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Last Updated on December 1, 2020

10 Things to Remember When You Feel Like Your Life Is Over

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10 Things to Remember When You Feel Like Your Life Is Over

Have you ever experienced one of those crisis moments in life when you say to yourself, “My life is over”?

You feel helpless and hopeless, like the world is against you, and you wonder what you have done to deserve it.

I think the first time I felt this way was when I was 16 years old, and my first love dumped me for someone else. Over 40 years later, I can see that what I experienced then was pretty minor compared to the many life challenges since, but at the time, it felt like the end of the world.

Whether it’s when your first love dumps you for some else, or it’s a much deeper crisis point, like the death of a loved one or your kids leaving home, it can sometimes feel like there is nothing left to live for.

Certainly, losing a dream job or business you have been working your whole life for can feel devastating. And I know there are many people going through that experience right now during our global economic downturn.

There is good news in this, though.

It’s often times like these that we begin to reevaluate who we are, what’s important, and what we really want. We evolve and become stronger, more resilient, and more determined than before. Life often takes on new meaning, and we find another direction with increased fulfilment.

These musings and reflections tend to take place after the initial shock, though, and it’s easy to get stuck wallowing in those early negative and sad feelings. Without awareness, this can go on for an extended time after the event.

Over the years, I have gathered together a tool kit of insights that I pull out at times when I feel like giving up. It has helped me move on from feelings of despair, instead feeling a sense of hopefulness that things will work out for the better.

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If you are having one those “my life is over” moments, then check out my toolbox of reminders to help you get through each day. You may find something to help you, too.

1. Everything in Life Eventually Passes

Sometimes when we are stuck in those challenging moments, we forget that everything eventually does pass, even the more difficult stuff. Nothing is ever stationary because life is in constant flow.

Think for a moment about the seasons; they are never stagnant. It seems like those first blossoms of spring evolve into fruit in no time at all. This is because everything is always progressing. This means that what you are experiencing right now, even your emotions, will change in time.

2. There Is Good in Your Life

Those moments when we feel like life is over happen because we are overthinking the things that we don’t want. As we give more of our attention to obstacles in life, we can feel a sense of loss and hopelessness.

When we make an effort to notice the good, it helps us feel better. We begin to notice more of our blessings. As we continue to do this, it lifts our emotional state and energetic frequency. This allows the changes we want to manifest.

3. Nature Offers Peace

There is a reason we feel more at peace in nature, and that’s because the energy is pure and high-frequency. This therapeutic practice has been called forest bathing[1].

When we regularly spend time in nature and allow ourselves to be fully present with our surroundings, it raises our energetic frequency.

Forest bathing is said to have numerous health benefits. Some of those are that it helps us release stress, anxiety, and depression. It has healing effects, plus it lifts our energy to the vibration of manifestation.

This means you will not only feel so much better, but you will also create a different experience.

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4. You Are the Writer of Your Life Story

Telling yourself your life is over brings with it feelings of helplessness because you are not looking for the things you can change.

We are each the writer of our own life story, even when things happen that we have no control over, because we always have control over how we respond.

You may not be able to change what has happened, but you can change your story from this point onwards. It is important to acknowledge your feelings in any situation, but don’t make this your story.

Decide what you want, and focus on writing your next chapter.

5. A Diamond Is Formed Through Intense Pressure

I know this is a much-quoted metaphor, but it is used a lot because it is true. It’s the same process when a flower begins as a bulb. It fights its way up through layers of soil to eventually produce the most spectacular bloom.

The more pressure you are feeling right now, the greater the beauty it can lead you to experience. Think of yourself like a diamond. Know that the intensity you feel is an indication of the sparkle of life to come.

6. When One Chapter Ends, Another Begins

It’s a horrible feeling when a door just slams in your face. When it’s something you have wanted badly, it really can feel like life is over.

Really, it is over in a way as life as you used to know it has come to an end. However, the good thing about this is that, for anything new to begin, there is something that must end. If you continue to focus on the chapter that is over, you could miss the one that is about to begin.

When you take your attention from the closed door and look out for those openings, you will feel heaps better.

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7. Every Day Is a New Beginning

During any crisis point in life, we have those days that feel so much worse than others. Nothing seems to go right, and it seems like wherever we turn, we’re reminded of what we want to forget.

We will always have the good and the not so good; it is the natural process of life. For there to be light, there must be dark. Otherwise, the light would cease to exist. This means if we want the good days, then we need to accept the not so good, too.

When you feel those darker moments, remind yourself that tomorrow is another day. Things can always change for the better.

8. It’s Not Personal

There are many things that happen throughout life that are related to us directly, so you may think that you have to take everything personally. But that kind of thinking can send you into a negativity loop.

If you hear yourself say, “Why does this always happen to me?” I guarantee you are taking it personally in a way that will keep you stuck. This is because the word “always” implies that you never experience anything better. This means you will continue to look for similar situations.

Instead, remind yourself of times when you have enjoyed more fruitful circumstances and choose to look for more of those.

9. Forgiveness Will Help You Heal

Forgiveness is often seen as letting someone off the hook. By remaining resentful, we think we’re punishing others for their wrong doing.

In fact, we punish ourselves because this only brings us more personal pain.

Nelson Mandela said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then waiting for it to kill your enemy”[2]. He had a lot that he could have felt resentful about, but he knew the power of forgiveness.

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When you forgive another person, it doesn’t mean what they did was okay. Forgiveness is a space that you reach within yourself to help you let go.

As you allow yourself to do this, you free yourself from your own hook as forgiveness brings you personal peace.

10. Challenges Are Gifts

Yes, it is true, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. It’s often much later after the crisis has passed that we notice the gift. However, knowing there has to be a precious jewel in the pain can often help us bear the harder moments.

Some of my greatest life challenges, including losing my parents, losing my home, and going through divorce led me to where I am now. I can see the growth and changes in direction I made because of them. It’s these changes that have created the beautiful life I live now.

This insight probably helps me the most whenever a new challenge presents itself. It helps me trust in the process of life.

Always remind yourself that, however miserable your current circumstances are, there is a gift in it. You will notice it when you are ready. Trust that all is unfolding with perfect timing.

Final Thoughts

Those feelings of helplessness and hopelessness will begin to dissipate in time. You have done nothing to deserve what you are feeling, and your life isn’t over; it is really just beginning.

Start the reflection process.

It’s easy to think about what we don’t want when in pain, but we rarely think about what we want instead. We extend our negative feelings by holding onto that which has already passed, and thinking we never want to feel like this again just makes us feel it more.

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Begin to move your attention forward. Decide what’s important to you and what you really want from life now. Decide how you want to feel. It will change your life.

More Tips to Get Through Tough Times

Featured photo credit: Analise Benevides via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Deb Johnstone

Deb is a professional mindset speaker and a transformational life, business and career coach. Specialising in NLP and dynamic mindset.

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Last Updated on September 16, 2021

Feel That Life Is Meaningless? Here’s How to Find Meaning

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Feel That Life Is Meaningless? Here’s How to Find Meaning

Have you ever felt like you’re unable to feel anything? You know exactly what this feeling is if you’ve been through it. The feeling of a meaningless life is unexplainable.

A meaningless life may not look bad. In fact, there’s likely nothing obviously wrong. You may be living in your dream house with the love of your life. Your well-paid job in the company that you dreamt of is doing great, too. However, you feel like a part of your heart and soul are missing.

If you feel like nothing is right, you may be living a meaningless life. But don’t you worry, because you’re in the right place to find the perfect solution for you and your unique life.

What Is a Meaningless Life?

Let’s start by helping you put a finger on your issue. Is it actually a meaningless life or just a rough slump?

Be clear on one thing: no human’s life is ever truly meaningless. Basically, your life can never lose its meaning and purpose. If you’re living in this world, there is some reason deep down. The only issue is that you have lost the vision to identify it. Your perspective is too blurred to figure out what you are in this world for.

A meaningless life may mean you’re going through an existential crisis. You could be borderline depressed. The feeling of emptiness may prevail all other emotions. However, you can be sure that, despite all of this, there’s still meaning to your existence.

All you have to do is push through to find it.

If you feel that you’re living a meaningless life, negativity will surround you like wildfire. However, you’ve got to keep your head high so that you can look ahead and find an answer. You have to strive to find your life’s meaning to continue to live a life of high motivation.

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Before you move on with the rest of the process, make sure to first imprint this in your mind. Only then will you be able to guide your thought process in the right direction.

Is There Any Meaning to Life?

Life, in its literal term, means to exist and reproduce. The reproduction not only includes the creation of humans like yourself, but also of thoughts, ideologies, and philosophies.

A person who is living a meaningless life has a very different view of what life is supposed to be. That is where the issue arises. To understand the meaning of life without any misconceptions, one should look at the philosophy behind this concept.

Like most branches of research, philosophy has numerous diverging answers to answer what the meaning of life is[1]. Here’s a quick summary of what I consider the most suitable understanding.

It all starts from a human’s expectations and, ultimately, reactions. Every individual expects something from the world and, in return, has to react to the expectations of others. Generally, this idea is surrounded by wanting goodness. To achieve that, a person has to do good deeds as well.

This cycle continues. But, of course, it is very complex. A lot of factors contribute to this cycle, such as selfishness, a different point of view of what’s good, emotions, likes and dislikes, etc.

The point of this entire concept in philosophy is that, ultimately, the process of growth and reproduction comes to an end for every human. There’s no escaping that. Therefore, the goal is to live life in a way that, when the individual’s growth comes to an end, something good is still left behind for the cycle to continue.

Where Does the Good Come From?

This is the point where the differences come in. People with different beliefs opt for varying methods to reach the same goal.

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There are four main schools of thought in philosophy in this regard, and they all offer different advice on how to move past living a meaningless life[2].

1. God

One school believes that God is the center of everything we do. Hence, goodness is anything that goes in line with the religion that you believe in.

2. The Soul

The other school of thought centers their actions on the soul. For them, anything that satisfies and calms your inner self is the path you should follow, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks.

3. Objectivists

The objectivists say that everything in the world is defined; the good and bad are certain, so no one should go beyond the set boundaries.

4. Subjectivists

The subjectivists, on the other hand, believe that since every individual’s cognition varies, the meaning of every single thing in the world is different. No two individuals can have a similar thought process.

All in all, life comes down to one thing only: goodness. That is what life should be, and that is what you should leave behind. How you achieve it depends on which school of thought you agree with. Whatever you believe in is ultimately what the meaning of your life is.

How to Stop Living a Meaningless Life

Now you know that there is a meaning to your life, without question. You also have an idea of what this meaning is. You’ve got to figure out what you consider “good” and build your life around it.

Regardless of which school of thought you agree with or what you have decided your life’s meaning to be, the process to implement will be a bit hard. To make it easier, here are some universal tips.

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1. Unlearn What You’ve Been Told All Your Life

Do not be distracted by what you’ve learned in your life until now. The truth is, you could have been told something for 30 years of your life only to find out that it was all baseless.

The only thing in life that is definite is that there are no rules. We didn’t come into this world with a rule book or defined meaning. Every individual was given the ability to make choices in their life. So, take hold of yours, learn your right and wrong from scratch, and make sure nothing is detracting you from the real meaning of your life. Don’t be afraid if you learn something that goes against your lifelong motto if it gets you away from living a meaningless life.

2. Know That You Matter

This has been said a couple of times by now but, honestly, the more you emphasize this fact, the easier it will be for you.

The fact that you’re alive, living in this world, and taking another breath to take means that you matter. Your life purpose is yet to be fulfilled, so you’ve still got to make some impact in this world.

You are the one person that has to change the world, even if it is something as small as changing the life of one tiny creature. Keep this in mind at all times.

3. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

If your life’s meaning was somewhere inside the circle that you stay in, you would’ve found it by now. Isn’t it obvious that what you’re looking for is out of your comfort zone? Then, what’s keeping you from stepping out?

Don’t hesitate to step out. The short-term discomfort will help you find the long-term purpose of life, which will give you a lifetime of relaxation and a constant way out of a meaningless life.

4. Follow Your Heart

Whether you’re choosing which school of thought to follow or opting between what good to go after, never ignore your heart. Your intuition is your heart’s way of guiding you. Don’t let it take over, but also don’t forget to take it into consideration.

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5. Do Not Let Go of Your Passion

You know that one thing in life that you just cannot give up no matter hard you try? Stop trying to get rid of it. You’re passionate about something for a reason. It is a step for you to reach your life’s meaning.

6. Be More Mindful

The big things in life tend to take over the tiny details. These little things are signs to help you decode and find answers. Meditate if you have a hard time focusing, but always try your best to pay attention to the little experiences that you usually don’t notice.

Conclusion

If you’re a person who is going through the dilemma of living a meaningless life, try to use these tips to help you seek out your unique meaning. Although your life seems meaningless, rest assured that it’s not.

The ball is now in your court. You’re the one who has to do the rest of the work. Use the tips to help you find the true meaning of your life, and then stick to it. Get on with step 1 from today without losing any motivation at all.

All the work that you’ll put in the process now will help you achieve a life of happiness and peace worth living.

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Featured photo credit: Frida Aguilar Estrada via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Philosophy Now: What is Life?
[2] Philosophy Now: What is The Meaning Of Life?

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