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Last Updated on December 1, 2020

10 Things to Remember When You Feel Like Your Life Is Over

10 Things to Remember When You Feel Like Your Life Is Over

Have you ever experienced one of those crisis moments in life when you say to yourself, “My life is over”?

You feel helpless and hopeless, like the world is against you, and you wonder what you have done to deserve it.

I think the first time I felt this way was when I was 16 years old, and my first love dumped me for someone else. Over 40 years later, I can see that what I experienced then was pretty minor compared to the many life challenges since, but at the time, it felt like the end of the world.

Whether it’s when your first love dumps you for some else, or it’s a much deeper crisis point, like the death of a loved one or your kids leaving home, it can sometimes feel like there is nothing left to live for.

Certainly, losing a dream job or business you have been working your whole life for can feel devastating. And I know there are many people going through that experience right now during our global economic downturn.

There is good news in this, though.

It’s often times like these that we begin to reevaluate who we are, what’s important, and what we really want. We evolve and become stronger, more resilient, and more determined than before. Life often takes on new meaning, and we find another direction with increased fulfilment.

These musings and reflections tend to take place after the initial shock, though, and it’s easy to get stuck wallowing in those early negative and sad feelings. Without awareness, this can go on for an extended time after the event.

Over the years, I have gathered together a tool kit of insights that I pull out at times when I feel like giving up. It has helped me move on from feelings of despair, instead feeling a sense of hopefulness that things will work out for the better.

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If you are having one those “my life is over” moments, then check out my toolbox of reminders to help you get through each day. You may find something to help you, too.

1. Everything in Life Eventually Passes

Sometimes when we are stuck in those challenging moments, we forget that everything eventually does pass, even the more difficult stuff. Nothing is ever stationary because life is in constant flow.

Think for a moment about the seasons; they are never stagnant. It seems like those first blossoms of spring evolve into fruit in no time at all. This is because everything is always progressing. This means that what you are experiencing right now, even your emotions, will change in time.

2. There Is Good in Your Life

Those moments when we feel like life is over happen because we are overthinking the things that we don’t want. As we give more of our attention to obstacles in life, we can feel a sense of loss and hopelessness.

When we make an effort to notice the good, it helps us feel better. We begin to notice more of our blessings. As we continue to do this, it lifts our emotional state and energetic frequency. This allows the changes we want to manifest.

3. Nature Offers Peace

There is a reason we feel more at peace in nature, and that’s because the energy is pure and high-frequency. This therapeutic practice has been called forest bathing[1].

When we regularly spend time in nature and allow ourselves to be fully present with our surroundings, it raises our energetic frequency.

Forest bathing is said to have numerous health benefits. Some of those are that it helps us release stress, anxiety, and depression. It has healing effects, plus it lifts our energy to the vibration of manifestation.

This means you will not only feel so much better, but you will also create a different experience.

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4. You Are the Writer of Your Life Story

Telling yourself your life is over brings with it feelings of helplessness because you are not looking for the things you can change.

We are each the writer of our own life story, even when things happen that we have no control over, because we always have control over how we respond.

You may not be able to change what has happened, but you can change your story from this point onwards. It is important to acknowledge your feelings in any situation, but don’t make this your story.

Decide what you want, and focus on writing your next chapter.

5. A Diamond Is Formed Through Intense Pressure

I know this is a much-quoted metaphor, but it is used a lot because it is true. It’s the same process when a flower begins as a bulb. It fights its way up through layers of soil to eventually produce the most spectacular bloom.

The more pressure you are feeling right now, the greater the beauty it can lead you to experience. Think of yourself like a diamond. Know that the intensity you feel is an indication of the sparkle of life to come.

6. When One Chapter Ends, Another Begins

It’s a horrible feeling when a door just slams in your face. When it’s something you have wanted badly, it really can feel like life is over.

Really, it is over in a way as life as you used to know it has come to an end. However, the good thing about this is that, for anything new to begin, there is something that must end. If you continue to focus on the chapter that is over, you could miss the one that is about to begin.

When you take your attention from the closed door and look out for those openings, you will feel heaps better.

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7. Every Day Is a New Beginning

During any crisis point in life, we have those days that feel so much worse than others. Nothing seems to go right, and it seems like wherever we turn, we’re reminded of what we want to forget.

We will always have the good and the not so good; it is the natural process of life. For there to be light, there must be dark. Otherwise, the light would cease to exist. This means if we want the good days, then we need to accept the not so good, too.

When you feel those darker moments, remind yourself that tomorrow is another day. Things can always change for the better.

8. It’s Not Personal

There are many things that happen throughout life that are related to us directly, so you may think that you have to take everything personally. But that kind of thinking can send you into a negativity loop.

If you hear yourself say, “Why does this always happen to me?” I guarantee you are taking it personally in a way that will keep you stuck. This is because the word “always” implies that you never experience anything better. This means you will continue to look for similar situations.

Instead, remind yourself of times when you have enjoyed more fruitful circumstances and choose to look for more of those.

9. Forgiveness Will Help You Heal

Forgiveness is often seen as letting someone off the hook. By remaining resentful, we think we’re punishing others for their wrong doing.

In fact, we punish ourselves because this only brings us more personal pain.

Nelson Mandela said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then waiting for it to kill your enemy”[2]. He had a lot that he could have felt resentful about, but he knew the power of forgiveness.

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When you forgive another person, it doesn’t mean what they did was okay. Forgiveness is a space that you reach within yourself to help you let go.

As you allow yourself to do this, you free yourself from your own hook as forgiveness brings you personal peace.

10. Challenges Are Gifts

Yes, it is true, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. It’s often much later after the crisis has passed that we notice the gift. However, knowing there has to be a precious jewel in the pain can often help us bear the harder moments.

Some of my greatest life challenges, including losing my parents, losing my home, and going through divorce led me to where I am now. I can see the growth and changes in direction I made because of them. It’s these changes that have created the beautiful life I live now.

This insight probably helps me the most whenever a new challenge presents itself. It helps me trust in the process of life.

Always remind yourself that, however miserable your current circumstances are, there is a gift in it. You will notice it when you are ready. Trust that all is unfolding with perfect timing.

Final Thoughts

Those feelings of helplessness and hopelessness will begin to dissipate in time. You have done nothing to deserve what you are feeling, and your life isn’t over; it is really just beginning.

Start the reflection process.

It’s easy to think about what we don’t want when in pain, but we rarely think about what we want instead. We extend our negative feelings by holding onto that which has already passed, and thinking we never want to feel like this again just makes us feel it more.

Begin to move your attention forward. Decide what’s important to you and what you really want from life now. Decide how you want to feel. It will change your life.

More Tips to Get Through Tough Times

Featured photo credit: Analise Benevides via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Deb Johnstone

Deb is a professional mindset speaker and a transformational life, business and career coach. Specialising in NLP and dynamic mindset.

How to Use the Theories of Motivation to Keep Yourself Uplifted How to Survive a Quarter Life Crisis (The Complete Guide) How to Learn Patience to Get Your Thoughts and Feelings Under Control 9 Self Limiting Beliefs That Are Holding You Back from Success How to Make a Plan And Reach Your Goals in Life

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Last Updated on April 8, 2021

How to Find Purpose in Life and Make Yourself a Better Person

How to Find Purpose in Life and Make Yourself a Better Person

Some mornings, you may feel that there’s something deeper you could be a part of. You feel the pull towards something, but you can’t exactly pin it down—it eludes you and frustrates you. You’re not really sure how to find purpose in life.

You might have heard stories from writers or musicians who have felt their calling their entire lives; the Mozarts of the world who have pursued their passions from the moment they were out of the womb. Deep down you wish you had this “knowing” to pull you forward.

Frankly, you do: all it takes is a little digging to uncover the truth when you start asking how to find my purpose.

Think of uncovering your passion like the work of a master sculptor, slowly chipping away the stone to reveal the masterpiece underneath. Your life’s purpose is this masterpiece, simply lurking beneath the surface, waiting to be released.

Successful people know that the fastest way to learn how to find your purpose is through the art of introspection: diving into the deeper essence of who you are to pull out the pieces to assemble the purpose puzzle.

Think of your life’s purpose as a golden thread; for some, that thread comes in the form of a certain career or profession, while for others it looks like a way of being or expression.

Here are some of the simple steps you’ll need to take if you want to learn how to find purpose in life.

Why Do You Want This?

Ultimately, you’re trying to improve your life and live with meaning by finding your purpose. You want more zest, more flavor, more fullness. In the strictest sense, you want to become a better person. You want to wake up in the morning excited, jumping out of bed with a thirst for life that you haven’t felt since you were a child.

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Your purpose can be the driving force behind this. If you feel lost, your sense of purpose can be your connection to something larger, something that will allow you to truly make a difference[1].

Finding Purpose – Student Health & Counseling Center

    Still, your “why” might be different. Before we even leave solid ground, you need this as your anchor, just in case things get a little foggy. To find it, just answer this question:

    Why do you want to find your purpose in life?

    Write down or remember whatever comes up. It might be some of the above reasons, or it might be something entirely different. Whatever it is, hold it close.

    What You’ll Need to Find Your Purpose

    Before any great quest (physical or mental), you want to make sure your tools and supplies are in working order. For this quest the tools are simple: You’ll need a pen and piece of paper, a working memory, and the drive to uncover what you set out to find.

    Before we go, there are a few things you’ll need to embrace beforehand. Think of these items as the underlying code of conduct for your quest.

    1. I welcome the hard work and tiresome effort it will take to unearth my life’s great work.
    2. I know my purpose might not be directly obvious, but I will put in the time to find it.
    3. I believe finding my purpose is entirely possible.
    4. I know that finding my life’s purpose may lead to some big (positive) changes.
    5. I know that finding my life’s purpose will leave me with the power to shape my own destiny.

    Once you’ve let the above affirmations settle, you’re ready to set sail. Your tools are sharpened, and your mind is prepped as you’re thinking how to find my purpose.

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    If you’re someone who procrastinates, just getting started may be difficult. If that’s the case, check out Lifehack’s free guide: End Distraction And Find Your Focus. It will help you focus your attention on the next steps, which will ultimately lead you to your purpose.

    1. Facing Your Inner Dialogue

    When you first begin to dive into your thoughts and desires, there will be an initial resistance, a pervading fear of the unknown[2].

    The first inner dragon you might face will likely be your internal beliefs. They might try to stop you in your tracks or tell you you’re crazy for trying to find your purpose in the first place. They might say harsh things, like “You don’t deserve to have a purpose” or “You’ll never find what you’re looking for.”

    To combat your inner dialogue, you have to first realize it’s happening. When you start to actually pay attention to the thoughts as they’re spiraling, they lose their power. They get their power by operating below the surface, so when you shine a spotlight of awareness upon them, they lose their control over you.

    Once you’re familiar with these inner dragons, it will be easier to slay them.

    Next, you’ll have to take action to correct your inner dialogue if you really want to learn how to find purpose in life.

    Try this on for size: When you’ve come across a belief that is threatening to stop your journey, take a breath, look it square in the eye, and then act anyway.

    This will teach you to develop your courage muscle, and this heart-centered courage will give you something to lean on throughout your uncertain quest. This will ultimately improve your mental health overall.

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    2. Questions for the Great Dig

    Now that you know why you’re doing this and how to overcome any hurdle, you’re ready for the challenges you’ll inevitably face. Your preparation is done, so now it’s time to look at what your soul is trying to tell you.

    You can check out this TED Talk by Noeline Kirabo to learn about some questions that will help you discover your passion and purpose:

    Now, get ready to dive deep. Keep in mind that we’re going to analyze common threads in your life and the deep desires you currently have to give you a one-two punch when learning how to find purpose in life.

    Step 1: The Soul-Baring Questions

    • If you had all the money in the world, how would you spend your time?
    • What would your perfect day look like? Describe every detail.
    • What activities set your soul on fire?

    Don’t be afraid to dive deep with these questions, and write down whatever comes to mind.

    Make sure you create some space to ponder these questions. Nothing is too outlandish, so do your best to turn off your mental filter. The best answers will come when you can turn off your self-judgement.

    Once you have these answers in hand, we’re going to take a little stroll back into your memory to dig up some more answers and learn how to find purpose in life.

    When you’re a child, your life experience is more freeing, playful, and alive. Your whims direct your life, and you’re more plugged in to a deeper current. At this stage in your life, the outside world hasn’t shaped your dreams yet, and you have direct access to your passions and purpose.

    We all had things we loved to do as kids but ended up giving them up for the sake of practicality. What we’re going to do here is take a stroll through your memory banks and try to gain some glimpses of this childhood wisdom.

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    Step 2: Connect With Your Inner Child

    • What brought you immense joy as a kid?
    • What were you doing when you lost track of time?
    • What did your parents have to drag you away from?
    • What did you love deep down before the world told you to get practical?

    Once again, keep your mind in an open place when finding your purpose. If you’re having trouble, it may help to look at a picture of yourself when you were younger, or grab an old stuffed animal or other item that sends you back into the memory banks.

    3. Weaving Your Golden Thread

    Now that you’ve pulled yourself away from social media long enough to brave the depths of your thoughts, you’re ready to do the hard work of learning how to find purpose in life and defining yours. The last stretch of the journey is to string all the bits of randomness together and find the common themes.

    Your job now is to take a hard look at all your answers and see if you can pull out any common ideas that are in both lists.

    Maybe you’ve wanted to be a writer since you were a child, and committing words to a page every day really sets your soul on fire. There’s a good chance that writing may be involved in your life’s purpose.

    Maybe you’ve always been fascinated by the stars and the cosmos, and you’ve always had a deep connection to spending time outdoors. You could combine this into an excursion where you lead groups of people into the wild to stargaze and contemplate their place in the universe.

    Let your creativity reign as you’re working on finding your purpose, and don’t fret if you can’t make a connection right away. Sometimes, it helps to sleep on it and let your subconscious work on the solution for you.

    You can also check out this Lifehack Fast Track Class for a little extra push as you work on learning how to find your purpose:

    If you’ve done the work, then you’re on your way to finding your life’s purpose. When it’s there, you’ll feel it deep down in your bones.

    The Bottom Line

    Learning how to find purpose in life is a lifelong journey, but once your purpose has been discovered, you’ll find that your life opens itself up in ways you never thought possible. You will experience new depths of opportunity, and your eyes will be opened to all the possibilities around you. First, you must simply turn toward your thoughts and jump in.

    More on How to Find Your Purpose

    Featured photo credit: Katerina Kerdi via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Western Oregon University: Finding Purpose
    [2] Journal of Anxiety Disorders: Fear of the unknown: One fear to rule them all?

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