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10 Ways To Save A Dying Friendship

10 Ways To Save A Dying Friendship

Having good friends can lead to happier, more connected lives. However, sometimes friendships aren’t easy to maintain. We all have lots of obligations pulling at our time: busy schedules, needy family members, work lives, volunteer responsibilities, etc. Even though friendships can be the first thing to go when your schedule gets tight, keeping connected to friends is essential to a happy life.  Here are 10 ways to take your friendships from failing to fabulous.

1. Make time for your friends.

Next time one of your friends calls you and wants to do something, say yes. Spending time together will bring your relationship back from the brink.

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2. Send a thoughtful gift.

If your relationship is already on the rocks, you’ll need to do something that requires a little effort. The easiest way show someone you care is a thoughtful gift. It shows someone you took time out of your busy life to do something nice for them. It doesn’t have to be expensive—you could just send them their favorite snack.

3. Send a note.

Don’t you love getting mail? Especially mail that is not a bill? Your friend will too. A note is one of the nicest things to receive. It doesn’t have to be complicated—just telling your friend you are thinking about them will go a long way.

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4. Remind your friend of the good times.

Sometimes we go through a rough patch with friends because there are too many arguments and not enough laughs.  If you’re having a hard time getting past a disagreement, remind your friend of a good time you’ve had together. This will help him or her associate your friendship with good memories.

5. Apologize.

One of the biggest reasons a friendship dies is because of conflict. Did you have a fight? Or, are you holding a grudge? The easiest way to get over it is to apologize—even if you don’t think you did anything wrong. You can say something like “I’m sorry for making your feel…”  By validating your friend’s feelings, you will be able to get over the argument and back into the friendship.

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6. Give your friend a call.

Sometimes, a friendship dies simply because we forget to make time for each other. To stop this slow, painful death, just pick up the phone. Tell your friend you’re thinking about them. Maybe even set up a time to see each other again.

7. Set up a lunch date.

Getting together is the easiest way to reconnect. One of my favorite ways to connect with friends is over lunch. Lunch is casual, and it is usually a bright spot in everyone’s day. So, by getting together for lunch, your friend will associate you will a fun time that he or she looks forward to.

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8. Schedule a regular activity you can do together.

A regularly-scheduled activity is even better than a one-time lunch date. Plan to take a walk together once a week, or plan to go shopping once a month. Friends can help make mundane activities feel fun.

9. Do something exciting together.

Adrenaline builds connections—fast. So, think about zip-lining, rock climbing, or running a race together. This way, you can conquer a challenge, and conquer your dying friendship.

10. Be interested in your friend’s life.

Make sure that when you get together with friends you don’t just talk about your own life. Ask questions about their life, and make sure you are interested in what they are saying. You can offer advice and support where it’s needed, and become a trusted adviser and confidant.

Make sure to cultivate your friendships. They can bring laughter when you need to smile and support when you need someone to lean on. Without friends, life can get lonely and boring. So, pick up the phone today and take your friendships from on the rocks to better than ever.

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Kelsie Fannon

Kelsie is a journalist and writer who shares about productivity and money tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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