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How To Expose Cheaters by Recovering Deleted Text Messages

How To Expose Cheaters by Recovering Deleted Text Messages

Most relationships don’t last. It’s sad, yes – but true nonetheless; with roughly 85% of all relationships coming to an end. With over a third of relationships starting online, it’s becoming easier than ever to find a replacement beau.

Online dating

    To make matters worse, roughly 20% of people in relationships have admitted to cheating on their significant other; most of the time with someone from work.

    Even with all of the advances in technology and ways to communicate with others, it seems that the dating world is more difficult and strenuous than ever before. Which brings us to the topic of this article: how to leverage technology to catch cheating red handed.

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    Before we get into how to find your smoking gun – first a bit of background. My curiosity on this topic was piqued by a recent conversation with a friend over drinks. She explained to me the peace of mind she’s gained after using a simple desktop app to recover text messages her (now) ex had deleted off his phone.

    She was able to end her relationship on her own terms, and prevent the typical heartbreak and damage to her emotional well being that tends to come from being in a cheating relationship.

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      To clarify my friend is not technically savvy. She doesn’t work for a cybersecurity firm and is perhaps the furthest thing from a hacker. She has never needed to be tech savvy, as she is a therapist, so she was always more concerned with building and fostering personal connections with people.

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      So to hear her tell her story about her past relationship was revealing to me about how dedicated you must be to yourself in order to claim the happiness you deserve from a dysfunctional relationship. I asked her some questions on her relationship to see what helped her get through it.

      Were you in a happy relationship before?

      Like most stories about cheating, she was going through some difficult times, as her ex was working and going to school at night – so he was seemingly never around. This made it pretty normal for them to go several days in a row without really spending much time together. It was far from a perfect relationship, but they liked spending time with each other and hence tried to make it work.

      What made you suspect cheating?

      Most of the time, I think people have a gut feeling they’re being cheated on.

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        It might be the time you spend apart – making you feel emotionally distant, or sometimes the signs are more evident.

        To me, most people get surprised by a cheater because they don’t want to believe it. But apparently, after a few months she had her suspicions… and decided to do whatever she could to find out.

        How did you find out and how did you react?

        She did a bit of searching, and found a service that let her recover deleted text messages, and while she knew this was an invasion of privacy, she felt the need to take back her confidence. She was trapped in a daily state of paranoia and anxiety, and if anyone has ever been in that situation, they know that you start doubting everything about your life. So, she decided that either way, she would let him know what she did and deal with the repercussions. However, she needed to reclaim her relationship with herself.

        Reclaiming her relationship with herself?

        She was miserable from day to day, wondering why her boyfriend was gone, where he was, who he was with, why he didn’t want to spend time with her. The questions kept racing through her head, so her own personal relationships and her self-esteem were at an all time low.

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        While finding out he was cheating was tough to handle, it also allowed her the opportunity to completely accept the situation, make up her mind about what she wanted, and move on. They didn’t have an explosive argument either, they just talked and she let him know that if he wasn’t happy with her, then they should go their separate ways. He did hurt her, but she made the decision to take care of herself and improve who she was.

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          Anything you would do differently looking back on it?

          She simply stated that she would have committed more energy to herself as opposed to a broken relationship. You need to invest in a relationship, but how can you expect to be in a healthy relationship when you are not in a good place mentally and emotionally.

          Featured photo credit: Broadly by Vice via broadly.vice.com

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          Last Updated on November 26, 2020

          How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

          How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

          As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

          “Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

          The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

          5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

          Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

          Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

          1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

          Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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          2. Show Compassion

          If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

          3. Communicate Regularly

          Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

          Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

          4. Ask for Feedback

          Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

          If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

          5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

          Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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          How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

          Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

          Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

          According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

          You Can Find Good Help

          It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

          Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

          Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

          Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

          Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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          You Pull Together as a Team

          Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

          Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

          Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

          Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

          Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

          Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

          Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

          Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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          Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

          Your Career Shines Bright

          Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

          Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

          When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

          Final Thoughts

          At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

          At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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          Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

          Reference

          [1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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