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12 Obvious Signs That You’re In The Right Relationship

12 Obvious Signs That You’re In The Right Relationship

In today’s society, its hard to tell whether or not you and your significant are in the right relationship. With 6 billion people walking the face of this earth, its not too uncommon to wonder if he/she is the one for you. Lets take a look at some of the signs to tell if they are the right one for you!

1. You Have a Mutual Understanding

If you, and your partner are both on the same page in your relationship, this is a good sign that they are the right one for you.

What I mean by this is that if you and your partner both have the same goals in the relationship (i.e. marriage, kids, living together, etc.) and there is no confusion about it, you are in a really good place! There is nothing worse than going into a relationship thinking that things are serious between you two, but your partner doesn’t feel the same way just yet.

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2. You Don’t Play Games

If you and your partner naturally avoid playing games with each other (and no, I am not talking about monopoly), then you are probably in the right relationship. If your partner makes a habit out of trying to make you jealous, or to lead you on for nothing, they are probably not the one for you. That just means that their heart isn’t in the relationship, and that they are probably just looking for a way out, without having to be the one to end it.

3. You Communicate

I can not stress this one enough! If there is a lack of constant honest, clear communication then you are probably not in the right relationship. You cannot start a relationship off of lies, and secrets, especially if they are secrets that you are worried about your partner learning about. If they don’t like what they have to hear in the beginning, then at least you know beforehand. If you are honest in the beginning, it can instill a sense of trustworthiness between the two of you, and that can create a stronger bond between you two.

4. You Don’t Expect Perfection

If you expect your partner to be god-sent, you are probably not in the right relationship.  You have to remember that they are a human being and humans are hard wired to mess up every now, and again. If you learn to love, and cherish the flaws that make your partner who they are, then you can be rest assured that you are in the right relationship. Just remember this, “Pobodys Nerfect”.

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5. You Give Each Other Space

If you and your partner understand the value of personal time away from each other, then you are probably in the right relationship. As much as you thought you guys would just love to spend every waking moment with each other when you were first together, you know that it’s probably not true now, if you are more long term. Give yourself and your partner time to miss each other.

6. You Work Things Out

If you are like any normal couple, you have probably gotten into a fight or two by now. If you guys have been able to work them out pretty easily, you are probably in the right relationship. It’s important not to hold grudges over these fights, because chances are they aren’t that big of a deal. If you or your partner are the ones to always threaten to leave, and storm out during a fight, it’s probably not the right relationship for you.

7. You Support Each Other’s Goals

If your partner allows you to follow your goals, and dreams, and supports you no matter what, you are in the perfect relationship.  You have to understand, that it’s not about always making them happy, especially if you have to sacrifice your happiness.  You should be able to achieve your goals, without it affecting your relationship.

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8. You Don’t Let Others Affect You Negatively

If you and your partner can function normally in your relationship without letting other people’s opinions affecting either of you, then you’re probably in the right relationship. With people oversharing their lives and opinions on social media, having a common positive outlook on your relationship, without allowing anyone else’s two-cents to be come an issue, is a really good sign that you were meant to be.

9. You Respect Each Others Feelings

As you would hope your partner would respect your feelings, you should also do the same, and if you both do this, you are probably in the right relationship. I’m not saying you always have to agree, but there has to be a mutual respect on how you both feel, even if you don’t agree.

10. You Compromise

If you and your partner can compromise on disagreements, then you are probably in the right relationship. If every time there is a disagreement about anything, and you end up arguing over who is right, and who is wrong, then it might be something you should work on or a telltale sign that you might not be a match.

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11. You Get Along With Each Other’s Families

If you and your partner’s families can accept one another, that is almost a sure sign you are in the right relationship. If your parents have a bad feeling about your partner, it’s usually not because they want you to be unhappy, it’s for a good reason, and you should probably listen to them.

12. You Don’t Let The Spark Die Out

Every new relationship has this magical, special feeling when you first start out. If you and your partner still make it a habit to try and surprise each other, and make each other feel special, then you are most certainly in the right relationship. You are going to go through a lot in the course of your relationship together, and you should make sure you guys remind one another as much as possible how much you love and cherish each other!

Featured photo credit: lifehack.org via lifehack.org

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Michael Daws

Aircraft Painter, Sports & Lifestyle Blogger

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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