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I Love You: To Say, or Not to Say

I Love You: To Say, or Not to Say

We have all been there, deep in emotions, with our hearts fluttering. Every time you see that person who gives you butterflies in your stomach, your eyes and gestures give it away: you love them. But the age old notion, the question stays the same: Should I say it or not? When to say I love you?

Love is beautiful.

Being in love is great. It’s wonderful to find someone you love to share your life with, to start and end your day with and be happy to return to.

But it’s not easy for an individual to just determine when is the right time to confess their love to the other person.

Forget time, some are just honestly confused about whether to say it or not. This happens more often than not, to us, especially the younger lot who barely believe in love anymore.

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The best timing to speak the three magical words.

There are several things that make you wonder whether you should say those three precious words or not.

It’s the fear of rejection, the fear of getting hurt, coming across as desperate, and just constant ego clashes.

But know that, saying ‘I Love You’ at some point in your life is very important and we know exactly when is the right time for you to say it.

When you know your feeling is true.

Firstly, you need to know that if your emotions are genuine or not. It can be just be an infatuation. But once you are sure of your feelings, know that there’s no looking back.

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You are about to change the way someone looks at you forever. We’d suggest for you to wait till the other person is at ease with you. Bombarding someone with an I love you in a third date wouldn’t work well. Once the other person is comfortable with you, make sure you drop a few hints.

No, we aren’t asking you to just explicitly go around making people nervous, just tell them how much you love spending time with them and how big a part of your life they are. They need to know that they are special.

Those three words mean a lot, you are becoming each other’s most important person from then onwards in no time or you are in for a bit of embarrassment. So, don’t use it easily. It’s powerful.

Try the minimalistic approach.

There is also a set of people who believe that, these words need to be said with a gesture. That’s a misconception. We have heard terrible stories of people going overboard with shiny candles and beds of roses, and getting turned down.

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It’s good to have a gesture, but know that you will never now if you are gonna date the person from then onwards with certainty.

So keep it minimal, go for flowers, chocolates or a book they love. These little gestures can back your next move up. Do it at memorable place so that if it works out, you will have a great story to say.

Remember that love can’t be forced.

One thing we would like to mention here is that love can’t be forced. We have time and again, though Bollywood has created this pseudo reality that is pestering works to win love in return. It doesn’t.

Troubling people, following them anywhere to create scenes and borderline stalking them isn’t acceptable. True love doesn’t force, I love you isn’t your license to own people.

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Be true, like your love.

Most importantly, be brave, be confident, be genuine, don’t be superficial or shallow! Be prepared for the worst, yet be hopeful.

Know that those words behold immense power. Power to change life. Confess your love, embrace it and if you are heartbroken, pick yourself up and smile.

Because, it’s the most beautiful thing. Feel grateful you had that gift. Soak it all in its glory!

More by this author

Abhay Jeet Mishra

Writer at Lifehack & Enterested.com

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Last Updated on February 1, 2019

How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful

How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful

Self awareness can be defined as having a clear understanding of your personality, including your beliefs, emotions, motivation, strengths and weaknesses.

A 2010 study by Green Peak Partners and Cornell’s School of Industrial and Labor Relations found that self awareness is a key and common characteristic of successful leaders. [1]

And research[2] by the Driehaus College of Business at De Paul University has also demonstrated that high self awareness leads to improved team performance.

Self Awareness Makes You Improve Much Faster Than the Others

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.” – Ralicoph Waldo Emerson

Self awareness allows us to understand who we are, and how others see us. From this, we can determine how similar or different we are to other people.

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Individuals with high self awareness tend to live happier and more fulfilling lives. That’s because being self aware brings several powerful benefits, including:

  • Finding and expressing your authentic self.
  • Being proactive, instead of reactive.
  • Enjoying positive and harmonious interpersonal relationships.
  • Having deeper thoughts.
  • Revealing your true purpose.

One secret behind the magic of self awareness, is the fact that being self aware allows you to see your weaknesses. Once you know what they are, you can then act accordingly to fix them (where possible).

As an example, think back to a time when you achieved a major success in your life. Your confidence jumped off the scale, and suddenly, everything in your life began to look rosy. However, success was fleeting, and before long you were not only back where you started – but had lost your initial faith and confidence too.

Instead of seeing this as bad luck or personal failure, the better response would be to analyze exactly what happened.

What caused your success? What caused your failure? And what could you have done differently?

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By answering these questions, you’ll gain insight into your decision making and personality traits. Most importantly, you’ll be able to discover where you went wrong, and how you could avoid this next time around. This is how self awareness becomes a crucial partner in reaching your dreams and goals.

How to Increase Your Self Awareness

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” – Lao-Tze

Okay, you’ve now seen some of the ways that self awareness can boost your success in life. (And we’ve only scratched the surface of potential benefits.)

It’s now time to reveal several tips and techniques that will increase your self awareness.

Take a psychometric test: You’ll understand more about yourself

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Psychometric tests are ideal for raising your self awareness. The tests force you to think deeply about yourself, and how your react to different situations. Self reflection = Self awareness. Try this free, 100-question psychometric test offered by the University of Cambridge.

Keep a personal journal: It can reduce anxiety and depression at the same time

Writing a daily journal can be a great tool for increasing your self awareness. If your writing is honest and open, you’ll quickly discover things about yourself that you’d never previously realised. You’ll also begin to see how habits create your conditions. For self awareness purposes, your daily journal should (at the very least) list your biggest failures and greatest successes of the day. Science supports the effectiveness of journalism, with a recent Psychotherapy Research study[3] showing that writing a daily journal reduced anxiety and depression.

Learn to meditate: To clear your thoughts

If you’ve never tried meditating before, then you should definitely consider trying it, if you want to boost your self awareness. Meditation can help you to delve below the incessant chatter of your conscious mind, and instead, let you tap into the depths of your subconscious mind. As well as boosting your well-being and health, meditation can clear your thoughts, and help you to become more creative.[4]

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How to get started? There are plenty of books and videos that can teach you the basics of meditation. Alternatively, you’ll be sure to find mediation classes in your local area.

Ask for feedback: You’ll be amazed

Choose a close family member or friend who knows you well. Ask then to give you an honest appraisal of your actions, beliefs and motivations. You’ll be amazed (and possibly shocked!) at what you hear. In fact, it’s likely that you’ll gain a completely new perspective on yourself. Use this new knowledge to make positive changes that could increase your effectiveness and success in life.

Through boosting your self awareness, you’ll begin to see new, exciting opportunities for growth and success. You’ll also learn how others see you. This will help your interpersonal relationships – as well as your ability to read others.

Self awareness can help you predict the success of others. It can also help you predict your own success.

So, choose to follow in the footsteps of the highly-successful, and start developing your self awareness today.

Reference

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