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I Love You: To Say, or Not to Say

I Love You: To Say, or Not to Say

We have all been there, deep in emotions, with our hearts fluttering. Every time you see that person who gives you butterflies in your stomach, your eyes and gestures give it away: you love them. But the age old notion, the question stays the same: Should I say it or not? When to say I love you?

Love is beautiful.

Being in love is great. It’s wonderful to find someone you love to share your life with, to start and end your day with and be happy to return to.

But it’s not easy for an individual to just determine when is the right time to confess their love to the other person.

Forget time, some are just honestly confused about whether to say it or not. This happens more often than not, to us, especially the younger lot who barely believe in love anymore.

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The best timing to speak the three magical words.

There are several things that make you wonder whether you should say those three precious words or not.

It’s the fear of rejection, the fear of getting hurt, coming across as desperate, and just constant ego clashes.

But know that, saying ‘I Love You’ at some point in your life is very important and we know exactly when is the right time for you to say it.

When you know your feeling is true.

Firstly, you need to know that if your emotions are genuine or not. It can be just be an infatuation. But once you are sure of your feelings, know that there’s no looking back.

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You are about to change the way someone looks at you forever. We’d suggest for you to wait till the other person is at ease with you. Bombarding someone with an I love you in a third date wouldn’t work well. Once the other person is comfortable with you, make sure you drop a few hints.

No, we aren’t asking you to just explicitly go around making people nervous, just tell them how much you love spending time with them and how big a part of your life they are. They need to know that they are special.

Those three words mean a lot, you are becoming each other’s most important person from then onwards in no time or you are in for a bit of embarrassment. So, don’t use it easily. It’s powerful.

Try the minimalistic approach.

There is also a set of people who believe that, these words need to be said with a gesture. That’s a misconception. We have heard terrible stories of people going overboard with shiny candles and beds of roses, and getting turned down.

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It’s good to have a gesture, but know that you will never now if you are gonna date the person from then onwards with certainty.

So keep it minimal, go for flowers, chocolates or a book they love. These little gestures can back your next move up. Do it at memorable place so that if it works out, you will have a great story to say.

Remember that love can’t be forced.

One thing we would like to mention here is that love can’t be forced. We have time and again, though Bollywood has created this pseudo reality that is pestering works to win love in return. It doesn’t.

Troubling people, following them anywhere to create scenes and borderline stalking them isn’t acceptable. True love doesn’t force, I love you isn’t your license to own people.

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Be true, like your love.

Most importantly, be brave, be confident, be genuine, don’t be superficial or shallow! Be prepared for the worst, yet be hopeful.

Know that those words behold immense power. Power to change life. Confess your love, embrace it and if you are heartbroken, pick yourself up and smile.

Because, it’s the most beautiful thing. Feel grateful you had that gift. Soak it all in its glory!

More by this author

Abhay Jeet Mishra

Writer at Lifehack & Enterested.com

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Last Updated on May 7, 2019

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Work in any competitive field long enough, and you’re bound to run into a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s a powerful image. A shepherd watches over his flock to protect them from harm. He’d chase away any predator that tried to make its way into the flock. A clever wolf wearing the skin of a sheep as a disguise can sneak by the vigilant shepherd and get into the herd undetected.

The story isn’t just a colorful description–it’s a warning to all of us to beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They may seem innocent, but they have ulterior motives. They’ll use different tactics to camouflage their intentions.

The person who is kind to you, but undercuts you when you aren’t around is a wolf in disguise. A wolf in sheep’s clothing might pick your brain for ideas and then pass them off as their own to get a promotion. They’re always looking out for themselves at the expense of everyone around them.

Wearing a Disguise Has Its Advantages

People don’t go out of their way to manipulate others unless they’re getting something out of it. Hiding their intentions gives wolves the chance to manipulate other people to advance their own agenda. They know that what they’re trying to do wouldn’t be popular, or it might cause struggle if they presented themselves honestly.

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    They’ll be able to do what they want with less interference if they put on an act. By the time people figure out their true motives, the wolf has what it wants.

    Signs That Someone Is a Wolf in Disguise

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        1. They live to take power instead of empowering others. A wolf uses people as stepping stones to get the things that they want. They don’t care what happens to anyone else.[1] A wolf at work might make you look bad during a presentation to make themselves look amazing in front of the boss.
        2. Wolves seem sweet on the outside, but they’ll show you their teeth. If wolves revealed their true identity, people wouldn’t associate with them. They develop a friendly or kind persona, but they can’t keep up the act 24/7. Eventually, they’ll reveal their aggressive tendencies. A wealthy person who likes to break the law may make sizable charitable donations to convince people that they are kind and thoughtful. These donations largely keep them out of trouble, but if someone calls them out, they destroy that person’s reputation to stifle the criticism.
        3. They manipulate through emotions to get what they want. Wolves know that they can get ahead by appealing to your emotions. They find out what you want and need, and they give you just enough to keep you quiet and compliant. Imagine that your boss is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you want to ask for a vacation. She might try to play on your guilt and feelings of insecurity to get you to skip vacation or take fewer days off.
        4. A wolf will charm you first. Wolves are experts at manipulating the people around them. They appear interested in whatever you’re doing, and you’ll get the impression that they care. After they get you where they want you, they do just enough to keep you on the hook. This is the coworker who may start out being your friend, but they end up dumping responsibility onto you. When they see that you are growing frustrated, they’ll surprise you with something to charm you some more. Then, they’ll continue to do whatever they want.
        5. Their stories are full of holes.  Calling a wolf out is the surest way to make them squirm. When this person tries to come up with a story, it won’t make much sense because they are improvising.[2] The classic example of this is the significant other that you suspect has cheated on you. When you ask them why they came home so late, they’ll either become upset with you, or they’ll make up a weak explanation.

        How to Spot a Wolf

          Know What’s Real So You Can Spot the Phony

          Do some homework so that you have as much of the story as possible before you work with them. Research how they respond in certain situations, or give them hypothetical problems to see how they respond.

          A job applicant might tell you that she’s always positive and thinks of herself as a team-player. That’s what every employer wants to hear. During the interview you ask applicants to work in groups to solve a problem to see how they handle the situation. The applicant “positive team-player” is bossy and negative. You’ve spotted the wolf.

          A wolf will tell you something that ultimately benefits them. Gather evidence that proves or disproves their position, and see what happens. Chances are, when you choose the side that supports their agenda, they’ll act like your best friend. If you disagree, they’ll become aggressive.

          Spotting a potential wolf–especially if you are one of the sheep–can present you with some challenges. If your gut tells you that a wolf is lurking among all the other sheep, pay attention, and make sure you take the next step.

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          Ask Questions, the More the Better

          There’s nothing wrong with asking questions to uncover the truth. The safety of everyone in your group is at risk. Since wolves often make up stories, you may be able to call them out when their tales lack details.

          When they state an opinion, ask “Why do you think that?” or “How do you know it’s like that?” They’ll have trouble coming up with enough information to pull off the lie.

          Since wolves are always pretending to be something they aren’t, they don’t usually have a clearly thought-out reason for what they say. In a debate, they won’t understand the root of an issue.

          They may also tell you what they think you want to hear, but when pressed for more information, they won’t have anything to add. Their knowledge is superficial. No matter how much you try to encourage discussion, they will not be able to carry on a conversation about the subject.

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          Wolves Are Everywhere

          As much as we want to believe that everyone has the best intentions, it isn’t always the case. Some people only do things to benefit themselves, and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.

          Wolves in sheep’s clothing can be found in almost every setting. You can’t get rid of them, but if you can spot them, you can avoid falling into their traps.

          Reference

          [1] Association of Biblical Counselors: Three Ways to Spot a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
          [2] Power of Positivity: Beware of a wolf in sheep’s clothing

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