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20 Movies For People Who Are Having A Quarter-Life Crisis

20 Movies For People Who Are Having A Quarter-Life Crisis

Do you remember when you were younger and just couldn’t wait to grow up? And now, here you are, a full-fledged adult with a career, commitments, and bills. It’s not quite what you hoped for, right? This whole being an adult thing is just a little overwhelming and not that exciting. In fact, it can be pretty disappointing.

You’re not alone; almost everybody goes through this phase somewhere between their late 20s and early 30s — it’s called the quarter-life crisis. You start to feel trapped by your job or your relationship, and you just want out of it all. It can be a very confusing and painful time in your life.

Below are 20 movies that are truly inspirational that can relieve the pain and even motivate you.

1. Into the Wild

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    “When you want something in life, you just gotta reach out and grab it.”

    This is the true story of a young man going through a quarter-life crisis. He leaves home in search of adventure in the Alaskan wilderness.

    2. The Fault in Our Stars

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      “The world is not a wish-granting factory.”

      This is the heartwarming story of two teenage cancer patients who fall in love. They bond over reading the same book and set out to meet the author.

      3. Whiplash

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        “I’d rather die drunk, broke at 34, and have people at a dinner table talk about me than live to be rich and sober at 90, and nobody remembered who I was.”

        Whiplash is about the struggles of a young, talented drummer who gets into a prestigious music academy. He develops a complex relationship with his aggressive instructor, who tries to push him to greatness.

        4. 500 Days of Summer

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          “People change. Feelings change. It doesn’t mean that the love once shared wasn’t true and real. It simply just means that sometimes, when people grow, they grow apart.”

          500 Days of Summer is a romantic comedy about a girl who doesn’t believe in true love and a guy who has been waiting for true love his whole life. It’s a great reminder that no matter how bad things seem in your life, they can always get better.

          5. About Time

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            “We’re all traveling through time together, every day of our lives. All we can do is do our best to relish this remarkable ride.”

            About Time is about a 21-year-old-man who is going through his own quarter-life crisis. When he discovers that he can travel through time, he decides to improve his love life.

            6. Garden State

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              “If you can’t laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you’d like…What do you do? You laugh, you know. I’m not saying I don’t cry, but in between, I laugh.”

              Garden State is a great movie to help you with your quarter-life crisis. It revolves around two characters who are transitioning into adulthood, dealing with death, and learning from the past.

              7. The Devil Wears Prada

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                “I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.”

                This movie is great if your quarter-life crisis was brought on by career stress. The Devil Wears Prada is the story of a girl who lands her dream job but has a difficult boss.

                8. Walking and Talking

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                  “I wonder if I’ll ever know what it’s like to not break up with someone.”

                  Walking and Talking is the perfect movie about life changes and how close friends are not always on the same path.

                  9. Almost Famous

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                    “You’ll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.”

                    Almost Famous is all about taking risks to get what you want. Sixteen-year-old William sets out to become a rock-and-roll journalist. He ends up learning quite a bit about life along the way.

                    10. About Alex

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                      “Judgment has a way of creeping into every relationship — even the most intimate. If we’re lucky, somewhere along the way, we meet a few people who listen to us without criticism or reproach. We call those people our friends.”

                      This movie is about a group of friends who come together for the weekend. They are there to support a friend after his suicide attempt. Coming together brings back a lot of old, unresolved issues.

                      11. Beaches

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                        “What will I do without a best friend?”

                        This movie is about two best friends who support each other through the quarter-life crisis, divorce, illness, and loss.

                        12. Office Space

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                          “So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.”

                          This is another excellent movie about working in a dead-end job with a terrible boss.

                          13. Good Will Hunting

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                            “You’ll have bad times, but it’ll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren’t paying attention to.”

                            Matt Damon plays a math genius working as a janitor at M.I.T. who goes through a quarter-life crisis.

                            14. The Graduate

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                              “It’s like I was playing some kind of game, but the rules don’t make any sense to me. They’re being made up by all the wrong people.”

                              This movie portrays the classic quarter-life crisis. Ben finishes college at the top of his class, but what is he going to do next?

                              15. Reality Bites

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                                “Welcome to the world of the emotionally mature.”

                                Friends graduate from college and have to face adulthood. Their quarter-life crises are all about looking for love and work.

                                16. Amazing Grace

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                                  “…we’re too young to realize certain things are impossible, which is why we will do them anyway.”

                                  Amazing Grace is the story of a young man who fights against the British slave trade. It’s a reminder to anyone going through a quarter-life crisis that sometimes, it can take years of difficult, painful, and depressing work to achieve lifetime goals.

                                  17. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

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                                    “To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.”

                                    In this movie, Ben Stiller plays Walter Mitty, a man who has diligently worked at the same job for years. Unhappy and about to lose his job, he takes off on an international adventure in an attempt to find himself.

                                    18. People Places Things

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                                      “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just having a bad life. It’ll be over eventually.”

                                      People Places Things is about a newly divorced man and how he tries to get over his ex-wife while balancing his new life, his career, and parenting.

                                      19. Young Adult

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                                        “Sometimes, in order to heal, a few people have to get hurt.”

                                        A newly divorced woman returns to her hometown while she is going through her quarter-life crisis. Things aren’t as she left them, however, and she must learn to deal with the changes.

                                        20. Silver Linings Playbook

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                                          “If clouds are blocking the sun, there will always be a silver lining that reminds me to keep on trying.”

                                          Silver Linings Playbook is about a man who gets divorced, spends time in a mental institution, and moves back in with his parents. He has to learn to navigate his feelings about his ex-wife and a new girl he meets.

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                                          Amber Pariona

                                          EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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                                          1 Why an Attitude of Gratitude Is Essential (And How to Develop It) 2 Procrastination Is a Matter of Emotion, Here’s How to Stop It 3 What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It) 4 How to Get Unstuck in Life and Live a More Fulfilling Life 5 What Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positive People?

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                                          Last Updated on March 30, 2020

                                          What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

                                          What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

                                          Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

                                          You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

                                          This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

                                          What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

                                          According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

                                          Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

                                          There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

                                          How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

                                          When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

                                          Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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                                          1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

                                          One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

                                          The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

                                          Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

                                          2. Be Honest

                                          A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

                                          If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

                                          On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

                                          Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

                                          3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

                                          Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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                                          If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

                                          4. Succeed at Something

                                          When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

                                          Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

                                          5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

                                          Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

                                          Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

                                          If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

                                          If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

                                          Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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                                          6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

                                          Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

                                          You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

                                          On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

                                          You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

                                          7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

                                          Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

                                          Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

                                          Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

                                          When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

                                          Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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                                          In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

                                          Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

                                          It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

                                          Final Thoughts

                                          When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

                                          The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

                                          Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

                                          Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

                                          Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

                                          More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

                                          Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

                                          Reference

                                          [1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
                                          [2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
                                          [3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
                                          [4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
                                          [5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
                                          [6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
                                          [7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
                                          [8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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