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Never Be the One Who Waits to Give Flowers

Never Be the One Who Waits to Give Flowers

Too often, we don’t say the things that really should be said until it’s too late to say them.

When someone we love or deeply care about leaves this life, so many things come rushing back to our minds, like the things that we thought to say before, but just didn’t have the courage or the right time to express ourselves. When someone dies, it’s painful, even frustrating and confusing. And if we were close to that person, he or she doesn’t leave our minds or hearts very soon.

The importance of kindness.

It’s always beautiful to hear the kind words people who knew the person say about them at the funeral; the bounty of gifts and flowers that are given to their families or left at their graveside; the meaningful, sincere conversations always spark a fire of admiration and makes us wonder about what that person must be doing in his or her new life.

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It’s really strange why people wait to give flowers and say kind words to people until after they have died. But we do it anyway. We wait until it’s too late to say what could have been said and to do what could have been done. I hear people talk about how someone who has passed away had changed their life for the better or had told them something special or important that had helped shaped their outlook. And those words are genuinely kind and beautiful and meaningful.

However, we wait until it’s too late to say those same words to that person. How much more would it have meant to them if we surprised them with the bouquet while they were alive? Did they even know you felt they were special and thought they had a good impact on your life? Maybe they did. Maybe they didn’t think about it. But we don’t have to guess after the fact if we expressed our feelings now while we still have time.

Time waits for no one.

That person who meant so much to us can be here one minute and gone away the next. And the heartbreak compounds itself when we have so much inside that we could have said and so much that we could have given, but it’s all too late.

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Death has a way of stopping us in our tracks and bringing us back to center. It helps us to put life in perspective and pay attention to the things and people that are important. It tends to pull us and push us back together and makes us think about someone in a way that is meaningful.

Very often, we focus too much on ourselves that we don’t make the time to think about other people and what they mean to us. We’re so focused on getting ahead and being successful, and proving that we’re better that we don’t really think about what others mean to us long enough to actually act upon the thought, and thank them for whatever it is they did to make us who we are.

Act now.

So, right now, stop and think about the one person, or maybe several people, who did something special for you. Maybe they had an encouraging word for you when you were feeling discouraged, or they were the only one to visit you in the hospital, or they celebrated your success without being envious, or they loved you just for who you are.

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Tell that person while they are alive that they mean so much to you.
Bring the flowers now so they can see them. Give them the chocolate truffles now so they can eat them. Don’t wait because soon, it will be too late.

Flowers don’t mean so much to a dead person. They’re nice to buy and place at their graveside, perhaps to help assuage any guilt or hurt we may be feeling, but it means very little compared to the expression on their face when they are alive to receive them. We honestly never know how much time we have on this earth. It is up to us to never be the one who waits until it is too late.

Every day you live is an opportunity to lift someone else up. Tell them what you really think. And then you get the joy of seeing how special, loved, and valued they feel.

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Whatever you want to do for someone, do it now.
Whatever you think about someone, tell them now. However you feel about someone, express it to them now. Now is the only chance you may ever get.

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Daniella Whyte

Psychology Researcher

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

    Why You Need a Vision

    Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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    How to Create Your Life Vision

    Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

    What Do You Want?

    The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

    It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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    Some tips to guide you:

    • Remember to ask why you want certain things
    • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
    • Give yourself permission to dream.
    • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
    • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

    Some questions to start your exploration:

    • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
    • What would you like to have more of in your life?
    • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
    • What are your secret passions and dreams?
    • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
    • What do you want your relationships to be like?
    • What qualities would you like to develop?
    • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
    • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
    • What would you most like to accomplish?
    • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

    It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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    What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

    Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

    A few prompts to get you started:

    • What will you have accomplished already?
    • How will you feel about yourself?
    • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
    • What does your ideal day look like?
    • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
    • What would you be doing?
    • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
    • How are you dressed?
    • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
    • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
    • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

    It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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    Plan Backwards

    It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

    • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
    • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
    • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
    • What important actions would you have had to take?
    • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
    • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
    • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
    • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
    • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

    Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

    It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

    Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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