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10 Questions To Ask Yourself If You’re Looking For Your Life’s Purpose

10 Questions To Ask Yourself If You’re Looking For Your Life’s Purpose

It’s OK if you don’t know why you are here or what you are suppose to be doing with your life. It can take years to find our true calling but if you can’t wait that long, here are some questions to help you get on the path to finding your life’s purpose.

1. Am I doing what I love?

Asking this question should pertain to your life as a whole. Do I love my family, friends, and work? Am I doing things outside of my job that I love like drawing, writing, or any creative art?  If you are not doing what you love, look at why you haven’t been doing them and start incorporating them in your life.

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2. Am I surrounded by people that I care about?

It’s important when looking for purpose in your life, you look at the people around you. Your friends, family, co workers should all be people who support you in your quest to find real purpose. Not having those types of people around you could harm your progress in finding meaning. When I pursued writing, my friends and family played an important role in encouraging me to do it. Even if I didn’t think an article I wrote was good, they still knew it made me happy to write and that type of positive reinforcement does wonders.

3. Am I Happy With Where I Am?

Look at every aspect of your life. Ask if you are happy with what you have done. Are you going in the direction you want for your life. If not, what can you do to get there? It is hard not to compare our lives to our friends to measure success but try hard not to get caught up in what others have. The true measurement of happiness is are we doing what we want and happy with the journey that lies ahead.

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4. Is there more I can do?

You already know there is always more you can do. The real question lies in what can you do more of. Think of what you would want to contribute to society and what impact you want to have. There are tons of issues in our society that need people looking to make an impact. Think of what are some social issues that trigger you emotionally. Start there and find ways to get involved with organizations who focus on those social issues.

5. Do I feel satisfied?

Most of us attribute satisfaction with work or material possessions. If we don’t like our job, we are not satisfied. If we don’t have the things like a big house, nice cars, or wealth of money we are quick to call ourselves failures. What we need to do is take a real look at what we define as success for our own lives rather than what others call it.

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6. How do I want to be remembered?

This is something I think about often when it comes to looking at my life. I often ask when my time has come, what will people remember of me? It may seem a little extreme but it puts things into perspective.

7. What makes me happy?

If you don’ t know what makes you happy, that’s ok. A good way to start is asking yourself what makes you miserable. We know what we don’t like doing so identifying these things now is a great start to working towards the things that do make you happy.

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8. How do I look at today?

When you wake up in the morning, how do you approach the day? Your view on today affects your outlook on life. If you think negatively first thing in the morning, you will have no sense of optimism. Changing your perception will help guide you in finding purpose in your life. Ask what do I want to do today and put it into action.

9. Can I have an impact?

You can always have an impact if you choose to do so. But what you choose to do is a different story. You don’t have to be a visionary who creates a game changing product or a spiritual guru. Sometimes, the real measure of impact is the effect you have on a single person’s life.

10. What am I waiting for?

Well, what are you waiting for?

Featured photo credit: wantalifecoach.com via wantalifecoach.com

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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