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11 Things That Happen When Your Partner Is Your Best Friend

11 Things That Happen When Your Partner Is Your Best Friend

Calling someone your partner sounds wonderful, but it becomes even more enjoyable when that person is also your best friend. I discovered the joy of sharing life with your best friend when I married mine. You can find this joy too. Here are 11 things that happen when your partner is your best friend.

1. When You Make Each Other Laugh.

Great friends know how to get giggles out of one another. Because you understand each other’s sense of humor, you enjoy bringing it out. Laughter lightens the worst of days. Best friends don’t laugh at each other, they laugh with one another. You may prefer slap-stick humor or embrace sarcasm as your love language. If you can laugh together, you can also face tough stuff together. Laughter bonds people in an excellent way. Having a shared sense of humor makes life more fun just because you’re with each other.

2. When You Cheer For Each Other.

We all need our own personal cheerleader. Having someone who believes the best in us helps us to aspire to bring out the best in ourselves. Real friends recognize our strengths, even when we don’t. They root for us and encourage us when we feel like pieces of litter crumpled on the street. A great friendship trades back and forth. When one feels down, the other lifts them up. You know your partner is your best friend when they know how to make you laugh so hard you find liquid bursting out your nose.

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3. When They Bring Out the Best In You And Vice Versa.

Some people spark parts of ourselves that we don’t enjoy catching on fire. Then, there are others. When we spend time with them, we feel better about ourselves. Something about their presence makes us want to be better people. If your partner brings out the best in you, you become kinder because of them. You act nicer. You like yourself. This is the sign of a best friend. Because you are friends, you also desire to bring out the best in them.

4. When The Friendship Isn’t About Me Or You, It’s About Us.

Have you ever found yourself starting all your sentences with, “I want,” or “I do,” or “I can?” There are people in our lives that bring out our insecurities. They make you feel as if you need to prove yourself each time you get together. As a result, you become self-focused and always hear the word, “I,” spewing from your mouth. We’ve all been around people like that. Those kinds of friendships don’t tend to last because they always lean one way. Best friends don’t just lean one way, they hold each other up. Being best friends involves teamwork, and as every coach on the planet always says, “There’s no ‘I’ in team.”

5. When You Share Your Inner Nerd, Geek, or Dork With Confidence.

We all have a nerd, geek or dork living inside us somewhere. Many of us hide this part of ourselves, because we fear rejection. It exists none the less. Maybe part of you secretly wishes you could go to Comic Con dressed as a superhero. Or maybe you have a secret fascination with the paintings of Manet. Or you regularly watch the weather channel hoping to observe the formation of a tornado. When you bravely reveal these pieces of yourself, you demonstrate how much you want to develop a closer friendship. If you find out that your partner accepts your hidden side, you will trust them more. You become more genuine. This real friendship draws you closer to one another.

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6. When Chores Aren’t A Chore.

Need to take out the garbage, clean the cat litter, or scrub down the car? Good friends come alongside to lend a helping hand. They don’t complain (unless it’s a joke). They see the need and help to fill the need. As you work together, you discover how much more happens when two tackle the task. And,occasionally you get the extra bonus of having fun while you work.

7. When You Become Totally Truthful. (in a kind way)

When a girl asks, “How do I look in this dress,” many men fear answering this question. Over time, if you’ve built a strong friendship, you can confidently tell her how the dress does or doesn’t bring out the best in her. Because of the genuine love and friendship that’s shared, this isn’t taken as the much-feared insult. It’s one friend confiding in another. When you build trust and respect, you get completely honest with your best friend. Because of kindness and caring, you do this gently. Friends rely on one another for this kind of honesty. After all, who else could point out the spinach caught between your teeth and still make you feel like a million bucks?

8. When Germs Cannot Separate You.

Flu, we don’t like you. This applies to the common cold and many other illnesses too. Bacteria make us feel uncomfortable,even fearful. We wonder if they will leap from one person to another and land firmly on us. No one wants the germs to spread, but when the sick one is your best friend, you’ll take that chance. You’ll bring soup, read books, watch movies, and clean dishes. You’ll get them tissues or whatever it is they need. They matter so much that you’ll risk catching an illness. That’s what best friends do.

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9. When You Fall Fearlessly.

Some of the worst injuries to skiers happen because they fear falling. They fight the fall and end up hurting themselves more as a result. Life is full of times where we fear falling. We fear failure. We fear disappointing ourselves or others. We fear the unexpected. When your partner is your best friend, you know they want to catch you if you fall. You also want to help them. If, for some reason, you cannot save each other, you can at least help one another to get up and try again. This gives you confidence. It’s the sign of a great friendship.

10. When You Want To Listen More Than To Talk.

Most people prefer talking over listening. We long to be heard. And yet, a best friend doesn’t focus only on their own words. They enjoy learning more about their friend. We’ve been given two ears and one mouth, which implies that one should be used twice as much as the other. A best friend longs to listen more than to speak, because everything you hear is something you value. You really care about how your partner’s day progressed. You want to know what they prefer to do when they find time to rest. When your partner is your best friend, you become better at listening than talking. Eventually, you get to share your story too, because your partner also listens.

11. When You Embrace The Power Of Forgiveness.

No one achieves everything on this list all the time. We all falter. As you discover these strengths within yourself and your partner, there will still be days when you fail. They will also fail. The best of friends do enjoy great fun together, but they also suffer through failure together. You continue to be great friends when you develop the skill and power found in forgiveness. When you realize your limits and accept the limits of your partner, you become kinder and more compassionate. This is the real glue of any friendship. No partnership will be complete without it.

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“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ― Elbert Hubbard

Do you know other things that happen when your partner is your best friend? Share them in the comments.

Featured photo credit: pair_of_pears/hotblack via cdn.morguefile.com

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Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

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Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

More Resources About Job Interviews

Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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