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12 Influential Ways To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

12 Influential Ways To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

The upkeep on a fresh and healthy relationship might seem like a daunting task to manage some days, but thankfully it’s not hard. Check out these 12 influential ways to keep your relationship healthy. You’ll see what a difference it can make, and you might be inspired to come up with some other tips on your own!

1. Be open and honest with each other.

Honesty should come naturally in a serious, committed relationship – but sometimes that’s when it’s the hardest! Make sure you and your partner have a strong foundation of trust that allows you to tell each other anything. Being up front about anything on your mind or that has happened during your day will make you feel more connected to each other, which in turn will make your relationship more loving and healthy.

2. Encourage each other.

Being in a relationship means you have your own built-in cheerleader. You should be excited to come home from a good day at work and share what amazing things happened to you. Your partner will be there to cheer you on, congratulate you, and pump you up for the next step. Encourage each other to do everything, from anything as small as asking for a new project at work, to something as major as applying for a daunting dream job. Knowing you get that degree of support from your partner will help your relationship grow strong.

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    3. Stay fun and flirty!

    Just because you’re in a committed relationship doesn’t mean you can’t flirt! Be playful with your partner! Smile and bat your eyelashes from across the room, hold hands while grocery shopping, bump hips and fall into a kiss while cooking dinner. Everything doesn’t have to be efficient business-as-usual just because you’ve been together for a long time. In fact, keeping things light and fun will help your relationship feel fresh and new, and last longer!

    4. Try something new.

    A lot of couples have date nights, where they leave the daily grind of their home lives behind and go out to have fun together. Try to implement this with your partner, but make sure to try new things on these dates. Don’t go to the same restaurant every week, or always sit in the same seats at the movie theater. Try that hip new club downtown, or go to a restaurant on opening day.

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    5. Give each other space.

    You and your partner are in a committed relationship, and sometimes that can seem like too much. You don’t always have to be together. Give each other a night off, where he can go run errands on his own, or she can go out with friends. Even if you want to spend all of your free time together, you can still give each other space. One person can watch a movie in the den while the other reads in the bedroom. Give it a try and see what works best to foster your relationship!

    6. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions.

    Just like being honest, it’s sometimes really hard to show emotions in a relationship. You want to be understood as strong and independent, not someone who needs the other too much. Acting this way, however, will create a barrier between you and your partner. If you seem too independent or closed off, the relationship can suffer. Don’t be an overly emotional wreck, but if you feel something, make sure your partner knows. They can help you through things, and you need to work together in order to keep your relationship working.

    7. Learn how to resolve conflicts.

    It’s too easy to fight until you’re tired, and then just let it go. Don’t do this! You have to resolve the issue when you’re fighting, otherwise it will keep coming up and causing trouble for you both. No matter how exhausted you are, how many tears have been shed, make sure to resolve a fight before you drop it. This goes beyond the old “never go to bed angry” adage – if it takes time, let the fight stretch over a day or two. The resolution is the healthiest, and most important part – not how quickly you come to it.

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    8. Be open to changes.

    Being committed to someone else means you have to roll with the punches. You have to be ready for changes that occur in his life to affect your life as well. These changes might not always be positive, and they might not always fit into the plan you mapped out, but you have to be open to them. Being willing and able to change with your partner makes the difference between a relationship that seems rocky, and one that will stand the test of time.

    9. Understand each other.

    You don’t have to finish each others’ sentences, but understanding your partner on a deep level is a healthy foundation to have. Understand how he thinks, how he approaches issues, comprehend him, and problem solve. Know that his silence doesn’t mean he’s angry, just thinking. And make sure your partner understands you. Even if this doesn’t come naturally to either of you, take time to sit together and talk it out so you can understand each other in the future.

    10. Break up the routine.

    Date nights, trying something new, making dinner together, making dinner for each other – whatever you can do to break up the routine, try it! Don’t just get up, go to work, and come home to each other. Go shopping together, or go for a walk when you get home. Even if the activity isn’t exciting, the fact that you’re doing something different – together! – will make a huge difference in the day and how you feel about each other.

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    11. Be social outside the relationship.

    Just like needing time and space to yourselves, make sure you keep up relationships with people other than your partner. You need to nurture friendships you had before you became part of a couple, and you shouldn’t turn away new friends you might encounter once you’re happily paired off. Having people outside the relationship helps keep you both grounded, gives you sounding boards, and gives you things to talk about besides your life together.

    12. Look your best.

    This sounds contrary, right? Being able to look like a slob is one of the best parts of being in a committed relationship. Knowing someone will love you even though you’re wearing sweatpants is one of the warmest feelings ever. And it can stay that way! But it’s equally important to take time to look good for your partner. Get dressed up for her, brush your hair, try a new cologne. Looking good doesn’t mean you’re trying to impress someone else, but it will show your partner that you appreciate her still, and don’t take her for granted.

    Featured photo credit: Marley Cook via flickr.com

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    Last Updated on April 6, 2020

    10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

    10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

    Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

    Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

    Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

    So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

    1. Be Authentic

    To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

    Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

    Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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    2. Listen

    Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

    To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

    Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

    Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

    3. Become an Expert

    Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

    You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

    4. Lead with Story

    From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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    If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

    5. Lead by Example

    It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

    ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

    We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

    6. Catch People Doing Good

    A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

    Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

    7. Be Effusive with Praise

    It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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    Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

    8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

    I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

    The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

    If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

    9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

    The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

    The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

    If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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    10. Understand Your Lane

    If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

    Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

    You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

    Final Thoughts

    Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

    It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

    More Tips About Making Influence

    Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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