purposefully ignore people who are counting on you, it is not selfish to prioritize. If you have received a text and you are halfway through cooking, it is totally acceptable to finish up what you are doing before you reply. You will get back to them – you don’t need to put everything on hold to reply to someone.

Can you think of any other traits people often believe are selfish? Comment your ideas below!

Featured photo credit: Natalie Shuttleworth via flickr.com

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

More About Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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