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5 Reasons People Are Always Unhappy And Unfulfilled (And How To Overcome It)

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5 Reasons People Are Always Unhappy And Unfulfilled (And How To Overcome It)

Everyone feels “off” from time to time. We feel like we aren’t good enough, or that our actions aren’t as noble as we wish they were. We are constantly looking for approval, and worrying that we might not get it. How do we fix this? How do we break away from our worries and fears to just enjoy our lives?

Below are 5 major things everyone feels at one point or another and the solutions to help you feel better.

1. Complaining

    Via: huffingtonpost.com

    We all complain a little too much from time to time. It could be about the weather, our job, our house, our significant other, our friends and family, or about how someone didn’t make your food the correct way at a restaurant. Complaining is so easy to do, and it’s a habit that we all need to break. When you complain, you pick out the negatives with others (rather than the positives).

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    Have you heard the saying “It’s easier to hate someone than to love someone”? While this may seem true, it isn’t. It takes an awful lot to like someone, especially when they seem to get on your nerves whenever you see them. It’s even harder to accept their flaws and love them. Disliking or hating someone is easy, you don’t have to work on building a relationship with them or even attempt to talk to them. While you’re complaining about what they do or don’t do, they’re trying their hardest to show you they’re capable of doing something. The next time you start complaining about something or someone, write down five positive things that out rule the negatives. I promise you will feel better, and eventually you will only see the positives in others.

    2. Under Appreciated

      Via: unsplash.com

      It’s hard to appreciate ourselves when we feel under appreciated. The thing is, we don’t need others to value us in order to value ourselves! Self-love is so important, and a lack of self-love will leave you feeling upset and useless. When you fully accept and love yourself, you open a new world of possibilities.

      Those insecurities you had will soon vanish, and you will feel on top of the world. Loving yourself will promote self-approval and confidence. Plus, you don’t need the approval of someone else in order to feel happy and to appreciate yourself! Be a better you for yourself, and no one else.

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      3. Worrying Too Much

        Via: unsplash.com

        This is something that everyone struggles with from time to time. We worry about things that have happened, things that are currently happening, and things that might happen in the future. We need to remind ourselves that we are not alone when this happens. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all get anxiety from worrying too much. It just so happens that some are worse with this than others.

        The next time you start worrying about things that have or haven’t happened, sit down with a piece of paper and pen, and write out three possible outcomes that are good. When you start writing things down (whether it be goals or happy thoughts) we instantly feel more productive, and we have a grasp on our emotions. Writing has self-soothing abilities, and will eventually enhance your self-knowledge. The next time you start to worry, bring out your paper and pen and jot down happy thoughts, things you wish to happen, or just a short note to yourself. You can even start a “worry journal” where you can write down your fears and thoughts. You can reflect back on it at a later time during the day.

        4. Fear of Loss

          Via: entrepreneur.com

          Sometimes our lives are filled with clutter. It may be material items, or what’s going on in our head. Imagine how free you would feel if you could just clear your mind for a little while. If you lose some memories, or just forget bits and pieces, don’t beat yourself up over it. Perhaps those memories weren’t the greatest, and it’s better that you forgot about them!

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          The same goes for material items. You may say “I could never lose this, I’d be so upset” and misplace whatever it is you’re afraid to lose. Time will go by, and you may not even notice it’s missing until the next time you think “Oh, what did I do with that?”. Suddenly, your heart sinks, and you get frantic looking for your item. The scary truth that you’ll have to face is: It didn’t mean as much to you as you thought it did. If you truly treasured your items, you would find a good place to put them. On your desk, or in a box near your bed. You wouldn’t be so careless with them! So, no worries. Material items come and go, it’s nothing to get upset about.

          5. Overcome Jealousy

            Via: law.uoregon.edu

            We all feel jealous of others sometimes. We look at someone else and become unhappy with who we are / what we look like. Looking through social media can sometimes be a bummer, especially since we only see the positives in somebody else’s life. The thing we seem to forget is that everything is not (always) as it seems. Just because someone you look up to is posting nothing but happy things, doesn’t mean their grass is necessarily greener than yours.

            We all fight our own private battles, some worse than others. We never truly know what someone is going through unless we’re told by that person in particular. Instead of focusing on somebody else’s positives and wishing your life was more like theirs, water your own grass. There is no better way to happiness than keeping your mind busy and focusing on yourself. Who cares if someone has a “better sense of style” than you do? Does style matter when you’re out in the real world? I don’t think so. What matters is what’s on the inside!

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            Featured photo credit: ontheriver09.files.wordpress.com via ontheriver09.files.wordpress.com

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            Last Updated on January 5, 2022

            How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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            How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

            We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

            Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

            Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

            Expressing Anger

            Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

            Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

            Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

            Being Passive-Aggressive

            This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

            Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

            This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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            Poorly-Timed

            Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

            An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

            Ongoing Anger

            Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

            Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

            Healthy Ways to Express Anger

            What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

            Being Honest

            Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

            Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

            Being Direct

            Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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            Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

            Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

            Being Timely

            When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

            Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

            Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

            How to Deal With Anger

            If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

            1. Slow Down

            From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

            In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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            When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

            2. Focus on the “I”

            Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

            When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

            3. Work out

            When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

            Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

            Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

            4. Seek Help When Needed

            There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

            5. Practice Relaxation

            We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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            That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

            Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

            6. Laugh

            Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

            7. Be Grateful

            It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

            Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

            Final Thoughts

            Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

            During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

            Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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            More Resources on Anger Management

            Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

            Reference

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