Advertising
Advertising

10 Truths You May Have Forgotten In Your Hard Times

10 Truths You May Have Forgotten In Your Hard Times

We all go through hard times – it’s called “life.” Some people have more hard times than others, but eventually, we all experience pain and loss. It could be the loss of a loved one, a job, a home, or your dignity. Whatever hard time you are going through, you might have lost sight of some of the very things that might help you make it through the rough waters. Here are 10 truths that you may have forgotten during your hard times:

1. Pain is part of life and love – it helps you grow.

Sure, we would all love to live a life that is free from pain. We all want to feel good and be happy at all moments. But as you know, this is not possible. But what is possible is having the choice of what you do with the pain. I have seen many people who go through unimaginable pain like losing a child or being diagnosed with a devastating disease who turn their pain into something positive. They teach others and spread light in the world as a result of their pain and sorrow. You can do the same thing, too.

“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” -William Goldman

2. Mindset and attitude are half the battle.

Most of success lies in attitude and effort, and not in someone’s intelligence. This shows how important your thoughts are. You can re-frame almost any situation if you try hard enough. Remember this: It’s only a problem if you think it’s a problem.

Advertising

“A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.” -Patricia Neal

3. Sometimes, your biggest fears are just illusions.

Many times, what we really fear is simply the unknown. We fear that we are not going to be able to cope with a tragedy that comes our way. Or we fear that we won’t know which direction to head if we are thrust into an unfamiliar situation. But as a wise friend once told me, “uncertainty breeds opportunity.” Embrace the fear and face it anyway.

FEAR is an acronym in the English language for False Evidence Appearing Real.” -Neale Donald Walsch

4. This “problem” is really a valuable growth opportunity.

You can grow from any experience if you chose to do so. Or, you can choose to be a victim and wallow in your disappointment and depression. The choice is yours. When we are the middle of hard times, it’s easy to forget this. It’s all about mental strength and attitude. Simply re-framing the situation will help you learn from it.

Advertising

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.”  -Oprah Winfrey

5. You can’t change any situation unless you take some responsibility for it.

It’s easy to blame others. But it’s not the mature thing to do. Yes, there ares some times when we are the unfortunate target of another person’s bad behavior. However, there are a lot of situations in life that you had a big part of creating. Whether it’s a bad relationship, a rotten job, or a bad investment, you had some participation in how it turned out. Look at what you can do differently and then take positive action.

“It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities.” -Josiah Charles Stamp

6. All we have is NOW – the present.

So many people live the past. They yearn for their “glory days” or their youth. And yet other people live in the future. They think, “when I get that perfect job … or when I meet that perfect romantic partner … or when I get $10,000 saved up … then I will be happy.” But all you have is the present moment. Decide to be happy in the NOW because that is really all we ever have.

Advertising

“Do not dwell on the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”  -Buddha

7. There is always something to be thankful for.

If you have a roof over your head, food on your table, and air in your lungs, you are a lucky person. You don’t have to be a super model or a millionaire to find something to be thankful for. Believe me, there is always someone else in the world who has it more difficult that you. So look at what you do have, not what you don’t have.

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you,’ it will be enough.”  -Meister Eckhart

8. Great things don’t happen overnight.

We live in a world where it seems like everyone becomes famous from a reality show or Youtube. But real success takes time. You have to keep plugging away, day after day. You can’t let rejection or setbacks stop you from reaching your destiny. Keep on the journey and you will get there at the right time.

Advertising

“Patience, persistance, and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.”  -Napoleon Hill

9. You need to validate yourself – don’t rely on other people to do it.

If you always look to other people to tell you that you are worthy, then you are going to be a miserable person. Let’s face it – many people are not kind. So why don’t you start working on your self-talk? Change negative thoughts into positive ones. Be your own biggest fan. Love yourself. It’s not conceit, it’s called inner peace.

“I don’t like myself, I’m crazy about myself.”  -Mae West

10. You’re not alone.

Maybe you are going through something that no one can relate to. But even if you don’t have family or many friends, the internet is a fingertip away for most people. Go look for message boards or support groups on social media. There are always people out there somewhere who are wiling to help and give advice. Go find them if you don’t have support in your every day life.

“Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.” -Helen Keller

Hard times are not fun. But instead of letting yourself sink into a deep abyss of depression, try to train your brain to re-focus. It does take mental strength, but you can do it. That’s the best way to grow as a person.

More by this author

Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is a dating and relationship coach, professor, TV personality, speaker, and author.

How to Stop Being Absent Minded and Start to Be More Attentive 7 Ways In Which Entrepreneurs Perceive The World Differently 7 Simple Steps to Improve Your Financial Management Skills 7 Negative Thoughts That Stop You From Achieving Your Full Potential 12 Things Those Who Have A Strong Mom Will Understand

Trending in Communication

1 What Is Your Destiny in Life? How to Mindfully Achieve Your Purpose 2 7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck 3 10 Things You Can Do Now to Change Your Life Forever 4 Meditation Can Change Your Life: The Power of Mindfulness 5 Understand Your Love Style & Learn to Love: Co Dependent Relationship

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

Advertising

When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

Advertising

I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

Advertising

No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

Advertising

If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

Read Next