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5 Ways To Crush Negativity And Get Your Success Mojo Going

5 Ways To Crush Negativity And Get Your Success Mojo Going

Success comes to those who believe they will succeed with all their hearts. And they want it so badly, they will sweat and bleed for it.

Success has many attributes. While traits like intelligence, innovation, creativity and acumen are often credited for an entrepreneur’s success, little recognition is given to one of the most important traits for success – mental endurance. Any seasoned entrepreneur will confirm that that failure, rejection and negative outcomes are unavoidable in the adventure of getting your business moving in the right direction.

Mental endurance is the ability to overcome such negativity and establish an unwavering framework for success. Here are my top 5 tried and tested tips on how to fight those demons and mentally set yourself up for certain success.

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1. Acknowledge your thoughts and emotions

Negative thoughts happen time to time. The key is to not shut them out, but to deal with and manage them. They’re generally caused by some form of fear – fear of failure, fear of being judged, fear of loss etc. So go ahead and let that negative thought show up. Play out that fearful situation in your mind so you know exactly what you’re afraid of.

Then deal with it. Determine the root cause of your fear and identify ways by which you would overcome this terrible situation if it occurs. You might even realize that this is a highly improbable situation that’s not likely to occur. Either way, you’ll feel much relieved and calmer.

2. Talk about it (with a friend or even a stranger)

Two things happen when you say your story out loud

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  1. As you vocalize your woes, you’ll be forced to acknowledge your emotions, especially those negative ones. Understanding your feelings can help you find a way to deal with them.
  2. You won’t feel all alone. We’re social creatures and we need some form of social companionship, more so when we’re sad. As you talk about your distress with someone, you’ll feel comforted knowing that someone else is listening. Someone else knows what’s bothering you and can perhaps even help find solutions to your problem.

Share it with a friend who can empathize and provide words of comfort or advice. Or – share it with a stranger. Perhaps your friends or family are too close to the situation or you’re afraid of feeling judged or afraid of letting them know how vulnerable you really feel. At times like this, it can be strangely cathartic to share your story with a stranger that you might never really bump into again.

3. Let go of “what ifs” and “should haves”

It’s really easy to beat yourself up about that bad decision or that wrong turn in life. We all have regrets about paths we took or opportunities we missed. But remember – hindsight is 20/20. We make decisions based on circumstances and information available at the time. We know more now and our thoughts have evolved since then.

So realize that it truly wasn’t your fault and give yourself a break. It’s absolutely impossible to walk through life without a single misstep. Take it as a learning experience and make a note to yourself about what to watch out for the next time you’re faced with something similar.

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4. Purge toxic people

Toxic people take you down. Some play victim all the time and pass that helpless attitude on to you. Some feel the need to give unsolicited advice that might leave you second guessing yourself. Some might constantly question your path and encourage you to change. There are many types. You know they’re toxic when you feel disheartened, doubtful, angry or despondent after interacting with them. It’s possible they’re unintentionally toxic. Yet, they leave you feeling self-doubt when you shouldn’t, feeling like a failure when you aren’t and feeling you’re doing the wrong thing when it might actually be the right thing for you. You don’t need that type of negative influence. So, let them go.

Disengage from that type of person quickly. It can be hard because some of them can be close friends or even close family. If it’s someone too close, then perhaps disconnect for a little while and re-engage after you’ve the built mental resilience that makes you immune to them. If not, just let them go. You’ll be glad you did. Replace that interaction with truly successful, supportive and positive people. You’re sure to notice a positive shift in your attitude and productivity within weeks.

5. Redefine and envision your success

Success means many things to many people and cultures. We are generally conditioned from a young age to understand what success is as it is defined by our cultures, society, teachers, friends and family. Measuring yourself against someone else’s yardstick of success can leave you feeling like a failure.

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Identify what success means to you based on who you’ve grown up to be and not by what it means to everyone around you. There are many paths to success. And it’s never too late in life to be successful. Success can also be the journey instead of the destination.

Define your success by what you want. Then envision it – what does it feel like, what will you be doing when you get there. Work backwards to identify what you need to do today to get to that successful place tomorrow. You’ll begin to feel clarity and focus without distraction.

Featured photo credit: VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on March 29, 2021

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

5 Types of Horrible Bosses and How to Beat Them All

When I left university I took a job immediately, I had been lucky as I had spent a year earning almost nothing as an intern so I was offered a role. On my first day I found that I had not been allocated a desk, there was no one to greet me so I was left for some hours ignored. I happened to snipe about this to another employee at the coffee machine two things happened. The first was that the person I had complained to was my new manager’s wife, and the second was, in his own words, ‘that he would come down on me like a ton of bricks if I crossed him…’

What a great start to a job! I had moved to a new city, and had been at work for less than a morning when I had my first run in with the first style of bad manager. I didn’t stay long enough to find out what Mr Agressive would do next. Bad managers are a major issue. Research from Approved Index shows that more than four in ten employees (42%) state that they have previously quit a job because of a bad manager.

The Dream Type Of Manager

My best manager was a total opposite. A man who had been the head of the UK tax system and was working his retirement running a company I was a very junior and green employee for. I made a stupid mistake, one which cost a lot of time and money and I felt I was going to be sacked without doubt.

I was nervous, beating myself up about what I had done, what would happen. At the end of the day I was called to his office, he had made me wait and I had spent that day talking to other employees, trying to understand where I had gone wrong. It had been a simple mistyped line of code which sent a massive print job out totally wrong. I learn how I should have done it and I fretted.

My boss asked me to step into his office, he asked me to sit down. “Do you know what you did?” I babbled, yes, I had been stupid, I had not double-checked or asked for advice when I was doing something I had not really understood. It was totally my fault. He paused. “Will you do that again?” Of course I told him I would not, I would always double check, ask for help and not try to be so clever when I was not!

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“Okay…”

That was it. I paused and asked, should I clear my desk. He smiled. “You have learnt a valuable lesson, I can be sure that you will never make a mistake like that again. Why would I want to get rid of an employee who knows that?”

I stayed with that company for many years, the way I was treated was a real object lesson in good management. Sadly, far too many poor managers exist out there.

The Complete Catalogue of Bad Managers

The Bully

My first boss fitted into the classic bully class. This is so often the ‘old school’ management by power style. I encountered this style again in the retail sector where one manager felt the only way to get the best from staff was to bawl and yell.

However, like so many bullies you will often find that this can be someone who either knows no better or is under stress and they are themselves running scared of the situation they have found themselves in.

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The Invisible Boss

This can either present itself as management from afar (usually the golf course or ‘important meetings) or just a boss who is too busy being important to deal with their staff.

It can feel refreshing as you will often have almost total freedom with your manager taking little or no interest in your activities, however you will soon find that you also lack the support that a good manager will provide. Without direction you may feel you are doing well just to find that you are not delivering against expectations you were not told about and suddenly it is all your fault.

The Micro Manager

The frustration of having a manager who feels the need to be involved in everything you do. The polar opposite to the Invisible Boss you will feel that there is no trust in your work as they will want to meddle in everything you do.

Dealing with the micro-manager can be difficult. Often their management style comes from their own insecurity. You can try confronting them, tell them that you can do your job however in many cases this will not succeed and can in fact make things worse.

The Over Promoted Boss

The Over promoted boss categorises someone who has no idea. They have found themselves in a management position through service, family or some corporate mystery. They are people who are not only highly unqualified to be managers they will generally be unable to do even your job.

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You can find yourself persistently frustrated by the situation you are in, however it can seem impossible to get out without handing over your resignation.

The Credit Stealer

The credit stealer is the boss who will never publically acknowledge the work you do. You will put in the extra hours working on a project and you know that, in the ‘big meeting’ it will be your credit stealing boss who will take all of the credit!

Again it is demoralising, you see all of the credit for your labour being stolen and this can often lead to good employees looking for new careers.

3 Essential Ways to Work (Cope) with Bad Managers

Whatever type of bad boss you have there are certain things that you can do to ensure that you get the recognition and protection you require to not only remain sane but to also build your career.

1. Keep evidence

Whether it is incidents with the bully or examples of projects you have completed with the credit stealer you will always be well served to keep notes and supporting evidence for projects you are working on.

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Buy your own notebook and ensure that you are always making notes, it becomes a habit and a very useful one as you have a constant reminder as well as somewhere to explore ideas.

Importantly, if you do have to go to HR or stand-up for yourself you will have clear records! Also, don’t always trust that corporate servers or emails will always be available or not tampered with. Keep your own content.

2. Hold regular meetings

Ensure that you make time for regular meetings with your boss. This is especially useful for the over-promoted or the invisible boss to allow you to ‘manage upwards’. Take charge where you can to set your objectives and use these meetings to set clear objectives and document the status of your work.

3. Stand your ground, but be ready to jump…

Remember that you don’t have to put up with poor management. If you have issues you should face them with your boss, maybe they do not know that they are coming across in a bad way.

However, be ready to recognise if the situation is not going to change. If that is the case, keep your head down and get working on polishing your CV! If it isn’t working, there will be something better out there for you!

Good luck!

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