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How To Expose Cheaters by Recovering Deleted Text Messages

How To Expose Cheaters by Recovering Deleted Text Messages

Most relationships don’t last. It’s sad, yes – but true nonetheless; with roughly 85% of all relationships coming to an end. With over a third of relationships starting online, it’s becoming easier than ever to find a replacement beau.

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    To make matters worse, roughly 20% of people in relationships have admitted to cheating on their significant other; most of the time with someone from work.

    Even with all of the advances in technology and ways to communicate with others, it seems that the dating world is more difficult and strenuous than ever before. Which brings us to the topic of this article: how to leverage technology to catch cheating red handed.

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    Before we get into how to find your smoking gun – first a bit of background. My curiosity on this topic was piqued by a recent conversation with a friend over drinks. She explained to me the peace of mind she’s gained after using a simple desktop app to recover text messages her (now) ex had deleted off his phone.

    She was able to end her relationship on her own terms, and prevent the typical heartbreak and damage to her emotional well being that tends to come from being in a cheating relationship.

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      To clarify my friend is not technically savvy. She doesn’t work for a cybersecurity firm and is perhaps the furthest thing from a hacker. She has never needed to be tech savvy, as she is a therapist, so she was always more concerned with building and fostering personal connections with people.

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      So to hear her tell her story about her past relationship was revealing to me about how dedicated you must be to yourself in order to claim the happiness you deserve from a dysfunctional relationship. I asked her some questions on her relationship to see what helped her get through it.

      Were you in a happy relationship before?

      Like most stories about cheating, she was going through some difficult times, as her ex was working and going to school at night – so he was seemingly never around. This made it pretty normal for them to go several days in a row without really spending much time together. It was far from a perfect relationship, but they liked spending time with each other and hence tried to make it work.

      What made you suspect cheating?

      Most of the time, I think people have a gut feeling they’re being cheated on.

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        It might be the time you spend apart – making you feel emotionally distant, or sometimes the signs are more evident.

        To me, most people get surprised by a cheater because they don’t want to believe it. But apparently, after a few months she had her suspicions… and decided to do whatever she could to find out.

        How did you find out and how did you react?

        She did a bit of searching, and found a service that let her recover deleted text messages, and while she knew this was an invasion of privacy, she felt the need to take back her confidence. She was trapped in a daily state of paranoia and anxiety, and if anyone has ever been in that situation, they know that you start doubting everything about your life. So, she decided that either way, she would let him know what she did and deal with the repercussions. However, she needed to reclaim her relationship with herself.

        Reclaiming her relationship with herself?

        She was miserable from day to day, wondering why her boyfriend was gone, where he was, who he was with, why he didn’t want to spend time with her. The questions kept racing through her head, so her own personal relationships and her self-esteem were at an all time low.

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        While finding out he was cheating was tough to handle, it also allowed her the opportunity to completely accept the situation, make up her mind about what she wanted, and move on. They didn’t have an explosive argument either, they just talked and she let him know that if he wasn’t happy with her, then they should go their separate ways. He did hurt her, but she made the decision to take care of herself and improve who she was.

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          Anything you would do differently looking back on it?

          She simply stated that she would have committed more energy to herself as opposed to a broken relationship. You need to invest in a relationship, but how can you expect to be in a healthy relationship when you are not in a good place mentally and emotionally.

          Featured photo credit: Broadly by Vice via broadly.vice.com

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          Last Updated on September 17, 2018

          7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

          7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

          Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

          Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

          When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

          Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

          1. You’re depressed about your home life.

          No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

          However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

          If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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          When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

          You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

          2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

          Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

          If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

          You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

          If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

          3. You can’t stop snooping.

          Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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          I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

          Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

          So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

          It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

          If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

          4. You’re afraid of commitment.

          If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

          Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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          No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

          If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

          Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

          5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

          If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

          Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

          Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

          Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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          If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

          6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

          When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

          When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

          If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

          7. You chase past feelings.

          It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

          You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

          When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

          Final thoughts

          If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

          Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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