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You Know What Kind Of People You Want But Do You Know What Kind Of Romance Attracts You The Most?

You Know What Kind Of People You Want But Do You Know What Kind Of Romance Attracts You The Most?

We always have our own set of answers when it comes to “What kind of people you want to be with?” or “What kind of people attract you the most?”

Some might focus more on personality and their answers will typically be “I like people who are funny, caring, responsible and commit to the relationship.”

There are people who might be more concerned about appearance, some people I know even have a checklist on “How my dream guy/woman should look like” and they will search for their “the one” based on that list.

    We tend to develop a set of criteria while searching the love of our lives.

    I think that’s totally fine because everyone has their own standards about how they should pick the love of their lives.

    However, I have come across the idea that most people ended up being with a person that’s totally different to what they originally pursuit. That’s interesting, right?

      We are so concerned about the type of person we want but we seldom talk about what kind of romance we desire.

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      Which one is more important? The Sex of Your Partner or the Romance he/she can offer?

        Sexual orientation is about who you can be sexually attracted but Romantic orientation describes who you will be romantically attracted. Although we talk a lot about sexual orientation, romantic orientation is actually more important as it determines who and how you will form a relationship with.

        You can have a clearer picture of what kind of relationship you TRULY want by understanding the type of romance that attracts you the most.

        After all, you cannot start a relationship with a person who failed to get you emotionally engaged, even if he/she fits all your “requirements”.

        So let’s take a look different kinds of orientations in the Aromantic spectrum!

        Apothiromantic – “I don’t need romance in my life”

        People who are apothiromantic do not need any romance in their lives. They are romance repulsed and do not experience any romantic relationships. They enjoy relationships such as pure friendships and bondings with their families.

          families and friends are more important compare to romance

          There is no rule in the world that says being in love is a must. It’s ok if you feel like you don’t need it in your life.

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            Although society nowadays has shaped our minds to think “Single people are sad.”, it’s important to understand that being in love is a want instead of a need, and just because you don’t think the same as what the majority do doesn’t mean you are wrong.

            Families and friends can also make our lives fruitful and happy too!

            Requiesromantic- “Love hurts so I don’t want it”

            This group of people they don’t really want to be in a relationship because of mental or emotional exhaustion.

              One serious heartbreak can damage someone’s life

              They might have had bad relationship experiences before and feel tired about starting it over again. They refuse to be in a love or even being romantically attracted just to protect themselves from being hurt again.

                People who’ve been hurt before will eventually shut down themselves emotionally.

                One failed relationship doesn’t define you, as a person or a partner. You need to understand there are lots of factors that can affect a relationship.a healthy and sustainable relationship needs two people’s effort instead of one.

                  Remember there are lots of factors that affect a relationship

                  A healthy and sustainable relationship needs two people’s effort instead of one.

                  So if you fall into this group, it’ ok to feel insecure and feel free to take some time off. Reflect on your previous relationship when you are ready.

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                  See what lessons you can take away, embrace and love yourself and I am sure you will meet your Mr/Mrs. Right in your life!

                  Lithromantic- “I enjoy loving you but please don’t love me back.”

                  People who are Lithromantic enjoy being in a relationship but they don’t want the feeling to be reciprocated. They don’t want to develop a relationship with their crush and some of them might lose their affection once in a relationship.

                    when the love reciprocates, the person will feel uncomfortable

                    This group of people they enjoy the feeling of “being in love”, they have a belief that once they started a relationship, all the affection and romance will not be the same as before and that’s not the love they enjoy.

                    Responsibilities scare some of them too.

                    Feelings in a relationship are constantly changing. It’s a natural process that every couple will encounter. Don’t see it as a bad thing because it means the relationship is getting more mature and you value your partner as a family.

                    And keep it in mind that you need to take the other person’s feeling into account. If you don’t want to be in a relationship you need to make it clear so he/she won’t get hurt!

                    Quoiromantic- “Love is confusing. Am I in love or not?”

                    People who are in this group are often unsure about emotional attraction or feel like romantic attraction is inapplicable or inaccessible.

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                      Can’t distinguish when it’s an act of love or just friends

                      They find it hard to distinguish the difference between romantic attractions and other attractions.

                      Not fully understand themselves and lack of experience maybe the reasons why they failed to process the feelings they have.

                        lack of experience can sometimes be a problem.

                        Before starting a relationship, it’s important for you to know and understand yourself. This doesn’t only help you pick the right person but also saving you from getting into confusing and heart-breaking relationships.

                        The feeling of love is hard to describe and if you are really confused, try to seek advice from your friends or even parents, listen to their experiences and you will get more ideas on how love should feel like.

                        The first thing you might want to look for is to feel comfortable about yourself and being with that person.

                        Know Yourself and change your focus from now

                        Maybe you won’t fall into any of this group or you are a mix of different kinds, it’s important to understand that you should focus on what kind of relationship you want instead what kind of person you are looking for.

                        I hope this piece of advice can help you understand yourself before getting into any relationships or give answers to some of your current relationship struggles.

                        More by this author

                        Jolie Choi

                        Having experienced her own extreme transformation process, Jolie strongly believes that staying healthy takes determined and consistent action.

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                        Last Updated on January 21, 2020

                        How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

                        How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

                        If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

                        Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

                        So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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                        1. Listen

                        Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

                        2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

                        Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

                        “Why do you want to do that?”

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                        “What makes you so excited about it?”

                        “How long has that been your dream?”

                        You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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                        3. Encourage

                        This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

                        4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

                        After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

                        5. Dream

                        This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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                        6. Ask How You Can Help

                        Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

                        7. Follow Up

                        Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

                        Final Thoughts

                        By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

                        Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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                        Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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