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You Know What Kind Of People You Want But Do You Know What Kind Of Romance Attracts You The Most?

You Know What Kind Of People You Want But Do You Know What Kind Of Romance Attracts You The Most?

We always have our own set of answers when it comes to “What kind of people you want to be with?” or “What kind of people attract you the most?”

Some might focus more on personality and their answers will typically be “I like people who are funny, caring, responsible and commit to the relationship.”

There are people who might be more concerned about appearance, some people I know even have a checklist on “How my dream guy/woman should look like” and they will search for their “the one” based on that list.

    We tend to develop a set of criteria while searching the love of our lives.

    I think that’s totally fine because everyone has their own standards about how they should pick the love of their lives.

    However, I have come across the idea that most people ended up being with a person that’s totally different to what they originally pursuit. That’s interesting, right?

      We are so concerned about the type of person we want but we seldom talk about what kind of romance we desire.

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      Which one is more important? The Sex of Your Partner or the Romance he/she can offer?

        Sexual orientation is about who you can be sexually attracted but Romantic orientation describes who you will be romantically attracted. Although we talk a lot about sexual orientation, romantic orientation is actually more important as it determines who and how you will form a relationship with.

        You can have a clearer picture of what kind of relationship you TRULY want by understanding the type of romance that attracts you the most.

        After all, you cannot start a relationship with a person who failed to get you emotionally engaged, even if he/she fits all your “requirements”.

        So let’s take a look different kinds of orientations in the Aromantic spectrum!

        Apothiromantic – “I don’t need romance in my life”

        People who are apothiromantic do not need any romance in their lives. They are romance repulsed and do not experience any romantic relationships. They enjoy relationships such as pure friendships and bondings with their families.

          families and friends are more important compare to romance

          There is no rule in the world that says being in love is a must. It’s ok if you feel like you don’t need it in your life.

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            Although society nowadays has shaped our minds to think “Single people are sad.”, it’s important to understand that being in love is a want instead of a need, and just because you don’t think the same as what the majority do doesn’t mean you are wrong.

            Families and friends can also make our lives fruitful and happy too!

            Requiesromantic- “Love hurts so I don’t want it”

            This group of people they don’t really want to be in a relationship because of mental or emotional exhaustion.

              One serious heartbreak can damage someone’s life

              They might have had bad relationship experiences before and feel tired about starting it over again. They refuse to be in a love or even being romantically attracted just to protect themselves from being hurt again.

                People who’ve been hurt before will eventually shut down themselves emotionally.

                One failed relationship doesn’t define you, as a person or a partner. You need to understand there are lots of factors that can affect a relationship.a healthy and sustainable relationship needs two people’s effort instead of one.

                  Remember there are lots of factors that affect a relationship

                  A healthy and sustainable relationship needs two people’s effort instead of one.

                  So if you fall into this group, it’ ok to feel insecure and feel free to take some time off. Reflect on your previous relationship when you are ready.

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                  See what lessons you can take away, embrace and love yourself and I am sure you will meet your Mr/Mrs. Right in your life!

                  Lithromantic- “I enjoy loving you but please don’t love me back.”

                  People who are Lithromantic enjoy being in a relationship but they don’t want the feeling to be reciprocated. They don’t want to develop a relationship with their crush and some of them might lose their affection once in a relationship.

                    when the love reciprocates, the person will feel uncomfortable

                    This group of people they enjoy the feeling of “being in love”, they have a belief that once they started a relationship, all the affection and romance will not be the same as before and that’s not the love they enjoy.

                    Responsibilities scare some of them too.

                    Feelings in a relationship are constantly changing. It’s a natural process that every couple will encounter. Don’t see it as a bad thing because it means the relationship is getting more mature and you value your partner as a family.

                    And keep it in mind that you need to take the other person’s feeling into account. If you don’t want to be in a relationship you need to make it clear so he/she won’t get hurt!

                    Quoiromantic- “Love is confusing. Am I in love or not?”

                    People who are in this group are often unsure about emotional attraction or feel like romantic attraction is inapplicable or inaccessible.

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                      Can’t distinguish when it’s an act of love or just friends

                      They find it hard to distinguish the difference between romantic attractions and other attractions.

                      Not fully understand themselves and lack of experience maybe the reasons why they failed to process the feelings they have.

                        lack of experience can sometimes be a problem.

                        Before starting a relationship, it’s important for you to know and understand yourself. This doesn’t only help you pick the right person but also saving you from getting into confusing and heart-breaking relationships.

                        The feeling of love is hard to describe and if you are really confused, try to seek advice from your friends or even parents, listen to their experiences and you will get more ideas on how love should feel like.

                        The first thing you might want to look for is to feel comfortable about yourself and being with that person.

                        Know Yourself and change your focus from now

                        Maybe you won’t fall into any of this group or you are a mix of different kinds, it’s important to understand that you should focus on what kind of relationship you want instead what kind of person you are looking for.

                        I hope this piece of advice can help you understand yourself before getting into any relationships or give answers to some of your current relationship struggles.

                        More by this author

                        Jolie Choi

                        Gone through a few heartbreaks and lost hundreds of friends but I am still happy with my life.

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                        Last Updated on October 18, 2018

                        50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

                        50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

                        Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

                        It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

                        It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

                        Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

                        Quotes for self-assurance

                        1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

                          2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

                            3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

                              4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

                                5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

                                  6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

                                    Quotes about positivity

                                    7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                                      8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                                        9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                                          10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                                            11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                                              12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                                                13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                                                  Quotes for work and success

                                                  14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                                                    15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                                      16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                                        17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                                          18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                                            19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                                              20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                                                21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                                                  22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                                                    23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                                      24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                                        25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                                          26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                                            27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                                              28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                                                29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                                                  30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                                                    31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                                      32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                                        33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                                          34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                                            35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                                              36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                                                37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                                                  38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                                                    39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                                      40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                                        41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                                          42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                                            43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                                              44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                                                45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                                                  Quotes about money

                                                                                                                  46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                                                    47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                                      48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                                        49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                                          50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                                            51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                                              If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                                              How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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