As anyone who has been in a relationship knows, there are no guarantees in life when it comes to the behavior of other people. Although spending time with others is one of life’s greatest joys, the ability to be content in one’s own company is an important skill to learn.
You cannot and should not try to control the behavior of other people, but you can certainly choose how to respond to their actions, and you can choose the way in which you live your life..
Being Alone Is Not The Same As Being Lonely
When you are able to enjoy being alone, you feel less dependent on others. This means that you become more selective in who you choose to be with, which in turn will improve the quality of your relationships and life satisfaction in general. When you can look to yourself for happiness, you will also feel less inclined to try and control other people and get them to meet your own needs. This means that you start to respect other people for their true selves, and not what they can add to your life. When you approach life and friendships in this way, you will actually find that other people bring you more happiness than they did previously, because you are striving for authentic connections rather than an individual who can serve a particular purpose to you.
Being content to be alone also means that you feel free to pursue your own interests. When you are happy to follow your own path in life, you know that regardless of what happens around you and in your relationships, you are able to create a life worth living that isn’t reliant on the attitudes or actions of others. This is hugely empowering. People who are capable of being happy by themselves get the opportunity to develop to their full potential, and grow to trust their own talents and idiosyncrasies. They become secure in their own identities, and learn to take the time needed to make positive decisions that take them in the right direction.
View Yourself As A Person Worth Knowing.
A key component of learning how to be happy on your own is to build self-esteem and self-trust. When you value yourself and demonstrate faith in your own judgements, you come to view yourself as a person worth knowing. Make an effort to get to know yourself. What are your values, your goals in life, the things you hold to be most important? Self-knowledge is the first step to self-trust, which in turn builds self-esteem.
Make your own adventures. Don’t wait around for a partner or friend to give you permission to explore the world around you, or to pursue new avenues. Your pursuits are just as important as anyone else’s, and when you honor them as such, your self-image will improve still further. If you have always wanted to try something new, take the opportunity to follow a passion independently. If you meet new people along the way then see this as an added bonus, but keep your focus on personal development and happiness.
Being happy alone may feel a very alien concept at first. Most of us are raised to believe that in order to be considered a functional adult and to be happy, we ought to be in a relationship or at the very least to socialise on a regular basis with others. However, we can choose to challenge these beliefs.
Take small steps first. Go to a park and read a good book by yourself. Go to a movie alone. Over time, you will find that you are pretty good company!
Featured photo credit: averie woodard via unsplash.com