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12 Important Life Lessons I’ve Learnt After A BreaK Up

12 Important Life Lessons I’ve Learnt After A BreaK Up

Breakup is hard, but its lessons are enlightening. That is the beauty of life – you always find a truth in paradox.

1. Actually, it’s not about them

It’s about us. Break up exposes lots of insecurities that have been residing inside us. Once you make an effort to tackle your inside babies, you actually realize breakup is all about us – not about them. It gives you scope for personal growth and makes you a lot stronger as an individual. However, never repeat the same mistakes again.

2. You lose in heart, but you gain in soul

Break up is devastating and heart wrenching. Nevertheless, like every failure – you may lose in heart, but you gain in soul. You will be much more convincing as an individual and learn to deal with the melancholy of life with dignity. It gives you enormous strength to face life, even if it hits you hard. After all, you survived a breakup.

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3. Breakup has a reason

We all know that every cloud has a silver lining; break up is not an exception too. As Steve Jobs said, you cannot connect the dots by seeing forward, you can only connect dots by seeing backwards. So trust in life’s timing, you’ll surely find answers for all the predicaments of your life. All you have to do is just to wait with hope to find answers.

4. Resentment is stupid

Nothing is more dangerous than your unguarded thoughts. Resentment is common but if you let that occupy your consciousness – the result will be too horrible even to imagine. The heart with resentment that had been the victim of unrequited love is the reason behind most crimes. So be cautious of your thoughts. Invest in yourself and believe that, if it is not mutual – it is not love.

5. “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

Thanks to Maya Angelou. You might have ignored what your partner has said, just to convince you enough to be in “love”. So, when people show you who they are, believe them. It saves a lot of time and aggravation. If you pay attention to someone’s actions, and not their words, you will see the real person. I’ve learned this lesson in a hard way but you don’t have to after reading this.

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6. I just loved the idea of being in love

I love being in love even when I’m not actually in love. I was craving for a secured person to fill up my empty heart by looking for love in all the wrong places. Mere attention, mixed signals would be enough for me to fall in love because I love being in “love”. Few breakups led me to realize this drawback. So withdraw from the temptation of being in love; if you are alone, it doesn’t mean you are ready for a relationship. Love yourself first – then give your heart to someone else.

7. There is life outside love

You might have set aside all the beauty of life chasing love. I’m not denying the importance of love but chasing at the expense of life will leave you clueless. Do not ever frantically search for love to make your life complete. First, live life consciously – love comes to you on its own and makes your life complete.

8. Blaming is immature

Blaming is a coping mechanism to feel better about ourselves to the extent of masking reality. Do not blame, your partner has taken the choice – accept it. Being responsible for the happenings is scary but being responsible is also a power that steers you towards enlightenment and thorough understanding of your inner self. So stop blaming and start taking the responsibility for your own good.

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9. Forgiving is strength

We all would love to show our greatness to our ex and make them lament over leaving us. I’ve passed this phase too. My question is, “Why?” Simply forgive them and move on, it’s a sign of strength. Forgiving is strength. Not everyone can forgive, it requires lots of courage and maturity to grow beyond silly manifestations of greatness. Trust me – you gain everything by forgiving them.

10. Never go back to your ex

Surviving a breakup is hard. We sometimes tend to feel so low that we call up our ex and share our feelings. However, do not do that – your ex is your ex for a reason and you should never want to poke the past expecting to ignite the flame of love again. It simply doesn’t happen. Moreover, it tells you a lot about you and your insecurities; clinging to the love that is unrequited makes you bitter. Remember you create your own reality.

11. Lessons learnt should be kept

Whenever life teaches us lessons, we tend to ignore them and repeat the patterns in our next encounters. The truth is, life goes on teaching you the same lesson if you repeat the same mistake. So keep the lessons and never repeat the mistake twice. If you do so, people consider your repeated mistakes as your behaviour and you will never move forward.

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12. None of these lessons would be learnt without a breakup

Break up is actually a blessing, its just a conspiracy of the universe to lead you to your soul mate. So, happy breakups folks till you find the One.

Featured photo credit: Tanner Almon via flickr.com

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KAMAL SUCHARAN BURRI

Founding Director, Newlight Cinemas

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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