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10 Signs That You’re Leading A Life That Is True To Yourself

10 Signs That You’re Leading A Life That Is True To Yourself

Growing up, many of our parents told us what they wanted us to become in life. Maybe it was a doctor, a lawyer, or a politician. Whatever the expectations, at some point in life we need to realize that we are in control of our own destiny. So it’s important to get to a place where we can honestly say that we are leading a life that is true to ourselves – and no one else. Here are 10 signs that you are leading that kind of life:

1. You are not afraid to make mistakes.

Mistakes are inevitable. But I don’t even like the word ‘mistake.’ I like the term ‘learning opportunity‘ much better because it implies that no life experience is ever wasted. Every single, solitary thing that happens to us can be viewed as a way to improve ourselves – or at the very least, a chance to figure out what we do want as a result of having what we don’t want.

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2. You follow your intuition.

When you make a decision, you pay attention to the feeling in your stomach. Does it feel good? Great. Then go do it. But if you suddenly feel like you are being suffocated or that you want to vomit, then that is your intuition telling you that it’s wrong. When you lead a life that is true to yourself, you pay attention to those feelings on a regular basis.

3. You don’t care what other people think.

When you are a ‘people pleaser,’ you can never make yourself happy. Now, I’m not suggesting that we stop making other people happy. We should absolutely do that. However, when you are living a life that is true to yourself, you put yourself as a priority. Not in a selfish way, but in a way that honors your self-love. When you do that, what other people think about your life doesn’t matter anymore.

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4. You follow your passion.

People who dread going to work on Mondays are not living a life that is true to themselves. Of course, we all need to make a living, but it is possible to turn your passion into your life’s work. Many people have done it. It may not always be easy, but it can be done. And when you’re true to yourself, you try to find a way to make that happen.

5. You don’t waste time.

People who are living in alignment with their true selves don’t waste time doing things that aren’t productive or enjoyable. If you find yourself indulging too often in things like television or social media, maybe you’re not living a life true to yourself. However, if that is what you truly enjoy doing, then go head and keep doing it.

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6. You always dream big.

You don’t settle. You know that there are big things out there for you and you go after them. You don’t sit on the sidelines of life. You know that you have a purpose on this earth and you continually seek to fulfill it.

7. You know that little things matter.

Sure, making millions of dollars a year sounds awesome. But money, fame, and power are not the only things that matter. In fact, the ‘little things’ like spending more time with your friends and family are what really matters the most – not only today, but at the end of your life.

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8. You know what you want in life.

You have goals. You have a plan. You take steps every day to make those things happen. You don’t just sit around and wait for life to happen to you. Instead, you make life happen.

9. You are not afraid to make decisions.

Decisions can be scary, but without them, you can’t really get anywhere in life. Instead, you become stagnant, and there is no growth or truth in being stagnant. In order to move forward in life, we need to continually make good decisions – sometimes even tough ones. But you don’t shy away from doing that.

10. You don’t remember the last time you got bored.

You love life! You think life is good! You think life is fun! You think there is always something to do – always something to accomplish. You don’t lay around complaining that there is nothing to do because you know that there is always something you can do to keep moving forward in life.

Being true to yourself is vital to happiness. If we deny who we are, then we become suffocated by life, and that’s no way to live. So break the chains that are holding you back and make sure you always keep these 10 things in mind.

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Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Today didn’t turn out as you planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It simply means that you’re human, and you’re not bad just because you had a bad day.

“Not everyday is a good day but there is something good in every day.” -Alice Morse Earle

It’s not the end of the world when you find yourself thinking “I had a bad day,” but it can feel like it. You may have had plans that fell apart, experiences that set you back, and interactions that only did harm.

You may have started the day thinking you could take on it all, only to find you could hardly get out of bed. When you have a bad day, you can forget to look at the good.

Sometimes, self-care helps us to remember why we are worth it. It helps us to recharge and reset our mindset. It helps us to know that there are still options and that the day isn’t over yet.

Love yourself today, no matter how hard it’s been. That’s the way to find yourself amidst the hardships you have. That’s how you center yourself and regain focus and live a more meaningful life. Give yourself some credit and compassion.

Here are 7 ways to rebound from a bad day using self-compassion as a tool. If you had a bad day, these are for you!

1. Make a Gratitude List

In a study on gratitude, psychologists Dr. Robert A Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough conducted an experiment where one group of people wrote out gratitude lists for ten weeks while another group wrote about irritations. The study found that the group that wrote about gratitude reported more optimistic mindsets in their lives[1].

Overall, having a gratitude list improved well-being and made one truly grateful by counting the blessings in their lives.

Write a list of what you are grateful for if you had a bad day. Make it as long as you like, but also remember to note why you’re grateful for each thing you write.

What has given you the most joy? What has set you up for better days? Keep a tally of triumphs in mind, especially when you do have the bad days.

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The day doesn’t define you, and you still have things of value that surround you. These could be material things, spiritual connections and experiences, relationships, basic needs, emotional and mental well-being, physical health, progress towards hopes and dreams, or simply being alive.

Here are some other simple ways to practice gratitude.

2. Write in a Journal

Journaling affects your overall mental health, which also affects physical health and aids in the management of stress, depression, anxiety, and more[2].

All you need is a pen and paper, or you could do an online, password-protected journal such as Penzu. The key is to get started and not pressure yourself on how polished or perfect it is. You don’t need to have prior experience to start journal writing. Just start.

Write out everything that is bothering you for 15 minutes. This helps with rumination, processing problems, and can even aid with brainstorming solutions.

However you approach it, you can find patterns of thinking that no longer serve you and start to transform your overall mental state. This will impact all areas of your life and is a great coping skill.

3. Meditate

Meditation can help you overcome negative thought patterns, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, or struggling to overcome a bad day[3]. It shifts your mentality and helps you focus on the present or any one thing you truly want to focus on.

Here is an example of a meditation you can do:

Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Rest your body, release tension, and unclench your jaw. Tighten and release each muscle group in a body scan for progressive muscle relaxation.

Focus on your breath, taking a few deep breaths. Let your belly expand when you breathe in for diaphragmatic breathing. Empty yourself completely of air, then return to normal breathing.

Next, focus on the idea of self-love and let it erase negative thoughts. Think about the ways you’ve been judging yourself, with the narratives coming up that your mind may create.

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Give yourself unconditional love and release judgment. Take your time meditating on this because you matter. This is particularly important if you had a bad day.

Check out this article for more on how to get started with a meditation practice.

4. Do Child’s Pose

Yoga Outlet says:

“Child’s Pose is a simple way to calm your mind, slow your breath, and restore a feeling of peace and safety. Practicing the pose before bedtime can help to release the worries of the day. Practicing in the morning can you help transition from sleeping to waking.”[4]

When you do Child’s Pose, it can be between difficult positions in yoga, or it can be anytime you feel you need a rest. It helps you recover from difficulties and relax the mind.

It also has the physical health benefits of elongating your back, opening your hips, and helping with digestion[5].

To do Child’s Pose, rest your buttocks back on your feet, knees on the floor. Elongate your body over your knees with both arms extended or tucked back, with head and neck resting on the floor[6].

Had a bad day? Try Child's Pose.

     

    Do this pose as a gift to yourself. You are allowing yourself to heal, rest, get time for yourself, recover, and recharge. When you’ve had a bad day, it’s there waiting for you.

    5. Try Positive Self-Talk

    Engage in positive self-talk. This is essentially choosing your thoughts.

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    When you have a negative thought, such as “I can’t do this,” replace it consciously with the thought “I can do this.” Give yourself positive affirmations to help with this.

    Negative self-talk fits into four general categories: personalizing or blaming yourself, magnifying or only focusing on the negative, catastrophizing or expecting the worst to happen, and polarizing or only seeing back and white[7].

    When you stop blaming yourself for everything and start focusing on the positive, expecting things to work out, and seeing the areas of grey in life, you reverse these negative mindsets and engage in positive self-talk.

    When you speak words of kindness to yourself, your brain responds with a more positive attitude. That attitude will affect everything you do. It’s how you take care of yourself if you had a bad day.

    Check in with yourself to know when you are having negative self-talk. Are you seeing patterns? When did they start to become a problem? Are you able to turn these thoughts around?

    6. Use Coping Skills and Take a Break

    Use your coping skills. This means not letting your thoughts take control of yourself.

    You can distract yourself and escape a bit. Do things you love. You can exercise, listen to music, dance, volunteer or help someone, be in nature, or read a book.

    It isn’t about repression. It’s about redirection. You can’t stay in thoughts that are no longer working for you.

    Sometimes, it’s okay to get out of your own way. Give yourself a break from the things going on in your head. You can always come back to a problem later. This may even help you figure out the best course of action as sometimes stepping away is the only way to see the solution.

    If you had a bad day, you may not feel like addressing what went wrong. You may need a break, so take one.

    7. If a Bad Day Turns Into Bad Days

    “I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” –Jim Carrey

    If you’ve been feeling out of control, depressed, or unstable for more than a few weeks, it’s time to call a mental health professional. This is not because you have failed in any way. It’s because you are human, and you simply need help.

    You may not be able to quickly rebound from a bad day, and that’s fine. Feel what you feel, but don’t let it consume you.

    When you talk to a professional, share the techniques that you have already tried here and whether they were helpful. They may tell you additional ideas or gain insights from your struggles of not being able to rebound from a series of bad days.

    If you’re having more than just a bad day, they will want to know. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay, too. You just need to try these tools and figure out how you’re feeling. That’s all that’s required of you.

    Keep taking care of yourself. Any progress is progress, no matter how small. Give yourself a chance to get better by reaching out.

    Final Thoughts

    If you had a bad day, don’t let it stop you.

    Know this: It’s okay not to be okay. You have a right to feel what you feel. But there is something you can do about it.

    You can invest in yourself via self-care.

    You are not alone in this. Everyone has bad days from time to time. You just need to know that you are the positive things you tell yourself.

    More Things You Can Do If You Had a Bad Day

    Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

    Reference

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