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Do You Have A Base Foundation For A Happy Life?

Do You Have A Base Foundation For A Happy Life?

Do you have a base foundation for a happy life? Or is happiness something that you pursue and take for granted at the same time? For example, you could have a sense of satisfaction with where you are or what you have, but easily dismiss the state of happiness in lieu of wishing for something better!

Our wish for “something greater” than what we have going on in our life is a conflict that swirls within every one of us. We all want for something more, something better with greener grass on the other side, rainbows, fireworks, and, of course, winning the lottery.

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There are plenty of snippets of pleasure all around us that we overlook because we tend to look outside of ourselves for tangible materialistic joy and wealth to somehow fix the brokenness that we have within us. Even when we accomplish something worthwhile, we still continue to look for something touchable to take its place to fill up yet another hole deep inside. All of this entanglement of searching outside of ourselves can cloud our sense of joy or fulfillment and what we should be valuing the most.

Happiness is built from the positive experiences that we’ve encountered throughout our lives, and is nurtured by the love and support that we receive from those around us. Along your life journey, you may have lost your structure for a base foundation for a happy life.

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Just like a house needs to have a proper foundation to keep it stable, we too need to have a solid base that holds us up and keeps us together with support and care.

Four signs that you are missing a base foundation for a happy life:

  • You feel lost in life, with a lack of focus and care.
  • You’ve stopped taking care of yourself physically and emotionally.
  • You feel a sense of dread and agitation for where you are and who you are with.
  • You have ongoing ailments and drained energy.

What is your base foundation? What holds you up and keeps you going in life, with support and structure? Is it unconditional love from a relationship, family or friends, your life’s passion or career?

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Below are some key things that you will need in order to attain happiness, satisfaction, and a sense of peace.

Discover these four key components to base your happiness from. Plus, ask yourself these questions to gauge what is most important to you.

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1. Purpose and Vision

  • When you wake up in the morning, are you happy with where you are? Do you have a sense of excitement for your impending day?
  • What kind of things do you look forward to? And are you fulfilling your purpose and vision for your life?

2. Personal Core Values

  • When you lay your head down on the pillow at night, are you satisfied with the way you’ve portrayed yourself throughout your day?
  • Are you holding yourself to the core values that you have set for yourself?

3. Positive Reinforcement and Support System

  • Do you get positive reinforcement from those around you?
  • Do you have a support system, whether from family, friends, or society?
  • What gives you a sense of security and peace?

4. A Sense of Life Satisfaction and Accomplishments

  • Are you satisfied with your accomplishments?
  • What do you look to deep inside yourself when things are falling apart?
  • Do you feel drained from life with nothing left to give?
  • Do people take more from you than they give to you?

You need to have something to look forward to that keeps you happy and excited. With a positive support system and a strong set of values that you set for yourself, you will keep your power and reach your accomplishments, giving you a strong base foundation of happiness worth standing on. No one can drain your energy or take your power away unless you let them!

Featured photo credit: Weebly Stock Photos via gettyimages.com

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Lorrie Ober

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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