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How To Tell Someone You Love Them Subtly Yet Sweetly (100 Ways Provided)

How To Tell Someone You Love Them Subtly Yet Sweetly (100 Ways Provided)
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For all of their love, strength, and beauty, relationships can be fragile things and, much like a delicate plant, must be watered and fed if you want them to survive.

The biggest reason couples fall out of love is simple: they don’t feel loved by their partner. Why? Because even though they may say “I love you” at the end of phone calls and before heading off to work, those words have no magic if not backed by thousands of other simple gestures.

100 small things to make someone feel loved

  1. Don’t forget to hug before you say goodbye. Physical gestures often go undervalued after a relationship has been going on for a while.
  2. Tell them how special they are to you. This goes beyond just saying, “I love you”.
  3. Express understanding when it’s needed by saying, “I understand how you feel.” If you don’t understand, express your desire to by saying something like, “Tell me how you feel so that I can understand.”
  4. Tell them frequently how much you appreciate it when they do things for you. We often get used to how much our spouses or partners do for us and tend to forget how much easier they make our lives.
  5. Tell them how much you enjoy certain aspects of their personality. For example, “I love your sense of humor.” You need to be praised for who you are and so do they.
  6. Go an entire day with your partner without saying anything but positive praise. You can make this as frequent a practice as you like.
  7. Fix your partner their favorite food without them asking.
  8. Offer to help cook.
  9. If you have kids, offer to take them out so your partner can spend some relaxing time alone. Alone time is important!
  10. Send an intimate text message to your partner for no reason.
  11. Email your partner while they’re at work just to see how they’re doing.
  12. Call your partner when they’re on break just to say hi.
  13. Reach across the car, the table, or the couch to touch their hand, if only for a moment.
  14. Pull out their chair, or open the door for them- chivalry, guys!
  15. Remember to give them a smile. I don’t mean smile at them or fake it. I mean giving them their own personal smile- the one you save for them.
  16. Instead of taking your frustrations out on them after a hard day, say, “I really needed to see you today because … “, or, “I had a hard day and I need a hug.” They probably aren’t the cause of your bad mood, so let them help you out.
  17. Joke and laugh, and laugh with them.
  18. Go to bed at the same time for a week. Talk or read together, or just sit quietly.
  19. If you have children, compliment your partner or spouse in front of them. This will make your kids happy, too!
  20. Brag about your partner in public. Yes, they may turn beet red if they’re shy, but they’ll appreciate it.
  21. Try to avoid their pet peeves (e.g. sponge left in the sink or toilet seat left up). You may think they’re silly but it’s important to them.
  22. Light a candle or two when you have dinner together to make the atmosphere more romantic, just because.
  23. Find creative ways to tell each other “I love you” in code.
  24. Have date nights. Go out or stay in, but make the night about one another.
  25. Pick her some flowers.
  26. Offer to watch a movie with them that they like.
  27. Give them a massage after a long day, or for no reason at all.
  28. Tell them they’re your best friend.
  29. Don’t be shy about sharing your feelings. Let them know if you’re happy or unhappy at the moment, and why.
  30. Listen when they tell you how they’re feeling.
  31. Buy small “just because” presents outside of a holiday or birthday.
  32. Write intimate messages on a piece of paper and slip it into their bag for them to find.
  33. Hold hands in public.
  34. Take lessons together. It doesn’t matter what kind.
  35. Apologize when you make a mistake.
  36. Let them be right sometimes.
  37. Play games from your childhood together.
  38. Give your partner space when they need it. But let them know you’re there when they need you.
  39. Run a hot bath for your partner when they seem stressed.
  40. Wash your partner’s car for them.
  41. Put a cute little toy that reminds them of you in their glove compartment.
  42. Try to do one random act of kindness every day for your partner.
  43. Try new activities together. Challenging ones are the best.
  44. Take a day off work every once in a while to spend doing nothing together.
  45. Let your partner sleep in. Turn off their alarm.
  46. And bring them breakfast in bed.
  47. Remind your partner that they’re hot or sexy.
  48. Take bike rides or go for walks together.
  49. Wear matching outfits every so often.
  50. Keep your partner’s favorite snacks on hand at all times.
  51. Volunteer together.
  52. Do each other’s hair.
  53. Create goals as a couple. They can be about fitness, finance, personal-growth, etc.
  54. Take an unplanned vacation together.
  55. Plan a special day for your partner.
  56. Use a photo of them as the wallpaper on your phone, and show them that.
  57. Do a chore that he/she usually does.
  58. Keep a shared journal between the two of you.
  59. Accompany him to game night/football night and be “one of the guys”.
  60. Take time to get to know your partner’s friends.
  61. Let your partner have a guys/girls night out sometimes.
  62. Put on your partner’s favorite song or music and invite them to dance.
  63. Be silly sometimes. Make fun of yourselves. Don’t be too serious.
  64. Sing for your partner or play them something if you’re instrumentally inclined.
  65. Tell them, “I’m more in love with you than I was yesterday.”
  66. When you’re having a bad day, lighten the mood by saying, “I hate everything today– but you’re pretty cool, as always.”
  67. Tell them that you think they’re even more attractive than when you met them.
  68. Tell them you were thinking about them.
  69. Tell them you support them.
  70. Tell them you love their body and mind.
  71. Tell them what made you happy today, and how it reminded you of them.
  72. Ask them how their day was.
  73. Say good morning every day.
  74. Say goodnight every night.
  75. Make sure they know you’re their “number one”.
  76. Show your partner you respect them by listening to their opinions on important decisions, and actually act on them.
  77. Tell them you appreciate what’s good about their opinions, even when you disagree with them.
  78. Lovingly tease them. Call them names too sickeningly sweet for anyone else.
  79. Flirt! Everyone enjoys flirting.
  80. Ask them to choose your outfit for work.
  81. Go to the gym together.
  82. Write a poem or song for your partner, even if it’s goofy.
  83. Make your partner a sweet card for no reason at all.
  84. Recreate your first date, run-in, kiss, etc.
  85. If you’re crafty, make them something. It doesn’t have to be useful, but make sure it’s adorable and reminds them of you.
  86. Tell them you’re lucky to have them. Tell them how you’ve changed since you met them.
  87. Be truthful. Let them know about the naughty mistakes you’ve made.
  88. Be gentle about pointing out your partner’s flaws. They may need to hear it, but always softly.
  89. Show your partner how you trust them. Don’t feel the need to know their whereabouts if they don’t open up first.
  90. Buy your partner a gift certificate for their favorite store.
  91. Never blame your bad mood on your partner.
  92. Write them a story about your love.
  93. Make a picture collage of the two of you.
  94. Do something silly together.
  95. Invite their family to dinner (if they’re on good terms, that is).
  96. Make a playlist of your favorite songs as a couple and play it on a road trip.
  97. Rent some cheesy romance movies.
  98. Ask your partner to share their dreams with you.
  99. Laugh when they joke, even if the joke isn’t funny.
  100. Make it easy for them to love you. You’ll find that they’ll act in kind.

More by this author

Marina Richter

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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