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Do You Have A Base Foundation For A Happy Life?

Do You Have A Base Foundation For A Happy Life?

Do you have a base foundation for a happy life? Or is happiness something that you pursue and take for granted at the same time? For example, you could have a sense of satisfaction with where you are or what you have, but easily dismiss the state of happiness in lieu of wishing for something better!

Our wish for “something greater” than what we have going on in our life is a conflict that swirls within every one of us. We all want for something more, something better with greener grass on the other side, rainbows, fireworks, and, of course, winning the lottery.

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There are plenty of snippets of pleasure all around us that we overlook because we tend to look outside of ourselves for tangible materialistic joy and wealth to somehow fix the brokenness that we have within us. Even when we accomplish something worthwhile, we still continue to look for something touchable to take its place to fill up yet another hole deep inside. All of this entanglement of searching outside of ourselves can cloud our sense of joy or fulfillment and what we should be valuing the most.

Happiness is built from the positive experiences that we’ve encountered throughout our lives, and is nurtured by the love and support that we receive from those around us. Along your life journey, you may have lost your structure for a base foundation for a happy life.

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Just like a house needs to have a proper foundation to keep it stable, we too need to have a solid base that holds us up and keeps us together with support and care.

Four signs that you are missing a base foundation for a happy life:

  • You feel lost in life, with a lack of focus and care.
  • You’ve stopped taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.
  • You feel a sense of dread and agitation for where you are and who you are with.
  • You have ongoing ailments and drained energy.

What is your base foundation? What holds you up and keeps you going in life, with support and structure? Is it unconditional love from a relationship, family or friends, your life’s passion or career?

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Below are some key things that you will need in order to attain happiness, satisfaction, and a sense of peace.

Discover these four key components to base your happiness from. Plus, ask yourself these questions to gauge what is most important to you.

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1. Purpose and Vision

  • When you wake up in the morning, are you happy with where you are? Do you have a sense of excitement for your impending day?
  • What kind of things do you look forward to? And are you fulfilling your purpose and vision for your life?

2. Personal Core Values

  • When you lay your head down on the pillow at night, are you satisfied with the way you’ve portrayed yourself throughout your day?
  • Are you holding yourself to the core values that you have set for yourself?

3. Positive Reinforcement and Support System

  • Do you get positive reinforcement from those around you?
  • Do you have a support system, whether from family, friends, or society?
  • What gives you a sense of security and peace?

4. A Sense of Life Satisfaction and Accomplishments

  • Are you satisfied with your accomplishments?
  • What do you look to deep inside yourself when things are falling apart?
  • Do you feel drained from life with nothing left to give?
  • Do people take more from you than they give to you?

You need to have something to look forward to that keeps you happy and excited. With a positive support system and a strong set of values that you set for yourself, you will keep your power and reach your accomplishments, giving you a strong base foundation of happiness worth standing on. No one can drain your energy or take your power away unless you let them!

Featured photo credit: Weebly Stock Photos via gettyimages.com

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Lorrie Ober

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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