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The Danger of Saying “Be Careful” to Children

The Danger of Saying “Be Careful” to Children

Whenever the children leave the house to go out and play, parents feel the need to protect their safety. Instinctively they tell them to be careful. Parents do this to instill a sense of caution in them so that they don’t get hurt. It’s a reflexive reaction to tell the kids to “be careful” when they set out to play. When they join their friends to ride their bikes, parents tell them to “be careful.” When they’re running around the yard, climbing trees, using sharp tools during craft time; parents’ instinct tells them to say, “be careful.”

Parents are protectors. To prevent the kids from hurting themselves, parents attempt to use precautionary language to keep their kids’ guard up. The problem is, “be careful” is so vague and commonly used that children have become immune to this phrase.

Saying “be careful” to kids has become a habit.

Since the children were little babies, it has been parents’ innate obligation to watch over them and keep them safe. But as the children grow, they require a little more freedom. Parents can’t watch their every move anymore. Since supervision becomes less prevalent, parents find other ways to look out for them.

Some parents instill caution in kids by suggesting alternatives. They may tell their children to walk instead of running into the street. Always look both ways. To stand back and allow cars to pass by instead of attempting to jump on them.

Other parents take the shortcut and say “be careful” to their kids.

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There’s a reason that parents habitually tell their children to be careful. Ever since we were small, that’s what we were told as well. It just seems like the normal way to warn children. At home, your parents would always tell you to “be careful” when you went swimming in the pool, or out to play red-rover with your friends. Teachers would tell you to “be careful” when you ran out for recess.

There’s seemingly nothing wrong with it. The phrase is always passed on with good intentions. That is why we habitually tell children to be careful when they engage in possibly hazardous activities.

But preventative language like “be careful” is only helpful when it is accurately explained. The simple term “be careful” isn’t going to cut it anymore.

“Be careful” can mean so much that it means nothing.

The phrase holds so much meaning, that it is rendered meaningless. Without any specific details or guidance, the children don’t know what they need to be wary of. They need to be provided with an explanation on what they need to be careful of and why. What will happen if they don’t proceed with caution?

Without accurate explanations, children might begin to perceive everything as a threat. The vague, “be careful” could translate to be careful of everything around you. Everything is a danger. With this value implanted in them from a young age, they may grow up to believe that nothing is safe.

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They may become paranoid and meek. They will be less likely to engage in physical activities because of the impending possibility of injury. They won’t step outside of their comfort zone because it’s just too scary.

Playing it safe means watching from the sidelines.

Children need to have the freedom to make some mistakes on their own and learn from them. If you make them believe that nothing is safe, they will believe that the only way to exist and survive is to avoid risk by all means possible.

While safety is important, this avoidance of risk could be detrimental to their development. When they are wrapped up in keeping themselves “safe”, they could be missing out on loads of opportunities.

By always using caution, children will grow up to only engage in activities that they know are completely certain and free of risk. But the reality is that nothing is certain. There is always some level of risk regardless of your level of caution.

In order to get ahead in life, you have to take risks. Opportunities are basically synonymous with risks. There’s a chance that it won’t work out. But there is also a chance that it will. Being “too careful” will cause them to pass up on opportunities. This can hinder them from achieving success. Success never came to those who were too afraid to go after it.

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If children are raised to always fear the unknown and never take any risks, they may be doomed to lead a mediocre life. They’ll never have the ambition to strive for greatness. Instead they’ll spend their lives wishing they were more determined, regretting all of the chances that they never took.

Guide, don’t warn.

Let the children know to proceed with caution, but don’t make them be afraid to fall. They need to learn how to get back up, dust themselves off, and move forward.

When reminding them to be careful, be more specific. Explain the situation at hand, and what exactly they need to be careful of. Don’t give them a vague and flawed sense of danger. Tell them why the activity is dangerous, but don’t limit their choices. Still allow them to engage in the activity. Allow them to discover boundaries on their own and develop their own sense of caution.

As you know at this point, “be careful” is just too vague.

There is nothing wrong with the phrase “be careful” when your intentions are pure. But children need more information. They need to know what specifically they need to be careful of and what might happen if they aren’t.

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Here’s what you can say to give your children a bit more of an explanation.[1]

Words with more meaning

  1. Stay focused on what you are doing.
  2. Watch out for other people and give them lots of space.
  3. Check in with each other. Make sure everyone is having fun.
  4. Please move slowly and carefully near the ____.
  5. That rock looks heavy, can you manage it?
  6. Look around you before throwing things!
  7. *While climbing* Does that feel safe?
  8. Make sure you have space before running with your stick.
  9. Keep one end of your stick on the ground.
  10. Don’t run near the edge of a pool.
  11. Watch your friends, they might not be looking.
  12. If your toy goes into the road, call for an adult.
  13. Tell your friends if you don’t like how they play.
  14. Pay attention while climbing so you don’t slip.
  15. Take your time.

Let them fall, for good.

They aren’t always going to listen to you. Some lessons they need to learn for themselves. Give them the freedom to do that. Those who are willing to take risks are the ones who strive for success later on in life.

Featured photo credit: Photo by Josh Willink from Pexels via pexels.com

Reference

[1] Child & Nature Alliance: When you want to save “be careful”

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Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Published on March 13, 2019

What Makes A Great Place to Work Whilst Pregnant

What Makes A Great Place to Work Whilst Pregnant

Among women who had their first child in the early 1960s, just 44% worked at all during pregnancy. The latest figures show that 66% of mothers who gave birth to their first child between 2006 and 2008 worked during their pregnancy.[1]  It also showed that about eight-in-ten pregnant workers (82%) continued in the workplace until within one month of their first birth which has vastly increased from 35%. It is clear to see form the statical trends that more women are choosing to continue working through, and late into, pregnancy.

Unlike other developed world countries, the USA does not mandate any paid leave for new mothers under federal law,[2] though some individual employers make that accommodation and it is mandated by a handful of individual states. Finding what makes a great workplace whilst pregnant can alleviate stress and provide more stability for you and your family. 

In this article, you will discover exactly the best places to work whilst pregnant.

How Difficult Is It to Work Whilst Pregnant?

Many people strive to find and attain good jobs. For pregnant women, however, that process is often especially challenging. After all, you’ll face extra obstacles that are unique to expectant mothers.

If you are pregnant and need a job, then you’re definitely not alone. You are also not alone if you’re already employed and want to find a new job that is more family-friendly. Changing jobs while pregnant is something that many women consider, especially when they realise that their current positions may not be suitable for pregnancy or offer the benefits or flexibility that they’ll soon need. 

Getting a job while pregnant may not be the easiest thing in the world to do, but it is possible.

You can look for employment opportunities that don’t require too much physical exertion and that won’t cause you much emotional stress. Also, look for jobs that come with the chance to work flexible hours, offer good medical benefits, allow you to take time off as needed, and don’t require a long commute. In addition, it’s obviously wise to consider avoiding jobs that may expose you to toxins, people with communicable illnesses, or other physical hazards.

The Pre-Natal Mamma’s Needs

During pregnancy, there are many mental and physiological changes that a woman will go through. In understanding those changes, it is more clear which types of jobs and workplaces are more suited to you as a pregnant woman. 

During pregnancy, the birth of your baby and the postnatal period, changes in the hormones in your body can have an effect on your emotions during pregnancy. These hormones and the changes can cause joy, fear, surprise and anxiety all of which can be assisted with necessary support and talking. 

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The physiological changes are more varied according to each trimester:

1st Trimester (0-13 weeks)

In the first few weeks following conception, your hormone levels change significantly. Your uterus begins to support the growth of the placenta and the fetus, your body adds to its blood supply to carry oxygen and nutrients to the developing baby, and your heart rate increases.

These changes accompany many of the pregnancy symptoms, such as fatigue, morning sickness, headaches, and constipation. During the first trimester, the risk of miscarriage is significant.

2nd Trimester (13 – 27 weeks)

While the discomforts of early pregnancy should ease off, there are a few new symptoms to get used to. Common complaints include leg cramps and heartburn. You might find yourself growing more of an appetite, and your weight gain will accelerate. 

3rd Trimester (28 weeks – birth)

Travel restrictions take effect during the third trimester. It’s advised that you stay in relatively close proximity to your doctor or midwife in case you go into labor early. The baby is growing bigger and stronger; the kicks can be quite powerful and your abdomen is becoming larger and heavier.

Stretch marks may develop if they haven’t earlier in the pregnancy. Braxton-Hicks contractions- which are usually perceived as painless tightening can be felt. Lower back pain is very common and there may be more pelvic pressure and with this more frequent urination. 

Swollen legs and feet are very common as are increased fatigue, interrupted sleep and a reduced ability to eat a full meal at one sitting.

4th Trimester (Post birth onwards)

Your baby’s fourth trimester starts from the moment she’s born and lasts until she is three months old. The term is used to describe a period of great change and development in your newborn, as she adjusts to her new world outside your womb. There are many adaptations, recovery and rest that you and your baby need through this trimester whether you have a natural or c-section birth.

All of these considerations need to be in mind when looking to find a great workplace whilst pregnant — whether you’re looking to ask for more support from your current workplace, find a new job or enter employment. 

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Next, let’s look at the factors that would define the opposite; somewhere you shouldn’t look to work whilst pregnant.

How to Spot The Worst Workplaces to Work Whilst Pregnant

1. Non-Negotiable Heavy Lifting

Do you have to lift, push, bend, shove, and load materials all day? If you do, many experts believe you should ask for a job reassignment or quit by the 20th week of pregnancy.

2. Toxic Environments

The list of jobs that involve dangerous substances is miles long. Consider the artist who works with paint and solvents all day, the dry cleaner who breathes in cleaning fumes, the agricultural or horticultural worker who works with pesticides, the photographer who uses toxic chemicals to develop pictures, the tollbooth attendant who breathes in car and truck exhaust, or the printer who works with lead substances.

3. Proximity to People with Communicable Illnesses

Working with or exposure to certain bacteria, viruses, or other infectious agents could increase your chances of having a miscarriage, a baby with a birth defect, or other reproductive problems.  Some infections can pass to an unborn baby during pregnancy and cause a miscarriage or birth defect. Infections like seasonal influenza (the flu) and pneumonia can cause more serious illness in pregnant women.

4. Extended Hours of Standing

Cooks, nurses, salesclerks, waiters, police officers, and others, have jobs that keep them on their feet all day. This can be difficult for a pregnant woman, but it might be downright dangerous for her unborn baby. Studies have found that long hours of standing during the last half of pregnancy disrupt the flow of blood.[3]

Key Factors Creating a Great Workplace whilst Pregnant

1. Flexibility

You might feel tired as your body works overtime to support your pregnancy — and resting during the workday can be tough. Having an employer or job that provide care and is understanding to your needs is hugely beneficial.

A compassionate and empathetic employer will understand morning sickness; they will facilitate changes in working hours to accommodate your energy and assist with the smells from the work kitchen. 

They will also enable you to remain flexible to snack as and when you want to – crackers and other bland foods can be lifesavers when you feel nauseated. Nad eating small frequent meals are similarly saving you as your meal quantity decreases.

2. Compassion

More employers are learning that the idea that pregnant women are willing and necessary contributors to the economy and are capable of adding long-term value to their organizations. 

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Employers that follow good practice in maternity can improve the experience of pregnant employees and new mothers and encourage them to return to work following maternity leave.

A good relationship between a pregnant employee and her line manager is essential to the successful reintegration of the employee following maternity leave.

3. Stress Reduced

Stress on the job can sap the energy you need to care for yourself and your baby.

To minimize workplace stress, take control. Make daily to-do lists and prioritise your tasks. Consider what you can delegate to someone else — or eliminate. 

Talk it out. Share frustrations with a supportive co-worker, friend or loved one. 

Practice relaxation techniques, such as breathing slowly or imagining yourself in a calm place. Try a prenatal yoga class, as long as your health care provider says it’s OK.

4. Adaptable

As your pregnancy progresses, everyday activities such as sitting and standing can become uncomfortable. Remember those short, frequent breaks to combat fatigue? Moving around every few hours also can ease muscle tension and help prevent fluid buildup in your legs and feet. 

Using an adjustable chair with good lower back support can make long hours of sitting much easier — especially as your weight and posture change. If your chair isn’t adjustable, use a small pillow or cushion to provide extra support for your back.

Elevate your legs to decrease swelling. If you must stand for long periods of time, put one of your feet up on a footrest, low stool or box. Switch feet every so often and take frequent breaks.

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Wear comfortable shoes with good arch support. Consider wearing support or compression hose, too.

5. Financial Support

Financial strain is one of the leading causes of peri & post natal depression. Employers can support employees by offering them benefits beyond the statutory minimum, for example training mechanisms to help them cope with balancing work and family commitments. 

The employer should conduct a performance review with the employee prior to her maternity leave to boost her confidence and encourage her to consider how parenthood and work will fit together.

Key Take-Aways

If you’re working while you’re pregnant, you need to know your rights to antenatal care, maternity leave and benefits. 

If you have any worries about your health while at work, talk to your doctor, midwife or occupational health nurse. You can also talk to your employer, union representative, or someone in the personnel department (HR) where you work. 

Once you tell your employer that you’re pregnant, they should do a risk assessment with you to see if your job poses any risks to you or your baby. If there are any risks, they have to make reasonable adjustments to remove them. This can include changing your working hours. 

If you work with chemicals, lead or X-rays, or in a job with a lot of lifting, it may be illegal for you to continue to work. In this case, your employer must offer you alternative work on the same terms and conditions as your original job. If there’s no safe alternative, your employer should suspend you on full pay (give you paid leave) for as long as necessary to avoid the risk.

Look for employment opportunities that don’t require too much physical exertion and that won’t cause you much emotional stress. Also, look for jobs that come with the chance to work flexible hours, offer good medical benefits, allow you to take time off as needed, and don’t require a long commute. 

Your current employer may need to offer you different types of work or a change to your working hours. If your employer can’t get rid of the risks (for example by finding other suitable work without any reduction in pay for you), they should offer you suspension on full pay.

Featured photo credit: Alicia Petresc via unsplash.com

Reference

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