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Letting Go Of Your Ex Is Never Easy. But We Have Ideas That Can Guide You Through It.

Letting Go Of Your Ex Is Never Easy. But We Have Ideas That Can Guide You Through It.

When a relationship comes to an end it is never easy, especially if you are not the one ending it. We become so used to someone being a part of our life, and it becomes so hard to let them go and leave the past behind. We keep remembering so many happy moments and we just hope they will come running back to us. And thus we are stuck in the past, closing the doors to our future happiness.

We think we can relive the good memories

When we have invested so much of ourselves emotionally we don’t want it to end. And we wonder why the breakup happened when we were so happy. Lying down in bed at night, we relive all the good moments and the things we did to make our partner happy.

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But, we need to accept the fact that memories are just memories, and we cannot relive those moment and thus we need to move forward and make new memories. The best thing to do is to look at memories as sunk costs – a sunk cost is a cost you cannot recover. The same is true for good memories – no matter how perfect and great they were they belong to the past and cannot be recovered.

So, you have two choices – either you will get stuck in the past or move forward. Being stuck in the past cannot bring you happiness, just more pain. The longer you hang on to past memories, the further away you are from future happiness.

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We believe our ex was PERFECT for us

We are so quick to forget all the bad things from our relationship once we break up. As if we become blind to everything what was wrong. Our brain plays with us making us idealize and believe our memories are perfect, when the actual experience was different.

And thus we mourn as we are certain our ex was the perfect fit, and simply won’t let go and hope we will continue our relationship. We tend to ignore and reject all potential great new partners as we are certain our ex will come around and eventually come back. Justifying the fact they are worth the wait by remembering only the best moments is just making things work.

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Are we so blind that we have forgotten all the things that annoyed us, all the arguments that we had because we wanted different things? We have to understand that once someone decides to break up, they have already moved on. They understood the relationship is not what they wanted and they would like to experience different things and explore their other sides.

We have an image in our head of what we think they are like, but the truth is, after the breakup, they won’t be that same person we idealized in our head. The more time we spend apart, the more they will feel like a stranger to us. So there is no point in wanting them to come back – they are just not the same person they were.

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Breakups are hard, that’s the fact. And if we loved our partner so much, the idea of going through life without them is hard to sink in. But, if someone doesn’t want to be with us, it means they are not the perfect match for us, no matter what we believe. It is perfectly fine to be sad for a while, it takes time to get over someone. But obsessing with past memories for too long is not healthy for us. We cannot create our happiness by constantly looking back, but by looking forward to the future.

Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/ via pixabay.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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