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What to Do When It’s Time to Ask for a Divorce

What to Do When It’s Time to Ask for a Divorce

The end of a marriage can be a difficult time. It’s not an easy decision and, for most people, is the last choice after trying to save the relationship after a long period of time.

But when divorce is the only option you got, you will want to make your separation as easy and friendly as possible. Emotions are very sensible, and you’ve been through very difficult times, but with some help, you and your partner can get through this process as easy as it can get. So here are some tips to make it easier for you when you approach your spouse:

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1. Do it at the right time and place.

Be sure you choose the appropriate moment, you don’t want to approach your spouse or wife when he/she is having a bad time because that would only put them very angry. Instead, choose a moment where you can speak calmly, in a quiet place where there’s only the two of you. You will need privacy to talk about this important decision. So just pick a moment where both of you are feeling rested. Usually, a Saturday morning can be a really good moment to talk about this.

2. Use kind dialogue.

Don’t get upset, be very gentle. Maybe what you are going to say is not the nicest thing, but you can say it in a careful and prudent way. Be comprehensive about your partner’s reaction. He or she may get angry at first, but it’s up to you to keep the talk going smoothly. Don’t show frustration or anger, try calming your partner down, and your words will make the difference.

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3. Tell your spouse that you’ll deal with this together.

You two have been through a lot together, and just because your relationship as a couple has come to an end, that doesn’t mean you will be enemies. So try to end this episode as well as can be; you can even end like two good friends. Get some professional help if you need to, and cope with this situation in a positive way.

4. Look for online resources.

Nowadays, there are many online sites that can help you through the process of divorce. Yes; people do it online. Usually, it’s a service that isn’t very expensive and can help you file your divorce in an easy and fast way. Just look for online divorce options on the web that offer it. That way, you save a lot of time and money. Lawyers may charge you a lot more money, and may add more stress on top of the grief you may be feeling.

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5. Think of your children.

If there are kids in between, talk about them too. What will be the best option for them? Do not get into a competition and treat your children like they were trophies. Maybe you can even ask for their opinion, and always make sure they see both of their parents, and never take them away as a type of revenge towards your ex-partner. This can be very difficult for a kid, so try to make it easier for them.

You just need to keep focused and remember that your happiness, success, and wellness are first. It might be one of the hardest decisions in life to let go, but we need to fight for it. You are first, and only then can you help others. It is true that you never know how strong you are. You may have to pretend to be until you start believing it. Do not feel alone; find support with your closest ones (family, friends), legally or even online.

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 “Divorce isn’t a tragedy. A tragedy is staying in an unhappy marriage.”

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Erick Clifford

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Last Updated on December 9, 2019

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

Everyone experiences mental stress at one time or another. Maybe you’re starting a new career, job, or business, or you feel incredibly overwhelmed between work, parenting, and your love life (or a lack of it). It could even be that you simply feel that you have way too much to do and not enough time to do it,  plus, on top of everything, nothing seems to be going the way it should!

Yup, we all experience mental stress from time-to-time, and that’s okay as long as you have the tools, techniques and knowledge that allow you to fully relieve it once it comes.

Here are 5 tips for relieving mental stress when it comes so you can function at your best while feeling good (and doing well) in work, love, or life:

1. Get Rationally Optimistic

Mental stress starts with your perception of your experiences. For instance, most people get stressed out when they perceive their reality as “being wrong” in some way. Essentially, they have a set idea of how things “should be” at any given moment, and when reality ends up being different (not even necessarily bad), they get stressed.

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This process is simply a result of perception and can be easily “fixed” by recognizing that although life might not always be going as YOU think it should, it’s still going as it should—for your own benefit.

In fact, once you fully recognize that everything in your life ultimately happens for your own growth, progress, and development—so you can achieve your goals and dreams—your perception works in your favor. You soon process and respond to your experience of life differently, for your advantage. That’s the essence of becoming “rationally optimistic.”

The result: no more mental stress.

2. Unplug

Just like you might need to unplug your computer when it starts acting all crazy, you should also “unplug” your mind.

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How on earth do you unplug your mind? Simple: just meditate.

It isn’t nearly difficult or complicated as some people think, so, if you don’t already meditate, give it a try. Whether you meditate for 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or 2 hours, this is a surefire way to reduce mental stress.

Meditation has been scientifically proven to relax your body (resulting in less mental stress), while also reducing anxiety and high blood pressure.

3. Easy on the Caffeine

Yes, we know, we know—everyone loves a nice java buzz, and that’s okay, but there’s a fine line between a small caffeine pick-me-up and a racing heart and mind that throws you into a frenzy of mental stress.

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Try giving up caffeine for a while and see how you feel. And, if that’s completely out of the question for you, at least try to minimize it. You might find that lots of your mental stress mysteriously “disappears” as your caffeine intake goes down.

4. Attack Mental Stress Via the Back Door

That’s right: your body and mind are part of the whole being, and are constantly influencing and affecting each other. If you’re experiencing a lot of mental stress, try to reduce it by calming your body down—a calm body equals a calmer mind.

How do you calm your body down and reduce physical stress? A  great way to reduce physical stress (thereby reducing mental stress) is to take natural supplements that are proven to reduce stress and anxiety while lifting your mood. Three good ones to look into are kava-kava, St John’s wort, and rhodiola rosea:

  • Kava-kava is a natural plant known to have mild sedative properties, and you should be able to find it at your natural health food store or vitamin store. It’s available in capsules or liquid extract form.
  • St John’s wort is a natural flower used to treat depression. Again, it’s found at your local health store in capsules or liquid. Because it uplifts mood (enabling you to see the brighter side of all experiences) it helps relieve mental stress as well.
  • Rhodiola rosea is a natural plant shown to reduce stress and uplift mood, and Russian athletes have been using it forever. Like the other two supplements mentioned, rhodiola rosea can be found at your natural health store in capsule or liquid form.

While these supplements are all natural and can be very helpful for most people, always check with your health care provider first as they can cause side-effects depending on your current health situation etc.

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5. Good Old-Fashioned Exercise

This tip has been around forever because it works. Nothing relieves mental stress like running, kickboxing—you name it. Anything super-physical will wipe out most of your mental stresses once the exercise endorphins (happy chemicals) are released into your brain.

The result: mental stress will be gone!

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or just plain stressed, try using some of the above tips. You can even print this out or save it to refer to regularly.

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Featured photo credit: Radu Florin via unsplash.com

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