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12 Common Online Dating Mistakes You’ve Probably Made

12 Common Online Dating Mistakes You’ve Probably Made

The world has changed pretty quickly. More and more, we’re finding our jobs, our cars, and our homes online – and we’re also finding love. In fact, the online dating industry now reports annual revenues of nearly $1.25 billion. Because it’s such a nascent phenomenon, though, there’s a pretty steep learning curve. Before you reach out to that potentially perfect partner, make sure you go about it the right way. Avoiding any missteps can give you a better chance to initiate contact, land a date and hopefully see it blossom into love. For some of the more common online dating mistakes to avoid, read on.

1. Don’t Post Your Best Photo

People don’t often look like their best photos. If you do, wonderful. If you’re like the rest of us though, you’re only setting yourself up for failure if you post your best one. Instead, post normal, everyday photos of yourself and avoid any pictures where the light catches you perfectly and gives you that (unrealistic) movie star look.

2. Take the Time to Really Read Member Profiles

People put a lot of time and effort into creating their profiles – do yourself a favor and actually read them. If you’re outside someone’s age or location range, don’t make contact. If you’re a pet lover and a profile catches your eye, don’t reach out if that person is allergic to cats. Reading online dating profiles thoroughly may take a bit of time, but in the long run, it’s going to make your search for that perfect someone a lot more efficient.

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3. Be Careful What You Say and Who You Say It To

Don’t automatically assume that people on a particular dating website don’t converse with one another. If you’re telling one individual what a party animal you are but you try to come off as a homebody to attract another, you might get caught dead in your tracks.

4. Cast a Broad Net in Your Search

Rather than looking for reasons not to reach out to people, try to find things that do attract you to them. Contact anyone you might share common interests with and see where it goes. If you’ve never been attracted to brunettes, loosen up a bit. If you think you’d never date an avid sports fan, give it a shot. You never know what type of person you might fall for and the content of online profiles is limited by nature, so send messages to some folks the computer may not automatically match you with and you might just surprise yourself.

5. Consider a Paid Membership Over Free Websites

Going with one of the free dating websites like Plenty of Fish might seem like a no-brainer instead of paying for a membership with Match, but generally members of paid websites are more serious about finding a relationship. Your results aren’t guaranteed either way, but you could find yourself wasting a lot of time if you don’t consider shelling out a few bucks for a short-term subscription.

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6. Make Your First Message Original

Don’t simply write up a stock introduction and copy and paste it to all candidates. Instead, get an idea of how you want to present yourself and zero in on something in each member’s profile to comment on. If you work in similar industries, mention that. If you have a common hobby, break the ice that way. A lot of members can spot generic messages pretty easily and many won’t respond to them at all. Most importantly, don’t make your first message something as pedestrian as “Hi.” It’s not too hard to come up with a more engaging intro than that.

7. Cut to the Chase as Quickly as Possible

Don’t fall into the trap of endless email conversations or mindless texts that drag on for days. After a few electronic messages, ask to speak on the phone. Have some brief conversations and then request a date. Finding a suitable partner takes time, so it’s important to meet a candidate as quickly as possible to see if there’s a spark.

8. Be Up Front About Your Intentions

If all you’re looking for is a roll in the hay, say so tactfully. If you prefer to be friends first long before any romance, mention that as well. There’s no need to hide your intentions – they’re eventually going to come out.

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9. Don’t Stalk Members If You Don’t Receive a Response

If you message someone you think is a perfect match for you, do not obsess if you don’t receive an email in return. Everyone is different and if someone’s just not into you, simply move on to greener pastures.

10. Avoid the Urge to Get Your Hopes Up

It can be very easy to believe you’ve found “the one” based simply on a profile, but avoid the urge to get your hopes up until you meet in person. That’s when the rubber meets the road. Building up high expectations beforehand may just be setting yourself up for failure. Be patient and cautious and take things one step at a time.

11. Be Careful When Divulging Personal Information

Be very careful about any personal information you divulge, especially before you’ve met in person. Identity thieves peruse dating websites, which means it’s important to keep your guard up at all times. Use a separate email address that contains no identifiable personal information until you’ve met and determined that this is a real person with the right intentions.

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12. Don’t Go Overboard on a First Date

If you get to the point of a personal meeting, don’t drop a wad of cash on the first date. Instead, keep things low-key and low-cost – there’s nothing wrong with meeting for a walk in the park or grabbing a latte at Starbucks, as cliché as that might sound. If you get into the habit of spending big bucks each and every time you score a date, your budget is going to feel the pinch.

Online dating is convenient, in some cases free, and it’s a great way to meet people if you’re a busy professional – but don’t forget to venture out into the real world, too. Believe it or not, not every single person is a member of an online dating website. Get more sociable at the gym, involve yourself in your community, and get out more often with your friends. That way, you improve your overall chances of finding that special someone.

What mistakes have you made in the course of your online dating activities?

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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