Advertising
Advertising

11 Things That Happen When Your Partner Is Your Best Friend

11 Things That Happen When Your Partner Is Your Best Friend

Calling someone your partner sounds wonderful, but it becomes even more enjoyable when that person is also your best friend. I discovered the joy of sharing life with your best friend when I married mine. You can find this joy too. Here are 11 things that happen when your partner is your best friend.

1. When You Make Each Other Laugh.

Great friends know how to get giggles out of one another. Because you understand each other’s sense of humor, you enjoy bringing it out. Laughter lightens the worst of days. Best friends don’t laugh at each other, they laugh with one another. You may prefer slap-stick humor or embrace sarcasm as your love language. If you can laugh together, you can also face tough stuff together. Laughter bonds people in an excellent way. Having a shared sense of humor makes life more fun just because you’re with each other.

2. When You Cheer For Each Other.

We all need our own personal cheerleader. Having someone who believes the best in us helps us to aspire to bring out the best in ourselves. Real friends recognize our strengths, even when we don’t. They root for us and encourage us when we feel like pieces of litter crumpled on the street. A great friendship trades back and forth. When one feels down, the other lifts them up. You know your partner is your best friend when they know how to make you laugh so hard you find liquid bursting out your nose.

Advertising

3. When They Bring Out the Best In You And Vice Versa.

Some people spark parts of ourselves that we don’t enjoy catching on fire. Then, there are others. When we spend time with them, we feel better about ourselves. Something about their presence makes us want to be better people. If your partner brings out the best in you, you become kinder because of them. You act nicer. You like yourself. This is the sign of a best friend. Because you are friends, you also desire to bring out the best in them.

4. When The Friendship Isn’t About Me Or You, It’s About Us.

Have you ever found yourself starting all your sentences with, “I want,” or “I do,” or “I can?” There are people in our lives that bring out our insecurities. They make you feel as if you need to prove yourself each time you get together. As a result, you become self-focused and always hear the word, “I,” spewing from your mouth. We’ve all been around people like that. Those kinds of friendships don’t tend to last because they always lean one way. Best friends don’t just lean one way, they hold each other up. Being best friends involves teamwork, and as every coach on the planet always says, “There’s no ‘I’ in team.”

5. When You Share Your Inner Nerd, Geek, or Dork With Confidence.

We all have a nerd, geek or dork living inside us somewhere. Many of us hide this part of ourselves, because we fear rejection. It exists none the less. Maybe part of you secretly wishes you could go to Comic Con dressed as a superhero. Or maybe you have a secret fascination with the paintings of Manet. Or you regularly watch the weather channel hoping to observe the formation of a tornado. When you bravely reveal these pieces of yourself, you demonstrate how much you want to develop a closer friendship. If you find out that your partner accepts your hidden side, you will trust them more. You become more genuine. This real friendship draws you closer to one another.

Advertising

6. When Chores Aren’t A Chore.

Need to take out the garbage, clean the cat litter, or scrub down the car? Good friends come alongside to lend a helping hand. They don’t complain (unless it’s a joke). They see the need and help to fill the need. As you work together, you discover how much more happens when two tackle the task. And,occasionally you get the extra bonus of having fun while you work.

7. When You Become Totally Truthful. (in a kind way)

When a girl asks, “How do I look in this dress,” many men fear answering this question. Over time, if you’ve built a strong friendship, you can confidently tell her how the dress does or doesn’t bring out the best in her. Because of the genuine love and friendship that’s shared, this isn’t taken as the much-feared insult. It’s one friend confiding in another. When you build trust and respect, you get completely honest with your best friend. Because of kindness and caring, you do this gently. Friends rely on one another for this kind of honesty. After all, who else could point out the spinach caught between your teeth and still make you feel like a million bucks?

8. When Germs Cannot Separate You.

Flu, we don’t like you. This applies to the common cold and many other illnesses too. Bacteria make us feel uncomfortable,even fearful. We wonder if they will leap from one person to another and land firmly on us. No one wants the germs to spread, but when the sick one is your best friend, you’ll take that chance. You’ll bring soup, read books, watch movies, and clean dishes. You’ll get them tissues or whatever it is they need. They matter so much that you’ll risk catching an illness. That’s what best friends do.

Advertising

9. When You Fall Fearlessly.

Some of the worst injuries to skiers happen because they fear falling. They fight the fall and end up hurting themselves more as a result. Life is full of times where we fear falling. We fear failure. We fear disappointing ourselves or others. We fear the unexpected. When your partner is your best friend, you know they want to catch you if you fall. You also want to help them. If, for some reason, you cannot save each other, you can at least help one another to get up and try again. This gives you confidence. It’s the sign of a great friendship.

10. When You Want To Listen More Than To Talk.

Most people prefer talking over listening. We long to be heard. And yet, a best friend doesn’t focus only on their own words. They enjoy learning more about their friend. We’ve been given two ears and one mouth, which implies that one should be used twice as much as the other. A best friend longs to listen more than to speak, because everything you hear is something you value. You really care about how your partner’s day progressed. You want to know what they prefer to do when they find time to rest. When your partner is your best friend, you become better at listening than talking. Eventually, you get to share your story too, because your partner also listens.

11. When You Embrace The Power Of Forgiveness.

No one achieves everything on this list all the time. We all falter. As you discover these strengths within yourself and your partner, there will still be days when you fail. They will also fail. The best of friends do enjoy great fun together, but they also suffer through failure together. You continue to be great friends when you develop the skill and power found in forgiveness. When you realize your limits and accept the limits of your partner, you become kinder and more compassionate. This is the real glue of any friendship. No partnership will be complete without it.

Advertising

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ― Elbert Hubbard

Do you know other things that happen when your partner is your best friend? Share them in the comments.

Featured photo credit: pair_of_pears/hotblack via cdn.morguefile.com

More by this author

Money 10 Money Saving Strategies That Really Work Pair of Pears 11 Things That Happen When Your Partner Is Your Best Friend

Trending in Communication

1 How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward 2 What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships 3 How To Stop Negative Thoughts from Killing Your Confidence 4 This 4-Year Old Girl’s Explanation On the Problem with New Year’s Resolutions Is Everything You Need 5 What You Really Need to Feel Secure in a Relationship

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

Advertising

Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Advertising

1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

Advertising

5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

Advertising

If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

More Resources About Strengthening Communication Skills

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next