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What to Do When It’s Time to Ask for a Divorce

What to Do When It’s Time to Ask for a Divorce

The end of a marriage can be a difficult time. It’s not an easy decision and, for most people, is the last choice after trying to save the relationship after a long period of time.

But when divorce is the only option you got, you will want to make your separation as easy and friendly as possible. Emotions are very sensible, and you’ve been through very difficult times, but with some help, you and your partner can get through this process as easy as it can get. So here are some tips to make it easier for you when you approach your spouse:

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1. Do it at the right time and place.

Be sure you choose the appropriate moment, you don’t want to approach your spouse or wife when he/she is having a bad time because that would only put them very angry. Instead, choose a moment where you can speak calmly, in a quiet place where there’s only the two of you. You will need privacy to talk about this important decision. So just pick a moment where both of you are feeling rested. Usually, a Saturday morning can be a really good moment to talk about this.

2. Use kind dialogue.

Don’t get upset, be very gentle. Maybe what you are going to say is not the nicest thing, but you can say it in a careful and prudent way. Be comprehensive about your partner’s reaction. He or she may get angry at first, but it’s up to you to keep the talk going smoothly. Don’t show frustration or anger, try calming your partner down, and your words will make the difference.

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3. Tell your spouse that you’ll deal with this together.

You two have been through a lot together, and just because your relationship as a couple has come to an end, that doesn’t mean you will be enemies. So try to end this episode as well as can be; you can even end like two good friends. Get some professional help if you need to, and cope with this situation in a positive way.

4. Look for online resources.

Nowadays, there are many online sites that can help you through the process of divorce. Yes; people do it online. Usually, it’s a service that isn’t very expensive and can help you file your divorce in an easy and fast way. Just look for online divorce options on the web that offer it. That way, you save a lot of time and money. Lawyers may charge you a lot more money, and may add more stress on top of the grief you may be feeling.

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5. Think of your children.

If there are kids in between, talk about them too. What will be the best option for them? Do not get into a competition and treat your children like they were trophies. Maybe you can even ask for their opinion, and always make sure they see both of their parents, and never take them away as a type of revenge towards your ex-partner. This can be very difficult for a kid, so try to make it easier for them.

You just need to keep focused and remember that your happiness, success, and wellness are first. It might be one of the hardest decisions in life to let go, but we need to fight for it. You are first, and only then can you help others. It is true that you never know how strong you are. You may have to pretend to be until you start believing it. Do not feel alone; find support with your closest ones (family, friends), legally or even online.

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 “Divorce isn’t a tragedy. A tragedy is staying in an unhappy marriage.”

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Erick Clifford

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

Learning how to get in shape and set goals is important if you’re looking to live a healthier lifestyle and get closer to your goal weight. While this does require changes to your daily routine, you’ll find that you are able to look and feel better in only two weeks.

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to get in shape. Although anyone can cover the basics (eat right and exercise), there are some things that I could only learn through trial and error. Let’s cover some of the most important points for how to get in shape in two weeks.

1. Exercise Daily

It is far easier to make exercise a habit if it is a daily one. If you aren’t exercising at all, I recommend starting by exercising a half hour every day. When you only exercise a couple times per week, it is much easier to turn one day off into three days off, a week off, or a month off.

If you are already used to exercising, switching to three or four times a week to fit your schedule may be preferable, but it is a lot harder to maintain a workout program you don’t do every day.

Be careful to not repeat the same exercise routine each day. If you do an intense ab workout one day, try switching it up to general cardio the next. You can also squeeze in a day of light walking to break up the intensity.

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If you’re a morning person, check out these morning exercises that will start your day off right.

2. Duration Doesn’t Substitute for Intensity

Once you get into the habit of regular exercise, where do you go if you still aren’t reaching your goals? Most people will solve the problem by exercising for longer periods of time, turning forty-minute workouts into two hour stretches. Not only does this drain your time, but it doesn’t work particularly well.

One study shows that “exercising for a whole hour instead of a half does not provide any additional loss in either body weight or fat”[1].

This is great news for both your schedule and your levels of motivation. You’ll likely find it much easier to exercise for 30 minutes a day instead of an hour. In those 30 minutes, do your best to up the intensity to your appropriate edge to get the most out of the time.

3. Acknowledge Your Limits

Many people get frustrated when they plateau in their weight loss or muscle gaining goals as they’re learning how to get in shape. Everyone has an equilibrium and genetic set point where their body wants to remain. This doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve your fitness goals, but don’t be too hard on yourself if you are struggling to lose weight or put on muscle.

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Acknowledging a set point doesn’t mean giving up, but it does mean realizing the obstacles you face.

Expect to hit a plateau in your own fitness results[2]. When you expect a plateau, you can manage around it so you can continue your progress at a more realistic rate. When expectations meet reality, you can avoid dietary crashes.

4. Eat Healthy, Not Just Food That Looks Healthy

Know what you eat. Don’t fuss over minutia like whether you’re getting enough Omega 3’s or tryptophan, but be aware of the big things. Look at the foods you eat regularly and figure out whether they are healthy or not. Don’t get fooled by the deceptively healthy snacks just pretending to be good for you.

The basic nutritional advice includes:

  • Eat unprocessed foods
  • Eat more veggies
  • Use meat as a side dish, not a main course
  • Eat whole grains, not refined grains[3]

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Eat whole grains when you want to learn how to get in shape.

    5. Watch Out for Travel

    Don’t let a four-day holiday interfere with your attempts when you’re learning how to get in shape. I don’t mean that you need to follow your diet and exercise plan without any excursion, but when you are in the first few weeks, still forming habits, be careful that a week long break doesn’t terminate your progress.

    This is also true of schedule changes that leave you suddenly busy or make it difficult to exercise. Have a backup plan so you can be consistent, at least for the first month when you are forming habits.

    If travel is on your schedule and can’t be avoided, make an exercise plan before you go[4], and make sure to pack exercise clothes and an exercise mat as motivation to keep you on track.

    6. Start Slow

    Ever start an exercise plan by running ten miles and then puking your guts out? Maybe you aren’t that extreme, but burnout is common early on when learning how to get in shape. You have a lifetime to be healthy, so don’t try to go from couch potato to athletic superstar in a week.

    If you are starting a running regime, for example, run less than you can to start. Starting strength training? Work with less weight than you could theoretically lift. Increasing intensity and pushing yourself can come later when your body becomes comfortable with regular exercise.

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    7. Be Careful When Choosing a Workout Partner

    Should you have a workout partner? That depends. Workout partners can help you stay motivated and make exercising more fun. But they can also stop you from reaching your goals.

    My suggestion would be to have a workout partner, but when you start to plateau (either in physical ability, weight loss/gain, or overall health) and you haven’t reached your goals, consider mixing things up a bit.

    If you plateau, you may need to make changes to continue improving. In this case it’s important to talk to your workout partner about the changes you want to make, and if they don’t seem motivated to continue, offer a thirty day break where you both try different activities.

    I notice that guys working out together tend to match strength after a brief adjustment phase. Even if both are trying to improve, something seems to stall improvement once they reach a certain point. I found that I was able to lift as much as 30-50% more after taking a short break from my regular workout partner.

    Final Thoughts

    Learning how to get in shape in as little as two weeks sounds daunting, but if you’re motivated and have the time and energy to devote to it, it’s certainly possible.

    Find an exercise routine that works for you, eat healthy, drink lots of water, and watch as the transformation begins.

    More Tips on Getting in Shape

    Featured photo credit: Alexander Redl via unsplash.com

    Reference

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