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10 Things You Cared About Growing Up 10 Years Ago but Don’t Now

10 Things You Cared About Growing Up 10 Years Ago but Don’t Now

Getting older is inevitable. Looking back on our past is a way to see how much we have grown, and evaluate where we want to go in the future. Our past has made us who we are today. However, the things that we used to care about 10 years ago, are nowhere near as important to us today as they used to be. Here are 10 things that you cared about 10 years ago, but don’t today.

1. You cared about what people thought about you

Ten years ago, when you were trying to fit in and find your place, you actually cared what people thought about you. Today, that couldn’t be more wrong. Within the last 10 years you have learned what makes you tick, what you’re good at, what you love, what you hate- you just know who you are. If someone doesn’t like it too bad. They can keep it movin’ forward just like you.

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2. You cared about having name brand clothes

Ten years ago you cared about what kind of clothes you wore. You would not be caught dead in some Walmart or Target brand clothing. You/your parents spent way too much money on those those as well. Today, you have matured and have come to the realization that money is better spent on other things. You still have some name brand clothing, but you don’t care one way or another if people notice it. It’s just not that important to you anymore, as you have far more things to worry about today than you did 10 years ago.

3. You cared about gossip

This might be more true for the ladies, but I know guys talk just as much as us. 10 years  ago you cared way more about who was dating who and what drama everyone was talking about. You never wanted to be the last person to know what was going on. Today when you hear gossip it’s just not as entertaining. Your life doesn’t revolve around it, and you are probably the last one to know about it. Lets face it, today you just have more to worry about than someone else’s drama.

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4.  You cared about school

Ten years ago you were probably in school, whether it was high school, college, graduate, ect. and you actually cared about how you did. Majority of your free time during the week was spent doing homework, or at least putting your homework off until the last minute. Today, you have made it past that in one way or another, and you are working. Sometimes you actually wish you could go back to those days of less responsibility, but then you wouldn’t be as successful as you are today. Today you are hopefully glad you went – but it’s just not part of your life anymore.

5. You cared about being able to drive

Ten years ago you might have been starting to drive, or not quite 21. You cared about getting the car from your parents, or having your own car. You cared about being able to drive anywhere you wanted, and were usually the one of your friends who drove everyone-everywhere. Today, its the opposite. If you don’t have to drive you won’t. On the weekend you are worried about who will be the sober cab, and probably crossing your fingers that it won’t be you. Instead of loving the road, you are hating the morning and rush hour traffic. You have developed some form of road rage. Simply put, you don’t want to drive.

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6. You cared about keeping a good image in front of your parents

Ten years ago you cared about not getting caught sneaking out, or doing something you shouldn’t be – by your parents. Whether you cared about keeping a good image in their eyes, or just cared about not getting in trouble; you did your best to avoid being caught. Today, you will gladly open up to them about how you would throw parties when they went out of town.Your relationship with your parents today is a lot different than it was 10 years ago. Today your parents are your close friends, rather than an authority. You have come to the realization that your parents love you no matter what you did then, or now.

7. You cared about keeping up with TV shows

Ten years ago you had days of the week and times picked out that you had to be at a TV to watch your favorite show. Whether it was American Idol, The OC, Survivor, or Lost you had to be at a TV (or you wouldn’t know what happened with that mysterious button ). Today, we don’t care about what time our favorite shows come on. With the invention of DVR you no longer have to be home at the exact time a show is on to watch it – best television invention ever.

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8. You cared about being skinny

Ten years ago you wanted to be as skinny as the models you saw in the magazines and on TV. You either worked your ass off daily to get the body you wanted, or you tried ridiculous diets. Today, you have matured in caring about your health rather than being stick thin. You have realized that fit is better than skinny, and you have developed a healthier lifestyle to maintain the body you want. You don’t have as much time to hit the gym as you used to, but you still make the effort, and eat how you want.

9. You cared about what other people thought you should do with your life

Ten years ago you cared about other people’s opinions about what you should do in your life, whether it was career wise, relationship, or school. You wanted to know what people thought you would be good at, and you might even have gone along with it. Today, you have matured and realized that you really do know you best. You are the one that has to live with all your choices. It’s nice to know what people think you are good at, but it’s not what drives you.

10. You cared about people’s words

Ten years ago you took people at face value. You cared about what people said to you, and whatever promises they made you. Today, you know better. You now care about people’s actions, rather than their words. Words are great, but actions speak volumes.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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