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To Love Oneself is The Beginning of A Lifelong Romance

To Love Oneself is The Beginning of A Lifelong Romance

Change is the only constant.

In life, the situations in which we find ourselves and the relationships we enter into are always time-limited. Whether these relationships last for a few weeks or a few decades, we are always aware that those we love could be taken from us at any moment. Bereavements, breakups, and unforeseen circumstances can all conspire to change our lives in the course of a mere few seconds.

In this respect, everyone in our lives is like a passenger on board a train. Everyone gets off the train sooner or later, and the sooner we accept this truth, the more readily we can adjust our outlook on life in such a way that increases our chances of self-acceptance and inner peace. When we truly embrace impermanence, we are also more likely to learn from past experiences and carry these lessons forward to lead a more peaceful life filled with healthy relationships.

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The danger of relying on others for love and validation.

When you depend on other people for love and approval, you set yourself up for a fall because all relationships end eventually. Those who love themselves know that whilst happy relationships with others are a great joy in life and can be tremendously enriching, the only person upon whom one can depend to provide love and support is yourself. Otherwise, you risk personal devastation every time a friend, relative, or romantic partner rejects you or threatens the existence of your relationship.

In extreme cases, people who depend on other people for approval and affection bend and twist themselves out of all recognition; trying to please everyone and seek for attention. This can lead to poor self-esteem and a greatly diminished sense of self-respect. In contrast, when you love and respect yourself for who you are, you are free to live a more authentic life in keeping with your true nature. You learn to balance striking compromises, remaining flexible, and staying in touch with who you are.

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Courting, befriending and loving yourself.

As those who show themselves love and care know, self-love is the only kind of love upon which you can depend. When you take the time to know yourself, a lifelong romance can begin. Only when you become accustomed to spending time by yourself can you gain a true appreciation of your needs, wants, and desires.

This, in turn, helps you imagine and ultimately build the kind of life you need. Spending time engaging in your favorite activities, taking yourself on trips and expeditions, and staying as healthy as possible are all steps that will increase your self-appreciation, acceptance, and self-love.

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Never feel lonely again.

When you truly love and appreciate yourself, you will never feel lonely again. You will always have your own self-reliance and self-approval to see you through life’s challenges. When you come up against adversity, you will always be able to look to yourself, and your inner resources to help you move past the barriers that lie in your way.

People who fully understand the importance of self-love enjoy connecting with other people, but they never make the mistake of depending on them to prop up their sense of self or to provide them with a purpose in life. Those who are secure in their identities and believe themselves to be just as valuable as any other human being never feel the need to seek out validation as they carve out their own paths in life.

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Self-love is an ongoing project that is well worth the effort. When you truly nurture yourself, even times of great stress and hardship seem more bearable.

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Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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