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5 Reasons People Are Always Unhappy And Unfulfilled (And How To Overcome It)

5 Reasons People Are Always Unhappy And Unfulfilled (And How To Overcome It)

Everyone feels “off” from time to time. We feel like we aren’t good enough, or that our actions aren’t as noble as we wish they were. We are constantly looking for approval, and worrying that we might not get it. How do we fix this? How do we break away from our worries and fears to just enjoy our lives?

Below are 5 major things everyone feels at one point or another and the solutions to help you feel better.

1. Complaining

    Via: huffingtonpost.com

    We all complain a little too much from time to time. It could be about the weather, our job, our house, our significant other, our friends and family, or about how someone didn’t make your food the correct way at a restaurant. Complaining is so easy to do, and it’s a habit that we all need to break. When you complain, you pick out the negatives with others (rather than the positives).

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    Have you heard the saying “It’s easier to hate someone than to love someone”? While this may seem true, it isn’t. It takes an awful lot to like someone, especially when they seem to get on your nerves whenever you see them. It’s even harder to accept their flaws and love them. Disliking or hating someone is easy, you don’t have to work on building a relationship with them or even attempt to talk to them. While you’re complaining about what they do or don’t do, they’re trying their hardest to show you they’re capable of doing something. The next time you start complaining about something or someone, write down five positive things that out rule the negatives. I promise you will feel better, and eventually you will only see the positives in others.

    2. Under Appreciated

      Via: unsplash.com

      It’s hard to appreciate ourselves when we feel under appreciated. The thing is, we don’t need others to value us in order to value ourselves! Self-love is so important, and a lack of self-love will leave you feeling upset and useless. When you fully accept and love yourself, you open a new world of possibilities.

      Those insecurities you had will soon vanish, and you will feel on top of the world. Loving yourself will promote self-approval and confidence. Plus, you don’t need the approval of someone else in order to feel happy and to appreciate yourself! Be a better you for yourself, and no one else.

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      3. Worrying Too Much

        Via: unsplash.com

        This is something that everyone struggles with from time to time. We worry about things that have happened, things that are currently happening, and things that might happen in the future. We need to remind ourselves that we are not alone when this happens. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all get anxiety from worrying too much. It just so happens that some are worse with this than others.

        The next time you start worrying about things that have or haven’t happened, sit down with a piece of paper and pen, and write out three possible outcomes that are good. When you start writing things down (whether it be goals or happy thoughts) we instantly feel more productive, and we have a grasp on our emotions. Writing has self-soothing abilities, and will eventually enhance your self-knowledge. The next time you start to worry, bring out your paper and pen and jot down happy thoughts, things you wish to happen, or just a short note to yourself. You can even start a “worry journal” where you can write down your fears and thoughts. You can reflect back on it at a later time during the day.

        4. Fear of Loss

          Via: entrepreneur.com

          Sometimes our lives are filled with clutter. It may be material items, or what’s going on in our head. Imagine how free you would feel if you could just clear your mind for a little while. If you lose some memories, or just forget bits and pieces, don’t beat yourself up over it. Perhaps those memories weren’t the greatest, and it’s better that you forgot about them!

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          The same goes for material items. You may say “I could never lose this, I’d be so upset” and misplace whatever it is you’re afraid to lose. Time will go by, and you may not even notice it’s missing until the next time you think “Oh, what did I do with that?”. Suddenly, your heart sinks, and you get frantic looking for your item. The scary truth that you’ll have to face is: It didn’t mean as much to you as you thought it did. If you truly treasured your items, you would find a good place to put them. On your desk, or in a box near your bed. You wouldn’t be so careless with them! So, no worries. Material items come and go, it’s nothing to get upset about.

          5. Overcome Jealousy

            Via: law.uoregon.edu

            We all feel jealous of others sometimes. We look at someone else and become unhappy with who we are / what we look like. Looking through social media can sometimes be a bummer, especially since we only see the positives in somebody else’s life. The thing we seem to forget is that everything is not (always) as it seems. Just because someone you look up to is posting nothing but happy things, doesn’t mean their grass is necessarily greener than yours.

            We all fight our own private battles, some worse than others. We never truly know what someone is going through unless we’re told by that person in particular. Instead of focusing on somebody else’s positives and wishing your life was more like theirs, water your own grass. There is no better way to happiness than keeping your mind busy and focusing on yourself. Who cares if someone has a “better sense of style” than you do? Does style matter when you’re out in the real world? I don’t think so. What matters is what’s on the inside!

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            Featured photo credit: ontheriver09.files.wordpress.com via ontheriver09.files.wordpress.com

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            Last Updated on December 3, 2019

            10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

            10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

            There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

            Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

            1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

            Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

            There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

            Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

            2. Pace Yourself

            Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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            Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

            Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

            3. You Can’t Please Everyone

            “I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

            You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

            Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

            4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

            Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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            We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

            Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

            5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

            “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

            No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

            We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

            6. It’s Not All About You

            You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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            It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

            7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

            No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

            We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

            Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

            8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

            That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

            Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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            Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

            9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

            Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

            The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

            10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

            We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

            When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

            Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

            This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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            Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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