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Signs That You’re Capable Of Feeling Fulfilled On Your Own

Signs That You’re Capable Of Feeling Fulfilled On Your Own

1. Alone time never feels lonely.

When you’re a healthy, self-sufficient person time alone is a pleasure. You aren’t checking your phone every ten minutes to see if anyone texted, Whatsapped, or tagged you in a Facebook post. You relish your alone time because you’ve got plenty of  #%*$ to do, and it’s easier to get it done without any distractions. Or you’re simply happy to be able to have time to take care of yourself and have time for stuff like reading a book, binge watching that show you’ve got six episodes queued up of, or doing your beauty regime.

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2. You can go a day without texting or calling someone (except for work obligations) or updating your statuses online.

O.K so we are all somewhat addicted to our phones these days. It’s where we check work emails and answer calls- not just where we do meaningless stuff like check out FB updates or play games. If you’re someone who doesn’t rely on others to validate your popularity or to keep you entertained, you’ll find it easier to take a device-free day and not freak out about it. (Obviously don’t do it on a workday if you need your phone for work.) Secure, fulfilled people don’t feel the need to get public responses to everything they do, or to chat about nothing. They might do it for fun sometimes, but won’t feel it’s a huge loss if they aren’t online for a few days.

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3. You break up with people when they aren’t right for you. You’re o.k. with being single until someone truly great comes along.

Relationships can be awesome. Having a partner to do everything with and cuddle with on movie night is something most of us would like. Who doesn’ t like to be part of a romance? There’s a difference between being in a rewarding relationship and just killing time with people so you don’t have to be alone. Self-fulfilled people understand this and are happy enough to wait until someone they really like (and who deserves it) comes along. They have friends and also their own company (which they find enjoyable) and that’s enough. If Mr. Right comes along, great! Until then, “la vita e bella”  anyways!

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4. You travel solo or attend social events solo and don’t feel awkward.

Sure when we were kids everyone’s worst nightmare might have been showing up to a dance alone, or being out on the playground with no one to play with. That’s because we were kids! Getting older brings more life experience and more confidence. It also teaches us how to socialize better and to talk to strangers even when we don’t want to. (He hem… been to a networking event, office party, or interview lately?) Some people find showing up to events, or traveling solo a scary thing. Not you! You are a comfortable, poised social curator who’s not afraid to sit alone at a restaurant or café while writing in your journal, taking in the scenery, or walking up and introducing yourself to the group of people milling around near the door of the LinkedIn business mixer you hit up solo after work. If you want to get out there and do things, you do them. Even if you can’t always find someone free to do them with you.

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5. You take care of yourself even when no one is watching.

We all know what we should be doing to take care of ourselves and our health. However, many people don’t practice healthy habits unless someone is watching. Having a partner always around (or a group) watching motivates many people to take better care of themselves. When you don’t need someone else to convince you to be good to yourself, you take care of yourself every day, not just on the days that people see you. You hit the gym or take a run even when you don’t want to because you know if you don’t do it, it’ll keep getting harder. You floss your teeth even when it’s not almost your dental check up date, because you know it’ll keep you from having worse problems in the future.  In short, you value yourself enough to take care of the amazing vessel (your body) you were given.

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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