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10 Things a Real Man Does When He’s in a Relationship

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10 Things a Real Man Does When He’s in a Relationship

Some women feel a “Real Man” doesn’t exist—that he is impossible to find. Other women do not want someone like him. On the other hand, some men think they are the very definition of a “Real Man.” Other men feel there is no such thing. One thing is true, though: Those men who think they are the very definition of a “Real Man” and those who think they are not are both very often wrong.

If you want to know if you are a real man or are in a relationship with a real man, watch the actions. A real man behaves so different from the selfish frat boy types you see everywhere that you can’t fail to notice the difference. He is a gentleman—good for more than just the first few months. Importantly, a real man does things so well when he is in a relationship that you just have to love him and his style.

1. A real man loves and respects his woman for who she is.

He might not love her all the time, but he loves her. Not just her body, her possessions and her status, but all of her! He’s aware that as beautiful as her body is now, physical beauty fades. He therefore focuses his love and attention on her true beauty, which is found within her sensibilities and personality. He treats her like a lady, with dignity and respect. He doesn’t mind cooking her favorite meal, taking her out to wine and dine and paying the bills. He also expects love and respect from her.

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2. A real man commits to the relationship fully.

He doesn’t cheat. He is loyal to his partner and knows that relationships take hard work to keep strong and healthy. His affection to his woman is a full-time commitment. He nourishes and strengthens the relationship through ongoing, honest communication and team work. When you are with a real man, you know you can trust him. He will stay faithful no matter what and expects you to do the same.

3. A real man protects his partner physically and emotionally.

Not that a woman can’t protect and defend herself, but he is there for her anyway. He protects her in different ways, including providing financial security and comforting her and making her feel everything will be okay. He is ready to throw a good punch if necessary to defend her from physical aggressors. However, he thinks before he acts. He never makes a move until he is sure all details and specifics are in order. His moves are calculated, deliberate and assured. Abuse of any kind is never an issue when you are with him. He is considerate and treats everyone kindly.

4. A real man fulfills his partner mentally and sexually.

He knows the majority of time in any relationship is spent doing nonphysical, nonsexual things. Besides whispering to her how beautiful she is or how he is going to make hot, passionate love to her when he gets back home in the evening, he also engages her in meaningful discussions about life, plans with her for the future, and cracks jokes to lighten and liven moments together. He displays an awareness, intelligence and sensitivity that makes his actions not only timely, but also genuinely charming.

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5. A real man takes the first initiative—he leads.

That’s because he wears the pants in the relationship. Of course, the pants are picked out by his woman, but he is still the leader. He steps forward and addresses issues in the relationship boldly. He does not wait for the woman to solve problems. If he is not sure how to address an issue, he seeks help or advice. Some men play it safe and avoid taking the lead because they don’t want to be criticized, but not a real man. A real man says, “I’ll handle it,” and takes the initiative to solve the issue in his way.

6. A real man steps up and makes the tough decisions.

He knows real men are decisive and he makes decisions in the relationship. He does not leave every other decision to his partner. When making decisions, he seeks to understand her views (and that of other concerned parties) and is flexible enough to factor in those other views in his decisions. He does not seek to control people, but rather to improve their situation. If you are reluctant to make decisions, you are likely self-conscious and afraid of making mistakes. Women dislike indecisive, cowardly men.

7. A real man takes responsibility for his actions and decisions.

He does not shift blame (especially to his partner) or try to defend his mistakes. He simply acknowledges when he has made a mistake, apologizes for it, learns from it and works to make it right. Saying, “I am sorry,” is not a big deal to him. He knows it doesn’t make him any less of a man to say it. In fact, saying he’s sorry makes him more of a man because it demonstrates he has the confidence, courage and integrity to admit his faults and seek to correct them.

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8. A real man speaks his mind—always.

He is not afraid or timid to say what’s on his mind. He will say no without fear whenever he doesn’t agree with something. He will debate you on topics he is not comfortable with without losing his cool. He will be straightforward and talk to you as an equal, then allow you to make your own conclusions or take whatever action you wish. This does not mean he is indifferent or treats women badly. He just doesn’t agree with her on everything. He knows a “Yes-man” is no man at all.

9. A real man stands up for the relationship.

Sometimes friends, family and even total strangers ask inappropriate questions or make inappropriate remarks about your relationship, such as saying you are not a “good couple.” In such cases, a real man stands up for himself and defends the legitimacy and integrity of his relationship. Even when he is among his peers, he speaks up and stands his ground in defense of his relationship. This proves he can express himself in the presence others, protect his woman and act like a grown man.

10. A real man pursues other passion(s) that don’t involve his partner.

He has enough going on in his life to keep him busy. That means he is, at least, passionate about one other thing besides his relationship. The relationship does not define him. He will give you your space and you must give him his. He is a confident, ambitious go-getter. He’s a real man!

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Featured photo credit: Ed Ivanushkin via flickr.com

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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