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10 Inspiring Quotes That Lead You To A Long And Happy Marriage

10 Inspiring Quotes That Lead You To A Long And Happy Marriage

Did the love of your life just propose? Maybe you’ve just recently said “I do,” or you’ve been hitched for a few years now. With the divorce rates high and stable in the United States, most married couples want to know how to make their marriage last and remain a happy one “until death do us part.”

Ask happily married couples what their secrets are and the success factors boil down to a few key areas: communication, respect, gratitude, acceptance, trust, and friendship.

Check out these 10 inspiring quotes and see if you see your marriage inside them:

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“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate” – Barnett Bruckner

The secret to finding your true everlasting love is to become the love you seek. If you want someone to love, honor, and appreciate you then you must learn to love, honor and appreciate yourself first. Why? Because we teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Become the love of your life and the love of your life will find you.

“If most of your arguments start softly, your marriage is likely to be stable and happy” – John Gottman

Rather than bark at or attack the love your life when disagreements happen, begin with saying a few things you appreciate about your love. Keep the middle of your conversation focused on the one issue or disagreement and end with something kind. You are far more likely to achieve a successful outcome, even if you simply agree to disagree, than if you assault your partner with ugly words.

“Every love story is beautiful but ours is my favorite” – Unknown

Comparison truly is the thief of joy and when couples begin to compare their marriage or love story with that of others or those portrayed by Hollywood, that may leave one half of the couple feeling like their missing out. Remember, the grass is always greener when you water your own. Nurture, grow, and celebrate your own love story.

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“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Hold hands. Whisper in each others ears. Play. Make time for each other. Be interesting and be interested. The courtship and the friendship that originally brought you together doesn’t have to end after you say “I do.’ Life’s ups and downs are easier to navigate when you know that you’re meeting it head on with your best friend.

“Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side” – Zig Ziglar

When you said “I do,” you joined forces, clasped hands, and walked down the aisle together as a united couple. When the outside world of kids, money, in-laws, outlaws, work, and home ownership tries to burst your love bubble and tear the two of you apart, remember, you’re on the same side.

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” – Winnie the Pooh

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways! Be grateful. Begin each day with gratitude. The more gratitude your heart holds, the less negativity and criticism it will harbor. You’ll be less likely to be snarky when you get home from work or crabby when your honey unintentionally hurts your feelings.

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“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”  – Dalai Lama

Your happiness is your responsibility. Your partner’s happiness is your partner’s responsibility. Make no mistake here – the love of your life is not responsible for your happiness. He’s more like BASF. Think of your sweetie as a happiness mood enhancer.

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” Judy Garland

Every day, for the next 30 days, practice the art of the 30 second kiss. That’s right, take your sweetie in your arms and pucker up. Kissing reduces anxiety and stops the static and chatter in your mind. It increases the levels of oxytocin, an extremely calming hormone that produces a feeling of peace. And don’t forget to hug the love of your life as well. Hugging really does make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. It reduces stress and tension and provides an overall sense of calmness.

“You are one with your husband until you believe the thought that he should look a certain way, he should give you something, he should be something other than what he is.” Byron Katie

To remain one with your partner allow him to be who he is. To believe the thought that the one you love should change to suit your expectations is an illusion. When we allow each other to be who we are without jealousy, envy, or anger the marriage relationship reaps the rewards of trust, appreciation, and love.

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“But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” – Kahlil Gibran

Understand where your partner ends and you begin. You are a whole person not someone’s better half. You are not the missing puzzle piece to someone else’s life. Pursue your passions and dreams and allow the love of your life to do the same. Your marriage will flourish under the guardianship of two whole people who joined together to become an unparalleled force.

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Last Updated on October 14, 2020

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Had a Bad Day? 7 Ways to Rebound From It and Feel Good Again

Today didn’t turn out as you planned, but it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It simply means that you’re human, and you’re not bad just because you had a bad day.

“Not everyday is a good day but there is something good in every day.” -Alice Morse Earle

It’s not the end of the world when you find yourself thinking “I had a bad day,” but it can feel like it. You may have had plans that fell apart, experiences that set you back, and interactions that only did harm.

You may have started the day thinking you could take on it all, only to find you could hardly get out of bed. When you have a bad day, you can forget to look at the good.

Sometimes, self-care helps us to remember why we are worth it. It helps us to recharge and reset our mindset. It helps us to know that there are still options and that the day isn’t over yet.

Love yourself today, no matter how hard it’s been. That’s the way to find yourself amidst the hardships you have. That’s how you center yourself and regain focus and live a more meaningful life. Give yourself some credit and compassion.

Here are 7 ways to rebound from a bad day using self-compassion as a tool. If you had a bad day, these are for you!

1. Make a Gratitude List

In a study on gratitude, psychologists Dr. Robert A Emmons and Dr. Michael E. McCullough conducted an experiment where one group of people wrote out gratitude lists for ten weeks while another group wrote about irritations. The study found that the group that wrote about gratitude reported more optimistic mindsets in their lives[1].

Overall, having a gratitude list improved well-being and made one truly grateful by counting the blessings in their lives.

Write a list of what you are grateful for if you had a bad day. Make it as long as you like, but also remember to note why you’re grateful for each thing you write.

What has given you the most joy? What has set you up for better days? Keep a tally of triumphs in mind, especially when you do have the bad days.

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The day doesn’t define you, and you still have things of value that surround you. These could be material things, spiritual connections and experiences, relationships, basic needs, emotional and mental well-being, physical health, progress towards hopes and dreams, or simply being alive.

Here are some other simple ways to practice gratitude.

2. Write in a Journal

Journaling affects your overall mental health, which also affects physical health and aids in the management of stress, depression, anxiety, and more[2].

All you need is a pen and paper, or you could do an online, password-protected journal such as Penzu. The key is to get started and not pressure yourself on how polished or perfect it is. You don’t need to have prior experience to start journal writing. Just start.

Write out everything that is bothering you for 15 minutes. This helps with rumination, processing problems, and can even aid with brainstorming solutions.

However you approach it, you can find patterns of thinking that no longer serve you and start to transform your overall mental state. This will impact all areas of your life and is a great coping skill.

3. Meditate

Meditation can help you overcome negative thought patterns, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past, or struggling to overcome a bad day[3]. It shifts your mentality and helps you focus on the present or any one thing you truly want to focus on.

Here is an example of a meditation you can do:

Get into a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Rest your body, release tension, and unclench your jaw. Tighten and release each muscle group in a body scan for progressive muscle relaxation.

Focus on your breath, taking a few deep breaths. Let your belly expand when you breathe in for diaphragmatic breathing. Empty yourself completely of air, then return to normal breathing.

Next, focus on the idea of self-love and let it erase negative thoughts. Think about the ways you’ve been judging yourself, with the narratives coming up that your mind may create.

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Give yourself unconditional love and release judgment. Take your time meditating on this because you matter. This is particularly important if you had a bad day.

Check out this article for more on how to get started with a meditation practice.

4. Do Child’s Pose

Yoga Outlet says:

“Child’s Pose is a simple way to calm your mind, slow your breath, and restore a feeling of peace and safety. Practicing the pose before bedtime can help to release the worries of the day. Practicing in the morning can you help transition from sleeping to waking.”[4]

When you do Child’s Pose, it can be between difficult positions in yoga, or it can be anytime you feel you need a rest. It helps you recover from difficulties and relax the mind.

It also has the physical health benefits of elongating your back, opening your hips, and helping with digestion[5].

To do Child’s Pose, rest your buttocks back on your feet, knees on the floor. Elongate your body over your knees with both arms extended or tucked back, with head and neck resting on the floor[6].

Had a bad day? Try Child's Pose.

     

    Do this pose as a gift to yourself. You are allowing yourself to heal, rest, get time for yourself, recover, and recharge. When you’ve had a bad day, it’s there waiting for you.

    5. Try Positive Self-Talk

    Engage in positive self-talk. This is essentially choosing your thoughts.

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    When you have a negative thought, such as “I can’t do this,” replace it consciously with the thought “I can do this.” Give yourself positive affirmations to help with this.

    Negative self-talk fits into four general categories: personalizing or blaming yourself, magnifying or only focusing on the negative, catastrophizing or expecting the worst to happen, and polarizing or only seeing back and white[7].

    When you stop blaming yourself for everything and start focusing on the positive, expecting things to work out, and seeing the areas of grey in life, you reverse these negative mindsets and engage in positive self-talk.

    When you speak words of kindness to yourself, your brain responds with a more positive attitude. That attitude will affect everything you do. It’s how you take care of yourself if you had a bad day.

    Check in with yourself to know when you are having negative self-talk. Are you seeing patterns? When did they start to become a problem? Are you able to turn these thoughts around?

    6. Use Coping Skills and Take a Break

    Use your coping skills. This means not letting your thoughts take control of yourself.

    You can distract yourself and escape a bit. Do things you love. You can exercise, listen to music, dance, volunteer or help someone, be in nature, or read a book.

    It isn’t about repression. It’s about redirection. You can’t stay in thoughts that are no longer working for you.

    Sometimes, it’s okay to get out of your own way. Give yourself a break from the things going on in your head. You can always come back to a problem later. This may even help you figure out the best course of action as sometimes stepping away is the only way to see the solution.

    If you had a bad day, you may not feel like addressing what went wrong. You may need a break, so take one.

    7. If a Bad Day Turns Into Bad Days

    “I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, get enough sleep, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” –Jim Carrey

    If you’ve been feeling out of control, depressed, or unstable for more than a few weeks, it’s time to call a mental health professional. This is not because you have failed in any way. It’s because you are human, and you simply need help.

    You may not be able to quickly rebound from a bad day, and that’s fine. Feel what you feel, but don’t let it consume you.

    When you talk to a professional, share the techniques that you have already tried here and whether they were helpful. They may tell you additional ideas or gain insights from your struggles of not being able to rebound from a series of bad days.

    If you’re having more than just a bad day, they will want to know. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay, too. You just need to try these tools and figure out how you’re feeling. That’s all that’s required of you.

    Keep taking care of yourself. Any progress is progress, no matter how small. Give yourself a chance to get better by reaching out.

    Final Thoughts

    If you had a bad day, don’t let it stop you.

    Know this: It’s okay not to be okay. You have a right to feel what you feel. But there is something you can do about it.

    You can invest in yourself via self-care.

    You are not alone in this. Everyone has bad days from time to time. You just need to know that you are the positive things you tell yourself.

    More Things You Can Do If You Had a Bad Day

    Featured photo credit: Anthony Tran via unsplash.com

    Reference

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