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12 Obvious Signs That You’re In The Right Relationship

12 Obvious Signs That You’re In The Right Relationship

In today’s society, its hard to tell whether or not you and your significant are in the right relationship. With 6 billion people walking the face of this earth, its not too uncommon to wonder if he/she is the one for you. Lets take a look at some of the signs to tell if they are the right one for you!

1. You Have a Mutual Understanding

If you, and your partner are both on the same page in your relationship, this is a good sign that they are the right one for you.

What I mean by this is that if you and your partner both have the same goals in the relationship (i.e. marriage, kids, living together, etc.) and there is no confusion about it, you are in a really good place! There is nothing worse than going into a relationship thinking that things are serious between you two, but your partner doesn’t feel the same way just yet.

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2. You Don’t Play Games

If you and your partner naturally avoid playing games with each other (and no, I am not talking about monopoly), then you are probably in the right relationship. If your partner makes a habit out of trying to make you jealous, or to lead you on for nothing, they are probably not the one for you. That just means that their heart isn’t in the relationship, and that they are probably just looking for a way out, without having to be the one to end it.

3. You Communicate

I can not stress this one enough! If there is a lack of constant honest, clear communication then you are probably not in the right relationship. You cannot start a relationship off of lies, and secrets, especially if they are secrets that you are worried about your partner learning about. If they don’t like what they have to hear in the beginning, then at least you know beforehand. If you are honest in the beginning, it can instill a sense of trustworthiness between the two of you, and that can create a stronger bond between you two.

4. You Don’t Expect Perfection

If you expect your partner to be god-sent, you are probably not in the right relationship.  You have to remember that they are a human being and humans are hard wired to mess up every now, and again. If you learn to love, and cherish the flaws that make your partner who they are, then you can be rest assured that you are in the right relationship. Just remember this, “Pobodys Nerfect”.

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5. You Give Each Other Space

If you and your partner understand the value of personal time away from each other, then you are probably in the right relationship. As much as you thought you guys would just love to spend every waking moment with each other when you were first together, you know that it’s probably not true now, if you are more long term. Give yourself and your partner time to miss each other.

6. You Work Things Out

If you are like any normal couple, you have probably gotten into a fight or two by now. If you guys have been able to work them out pretty easily, you are probably in the right relationship. It’s important not to hold grudges over these fights, because chances are they aren’t that big of a deal. If you or your partner are the ones to always threaten to leave, and storm out during a fight, it’s probably not the right relationship for you.

7. You Support Each Other’s Goals

If your partner allows you to follow your goals, and dreams, and supports you no matter what, you are in the perfect relationship.  You have to understand, that it’s not about always making them happy, especially if you have to sacrifice your happiness.  You should be able to achieve your goals, without it affecting your relationship.

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8. You Don’t Let Others Affect You Negatively

If you and your partner can function normally in your relationship without letting other people’s opinions affecting either of you, then you’re probably in the right relationship. With people oversharing their lives and opinions on social media, having a common positive outlook on your relationship, without allowing anyone else’s two-cents to be come an issue, is a really good sign that you were meant to be.

9. You Respect Each Others Feelings

As you would hope your partner would respect your feelings, you should also do the same, and if you both do this, you are probably in the right relationship. I’m not saying you always have to agree, but there has to be a mutual respect on how you both feel, even if you don’t agree.

10. You Compromise

If you and your partner can compromise on disagreements, then you are probably in the right relationship. If every time there is a disagreement about anything, and you end up arguing over who is right, and who is wrong, then it might be something you should work on or a telltale sign that you might not be a match.

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11. You Get Along With Each Other’s Families

If you and your partner’s families can accept one another, that is almost a sure sign you are in the right relationship. If your parents have a bad feeling about your partner, it’s usually not because they want you to be unhappy, it’s for a good reason, and you should probably listen to them.

12. You Don’t Let The Spark Die Out

Every new relationship has this magical, special feeling when you first start out. If you and your partner still make it a habit to try and surprise each other, and make each other feel special, then you are most certainly in the right relationship. You are going to go through a lot in the course of your relationship together, and you should make sure you guys remind one another as much as possible how much you love and cherish each other!

Featured photo credit: lifehack.org via lifehack.org

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Michael Daws

Aircraft Painter, Sports & Lifestyle Blogger

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Published on May 18, 2021

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

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Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

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Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

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Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

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This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

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Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

More Tips Improving Listening Skills

Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

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