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The Art Of Being Happy On Your Own (That Everyone Should Master)

The Art Of Being Happy On Your Own (That Everyone Should Master)

As anyone who has been in a relationship knows, there are no guarantees in life when it comes to the behavior of other people. Although spending time with others is one of life’s greatest joys, the ability to be content in one’s own company is an important skill to learn.

You cannot and should not try to control the behavior of other people, but you can certainly choose how to respond to their actions, and you can choose the way in which you live your life..

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Being Alone Is Not The Same As Being Lonely

When you are able to enjoy being alone, you feel less dependent on others. This means that you become more selective in who you choose to be with, which in turn will improve the quality of your relationships and life satisfaction in general. When you can look to yourself for happiness, you will also feel less inclined to try and control other people and get them to meet your own needs. This means that you start to respect other people for their true selves, and not what they can add to your life. When you approach life and friendships in this way, you will actually find that other people bring you more happiness than they did previously, because you are striving for authentic connections rather than an individual who can serve a particular purpose to you.

Being content to be alone also means that you feel free to pursue your own interests. When you are happy to follow your own path in life, you know that regardless of what happens around you and in your relationships, you are able to create a life worth living that isn’t reliant on the attitudes or actions of others. This is hugely empowering. People who are capable of being happy by themselves get the opportunity to develop to their full potential, and grow to trust their own talents and idiosyncrasies. They become secure in their own identities, and learn to take the time needed to make positive decisions that take them in the right direction.

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View Yourself As A Person Worth Knowing.

A key component of learning how to be happy on your own is to build self-esteem and self-trust. When you value yourself and demonstrate faith in your own judgements, you come to view yourself as a person worth knowing. Make an effort to get to know yourself. What are your values, your goals in life, the things you hold to be most important? Self-knowledge is the first step to self-trust, which in turn builds self-esteem.

Make your own adventures. Don’t wait around for a partner or friend to give you permission to explore the world around you, or to pursue new avenues. Your pursuits are just as important as anyone else’s, and when you honor them as such, your self-image will improve still further. If you have always wanted to try something new, take the opportunity to follow a passion independently. If you meet new people along the way then see this as an added bonus, but keep your focus on personal development and happiness.

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Being happy alone may feel a very alien concept at first. Most of us are raised to believe that in order to be considered a functional adult and to be happy, we ought to be in a relationship or at the very least to socialise on a regular basis with others. However, we can choose to challenge these beliefs.

Take small steps first. Go to a park and read a good book by yourself. Go to a movie alone. Over time, you will find that you are pretty good company!

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Featured photo credit: averie woodard via unsplash.com

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Jay Hill

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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