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Want To Live A More Fulfilling Life? You Need To Understand This Concept First

Want To Live A More Fulfilling Life? You Need To Understand This Concept First

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw

If you’ve ever asked someone for advice about life, chances are you were told, “Just be yourself,” “Do what you love and the money will follow,” or the classic phrase by Joseph Campbell, “Follow your bliss”.  So you rack your brain trying to find the bliss. You’re good at Instagram captions, Facebook comments, buying lots of books and never reading them.

The truth is, you want nothing more than to be successful and live a wonderful life. You want to be a #forceofone. You want to be a #successgenius. You want to be someone you’re proud of. You’ve accomplished things. Difficult things and challenging things. You understand gratitude. You want to be thankful for what you have and still dream bigger. You know you’re a hard worker. You love hard work. You’re so sick and tired that you’re willing to go through anything to get you out of this place. You simply could not have been put on this earth to suffer this mediocrity. There’s got to be more.

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To some people who have achieved many things in their life, have a feeling of dissatisfaction is worse. Some feel like they’ve been living a lie: that who they appear to be on the outside doesn’t quite match who they are on the inside. After all of the work it takes to get anywhere in this world, it’s quite a shock to realize that you haven’t accomplished anything in life that really matters to you. It’s like climbing the ladder of success until you reach the top to find out the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.

Time For Reinvention

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” – Albert Einstein

When you’re struggling with finding fulfillment, you may need to make some changes. Change means reinvention. To create something new. This is a concept you may struggle with because you might believe you were created with certain characteristics that determine who you are and what you will become. Nothing is further from the truth. You’re capable of creating anything you desire and you’re intelligent enough to know this. So stop letting other people define who you are. Don’t allow your past accomplishments define what you can and cannot do.

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Treat reinvention as a call to action. Getting to choose how you will shape your interests and desires and what work you will put into becoming the person you desire. I won’t lie to you. This is not easy. Change is not easy. You need to be willing to devote the time and energy to clear away those thoughts that limit you and instead focus on your desires. And then commit to doing anything and everything to move yourself in the right direction.

A Recipe for Bliss

“To live in infinite bliss, practice mindfulness and live in the moment.” – Debasisch Mridha

Living in the moment means not to dwell on the past. Remember, your past does not define you so don’t let it. Always be mindful of your thoughts because they can betray you. You can find some advice about that here. Let’s focus on some steps you can take today that will help you on your journey to reinvention.

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1. Create a vision of your desired future.

Visualization is a very powerful method for manifesting. If you imagine yourself already living the life you desire or having the things you desire, chances are very high you will attain it.

Find a quiet place, sit down and close your eyes. Imagine the future you want. Live it. See yourself going through the motions, actually moving through it. Allow yourself to experience the feelings and emotions. Visualize the sun light of the sun glowing on your face.

Stand up and express your gratitude appreciation for everything in the past. Now imagine yourself walking away from the past and toward your future.

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2. Use visual reminders of your desired future.

Use anything that reminds you of what you’re moving toward. It can be pictures or written affirmations. Place them where you can see them every day.

3. Take the vision of your future and break it into workable tasks.

This is where to rubber hits the road. This where you commit. Make a list of everything you need to do and be specific. Work on accomplishing the tasks on your list every day. Here is a blueprint for long term success to help you.

4. Every day, visualize your desired future.

Take time either first thing in the morning or at bedtime to visualize the future you created in step 1. This will reinforce your stated desire and give you confidence to keep moving  forward. Make this a daily occurrence and eventually it will become a habit.

Living a more fulfilling life takes responsibility and courage to look at yourself in the mirror and be brutally honest about what really matters to you. To understand that you have the ability to recreate yourself and you get to choose what you want your life to be: to be the architect of a new life of fulfillment on your terms. Make that choice and accept the challenge.

More by this author

Anthony Pica

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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