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Never Be the One Who Waits to Give Flowers

Never Be the One Who Waits to Give Flowers

Too often, we don’t say the things that really should be said until it’s too late to say them.

When someone we love or deeply care about leaves this life, so many things come rushing back to our minds, like the things that we thought to say before, but just didn’t have the courage or the right time to express ourselves. When someone dies, it’s painful, even frustrating and confusing. And if we were close to that person, he or she doesn’t leave our minds or hearts very soon.

The importance of kindness.

It’s always beautiful to hear the kind words people who knew the person say about them at the funeral; the bounty of gifts and flowers that are given to their families or left at their graveside; the meaningful, sincere conversations always spark a fire of admiration and makes us wonder about what that person must be doing in his or her new life.

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It’s really strange why people wait to give flowers and say kind words to people until after they have died. But we do it anyway. We wait until it’s too late to say what could have been said and to do what could have been done. I hear people talk about how someone who has passed away had changed their life for the better or had told them something special or important that had helped shaped their outlook. And those words are genuinely kind and beautiful and meaningful.

However, we wait until it’s too late to say those same words to that person. How much more would it have meant to them if we surprised them with the bouquet while they were alive? Did they even know you felt they were special and thought they had a good impact on your life? Maybe they did. Maybe they didn’t think about it. But we don’t have to guess after the fact if we expressed our feelings now while we still have time.

Time waits for no one.

That person who meant so much to us can be here one minute and gone away the next. And the heartbreak compounds itself when we have so much inside that we could have said and so much that we could have given, but it’s all too late.

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Death has a way of stopping us in our tracks and bringing us back to center. It helps us to put life in perspective and pay attention to the things and people that are important. It tends to pull us and push us back together and makes us think about someone in a way that is meaningful.

Very often, we focus too much on ourselves that we don’t make the time to think about other people and what they mean to us. We’re so focused on getting ahead and being successful, and proving that we’re better that we don’t really think about what others mean to us long enough to actually act upon the thought, and thank them for whatever it is they did to make us who we are.

Act now.

So, right now, stop and think about the one person, or maybe several people, who did something special for you. Maybe they had an encouraging word for you when you were feeling discouraged, or they were the only one to visit you in the hospital, or they celebrated your success without being envious, or they loved you just for who you are.

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Tell that person while they are alive that they mean so much to you.
Bring the flowers now so they can see them. Give them the chocolate truffles now so they can eat them. Don’t wait because soon, it will be too late.

Flowers don’t mean so much to a dead person. They’re nice to buy and place at their graveside, perhaps to help assuage any guilt or hurt we may be feeling, but it means very little compared to the expression on their face when they are alive to receive them. We honestly never know how much time we have on this earth. It is up to us to never be the one who waits until it is too late.

Every day you live is an opportunity to lift someone else up. Tell them what you really think. And then you get the joy of seeing how special, loved, and valued they feel.

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Whatever you want to do for someone, do it now.
Whatever you think about someone, tell them now. However you feel about someone, express it to them now. Now is the only chance you may ever get.

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Daniella Whyte

Psychology Researcher

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

More Resources About Getting out of a Rut

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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