Advertising
Advertising

Why Asking for Advice Doesn’t Help You Make Better Decisions (and What to Do Instead)

Why Asking for Advice Doesn’t Help You Make Better Decisions (and What to Do Instead)

I used to consider myself a great advice giver and I thought that that is what makes me a great friend, sister, daughter, and partner. People used to say that I am a great listener and that I always helped them to make the best decision. The same goes other way around. Whenever I was facing a problem, or a dilemma of any sort, I would ask my closest ones for advice. In the end, they are the ones who know me best and want what is best for me, right? As I am getting older, and a bit wiser, I am beginning to realize that I was wrong the whole time. Let me tell you why.

Seeking Advice May Make You Feel Reassured But It Brings About These 5 Problems

It has been a common practice for people to ask for second opinion of a friend or a loved one when facing a big decision in their lives. It makes us feel less alone when facing harsh circumstances, or more assured in the rightness of our decision when our closest ones share the same opinion. Yet, if we take a closer look at the process of advice seeking we would soon realize that asking for advice doesn’t in fact help us make better decisions.

Advertising

  • We often tend to ask for validation rather than an advice. When you, for example, say “My job is giving me a lot of stress, I should quit it, right?” you are not exactly asking for advice, but you are just seeking for someone to validate your opinion and a decision you have already made.
  • The people you usually turn to for advice are not always the most competent or knowledgeable ones about a problem at hand. Most of the times, you will turn to your closest ones for advice, yet asking your best friend who is a professional hairdresser to give you advice on job in accounting, would be ineffective in most cases.
  • If you decide to ask a close friend or a family member to give you some advice regarding the situation they have had faced earlier, doesn’t always result in the most appropriate solution. This is because we are rarely objective. Therefore, asking a parent to help you decide on a major at university, could lead to them deciding on a subject that they consider best for you rather than you choosing a subject you are most passionate about.
  • We usually seek advice from a couple of our closest ones, and then make a decision. Yet, in most cases a small group of people usually isn’t enough of a sample to help us reach the most optimal choice. For example, if you are planning a vacation and you ask a couple of your friends about a place they have visited, you might not be able to get the most objective picture of a place. A larger group of people on a tourist forum is much more reliable source of information.
  • Sometimes when we are not really sure about the decision we are about to make, we tend to let other people’s opinions guide us in one direction, just so we wouldn’t feel the responsibility if things turned out to be wrong. Most of the time, we do this unconsciously, yet it is a mechanism that helps us be free from responsibility, but it also leads to a great number of bad decisions.

When Seeking Advice Is Not an Option, You Can Do These 4 Things to Make Better Decisions

Question your beliefs

Our beliefs are what leads us to trust the person giving us advice, since most often we share the same beliefs. Even if we don’t, the advice that resonates with our beliefs the most is the advice we would most likely take. In order to not fall into the trap of belief bias, make sure to question our beliefs about a specific topic, and then analyze the facts.

Advertising

Ask for information but not advice

Consider the idea by Ryan Holiday, an author who suggests to look for information, rather than advice.[1] He explains the method as analyzing your problem or dilemma, and deciding on the most influential points which you can find more about by asking for information by people who are knowledgeable about it.

Advertising

Look at the whole picture before forming your opinions

In order to avoid another the confirmation bias that leads us to only consider the proof for our ideas and beliefs, while completely ignoring the opposite, we should take enough time to analyze the facts that contradict our initial opinion. By doing this we are being mindful of the possible negative results, and as a result, our point can even become stronger.

Check the numbers to have a more objective judgement of the situation

When making decision we tend to get blindsided by somebody’s success story regarding the issue we are dealing with. Of course you are going to expect the same outcome for yourself, yet you need to get a bigger picture and actually check the statistics before deciding on a whim.

Advertising

Reference

More by this author

Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

Who Says All Introverts Hate Socializing? Here’s The Truth About Introvert And Extrovert Every Time You Drink A Beer, Remember To Drink The Same Amount Of Water You’re Exceptionally Creative If You See The Correct Image (Only 1/100 People Can Do This!) If You Have These 6 Struggles, You’re Highly Intelligent 15 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To Be Truly Happy

Trending in Productivity

1 What Am I Doing with My Life? Find Your Answer Here 2 How To Use Goals and Dreams To Achieve Personal Success 3 Easy Tasks or Difficult Tasks First? Which One is More Productive? 4 7 Reasons to Dare to Dream Big 5 Why You Need to Set Future Goals (And How to Reach Them)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on June 2, 2020

Easy Tasks or Difficult Tasks First? Which One is More Productive?

Easy Tasks or Difficult Tasks First? Which One is More Productive?

Procrastination is probably the biggest detriment to our productivity. Conventional wisdom dictates that the best thing you can do is make that procrastination constructive. When you don’t feel like doing one task, usually one that requires a lot of will- or brainpower, you do another, usually less labor-intensive task.

Recently, though, conventional wisdom has been challenged with something Penn State refers to as “pre-crastination.”[1] After doing a series of studies in which students pick up and carry one of two buckets, researchers theorized that many people prefer to take care of difficult tasks sooner rather than later. That theory poses the question of whether this pre-crastination or the more widely acknowledged constructive procrastination is more effective.

Here is a look at whether people should do difficult tasks early or later on to achieve maximum productivity.

Advertising

Doing Easy Tasks First

The Pros

One of the hardest parts of working is just getting started. Constructive procrastination eases this hardship, because working on easy tasks requires a smaller mental or physical commitment than if you tackled difficult tasks firsts.

If one of the foremost deterrents to your productivity is simply getting going, it makes a lot of sense to save the difficult tasks for when you’re in more of a groove.

The Cons

If you eat a frog first thing in the morning, that will probably be the worst thing you do all day. — Mark Twain

On the surface, there don’t seem to necessarily be any disadvantages to doing easy tasks first. However, in Eat That Frog, the book writeen by Brian Tracy challenges that.

Based on the above quote from Mark Twain, Eat That Frog encourages avoiding procrastination, even if that procrastination is constructive. Tracy wants you to “eat that frog,” i.e. do your difficult tasks quickly because the longer it’s on your plate, the harder it will become to do the thing you’re dreading. If you have a habit of dreading things, Eat That Frog makes a solid argument to hold off on your easy tasks until later in the day.

Doing Difficult Tasks First

The Pros

Brian Tracy postulates in Eat That Frog that if you do your difficult tasks first, your other tasks won’t seem so bad. After all, after you eat a frog, even something unappetizing will seem downright delectable.

Advertising

Tracy also recommends that, if you have to eat two frogs, you should eat the uglier one first. The metaphor is a very easy way to get your head around the new concept of pre-crastination.

If all of your tasks seem somewhat torturous to you, you might be able to ease the pain by getting rid of the ugliest “toads” as quickly as you can.

The Cons

The primary disadvantage of doing your difficult tasks first is probably that it will make it especially hard to get started on your workday.

Advertising

A lot of people aren’t exactly at their peak performance mode when they enter the office. They need to ease into the workday, maybe have a cup or two of coffee to stimulate them.

If that’s you, doing your most difficult tasks first would probably be a costly mistake. Hold off on “eating those frogs” until you have the willpower and fortitude to choke them down.

Conclusion

Should you do easy or difficult tasks first? It seems like a cop-out to say that it depends on the person, but sometimes that’s the honest answer, and that is definitely the case here.

Advertising

Hopefully this article helps inform you of what type of worker you are, offering clues to whether you fall into the constructive procrastination or pre-crastination camps. Good luck on your pursuit of maximum productivity!

More Tips for Beating Procrastination

Featured photo credit: Courtney Dirks via flickr.com

Reference

Read Next