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The Art Of Being Happy On Your Own (That Everyone Should Master)

The Art Of Being Happy On Your Own (That Everyone Should Master)

As anyone who has been in a relationship knows, there are no guarantees in life when it comes to the behavior of other people. Although spending time with others is one of life’s greatest joys, the ability to be content in one’s own company is an important skill to learn.

You cannot and should not try to control the behavior of other people, but you can certainly choose how to respond to their actions, and you can choose the way in which you live your life..

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Being Alone Is Not The Same As Being Lonely

When you are able to enjoy being alone, you feel less dependent on others. This means that you become more selective in who you choose to be with, which in turn will improve the quality of your relationships and life satisfaction in general. When you can look to yourself for happiness, you will also feel less inclined to try and control other people and get them to meet your own needs. This means that you start to respect other people for their true selves, and not what they can add to your life. When you approach life and friendships in this way, you will actually find that other people bring you more happiness than they did previously, because you are striving for authentic connections rather than an individual who can serve a particular purpose to you.

Being content to be alone also means that you feel free to pursue your own interests. When you are happy to follow your own path in life, you know that regardless of what happens around you and in your relationships, you are able to create a life worth living that isn’t reliant on the attitudes or actions of others. This is hugely empowering. People who are capable of being happy by themselves get the opportunity to develop to their full potential, and grow to trust their own talents and idiosyncrasies. They become secure in their own identities, and learn to take the time needed to make positive decisions that take them in the right direction.

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View Yourself As A Person Worth Knowing.

A key component of learning how to be happy on your own is to build self-esteem and self-trust. When you value yourself and demonstrate faith in your own judgements, you come to view yourself as a person worth knowing. Make an effort to get to know yourself. What are your values, your goals in life, the things you hold to be most important? Self-knowledge is the first step to self-trust, which in turn builds self-esteem.

Make your own adventures. Don’t wait around for a partner or friend to give you permission to explore the world around you, or to pursue new avenues. Your pursuits are just as important as anyone else’s, and when you honor them as such, your self-image will improve still further. If you have always wanted to try something new, take the opportunity to follow a passion independently. If you meet new people along the way then see this as an added bonus, but keep your focus on personal development and happiness.

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Being happy alone may feel a very alien concept at first. Most of us are raised to believe that in order to be considered a functional adult and to be happy, we ought to be in a relationship or at the very least to socialise on a regular basis with others. However, we can choose to challenge these beliefs.

Take small steps first. Go to a park and read a good book by yourself. Go to a movie alone. Over time, you will find that you are pretty good company!

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Featured photo credit: averie woodard via unsplash.com

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Jay Hill

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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