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Published on July 20, 2020

10 Things to Remember When You Feel Like Your Life Is Over

10 Things to Remember When You Feel Like Your Life Is Over

Have you ever experienced one of those crisis moments in life when you say to yourself, “My life is over”?

You feel helpless and hopeless, like the world is against you, and you wonder what you have done to deserve it.

I think the first time I felt this way was when I was 16 years old, and my first love dumped me for someone else. Over 40 years later, I can see that what I experienced then was pretty minor compared to the many life challenges since, but at the time, it felt like the end of the world.

Whether it’s when your first love dumps you for some else, or it’s a much deeper crisis point, like the death of a loved one or your kids leaving home, it can sometimes feel like there is nothing left to live for.

Certainly, losing a dream job or business you have been working your whole life for can feel devastating. And I know there are many people going through that experience right now during our global economic downturn.

There is good news in this, though.

It’s often times like these that we begin to reevaluate who we are, what’s important, and what we really want. We evolve and become stronger, more resilient, and more determined than before. Life often takes on new meaning, and we find another direction with increased fulfilment.

These musings and reflections tend to take place after the initial shock, though, and it’s easy to get stuck wallowing in those early negative and sad feelings. Without awareness, this can go on for an extended time after the event.

Over the years, I have gathered together a tool kit of insights that I pull out at times when I feel like giving up. It has helped me move on from feelings of despair, instead feeling a sense of hopefulness that things will work out for the better.

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If you are having one those “my life is over” moments, then check out my toolbox of reminders to help you get through each day. You may find something to help you, too.

1. Everything in Life Eventually Passes

Sometimes when we are stuck in those challenging moments, we forget that everything eventually does pass, even the more difficult stuff. Nothing is ever stationary because life is in constant flow.

Think for a moment about the seasons; they are never stagnant. It seems like those first blossoms of spring evolve into fruit in no time at all. This is because everything is always progressing. This means that what you are experiencing right now, even your emotions, will change in time.

2. There Is Good in Your Life

Those moments when we feel like life is over happen because we are overthinking the things that we don’t want. As we give more of our attention to obstacles in life, we can feel a sense of loss and hopelessness.

When we make an effort to notice the good, it helps us feel better. We begin to notice more of our blessings. As we continue to do this, it lifts our emotional state and energetic frequency. This allows the changes we want to manifest.

3. Nature Offers Peace

There is a reason we feel more at peace in nature, and that’s because the energy is pure and high-frequency. This therapeutic practice has been called forest bathing[1].

When we regularly spend time in nature and allow ourselves to be fully present with our surroundings, it raises our energetic frequency.

Forest bathing is said to have numerous health benefits. Some of those are that it helps us release stress, anxiety, and depression. It has healing effects, plus it lifts our energy to the vibration of manifestation.

This means you will not only feel so much better, but you will also create a different experience.

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4. You Are the Writer of Your Life Story

Telling yourself your life is over brings with it feelings of helplessness because you are not looking for the things you can change.

We are each the writer of our own life story, even when things happen that we have no control over, because we always have control over how we respond.

You may not be able to change what has happened, but you can change your story from this point onwards. It is important to acknowledge your feelings in any situation, but don’t make this your story.

Decide what you want, and focus on writing your next chapter.

5. A Diamond Is Formed Through Intense Pressure

I know this is a much-quoted metaphor, but it is used a lot because it is true. It’s the same process when a flower begins as a bulb. It fights its way up through layers of soil to eventually produce the most spectacular bloom.

The more pressure you are feeling right now, the greater the beauty it can lead you to experience. Think of yourself like a diamond. Know that the intensity you feel is an indication of the sparkle of life to come.

6. When One Chapter Ends, Another Begins

It’s a horrible feeling when a door just slams in your face. When it’s something you have wanted badly, it really can feel like life is over.

Really, it is over in a way as life as you used to know it has come to an end. However, the good thing about this is that, for anything new to begin, there is something that must end. If you continue to focus on the chapter that is over, you could miss the one that is about to begin.

When you take your attention from the closed door and look out for those openings, you will feel heaps better.

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7. Every Day Is a New Beginning

During any crisis point in life, we have those days that feel so much worse than others. Nothing seems to go right, and it seems like wherever we turn, we’re reminded of what we want to forget.

We will always have the good and the not so good; it is the natural process of life. For there to be light, there must be dark. Otherwise, the light would cease to exist. This means if we want the good days, then we need to accept the not so good, too.

When you feel those darker moments, remind yourself that tomorrow is another day. Things can always change for the better.

8. It’s Not Personal

There are many things that happen throughout life that are related to us directly, so you may think that you have to take everything personally. But that kind of thinking can send you into a negativity loop.

If you hear yourself say, “Why does this always happen to me?” I guarantee you are taking it personally in a way that will keep you stuck. This is because the word “always” implies that you never experience anything better. This means you will continue to look for similar situations.

Instead, remind yourself of times when you have enjoyed more fruitful circumstances and choose to look for more of those.

9. Forgiveness Will Help You Heal

Forgiveness is often seen as letting someone off the hook. By remaining resentful, we think we’re punishing others for their wrong doing.

In fact, we punish ourselves because this only brings us more personal pain.

Nelson Mandela said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then waiting for it to kill your enemy”[2]. He had a lot that he could have felt resentful about, but he knew the power of forgiveness.

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When you forgive another person, it doesn’t mean what they did was okay. Forgiveness is a space that you reach within yourself to help you let go.

As you allow yourself to do this, you free yourself from your own hook as forgiveness brings you personal peace.

10. Challenges Are Gifts

Yes, it is true, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. It’s often much later after the crisis has passed that we notice the gift. However, knowing there has to be a precious jewel in the pain can often help us bear the harder moments.

Some of my greatest life challenges, including losing my parents, losing my home, and going through divorce led me to where I am now. I can see the growth and changes in direction I made because of them. It’s these changes that have created the beautiful life I live now.

This insight probably helps me the most whenever a new challenge presents itself. It helps me trust in the process of life.

Always remind yourself that, however miserable your current circumstances are, there is a gift in it. You will notice it when you are ready. Trust that all is unfolding with perfect timing.

Final Thoughts

Those feelings of helplessness and hopelessness will begin to dissipate in time. You have done nothing to deserve what you are feeling, and your life isn’t over; it is really just beginning.

Start the reflection process.

It’s easy to think about what we don’t want when in pain, but we rarely think about what we want instead. We extend our negative feelings by holding onto that which has already passed, and thinking we never want to feel like this again just makes us feel it more.

Begin to move your attention forward. Decide what’s important to you and what you really want from life now. Decide how you want to feel. It will change your life.

More Tips to Get Through Tough Times

Featured photo credit: Analise Benevides via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Deb Johnstone

Deb is a professional mindset speaker and a transformational life, business and career coach. Specialising in NLP and dynamic mindset.

9 Powerful Steps to Achieve Career Advancement 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Like Your Life Is Over How to Write a Good SMART Goal Statement How to Make a Plan And Reach Your Goals in Life How to Survive a Quarter Life Crisis (The Complete Guide)

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Last Updated on August 7, 2020

40 Acts of Kindness to Make the World a Better Place

40 Acts of Kindness to Make the World a Better Place

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” — Jane Goodall

So, you want to change the world? Who says you can’t?

You’ve had the power this whole time. You just have to tap into it and embrace the ways you make changes.

You can start small or go big. The important thing is that you try. Even in little ways, we can change the world. It’s up to you to show up and make that difference.

Here are 40 acts of kindness to make the world a better place.

1. Give a Compliment

Tell someone that you care about them by complimenting them. It can be a big compliment or a small one. The point is that you share what good you see in them. That will help them develop confidence and a stronger sense of self.

2. Volunteer

There’re many reasons why doing voluntary work is good for you. Find a good cause you care about and give your time to it. Serve in some way. Volunteering transforms your hard work into other people’s happiness. This is one of the most common acts of kindness that you can do.

3. Contribute to a Charity

Similarly, charities also contribute to other people’s happiness even with minimal effort from you. If you can’t serve a charity or nonprofit, you can give financially or even raise money with a fundraiser. Volunteering and contributing to charity are acts of kindness that require sacrifice but are definitely worth it.

4. Visit Someone

People may know you care but are you present with them? It’s best to give your time to those you care about and show them that they matter to you. Go and visit them while you can. This simple act of kindness can go a long way.

5. Listen

When someone talks, are you really listening? A person will feel like you are listening if you actively respond and can repeat back what they’ve said, asking questions to further probe their problems. Regardless if you’re actively or passively listening, listening has positive effects on others, which is a step towards making the world a better place.

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6. Show Empathy

Show empathy – feel what someone else is feeling. Put yourself in their place. They may need that, and this shows that you understand what they are going through, which can help make them feel better. Showing empathy is one of the simplest yet best ways acts of kindness can manifest.

7. Point out the Positive for Someone

Not everyone can see the positive side of things, especially if they are going through very rough times. It may make their day though if you show it to them. Then, they can enjoy it, too.

8. Help Someone With Something

Do you have some skills to offer? Do you have the ability to help out? It doesn’t matter how you can help, just find some way to be of use to someone. You never know how doing so might find its way back to you. Ask how you may be of help, and it just might make someone’s day a lot better.

9. Give Input or Advice

Someone may benefit from what you know. You may have the experience that they don’t have. When you give input about something using your expertise (whether a little or a lot), you are more appreciated for doing so. Valid criticisms and feedback are always welcome, and they may even help others improve their situation.

10. Lead Others

You may now know it, but people may be looking to you as an example of what to do. You can lead them from point A to point B, maybe because you’ve gotten there yourself or because they trust you. Regardless, leading others is one of the best acts of kindness that you can do for others.

11. Promote Someone

Show off someone’s skills and their value. This will make them feel good enough as well as touched by this act of kindness. Promoting someone not only benefits them economically or financially, but it also helps them mentally and emotionally, knowing that you believe in them.

12. Solve a Problem for Someone

You don’t have to have all the answers. But if you have solved a problem for someone, they will look at you as if you do. That’s rewarding in and of itself.

13. Tell Someone That They Matter

People don’t always know their worth. Some people don’t recognize that they and what they do matter to others. If you tell them that they are worthwhile, they will feel better and be able to do better. They will look to you for strength at first, then to themselves.

14. Teach Someone a New Skill

You don’t have to be a teacher to share your knowledge. If you teach someone a new skill, they will spread the knowledge and your influence may extend to more people. This is a simple yet effective act of kindness that can help improve the world.

15. Plant a Tree, Clean up Trash, Recycle, Get Educated

Even in simple ways, taking care of the environment is important in making the world a better place. You must care about nature and its value. We are connected to nature, and nature is a big part of our world.

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16. Start a New Initiative Toward Social Good

You may not be the only one interested in an idea, but you may be the first to act on it. Lead others towards this initiative and see the goodness spread. Any initiative that benefits society will benefit the whole world.

17. Analyze if Products Are Ethical

In the current consumer culture, we often want instant gratification. But that’s not always safe or effective. We must look into the ethical practices behind the products we consume. Our consumption should be consistent with what we stand for, and we should spread the message to gain greater awareness of the right kind of products.

18. Ask Questions

This is called being considerate. When you ask someone a question, you are showing interest in and building their confidence to talk about themselves.

19. Make a New Friend

We can’t have a list of acts of kindness without including this one. Everyone needs friends. We must hold onto each other not hurt each other. Having friends means we’re no longer alone. You can share more and do more when you have a friend.

20. Positive Reinforcement

Rather than just criticizing someone for what they did wrong, praise and reward good behavior, too. This is especially useful when dealing with kids or in the workplace. Learn the benefits of positive reinforcement: Positive and Negative Reinforcement: Which Is More Effective?

21. Be Honest

This may just be a simple act of kindness, but people will feel respected if you are honest with them. It may not solve everything, but it helps them know you are trustworthy and that you care about them.

22. Give Your Time

Giving your time to help others shows them that you will be there for them no matter what. Your time is the most valuable thing that you can give, and this can encourage them to give their time to others as well.

23. Be Accountable

If you make a mistake, that’s okay. No one is perfect; everyone makes mistakes. But be accountable and try to make things better. This will let others know that they can rely on you.

24. Learn

Learn from someone. Listen to someone’s story, learn how someone does something, and be teachable. We can’t learn everything, so there will always be something new for us to learn.

25. Love

Love makes the world go round. Love is the ultimate manifestation of kindness. And when you love someone, let them know it. Let them feel that you are in their life for the right reasons and that you want to be there for them.

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26. Stand for Something

Society has many problems, and there are many causes to choose from. Find something you are passionate about such as a social justice issue, environment, animals, etc. The list goes on. What’s important is that you show conviction toward a good cause.

27. Write a Note of Encouragement

A nice note can turn someone’s day around. As long as what you wrote is from the heart, the recipient will feel that it is and will feel better than before.

28. Say “Thank you”

Saying “thank you” is often taken for granted. Such an act of kindness is often overlooked, but it’s still as important as before. Saying “thank you” is how you can make some feel appreciated and supported.

Here’re 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life.

29. Heal Someone

If you can heal someone, you can make the world a better place. You can heal them emotionally, physically, or spiritually and if you heal them, they will never forget it. You will feel healed in your heart, too.

30. Be an Advocate

Stand up for someone or something. Sometimes, it’s not easy to do the right thing, but if you want to show that you care, you have to put a stop to any form of injustice. You may be the only one to take that stand. Know that it matters.

31. Raise Someone

Raising a human being is just one contribution that you can make in the world. This may be more complicated than the other acts of kindness, but it’s just as impactful. You can leave a legacy on the person who grows up under your care.

32. Embrace Community

“No man is an island.” It’s a common saying but it speaks the truth. We are meant to be social beings in need of each other. That is why we have communities. You can help a community flourish through what you bring to the table.

33. Hold Space for Someone

This means having no judgment. It is unconditional care and support without trying to solve someone else’s problems. It may be kinder than talking over them or taking over. Let them be, and let them know you’re there.

34. Forgive

Grudges hold us back. Second chances give us more life. It’s not just for them, it’s for us. When the situation is appropriate, be the bigger person and you will have a better life. Forgiveness may not come easy, but you’ll find that it transforms everything it touches.

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Learn How to Forgive and Live a Happy Life Again (A Step-By-Step Guide).

35. Give a Gift

If you give a gift, someone will have something that makes them think of you. They also learn that they are deserving of kindness, and they may feel good about themselves.

36. Keep Your Promises

People look to you for consistency. They want to know that they can count on you. Show them they can by keeping your promises.

37. Just Be Nice

Other acts of kindness require more effort, but you can just be nice and this will contribute to having a better world. The important thing is to always be aware of your words and actions.

38. Make Others a Priority

When was the last time you checked in with someone else and their wellbeing? How high up the list do you put them? Make them a priority and show them that they are being heard.

39. Meet Someone Where They’re at

You may not understand someone’s point of view or see a lack of experience compared to your own. But you can still meet them where they are and how they are still important to you. Find ways to use this to teach them how to be better. Find grace, patience, and understanding.

40. Save a Life

If someone’s in need and you answer the call, that simple act can change everything. Sometimes, the little things we do can already save or change the lives of others. Make the world a better place by saving those within it. This is the greatest thing you can do with all your talents, money, and time.

Final Thoughts

Can you think of more ways to make the world a better place? Then do it. Invite others to do it with you, too. This will change the world, but it will also change you. You will become happier and healthier to have done so.

Use this list anytime you need a good idea or a simple reminder of what you can do. No matter what you do, you are a hero. How you live is your legacy.

Featured photo credit: Andrea Tummons via unsplash.com

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