Advertising
Advertising

5 Must Read Books that Will Save You from Fighting in Your Relationship

5 Must Read Books that Will Save You from Fighting in Your Relationship

What really causes you to fight with your partner?  Although the triggers are often superficial, the underlying answers are deeper – which is why most couples are stuck in endless loops where they keep fighting about the same things over and over again.

If you want to really understand the answer to this question, it’s paramount to take some time to understand the real reasons that ultimately cause our repeating patterns of conflict.

These 5 books will teach you new ways to understand both yourself and your partner, and what drives the patterns of behavior you both subconsciously follow every day.  They can shed light on many of your questions, backed by countless success stories from readers who have made breakthroughs in their relationships.

Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married By Gary D. Chapman

Advertising

    To most of us, getting married is just another “official” step forward from our current relationship. No one would think being prepared is necessary since going through a normal relationship already seems to be a prerequisite. However, there’s a huge gap between being in a relationship to actually building a life together. Gary Chapman has put together this practical book to teach readers how to build a healthy and loving marriage.

    “I’m a 30 year old male about to propose to my girlfriend. I picked up this book on a whim. I cannot overstate how much I have learned from this book. I started highlighting things that I thought were important to me or that really hit home or made sense. I wrote notes in the margin. I ordered a copy for my soon to be fiance and she is going to do the same thing with her copy. Then we’ll switch so we can both learn from each other. Anyone that wants to be a better partner, regardless of weather or not that includes marriage, should pick this book up and read it front to back. I really can’t say enough good things about this book.”- Ryan on Amazon Review

    Get Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married from Amazon at $ 8.69.

    The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts By Gary D. Chapman & Jocelyn Green

    Advertising

      Joined with Joycelyn Green, Gary Chapman has published this book that decodes the secret of love. It’s one of the top selling relationship books on Amazon. Gary talks about what signals us as “love”, how partners can see the same action differently and brings out the importance of understanding your partner’s love language in order to aid better communication. The love language doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships, it’s also equally applicable to building sustainable friendships and family relationships as well.

      Get The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts from Amazon at $ 10.99.

      Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs By Emerson Eggerichs

        Dr. Emerson Eggerichs provides advice from a psychological perspective on how to maintain a healthy and loving marriage. In his book, he cracks the relationship secret by teaching readers how to shift their focus from only their relationship to the whole family perspective. He also addresses some commonly experienced marriage problems such as dealing with affairs, how to regain the romantic spark, and how to protect and nurture mutual respect.

        Advertising

        Get Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs from Amazon at $13.89.

        Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love By Sue Johnson

          Hold Me Tight is one of the most insightful books about human relationships that you’ll ever read, backed by solid empirical scientific proof and a ton of success cases.  In an engaging and easy-to-read style, Dr. Sue Johnson introduces psychological concepts that any lay person can instantly understand.  You’ll gain deep insights into every relationship that you’ve ever had, and understand the underlying forces behind how and why we communicate the way we do.  Filled with simple exercises for practicing better communication and understanding, this book is useful for anyone, whether you’re in a relationship or not.

          Get Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love from Amazon at $17.48.

          Advertising

          Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love By Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

            Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller (a psychiatrist and neuroscientist, respectively) explain love through the latest scientific theories on attachment.  This book describes the three basic types of attachment that all people have.  These basic types affect relationships at all levels, from how you see intimacy, to communication style, to the types of things that satisfy you within a relationships.  The premise is that understanding the attachment type of you and your partner will help you navigate your relationship with more awareness, avoiding common pitfalls and being able to focus on the right things to nurture a relationship.

            Get Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find- and Keep- Love from Amazon at $10.84.

            More by this author

            Lifehack Reads

            Lifehack Reads is the curated collection of our favorite books, carefully categorized and sorted by our Editorial Team.

            10 Books That Will Change Your Life Forever 5 Books You Must Read if You Want to Be a Millionaire in Your 20’s 27 Must Read Books Every Novel Lover Should Read at Least Once 1 Minute Book Summary: 59 Seconds 2 Minutes Book Summary: How the World Sees You

            Trending in Social Animal

            1 How to Surround Yourself With Positive People 2 The Lifehack Show: Improving Social Skills with Dr. Daniel Wendler 3 How to Master Effective Communication Skills Anywhere 4 13 Essential People Skills to Succeed in Your Career 5 Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

            Read Next

            Advertising
            Advertising
            Advertising

            Last Updated on February 19, 2020

            15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

            15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

            Books give us the opportunity to live vicariously through the lives of people with greater wisdom than ourselves. They stimulate our brains and help us not only solve the problems we struggle with, but also motivate and inspire us with new ideas.

            One of the great things about people who think positively and live happy lives is that they love to help others do the same. There are countless positive-thinking books and these 15 are a great way to help you start living a happy life.

            1. Man’s Search For Meaning by Victor E. Frankl

            mans search for meaning

              This book goes through the horrific struggle of Viktor Frankl who survived holocaust concentration camps. The only thing that kept him going was his idea that everything, even the worst of human suffering, had to have meaning. If you’re struggling through anything in your life, I guarantee the words of Viktor will give you courage to press on and find happiness.

              2. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

              tuesday with morrie

                 

                What is life’s greatest lesson? Morrie, a retired professor with a fatal disease, opts to use his predicament to share that message as opposed to just giving up and dying. Following the last few months of Morrie’s life will help you realize what is truly important in life.

                Advertising

                3. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

                Lecture_Book

                  Similar to Tuesdays with Morrie, Randy is a college professor who finds he has a fatal disease with only a few months to live. It is customary for professors at his university (Carnegie Mellon) to give a final lecture with the basis of ‘what wisdom would you impart to a large group of people if it was your last chance?’ Randy stays incredibly positive throughout and even keeps the lecture humorous and entertaining. Amidst it all, his wisdom is a powerful reminder about how to live a happy, full life.

                  4. Earning Freedom by Michael Santos

                  earning freedom

                    Michael Santos was sentenced to 45 years is prison for selling drugs. During his term he fought hard to earn a masters degree and half of a doctorate (halted by the warden) while writing numerous books educating students about the criminal justice system. This book provides a fascinating window into his entire sentence (released in 2012) and how a positive attitude and strong work ethic got him through it. If he found happiness in prison through positive thinking, we can do it anywhere.

                    If you don’t have the attention span to finish a long book, the following quick reads are shorter but just as powerful.

                    5. The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper

                    little engine that could

                      This book has shaped childrens’ minds for years. It illustrates the undeniable fact that when you think positively and believe in yourself, you can accomplish extraordinary things.

                      Advertising

                      6. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

                      The_Giving_Tree

                        Happiness is found in giving. What does it mean to love someone? What would you sacrifice for someone you love? This children’s book teaches a valuable lesson about unconditional love and what it truly means to be happy.

                        7. The Dash by Linda Ellis and Mac Anderson

                        the dash

                          “When your life is over, everything you did will be represented by a single dash between two dates—what will that dash mean for the people you have known and loved?” (Linda Ellis) We don’t choose a lot of things about our life – parents, birthplace, etc. – but we can choose what that dash between those two dates means. This short book will give you a great perspective on making your life worthwhile.

                          8. As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

                          As-a-Man-Thinketh

                            “The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state… Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” (James Allen) This book might be short, but it is jam-packed with statements that will make you stop and think. We truly become what we think we are. Negative thoughts affect us more than we know. Positive thinking = happy life.

                            9. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald  Miller

                            Advertising

                            a-million-miles-in-a-thousand-years

                              You are the author of your story. No matter how boring or dull your life has been, you can always turn it around. Donald was in a rut in his life. He had no desire to get out of bed and found himself questioning the meaning of life. Eventually he realized he wasn’t a slave to a pre-written script. He used that mindset to turn around his thoughts, actions, and life. When the closing credits roll on the story of your life, what will people say? Never forget that you have the power to push your limits and live an interesting, happy life.

                              10. The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews

                              travelersgift

                                The Traveler’s Gift is a fictional story about a man who is overwhelmed with life and finds himself thrown into numerous true events from history – including Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. He interacts and learns important life lessons from seven different experiences. The book is full of ways to think more positively and find more success in life.

                                11. David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell

                                david and goliath

                                  Malcolm Gladwell motivates you to challenge your preconceptions of underdogs and misfits in this thought-provoking book. When you break down the facts in the story of David and Goliath from the Bible, you find that David really wasn’t an underdog at all – he was the one with the advantage. This book outlines story after story after story of people who were at a disadvantage and learned to find the strength in their weakness.

                                  12. How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton M. Christensen

                                  how will you measure

                                    How would you feel if you got to the end of your life only to realize you had been measuring success wrong? Clayton provides a mass amount of wisdom and advice on how to live a life you won’t regret.

                                    Advertising

                                    13. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson

                                    Dont_Sweat_Small_Stuff

                                      The small things we worry about every day may not seem like a big deal, but they wear us down slowly and stop us from living up to our full potential. Learn how to get rid of those worries and negative thoughts and live a happier life.

                                      14. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

                                      mere christianity

                                        C.S. Lewis, who used to be an Atheist, explains how he came to find meaning in life through Christianity. He breaks down all the reasons we doubt and falter in life and how living the principles of Christianity fixes our weaknesses. Lewis is famous for his deep, thought-provoking quotes and this book is no exception.

                                        15. Bushido: The Way of the Samurai by Tsunetomo Yamamoto

                                        bushido

                                          Bushido is based on the Hagakure, a document that served as the basis for samurai warrior behavior. The document’s purpose was to shape the mind and the spirit of the samurai warrior.

                                          More Positive Books

                                          Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

                                          Read Next