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How To Expose Cheaters by Recovering Deleted Text Messages

How To Expose Cheaters by Recovering Deleted Text Messages

Most relationships don’t last. It’s sad, yes – but true nonetheless; with roughly 85% of all relationships coming to an end. With over a third of relationships starting online, it’s becoming easier than ever to find a replacement beau.

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    To make matters worse, roughly 20% of people in relationships have admitted to cheating on their significant other; most of the time with someone from work.

    Even with all of the advances in technology and ways to communicate with others, it seems that the dating world is more difficult and strenuous than ever before. Which brings us to the topic of this article: how to leverage technology to catch cheating red handed.

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    Before we get into how to find your smoking gun – first a bit of background. My curiosity on this topic was piqued by a recent conversation with a friend over drinks. She explained to me the peace of mind she’s gained after using a simple desktop app to recover text messages her (now) ex had deleted off his phone.

    She was able to end her relationship on her own terms, and prevent the typical heartbreak and damage to her emotional well being that tends to come from being in a cheating relationship.

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      To clarify my friend is not technically savvy. She doesn’t work for a cybersecurity firm and is perhaps the furthest thing from a hacker. She has never needed to be tech savvy, as she is a therapist, so she was always more concerned with building and fostering personal connections with people.

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      So to hear her tell her story about her past relationship was revealing to me about how dedicated you must be to yourself in order to claim the happiness you deserve from a dysfunctional relationship. I asked her some questions on her relationship to see what helped her get through it.

      Were you in a happy relationship before?

      Like most stories about cheating, she was going through some difficult times, as her ex was working and going to school at night – so he was seemingly never around. This made it pretty normal for them to go several days in a row without really spending much time together. It was far from a perfect relationship, but they liked spending time with each other and hence tried to make it work.

      What made you suspect cheating?

      Most of the time, I think people have a gut feeling they’re being cheated on.

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        It might be the time you spend apart – making you feel emotionally distant, or sometimes the signs are more evident.

        To me, most people get surprised by a cheater because they don’t want to believe it. But apparently, after a few months she had her suspicions… and decided to do whatever she could to find out.

        How did you find out and how did you react?

        She did a bit of searching, and found a service that let her recover deleted text messages, and while she knew this was an invasion of privacy, she felt the need to take back her confidence. She was trapped in a daily state of paranoia and anxiety, and if anyone has ever been in that situation, they know that you start doubting everything about your life. So, she decided that either way, she would let him know what she did and deal with the repercussions. However, she needed to reclaim her relationship with herself.

        Reclaiming her relationship with herself?

        She was miserable from day to day, wondering why her boyfriend was gone, where he was, who he was with, why he didn’t want to spend time with her. The questions kept racing through her head, so her own personal relationships and her self-esteem were at an all time low.

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        While finding out he was cheating was tough to handle, it also allowed her the opportunity to completely accept the situation, make up her mind about what she wanted, and move on. They didn’t have an explosive argument either, they just talked and she let him know that if he wasn’t happy with her, then they should go their separate ways. He did hurt her, but she made the decision to take care of herself and improve who she was.

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          Anything you would do differently looking back on it?

          She simply stated that she would have committed more energy to herself as opposed to a broken relationship. You need to invest in a relationship, but how can you expect to be in a healthy relationship when you are not in a good place mentally and emotionally.

          Featured photo credit: Broadly by Vice via broadly.vice.com

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          Last Updated on July 3, 2020

          30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

          30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

          In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

          1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

          Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

          2. Focus on your breath

          Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

          3. Get organized and purge old items

          A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

          4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

          Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

          5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

          Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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          6. Smile more

          Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

          7. Don’t worry about the future

          As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

          8. Eat real food

          The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

          9. Choose being happy over being right

          Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

          10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

          Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

          11. Make use of filtering features on social media

          You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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          12. Get comfortable with silence

          When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

          13. Listen to understand, not to respond

          So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

          14. Put your troubles in a bubble

          Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

          15. Speak more slowly

          Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

          16. Don’t procrastinate

          Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

          17. Buy a coloring book

          Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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          18. Prioritize yourself

          You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

          19. Forgive others

          Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

          20. Check your expectations

          Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

          21. Engage in active play

          Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

          22. Stop criticizing yourself

          The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

          23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

          Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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          24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

          Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

          25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

          Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

          26. Manage your money

          Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

          27. Stop trying to control everything

          Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

          28. Practice affirmations

          Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

          29. Get up before sunrise

          Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

          30. Be yourself

          Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

          Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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