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5 Ways to Get Over the Lost Love Fast and Become Mentally Strong Again

5 Ways to Get Over the Lost Love Fast and Become Mentally Strong Again

There is no doubt that a romantic break-up is tough even if you haven’t been involved for that long. Breaking up might be the best thing overall if things are not working out but at the end of the day, if you are the one who has been left and your feelings are still in limbo. It hurts.

How to get over the lost love fast and avoid wasting time on unnecessary pain?

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1. Recovery doesn’t have to take a long time

Some people think that it takes a long time to get over a lost love but although the process is going to be different and more timely depending on the extent of your feelings, it is more about  how you handle this period of ‘singledom’ that will determine how quickly you bounce back from the break-up.

Apart from an intense feeling of loss, you are likely to be feeling angry and rejected and it is how you channel this anger that will be instrumental in recovering. When a relationship is over, quite often you don’t get a chance to express how you really feel because sometimes the break-up happens in a burst of anger during a row or sometimes, more callously, by text or email. In the initial stages, this sudden grief and loss are suppressed as are the feelings of anger.

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2. Grieve intensively but shortly

By your not having the opportunity to fight back and say what you think about your former partner, the emotions can simply well up and choke you from the inside out. You have no opportunity to rid yourself of this inner angst. Unfortunately, your instinct might let you wallow in this grief and this torrent of stored emotion by listing to the soppiest, saddest music possible which instead of allowing you to free your pent-up emotions, simply enables you to feel the rush of emotion, pain and loss over and over again. Don’t do it. Don’t let emotions drain you.

3. Acknowledge the break-up

Of course, it’s good to acknowledge that you hurt emotionally. You are heart broken and you have full rights to feel bad. Hiding from your emotions is not good. In fact, it’s damaging. You might even curl up on your bed and relive those last moments, wondering how you could have done things differently. Or visualise you back together once more as a couple, when he has come to his senses and realised that he cannot live without you.

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Visualising this backwards step can heighten your emotions even further, stopping you from moving on from the pain. It can prevent the natural healing process if you start trying to call him, to find him, and worst case scenario stalk him.

If you feel tempted to do any of these, stop right there! You will not be doing yourself any favours. You will only increase your feelings of sadness and actually suppress your anger further within yourself. Plus, in years to come, you will find yourself horribly embarrassed by your actions.

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4. Choose activities which empower you

You probably feel very helpless, like he has all of the control and you are left feeling wishy washy and just overcome with emotion. When you feel helpless, this hinders your fight back to normal emotions and so you need to stop waiting and hoping for him to call you. Whilst you know it will take you a while to forget him, you can determine to do just that or at the very least, that you are going to get on with your life. If you want to listen to music, choose carefully. Don’t listen to those songs that make you feel completely sad; instead choose those that empower you.

If you feel the need to tell him what you feel. Then write him a letter and very clearly bullet point how his actions have made you feel. You don’t need to send it, just get out every emotion that you can onto paper and then burn the letter, visualising your anger dissipating and the sensation of relief as the words burn.

It’s never easy getting over a broken heart and sometimes you will not get the answers that you really want to have, but there is nothing that you can do about that. Keep a firm grip on your pride and just remember that if he doesn’t value you, then there will be someone out there who does.

5. Start going out

I know that in your mind no other person can replace your previous partner, but try to give it a try. Trying new hobbies, such as drawing class, a new sport, martial arts or whatever interests you. Getting involved into new activities can work wonders to clean up your mind. Why not to go even further and chat with new people on online dating apps? After all, nothing works better to relieve the pain of the lost love than the new love!

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Last Updated on November 20, 2018

10 Reasons Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail

10 Reasons Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail

A new year beautifully symbolizes a new chapter opening in the book that is your life. But while so many people like you aspire to achieve ambitious goals, only 12% of you will ever experience the taste of victory. Sound bad? It is. 156 million people (that’s 156,000,000) will probably give up on their resolution before you can say “confetti.” Keep on reading to learn why New Year’s resolutions fail (and how to succeed).

Note: Since losing weight is the most common New Year’s resolution, I chose to focus on weight loss (but these principles can be applied to just about any goal you think of — make it work for you!).

1. You’re treating a marathon like a sprint.

Slow and steady habit change might not be sexy, but it’s a lot more effective than the “I want it ALL and I want it NOW!” mentality. Small changes stick better because they aren’t intimidating (if you do it right, you’ll barely even notice them!).

If you have a lot of bad habits today, the last thing you need to do is remodel your entire life overnight. Want to lose weight? Stop it with the crash diets and excessive exercise plans. Instead of following a super restrictive plan that bans anything fun, add one positive habit per week. For example, you could start with something easy like drinking more water during your first week. The following week, you could move on to eating 3 fruits and veggies every day. And the next week, you could aim to eat a fistful of protein at every meal.

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2. You put the cart before the horse.

“Supplementing” a crappy diet is stupid, so don’t even think about it. Focus on the actions that produce the overwhelming amount of results. If it’s not important, don’t worry about it.

3. You don’t believe in yourself.

A failure to act can cripple you before you leave the starting line. If you’ve tried (and failed) to set a New Year’s resolution (or several) in the past, I know it might be hard to believe in yourself. Doubt is a nagging voice in your head that will resist personal growth with every ounce of its being. The only way to defeat doubt is to believe in yourself. Who cares if you’ve failed a time or two? This year, you can try again (but better this time).

4. Too much thinking, not enough doing.

The best self-help book in the world can’t save you if you fail to take action. Yes, seek inspiration and knowledge, but only as much as you can realistically apply to your life. If you can put just one thing you learn from every book or article you read into practice, you’ll be on the fast track to success.

5. You’re in too much of a hurry.

If it was quick-and-easy, everybody would do it, so it’s in your best interest to exercise your patience muscles.

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6. You don’t enjoy the process.

Is it any wonder people struggle with their weight when they see eating as a chore and exercise as a dreadful bore? The best fitness plan is one that causes the least interruption to your daily life. The goal isn’t to add stress to your life, but rather to remove it.

The best of us couldn’t bring ourselves to do something we hate consistently, so make getting in shape fun, however you’ve gotta do it. That could be participating in a sport you love, exercising with a good friend or two, joining a group exercise class so you can meet new people, or giving yourself one “free day” per week where you forget about your training plan and exercise in any way you please.

7. You’re trying too hard.

Unless you want to experience some nasty cravings, don’t deprive your body of pleasure. The more you tell yourself you can’t have a food, the more you’re going to want it. As long as you’re making positive choices 80-90% of the time, don’t sweat the occasional indulgence.

8. You don’t track your progress.

Keeping a written record of your training progress will help you sustain an “I CAN do this” attitude. All you need is a notebook and a pen. For every workout, record what exercises you do, the number of repetitions performed, and how much weight you used if applicable. Your goal? Do better next time. Improving your best performance on a regular basis offers positive feedback that will encourage you to keep going.

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9. You have no social support.

It can be hard to stay motivated when you feel alone. The good news? You’re not alone: far from it. Post a status on Facebook asking your friends if anybody would like to be your gym or accountability buddy. If you know a co-worker who shares your goal, try to coordinate your lunch time and go out together so you’ll be more likely to make positive decisions. Join a support group of like-minded folks on Facebook, LinkedIn, or elsewhere on the internet. Strength in numbers is powerful, so use it to your advantage.

10. You know your what but not your why.

The biggest reason why most New Year’s resolutions fail: you know what you want but you not why you want it.

Yes: you want to get fit, lose weight, or be healthy… but why is your goal important to you? For example:

Do you want to be fit so you can be a positive example that your children can admire and look up to?

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Do you want to lose fat so you’ll feel more confident and sexy in your body than ever before?

Do you want to be healthy so you’ll have increased clarity, energy, and focus that would carry over into every single aspect of your life?

Whether you’re getting in shape because you want to live longer, be a good example, boost your energy, feel confident, have an excuse to buy hot new clothes, or increase your likelihood of getting laid (hey, I’m not here to judge) is up to you. Forget about any preconceived notions and be true to yourself.

  • The more specific you can make your goal,
  • The more vivid it will be in your imagination,
  • The more encouraged you’ll be,
  • The more likely it is you will succeed (because yes, you CAN do this!).

I hope this guide to why New Year’s resolutions fail helps you achieve your goals this year. If you found this helpful, please pass it along to some friends so they can be successful just like you. What do you hope to accomplish next year?

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