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10 Things You Cared About Growing Up 10 Years Ago but Don’t Now

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10 Things You Cared About Growing Up 10 Years Ago but Don’t Now

Getting older is inevitable. Looking back on our past is a way to see how much we have grown, and evaluate where we want to go in the future. Our past has made us who we are today. However, the things that we used to care about 10 years ago, are nowhere near as important to us today as they used to be. Here are 10 things that you cared about 10 years ago, but don’t today.

1. You cared about what people thought about you

Ten years ago, when you were trying to fit in and find your place, you actually cared what people thought about you. Today, that couldn’t be more wrong. Within the last 10 years you have learned what makes you tick, what you’re good at, what you love, what you hate- you just know who you are. If someone doesn’t like it too bad. They can keep it movin’ forward just like you.

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2. You cared about having name brand clothes

Ten years ago you cared about what kind of clothes you wore. You would not be caught dead in some Walmart or Target brand clothing. You/your parents spent way too much money on those those as well. Today, you have matured and have come to the realization that money is better spent on other things. You still have some name brand clothing, but you don’t care one way or another if people notice it. It’s just not that important to you anymore, as you have far more things to worry about today than you did 10 years ago.

3. You cared about gossip

This might be more true for the ladies, but I know guys talk just as much as us. 10 years  ago you cared way more about who was dating who and what drama everyone was talking about. You never wanted to be the last person to know what was going on. Today when you hear gossip it’s just not as entertaining. Your life doesn’t revolve around it, and you are probably the last one to know about it. Lets face it, today you just have more to worry about than someone else’s drama.

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4.  You cared about school

Ten years ago you were probably in school, whether it was high school, college, graduate, ect. and you actually cared about how you did. Majority of your free time during the week was spent doing homework, or at least putting your homework off until the last minute. Today, you have made it past that in one way or another, and you are working. Sometimes you actually wish you could go back to those days of less responsibility, but then you wouldn’t be as successful as you are today. Today you are hopefully glad you went – but it’s just not part of your life anymore.

5. You cared about being able to drive

Ten years ago you might have been starting to drive, or not quite 21. You cared about getting the car from your parents, or having your own car. You cared about being able to drive anywhere you wanted, and were usually the one of your friends who drove everyone-everywhere. Today, its the opposite. If you don’t have to drive you won’t. On the weekend you are worried about who will be the sober cab, and probably crossing your fingers that it won’t be you. Instead of loving the road, you are hating the morning and rush hour traffic. You have developed some form of road rage. Simply put, you don’t want to drive.

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6. You cared about keeping a good image in front of your parents

Ten years ago you cared about not getting caught sneaking out, or doing something you shouldn’t be – by your parents. Whether you cared about keeping a good image in their eyes, or just cared about not getting in trouble; you did your best to avoid being caught. Today, you will gladly open up to them about how you would throw parties when they went out of town.Your relationship with your parents today is a lot different than it was 10 years ago. Today your parents are your close friends, rather than an authority. You have come to the realization that your parents love you no matter what you did then, or now.

7. You cared about keeping up with TV shows

Ten years ago you had days of the week and times picked out that you had to be at a TV to watch your favorite show. Whether it was American Idol, The OC, Survivor, or Lost you had to be at a TV (or you wouldn’t know what happened with that mysterious button ). Today, we don’t care about what time our favorite shows come on. With the invention of DVR you no longer have to be home at the exact time a show is on to watch it – best television invention ever.

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8. You cared about being skinny

Ten years ago you wanted to be as skinny as the models you saw in the magazines and on TV. You either worked your ass off daily to get the body you wanted, or you tried ridiculous diets. Today, you have matured in caring about your health rather than being stick thin. You have realized that fit is better than skinny, and you have developed a healthier lifestyle to maintain the body you want. You don’t have as much time to hit the gym as you used to, but you still make the effort, and eat how you want.

9. You cared about what other people thought you should do with your life

Ten years ago you cared about other people’s opinions about what you should do in your life, whether it was career wise, relationship, or school. You wanted to know what people thought you would be good at, and you might even have gone along with it. Today, you have matured and realized that you really do know you best. You are the one that has to live with all your choices. It’s nice to know what people think you are good at, but it’s not what drives you.

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10. You cared about people’s words

Ten years ago you took people at face value. You cared about what people said to you, and whatever promises they made you. Today, you know better. You now care about people’s actions, rather than their words. Words are great, but actions speak volumes.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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