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10 Simple Ways To Talk With a Stranger Comfortably

10 Simple Ways To Talk With a Stranger Comfortably

Meeting strangers is probably one of most people’s biggest fears, next to speaking in front of a crowd. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be as scary an experience as you might think. These ten easy tips will help you talk with a stranger comfortably.

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    1. Go out alone.

    Don’t always go to events with a friend, significant other, or family member. Go alone, so you’re forced to meet other people. If you go with someone you’re familiar with, you’re more likely to stay and talk to the person you already know you can have conversations with. Also, you never know who your companion will know. What if some of their coworkers show up, and they leave you to go say hello? You’ll be left on your own anyway, so you need to get ready to be left on your own.

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    2. Be prepared to initialize contact.

    Once you’re at an event all by yourself, don’t wait for someone to come up and talk to you. People are called social butterflies because they flit around and meet others. Standing in the corner hoping someone will approach you won’t get you anywhere. Don’t psych yourself out and think this is a big deal‒introducing yourself is the only way you can meet someone new. Get out in the crowd and mingle!

    3. Don’t talk about the weather.

    No one wants to get stuck in a boring conversation. If you start with a corny pick-up line or a bland comment about the weather, don’t be surprised when the other person rolls their eyes or walks away. Lines like those don’t leave much room to encourage socialization‒they’re more stand-alone statements than they are conversation starters. Likewise, it’s best to stay away from political or religious openers. Even if these topics are in the news, you never know what might rub someone the wrong way. Wait until you know the person to discuss hard-hitting topics. If you can’t think of something interesting on your own, just start with a “Hello, how are you?” and see where it goes from there.

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    4. Encourage people to talk about themselves.

    Most people’s favorite topics are‒themselves! Even if you don’t have an interesting opener, you can always ask people to talk about themselves, and they’ll be more than happy to oblige you. Ask what they do for a living, where they’re from, or what they studied in school. If you get someone talking about their interests, you’ll see their true personalities come through. They’ll be excited to share their hobbies, and you might find that you have something in common!

    5. But still share information about yourself.

    Everyone likes to talk about themselves, but they also like to learn about others. If you ask too many questions of a new acquaintance, they might feel like you’re prying or giving them the third degree. Plus, if you share some of your interests, that might trigger something they never thought to share. Who knew you both enjoyed collecting stamps from South Africa?

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    6. Find and discuss common interests.

    Learning about your new friend and sharing information about yourself should naturally lead to finding some common interests. Focus on these and discuss them; you never know when you’ll learn something new! At the very least, you could find a new friend to share this hobby with. If you don’t have any common interests, don’t worry! Not every stranger you meet is meant to become your new best friend. You still got this far in the conversation, so pat yourself on the back!

    7. Be friendly, not pushy or aggressive.

    Regardless of why you’re trying to meet new people, don’t feel pressure to acquire a pocketful of new friends. If you’re scared of failure or feel like you must meet someone new, you’ll come across as aggressive. If someone doesn’t want to have a conversation with you, let them walk off without being pushy and trying to keep them to yourself. Be laid back and go with the flow‒it will make you seem friendly, which means you’ll have better conversations, and be more likely to have other people approach you.

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    8. Don’t be embarrassed if you’re visibly nervous.

    If your voice cracks or your handshake is sweaty, laugh it off. If you’re an amateur comedian and can make it into a joke, point it out and get people laughing with you. If it’s something that makes you feel less confident, just ignore it. Everyone gets nervous sometimes, so push past and continue on with the conversation. Don’t let it trip you up or embarrass you enough that you have to walk away.

    9. Let your personality shine through.

    Above all, be yourself. If you’re trying too hard to appeal to everyone, you’ll come across as flakey and no one will want to talk to you. It’s too much work to be everything to everyone, so be yourself and, above all, enjoy yourself. People will take notice and be drawn to you.

    10. Know when to end the conversation.

    Whether the conversation is a flop or a success, know when to wrap it up. If you know early on that you don’t want to keep talking to someone, find a smooth, painless way to move on and meet someone else. If you have a good conversation and hit it off, tell your new friend that you have to leave, but you’d love to meet up again sometime. Get a phone number or email address and leave the event high on your own success!

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    Last Updated on November 26, 2020

    How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

    How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

    As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

    “Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

    The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

    5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

    Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

    Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

    1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

    Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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    2. Show Compassion

    If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

    3. Communicate Regularly

    Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

    Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

    4. Ask for Feedback

    Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

    If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

    5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

    Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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    How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

    Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

    Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

    According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

    You Can Find Good Help

    It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

    Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

    Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

    Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

    Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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    You Pull Together as a Team

    Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

    Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

    Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

    Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

    Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

    Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

    Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

    Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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    Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

    Your Career Shines Bright

    Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

    Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

    When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

    Final Thoughts

    At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

    At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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    Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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