Advertising
Advertising

5 Ways to Get Over the Lost Love Fast and Become Mentally Strong Again

5 Ways to Get Over the Lost Love Fast and Become Mentally Strong Again

There is no doubt that a romantic break-up is tough even if you haven’t been involved for that long. Breaking up might be the best thing overall if things are not working out but at the end of the day, if you are the one who has been left and your feelings are still in limbo. It hurts.

How to get over the lost love fast and avoid wasting time on unnecessary pain?

Advertising

1. Recovery doesn’t have to take a long time

Some people think that it takes a long time to get over a lost love but although the process is going to be different and more timely depending on the extent of your feelings, it is more about  how you handle this period of ‘singledom’ that will determine how quickly you bounce back from the break-up.

Apart from an intense feeling of loss, you are likely to be feeling angry and rejected and it is how you channel this anger that will be instrumental in recovering. When a relationship is over, quite often you don’t get a chance to express how you really feel because sometimes the break-up happens in a burst of anger during a row or sometimes, more callously, by text or email. In the initial stages, this sudden grief and loss are suppressed as are the feelings of anger.

Advertising

2. Grieve intensively but shortly

By your not having the opportunity to fight back and say what you think about your former partner, the emotions can simply well up and choke you from the inside out. You have no opportunity to rid yourself of this inner angst. Unfortunately, your instinct might let you wallow in this grief and this torrent of stored emotion by listing to the soppiest, saddest music possible which instead of allowing you to free your pent-up emotions, simply enables you to feel the rush of emotion, pain and loss over and over again. Don’t do it. Don’t let emotions drain you.

3. Acknowledge the break-up

Of course, it’s good to acknowledge that you hurt emotionally. You are heart broken and you have full rights to feel bad. Hiding from your emotions is not good. In fact, it’s damaging. You might even curl up on your bed and relive those last moments, wondering how you could have done things differently. Or visualise you back together once more as a couple, when he has come to his senses and realised that he cannot live without you.

Advertising

Visualising this backwards step can heighten your emotions even further, stopping you from moving on from the pain. It can prevent the natural healing process if you start trying to call him, to find him, and worst case scenario stalk him.

If you feel tempted to do any of these, stop right there! You will not be doing yourself any favours. You will only increase your feelings of sadness and actually suppress your anger further within yourself. Plus, in years to come, you will find yourself horribly embarrassed by your actions.

Advertising

4. Choose activities which empower you

You probably feel very helpless, like he has all of the control and you are left feeling wishy washy and just overcome with emotion. When you feel helpless, this hinders your fight back to normal emotions and so you need to stop waiting and hoping for him to call you. Whilst you know it will take you a while to forget him, you can determine to do just that or at the very least, that you are going to get on with your life. If you want to listen to music, choose carefully. Don’t listen to those songs that make you feel completely sad; instead choose those that empower you.

If you feel the need to tell him what you feel. Then write him a letter and very clearly bullet point how his actions have made you feel. You don’t need to send it, just get out every emotion that you can onto paper and then burn the letter, visualising your anger dissipating and the sensation of relief as the words burn.

It’s never easy getting over a broken heart and sometimes you will not get the answers that you really want to have, but there is nothing that you can do about that. Keep a firm grip on your pride and just remember that if he doesn’t value you, then there will be someone out there who does.

5. Start going out

I know that in your mind no other person can replace your previous partner, but try to give it a try. Trying new hobbies, such as drawing class, a new sport, martial arts or whatever interests you. Getting involved into new activities can work wonders to clean up your mind. Why not to go even further and chat with new people on online dating apps? After all, nothing works better to relieve the pain of the lost love than the new love!

More by this author

A Good Relationship Is About Give and Take. Never Let It Be One-Sided 12 Ways To Stop Your Addiction to ‘The Next Thing’ 12 Ways to Make Moving Cheaper and Easier 5 Important Life Lessons I’ve Learned After Using Dating Apps for a Year 6 Tips How To Stay Motivated When Training Alone

Trending in Lifestyle

1 Can You Stop Depression from Damaging Your Brain? 2 How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity 3 Why You’re Feeling Tired All the Time (And What to Do About It) 4 42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself 5 How to Practice Guided Meditation for Sleep to Calm the Mind

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 15, 2019

How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

How to Tap Into the Power of Positivity

As it appears, the human mind is not capable of not thinking, at least on the subconscious level. Our mind is always occupied by thoughts, whether we want to or not, and they influence our every action.

“Happiness cannot come from without, it comes from within.” – Helen Keller

When we are still children, our thoughts seem to be purely positive. Have you ever been around a 4-year old who doesn’t like a painting he or she drew? I haven’t. Instead, I see glee, exciting and pride in children’s eyes. But as the years go by, we clutter our mind with doubts, fears and self-deprecating thoughts.

Advertising

Just imagine then how much we limit ourselves in every aspect of our lives if we give negative thoughts too much power! We’ll never go after that job we’ve always wanted because our nay-saying thoughts make us doubt our abilities. We’ll never ask that person we like out on a date because we always think we’re not good enough.

We’ll never risk quitting our job in order to pursue the life and the work of our dreams because we can’t get over our mental barrier that insists we’re too weak, too unimportant and too dumb. We’ll never lose those pounds that risk our health because we believe we’re not capable of pushing our limits. We’ll never be able to fully see our inner potential because we simply don’t dare to question the voices in our head.

But enough is enough! It’s time to stop these limiting beliefs and come to a place of sanity, love and excitement about life, work and ourselves.

Advertising

So…how exactly are we to achieve that?

It’s not as hard as it may seem; you just have to practice, practice, practice. Here are a few ideas on how you can get started.

1. Learn to substitute every negative thought with a positive one.

Every time a negative thought crawls into your mind, replace it with a positive thought. It’s just like someone writes a phrase you don’t like on a blackboard and then you get up, erase it and write something much more to your liking.

Advertising

2. See the positive side of every situation, even when you are surrounded by pure negativity.

This one is a bit harder to put into practice, which does not mean it’s impossible.

You can find positivity in everything by mentally holding on to something positive, whether this be family, friends, your faith, nature, someone’s sparkling eyes or whatever other glimmer of beauty. If you seek it, you will find it.

3. At least once a day, take a moment and think of 5 things you are grateful for.

This will lighten your mood and give you some perspective of what is really important in life and how many blessings surround you already.

Advertising

4. Change the mental images you allow to enter your mind.

How you see yourself and your surroundings make a huge difference to your thinking. It is like watching a DVD that saddens and frustrates you, completely pulling you down. Eject that old DVD, throw it away and insert a new, better, more hopeful one instead.

So, instead of dwelling on dark, negative thoughts, consciously build and focus on positive, light and colorful images, thoughts and situations in your mind a few times a day.

If you are persistent and keep on working on yourself, your mind will automatically reject its negative thoughts and welcome the positive ones.

And remember: You are (or will become) what you think you are. This is reason enough to be proactive about whatever is going on in your head.

Featured photo credit: Kyaw Tun via unsplash.com

Read Next