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10 Reminders That Some People Are Happier with Less than What You Have

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10 Reminders That Some People Are Happier with Less than What You Have

Usually when we find ourselves struggling and going through difficult times, we tend to focus mainly on the negative sides of our own life. In order to become happy again, we have to shift the focus back and see all the great (and little) things that are going on around us. Sometimes it helps to realize that there are some people out there who are going through even more challenging times in their lives while having even more limitations, and yet, they find ways to live a life full of joy and happiness. Look around and find somebody who is happier with less than what you have and learn to appreciate all the little things again!

1. Someone is happy to be single.

Breakups are tough—we all know that! The feelings of losing a loved one is terrifying and a lot of people then start to worry about ever finding a great match ever again. The feeling of being single again sucks. Whenever you are worrying about being alone, and you just desperately feel like you need somebody else for a fulfilling life, it might be a sign to shift your focus again!

There are people out there who really enjoy being single! Just embrace the fact that you can use this time to “find yourself”. And although this might sound cheesy, take a moment and really evaluate that thought. You can go to new places and go for new experiences without worrying about anything or making compromises for a while.

A lot of people out there have never really been single for a long period in their life, and you should not miss out on this invaluable opportunity. These people have not invested enough time into themselves to even be able to live a healthy relationship  They do not know what makes THEM happy. How could you attract and be part of a great relationship when the relationship with yourself is not flourishing in the first place?

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Don’t go into a relationship with a half-empty glass. Use this time to go for crazy adventures and experiences. Live wild! Find out what excites you! Find what you love to do and THEN look for somebody to share it with!

2. Someone is suffering from a serious illness.

There are stories of people out there who suffer from serious illnesses and yet keep a happy face. It seems that in the face of death/illness you begin to reevaluate what is important in your life. You begin to be thankful for the things you DO have going for your life and you value human connection and bonding more again. Maybe you should also learn from these examples and appreciate the fact that there are people caring about you, wishing you only the best. In the end these are the most important things in life anyway.

3. Someone is not having all his limbs.

Nick Vujicic was born with no arms and no legs. Still he fully enjoys his life. He travels the world, publicly speaks to thousands of people and inspires endless amount of souls by giving them hope when they’ve lost it. Doesn’t his story alone put all your petty problems into perspective? Doesn’t this convince you how you can achieve more with even less? It does for me!

4. Someone is failing even bigger than you.

Steve Jobs got fired from his own company and fell into a severe depression right after that. If you think you have been failing big time, think about how it would feel to spend years of your life to build a huge number one company, and then see it taken away from you by the very same people whom you build it up with.

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Although this might sound sad and depressing you also have to think about what Steve Jobs said about this situation AFTERWARDS (see Steve Jobs’ 2005 Stanford Commencement Address at 6:00). He ended up really enjoying the new limitless environment he found himself in. He could start anew and be creative without boundaries again. From this “big failure,” great new projects came to life. In the time Steve Jobs got fired from Apple, he started a new computer company called NeXt and also created Pixar (Toy Story 1995)! And he even got rehired at Apple too. So I guess good things CAN come out of situation which might look helpless in the first place. Maybe your challenging situation is one of these too!

5. Someone lost more money than you have.

Walt Disney wasn’t always known for Mickey Mouse and happy places. Walt Disney once had a ill-performing film studio that sounded like a joke-telling telegram company. When the mogul first started out in the Hollywood/cartoon business, he was pretty terrible. Disney originally created the “Laugh-O-Gram” corporation in Kansas City, Missouri that was forced to file for bankruptcy after just two years due to investors pulling out of the company.

By the end, Disney himself was suffering because of the company so he to start anew in California. And Walt Disney is just one case of famous (and successful) people who lost a lot of money on their path to success. The key is that they kept going and you should too! 

6. Someone is making less money than you.

There will always be people making more money than you do. Period. But it is not about how much money you make; it is about how you use the money you have. There is a difference between having resources and being resourceful. You might think you need more money to feel happy about yourself, but I guess you are just not using the money you have effectively enough.

There are people out there making less money than you do and still manage to live a full and abundant lifestyle. There are endless possibilities out there, but oftentimes, we tend not to see them. Sometimes we simply need to shift our focus and look at the problem from another angle. Instead of owning a costly Ferrari (if you wish to do that), why not rent one for certain weekends?

Instead of trying to make more money to travel more, why don’t you cut down on your expenses and responsibilities, or even move to another country where the conditions are more in your favor? Oftentimes we forget that the things we think we need are more than often just self-made boundaries we put in our own way. It’s less about having and owning things, and more about experiencing and living life! Be creative and doors will open!

7. Someone is not working his dream job.

Happiness is not about working your dream job! It is about aligning your daily actions with the vision you have in your mind. There are a lot of people out there who work a “bad” job and still are proud and happy about it. They put in a lot of effort and even over-deliver and love everything about it. Because oftentimes, not only is WHAT you do important, but furthermore, HOW you do it, which determines your overall happiness. These people learned to love every step that is necessary to get them to their greater vision in mind.

If living their dream requires them to sit during their off-time in an office job for some months, these people are willing to do it and they even love to do it, because they know that it brings them closer where they want to be. They might learn new skills they can use in the future. Or they might even learn some spiritual lessons, like accepting their current life situation and not resisting it, so they can experience more inner peace. Or they just do it for the sake of doing it, so they can put a little bit of money away each month. The saved money will then allow them to take the leap in 1–2 years from now. Either way it serves a purpose!

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8. Someone has no idea who his parents are.

You might not like your parents from time to time. You don’t feel aligned with their world view or how they handle certain things. Sometimes, you may also wish they would just disappear.

But there are people out there who have no idea who their parents are. They grew up alone and without support, safety and guidance. So your parents telling you how you should live your life might be a curse for you, but somebody else would have loved to feel some kind of connection and parental support! They would have loved to be able to go to somebody and get some elderly advice.

Sometimes, parents tend to be a little bit too “protective” with their advice though. They want you to do what they think is best for you. But the cool thing is: you don’t have to. Just appreciate the fact that they try to do whatever they can to make you happy. Sometimes they cannot express it in a way that is helpful for you or even appropriate. Sometimes what they think is good for you might not match your idea of living a happy life. Just be thankful that they care about you, love them and then do your own thing!

9. Someone cannot afford going to school.

You might tell yourself that school sucks. But there are a lot of people out there who would LOVE to be able to get the education you are getting there. You might feel like it is a waste of time, but for a lot of people, it would be a blessing. You might feel like it is boring to learn new things, but some people might get a rush out of exploring new things and learning new stuff. Maybe you can awaken your inner explorer again and feel the happiness which comes from learning something new!

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10. Someone has no WIFI.

Be happy you got today’s WIFI password! Not everybody else has!:)

Featured photo credit: savannchan via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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