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Communication

10 Things to Forget If You Really Love Yourself

Written by Crystie Lim
Life Coach
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You might often be put into a position where you are obligated to do a certain thing or be a certain way, or to please the people around you. The truth is, you don’t always hold the responsibility of others’ happiness. Loving yourself is essential in order to ensure happiness. You have to learn to love yourself first, before you can proceed to help others. Here are 10 things you should forget, if you really love yourself.

1. Forget trying to make everybody like you.

While it is nice having people to like you, it is not possible to be adored by everybody. By accepting the fact that each individual has different preferences in things and people they like, you will be able to appreciate those who adore you and be okay with those who don’t.

2. Forget trying to please everybody.

You can never please everybody. It is important to be nice, but trying to please everybody is just going to end up burning you out because you can never fulfill every person’s expectations. Help others when you are capable of helping, and know when it is the right time to just let others take care of things on their own.

3. Forget always needing approval from others.

The only person you should seek approval from is you. You might think that fulfilling the expectations of others will make you happy, but in a long run, you will start resenting them or yourself for not truly living for yourself. Finding your passion and living true to it is the right way to get approval from yourself.

4. Forget what others think of you.

What others think can serve as a reference for your learning, but what they think shouldn’t bother you to the point where it brings you down or changes who you are. Every individual has different values and beliefs that make them think they way they do; therefore they will never truly understand your situation base on your values, beliefs and life experiences. As long as you know your own purpose and motivations, what others think doesn’t really matter.

5. Forget trying to be perfect.

Aiming to do a great job is admirable, but nothing can ever be perfect, as there will always be room for improvement in everything. What matters is for you to constantly aim to improve yourself. As long as you put your heart and soul into your pursuit, you have already done the best you can, so you should be grateful for the accomplishment and enjoy the process.

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6. Forget about fearing failure.

Fear is a choice. Choosing to be taken over by it will only stop you from moving forward and pushing to improve yourself. Take every attempt as a learning experience, regardless of the outcome. Understand that without those outcomes, you will not get to learn what doesn’t work, and strive for what works to achieve your goals.

7. Forget overly pampering yourself.

Loving yourself is important, but over pampering yourself will cause you the habit of over indulgence. Having a good balance between self-pampering and self-control helps you to appreciate the things you enjoy as a reward for your hard work.

8. Forget trying to explain everything to everyone.

No matter how much you wish others would understand you or your situation, there will be people who always stick to their own perspectives and beliefs. They will not always agree with the decisions you make. Every individual has their own values and beliefs. As long as you know what you are doing is right for you, and your decision does not harm anybody, you have all the right to pursue them.

9. Forget trying to be someone you are not.

The true freedom of happiness occurs when you can be true and honest to yourself. Hiding your authentic self will leave you miserable in a long run, because you only live for the sake of others’ expectations instead of living for your own values and purposes. Live your life fully by being true to yourself. As long as you are living with a kind heart, there will eventually be people who will appreciate and cherish you for who you truly are.

10. Forget getting involved in too many people’s agendas.

Being helpful and kind to others is a wonderful thing to do. However, if you spend your life trying to get involved in everybody’s agendas, you will only end up with exhaustion and stress. You only have this much time to seek for your own happiness. You can’t save everybody from their troubles. Sometimes it’s good to let them handle their own issues, as that will help them grow to be a stronger person. By allowing others to take care of themselves, you are doing them a favor by encouraging strengths and believing in their abilities.

At the end of the day, you are only human. You are bound to make mistakes. As long as you are willing to learn from each encounter, and be grateful for what you have, you will definitely find your happiness and love yourself for what you have accomplished in life.

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