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10 Beliefs You Need For Personal Excellence

10 Beliefs You Need For Personal Excellence

Your potential is limitless. As you move towards becoming the best person you can be, you have the opportunity to experience amazing adventures and personally evolve in the process. In striving towards personal excellence, your core beliefs are of the utmost importance.

Here are ten beliefs that will propel you towards the excellence you desire:

1. There are no mistakes in life.

There are only experiences. There is value behind every choice you make, even if the outcome turns out differently than you had hoped. Although it isn’t always easy to understand the meaning behind every “bad” decision, you gain wisdom in experiencing challenges.

Be thankful for your missteps. They are your greatest teachers.

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2. I am responsible for my present situation.

By blaming other people or circumstances for your present state, you fail to realize you are the one responsible for creating your own life. Don’t give your power away by maintaining the belief that you have no control over your future. You do! If you don’t have one already, begin cultivating an internal locus of control by being accountable for everything that happens in your life.

3. I will never stop learning.

The world is changing fast. To keep up with it you must be committed to continuing your education on a daily basis through reading, studying and interacting with others. Being dedicated to learning doesn’t necessarily mean you have to open up a textbook every day. It can be as simple as talking to a stranger and being receptive to the lessons that person might have to teach you.

4. I only need to be focused on the action I am taking in this moment.

In the pursuit of personal excellence, sometimes we set “big” goals for ourselves. In setting these benchmarks, it is easy to get overwhelmed. Consider this: to climb a mountain, you only need to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.

Your goals will become more attainable when you break down the steps you need to take, then focus on completing each of them, one at a time.

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5. It is OK to ask for support.

You aren’t on your journey alone. Allow the people who want your continued success to lend a hand, but also give someone you don’t know (but whom you admire) the opportunity to share their knowledge with you. Also remember that because of our global interconnectedness, many of the resources you seek will readily appear with the push of a few buttons.

Asking for support demonstrates courage and openness.

6. I am dedicated to pushing myself beyond my existing boundaries.

To become a better version of yourself, you will have to take calculated risks. If you aren’t challenging yourself, you aren’t growing. In evaluating whether a chance is worth taking, consider whether your action has the potential to power you to a new personal high in your life.

Then…close your eyes, plug your nose and jump off that cliff.

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7. I am willing to adapt to changing circumstances.

Life can be a wild ride. Sometimes we don’t know what is waiting for us around the corner. The ability to recalibrate after something unexpected happens will not only expand your capabilities, but it will guarantee your sustained existence in an ever-changing world.

8. All knowledge I acquire has the potential to serve me.

Whether you are aware of it or not, you are constantly absorbing information from the world around you. Even those things you aren’t cognizant of (or don’t understand) have the potential to help you in your search for personal excellence. Some portion of this subconscious knowledge will likely surface as a future answer to a burning question or problem.

Because of this, never discount any person or experience as worthless; that person or thing will someday serve you in a way you don’t expect.

9. I give myself permission to say no.

You can’t give to others if your personal gas tank is empty. To keep your tank full, stay in optimum performance condition by maintaining emotional, physical, mental and spiritual balance in your life. Sometimes this means saying no to others and saying yes to yourself.

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10. By authentically expressing myself, I bring my unique signature to every person and thing I touch.

Stop allowing your mind to censor your heart’s desires, and live your passion. Take pride in your every strength and fault. Have full confidence in your gifts without comparing yourself to others. Nobody is more excellent at being you than you.

Remember, the road to personal excellence never ends. As long as you are breathing, you will always be working towards realizing a newer, better version of yourself. Don’t get caught up in thinking you will be “complete” once you attain one goal or another.

The achievement will be in your constant advancement. Your real joy will be in the journey.

Featured photo credit: Young Businessman With Red Car Climbs the Rocks via Bigstock Photos

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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