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You Know What Kind Of People You Want But Do You Know What Kind Of Romance Attracts You The Most?

You Know What Kind Of People You Want But Do You Know What Kind Of Romance Attracts You The Most?

We always have our own set of answers when it comes to “What kind of people you want to be with?” or “What kind of people attract you the most?”

Some might focus more on personality and their answers will typically be “I like people who are funny, caring, responsible and commit to the relationship.”

There are people who might be more concerned about appearance, some people I know even have a checklist on “How my dream guy/woman should look like” and they will search for their “the one” based on that list.

    We tend to develop a set of criteria while searching the love of our lives.

    I think that’s totally fine because everyone has their own standards about how they should pick the love of their lives.

    However, I have come across the idea that most people ended up being with a person that’s totally different to what they originally pursuit. That’s interesting, right?

      We are so concerned about the type of person we want but we seldom talk about what kind of romance we desire.

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      Which one is more important? The Sex of Your Partner or the Romance he/she can offer?

        Sexual orientation is about who you can be sexually attracted but Romantic orientation describes who you will be romantically attracted. Although we talk a lot about sexual orientation, romantic orientation is actually more important as it determines who and how you will form a relationship with.

        You can have a clearer picture of what kind of relationship you TRULY want by understanding the type of romance that attracts you the most.

        After all, you cannot start a relationship with a person who failed to get you emotionally engaged, even if he/she fits all your “requirements”.

        So let’s take a look different kinds of orientations in the Aromantic spectrum!

        Apothiromantic – “I don’t need romance in my life”

        People who are apothiromantic do not need any romance in their lives. They are romance repulsed and do not experience any romantic relationships. They enjoy relationships such as pure friendships and bondings with their families.

          families and friends are more important compare to romance

          There is no rule in the world that says being in love is a must. It’s ok if you feel like you don’t need it in your life.

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            Although society nowadays has shaped our minds to think “Single people are sad.”, it’s important to understand that being in love is a want instead of a need, and just because you don’t think the same as what the majority do doesn’t mean you are wrong.

            Families and friends can also make our lives fruitful and happy too!

            Requiesromantic- “Love hurts so I don’t want it”

            This group of people they don’t really want to be in a relationship because of mental or emotional exhaustion.

              One serious heartbreak can damage someone’s life

              They might have had bad relationship experiences before and feel tired about starting it over again. They refuse to be in a love or even being romantically attracted just to protect themselves from being hurt again.

                People who’ve been hurt before will eventually shut down themselves emotionally.

                One failed relationship doesn’t define you, as a person or a partner. You need to understand there are lots of factors that can affect a relationship.a healthy and sustainable relationship needs two people’s effort instead of one.

                  Remember there are lots of factors that affect a relationship

                  A healthy and sustainable relationship needs two people’s effort instead of one.

                  So if you fall into this group, it’ ok to feel insecure and feel free to take some time off. Reflect on your previous relationship when you are ready.

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                  See what lessons you can take away, embrace and love yourself and I am sure you will meet your Mr/Mrs. Right in your life!

                  Lithromantic- “I enjoy loving you but please don’t love me back.”

                  People who are Lithromantic enjoy being in a relationship but they don’t want the feeling to be reciprocated. They don’t want to develop a relationship with their crush and some of them might lose their affection once in a relationship.

                    when the love reciprocates, the person will feel uncomfortable

                    This group of people they enjoy the feeling of “being in love”, they have a belief that once they started a relationship, all the affection and romance will not be the same as before and that’s not the love they enjoy.

                    Responsibilities scare some of them too.

                    Feelings in a relationship are constantly changing. It’s a natural process that every couple will encounter. Don’t see it as a bad thing because it means the relationship is getting more mature and you value your partner as a family.

                    And keep it in mind that you need to take the other person’s feeling into account. If you don’t want to be in a relationship you need to make it clear so he/she won’t get hurt!

                    Quoiromantic- “Love is confusing. Am I in love or not?”

                    People who are in this group are often unsure about emotional attraction or feel like romantic attraction is inapplicable or inaccessible.

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                      Can’t distinguish when it’s an act of love or just friends

                      They find it hard to distinguish the difference between romantic attractions and other attractions.

                      Not fully understand themselves and lack of experience maybe the reasons why they failed to process the feelings they have.

                        lack of experience can sometimes be a problem.

                        Before starting a relationship, it’s important for you to know and understand yourself. This doesn’t only help you pick the right person but also saving you from getting into confusing and heart-breaking relationships.

                        The feeling of love is hard to describe and if you are really confused, try to seek advice from your friends or even parents, listen to their experiences and you will get more ideas on how love should feel like.

                        The first thing you might want to look for is to feel comfortable about yourself and being with that person.

                        Know Yourself and change your focus from now

                        Maybe you won’t fall into any of this group or you are a mix of different kinds, it’s important to understand that you should focus on what kind of relationship you want instead what kind of person you are looking for.

                        I hope this piece of advice can help you understand yourself before getting into any relationships or give answers to some of your current relationship struggles.

                        More by this author

                        Jolie Choi

                        Gone through a few heartbreaks and lost hundreds of friends but I am still happy with my life.

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                        Last Updated on August 15, 2018

                        5 Reasons Why Tidying Your Room Can Change Your Life

                        5 Reasons Why Tidying Your Room Can Change Your Life

                        You step into your room and stumble upon something hard that hurts you, you have to tiptoe your way to your bed because there is not enough space to walk, your bed has huge piles of clothing spread everywhere, your table groans under books, newspapers, cups, and all other kinds of stuff, and your closet looks like a ransacked outlet store post-Black Friday. If that’s a common scenario for you, then you are living in a space that disrupts your ability to use it well.

                        Your room is the place where you start and end your day. Whether you are aware of it or not, the physical space in which you live and spend a lot of your time has an important role to play in how we behave. Having a bedroom in such a messed state can have a variety of effects on your life. Our mind cannot live completely independent from our environment; therefore, keeping the room tidy, organized, and clean is significant. A straightened room with a made bed and pile-free floor will not only bring happiness and organization to your life, it will also change your life!

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                        Video Summary

                        Here are five reasons that can spark the desire in you for tidying your room to create change in your life.

                        1. You will know what resources you have

                        Do you find yourself looking everywhere for your matching bracelet or clothes when going for a party or out with friends? Or does it happen that you buy a pair of pants, only to find out later that you had a better one to match the shirt you were wearing to the event? Keeping your bedroom tidy will let you know what things you have – the shoes, clothes, jewelry, books, magazines, and stationary – that are among your belongings so that you don’t have to rummage for them everywhere or go and buy new things when you already have better alternatives.

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                        2. Your thoughts will also be tidied up

                        Tidying your place also tidies up your mind. It is suggested by psychologists that a messy room is a representation of a disorganized mental state. When one is tidy and organized it also builds into their life, helping them in everything.

                        As Marie Kondo states in The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, “From the moment you start tidying, you will be compelled to reset your life. As a result, your life will start to change.” So, if you want to bring a change to your life, go ahead with cleaning and organizing your space and start a tidying marathon.

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                        3. Tidying your room can save you time

                        Tidying your room and organizing your space not only lets you know about the stuff that you have, but it can also save you a lot of time, since you will know where to find something when you need it. Now, when you wake up early in the morning, you don’t have to search frantically as minutes tick by for your special pair of shoes, your watch, or the blouse that you really wanted to wear. The start of your day will be a smooth one instead, and you will be able to make it out of the door to your work or college on time.

                        4. You will be more social

                        Would you like your friend to see your messy room? I would probably be too embarrassed if my friend came over and got to look at my room in a messy state. When you are ashamed of the state of your bedroom, it is less likelihood that you invite anyone over. On the other hand, when your house is clean, you are ready for company and are also more likely to invite or welcome someone over on the spur of the moment. Tidying your room helps in preventing the creation of a boundary around you; therefore, you will become more social.

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                        5. Your health will improve

                        Tidying your room also bring with itself some health benefits. When your bedroom becomes a peaceful and ordered place with no clutter around, you will feel less stressed and less distracted. This means you can spend some relaxing time before bed and go to sleep calmly. From studies, it has been found that those who have cluttered bedrooms full of their hoardings take a long time to fall asleep and their sleep quality is also poor enough that it leads an increase chance of depression and stress. It’s clear enough. Tidying your room will have a positive effect on your health and the thought of going to the bedroom would be a pleasant and calming one. Not just this, but a tidy room will no more be home to bacteria and viruses that can compromise your health.

                        Conclusion

                        No doubt, cleaning up a really messy room and streamlining your surroundings is no easy job but, with a little determination and taking a methodical approach, it is totally doable. You just need to get started. Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, one of New York Times Best Sellers, can serve as the perfect manual to guide you. Happy Cleaning!

                        Featured photo credit: Allen Goldblatt via flickr.com

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