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14 Aphorisms about Dating and Romance

14 Aphorisms about Dating and Romance

Love is a universal language and a universal fixation. We are constantly seeking after it, listening to songs about it, watching friends and family engage in it, and trying to obtain it for ourselves, if we aren’t currently blessed with it. Dating and romance within love, specifically, are no small topics. There are countless books, courses, seminars and coaches dedicated to helping people improve their love lives.

While this post won’t guarantee you success in the dating and romance side of your life, it will provide a handful of distinct insights into how to approach and maintain a romantic relationship with greater depth and authenticity. Read on to discover 14 aphorisms about dating and romance.

1. Comfortable With Your Silence

Even in the best relationships, there will be moments with your significant other when you’re both silent. This is okay. In fact, this is simply human. Life is not filled with constant noise (even positive noise), nor should it be. Seek out someone who is comfortable with (and possibly even enjoys moments of) your silence.

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    2. Learn To Love Yourself

    Yes, every dating relationship is about two people coming together and enjoying the celebration of sharing in one another. Yet, if you don’t learn to healthfully love the person you already are, you’ll always be seeking the approval of others. Learn to appreciate who you are as an individual before you enter the realm of romance.

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      3. Every Woman Deserves A Man Who Will Praise Her

      Men, this one’s for you. The woman you’re with – or the woman you’re seeking – deserves a man who will praise her in front of other women. If you find yourself paying inordinate amounts of attention to other women, it’s time to reevaluate the priorities of your relationship.

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        4. It Is Better To Have Nobody

        It’s tempting to be in a romantic relationship just because of the benefits and feelings it provides. Yet, romantic relationships are a total drain if both people don’t want to be there. Don’t succumb to this tempting pressure.

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          5. Don’t Give Up

          In romance, great relationships take time and effort – just like anything else in life. It can seem like a no-brainer, but countless couples break up because they overlook the simple reality that hard work is required. Find someone who you’re willing and able to commit to, and give them your absolute best.

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            6. If It Makes Her Smile

            This one is self-explanatory. Gentlemen, if it makes her smile, feel free to do it more often!

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              7. Fall In Love With This Type Of Person

              Communication in romance can be deceptive and unfulfilling. Instead of settling for someone who merely “plays the act” well, look for someone whose actions consistently match their words.

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                8. If Life Can Remove Someone

                Oftentimes, life brings about the unexpected. Devastating blows to the romance-filled side of life can be traumatic. Yet, if you lose a dearly loved one, this also opens up room for being blessed with an even greater romantic partner further down the road.

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                  9. The Most Important Thing

                  The vast majority of all communication is non-verbal. That’s why it is so critical to listen to what isn’t being said in your dating relationship. In other words, learn to read between the lines.

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                    10. Never Apologize For This

                    Having emotions is a natural, normal, healthy thing as a human. You should never feel the need to apologize for being emotional or working to adequately and healthfully express your emotions.

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                      11. Be A Fountain

                      Another self-explanatory aphorism. In a romantic relationship (or any relationship, for that matter), it’s about giving out more than you take. Learn to love the act of generosity, and you’ll never be short on fulfilling relationships in your life.

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                        12. The Greatest Things You Can Do

                        Hey there men, this is another word of wisdom for you. The grandest gifts you can give your girl are small, honest gestures that let her know she’s on your mind and in your heart.

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                          13. How To Love A Person

                          Loving your romantic partner can often be easy, or come very naturally. Unfortunately, life isn’t perfect, and there will be numerous bumpy moments along the road. Loving a person involves seeing everything positive that makes them who they are, and reminding them of their goodness when they’ve fallen down.

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                            14. You Can Have This In Romance

                            In order to avoid spoiling the greatness of this image, I won’t write a ton on it. Simply put, when you commit yourself to the patient search of a partner you can give your all to, you will be met with unprecedented romantic success.

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                              Brad Johnson

                              Top 5 Kindle Author | Author of 10 Books

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                              Last Updated on July 10, 2020

                              How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

                              How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

                              We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

                              We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

                              So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

                              Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

                              What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

                              Boundaries are limits

                              —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

                              Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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                              Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

                              Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

                              Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

                              How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

                              Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

                              1. Self-Awareness Comes First

                              Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

                              You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

                              To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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                              You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

                              • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
                              • When do you feel disrespected?
                              • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
                              • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
                              • When do you want to be alone?
                              • How much space do you need?

                              You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

                              2. Clear Communication Is Essential

                              Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

                              Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

                              3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

                              Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

                              That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

                              Sample language:

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                              • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
                              • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
                              • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
                              • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
                              • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
                              • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
                              • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

                              Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

                              4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

                              Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

                              Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

                              Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

                              We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

                              It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

                              It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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                              Final Thoughts

                              Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

                              Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

                              Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

                              The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

                              Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

                              Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

                              They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

                              Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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