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7 Brutal Truths About Being A 30-Something Mom

7 Brutal Truths About Being A 30-Something Mom

Being a mom in your 30s isn’t easy. Parenting may be one of the most common life experiences, but that doesn’t mean it’s straightforward. This is particularly true for moms in their 30s and 40s. At this age, you face a set of particular challenges when parenting your children.

1. Your energy is dwindling but the demands are increasing.

During your teens and twenties, you may have been able to hold down a full-time job whilst partying at weekends and staying up late on weeknights. Now, in your thirties, you can no longer dance all night and would probably rather spend the evening relaxing after a long day at work. Unfortunately, when you have a child, you don’t get a break. This means that just when your natural energy levels are starting to drop, you have more demands than ever in the form of a baby.

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2. The expectations are immense.

As an established adult, people expect you to not only perform well in your job and keep a relationship together but also to master the art of parenting with ease. You may be struggling to maintain your position on the career ladder whilst keeping your partner happy and getting up in the night to tend to your baby, only to have other people imply that this state of affairs is entirely natural and normal. Rest assured that you are not the only one suffering under the weight of great expectations.

3. Your parents still interfere.

Although you have been an adult for years, your parents may still offer their unsolicited input at every opportunity when it comes to childrearing. From what to feed your child to how they should be dressed in the winter, your parents may tell you that they know best because they’ve been there and seen it all when it comes to bringing up babies. Even though their advice may be well-intentioned, it can still be highly irritating to feel undermined at every step. Try not to lose confidence in your parenting abilities.

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4. You are expected to be independent, even though you may need help.

Now that you are in your thirties, you are an independent adult who is perfectly capable of sorting out your own life. However, this doesn’t mean that you couldn’t use a little bit of help from time to time. People often forget that being a parent is an extremely tough job. When you are juggling multiple responsibilities alongside bringing up a baby (jobs, pets, community service, etc.), you may long for the day someone asks whether or not you are really managing.

5. Your kids grow up faster than you imagined!

You may have chosen to delay parenthood until your thirties, imagining that it would give you a chance to settle down in your career or buy the best home possible. It can be quite shocking the first time you realize how fast time flies when you are raising your kids. Life seems to happen at lightning speed. Children grow at such a rapid rate that they can leave you feeling disoriented! For example, it is surprising just how often you have to buy yet more new clothes as they outgrow that outfit you only bought a few weeks ago.

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6. You struggle to balance time with your kids and time with your parents.

As you enter your thirties, your parents will probably be entering their senior years. You become conscious of the fact that they are getting older, and you may begin to wonder how you will manage without them. These feelings are most likely to surface for the first time when one of your parents has an accident or health scare. You may vow to spend more time with them, but also struggle to balance this with the time you spend with your own children.

7. You are not alone.

If you recognize yourself in the list above, know that you are not alone. Many 30-something moms feel the same way. If you have any friends in the same position, consider talking to them about your problems. They will probably be able to sympathize and lend support. Alternatively, contact your local community center and find out whether there are any parenting support groups you could join.

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Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

7 Simple Rules to Live by to Get in Shape in Two Weeks

Learning how to get in shape and set goals is important if you’re looking to live a healthier lifestyle and get closer to your goal weight. While this does require changes to your daily routine, you’ll find that you are able to look and feel better in only two weeks.

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to get in shape. Although anyone can cover the basics (eat right and exercise), there are some things that I could only learn through trial and error. Let’s cover some of the most important points for how to get in shape in two weeks.

1. Exercise Daily

It is far easier to make exercise a habit if it is a daily one. If you aren’t exercising at all, I recommend starting by exercising a half hour every day. When you only exercise a couple times per week, it is much easier to turn one day off into three days off, a week off, or a month off.

If you are already used to exercising, switching to three or four times a week to fit your schedule may be preferable, but it is a lot harder to maintain a workout program you don’t do every day.

Be careful to not repeat the same exercise routine each day. If you do an intense ab workout one day, try switching it up to general cardio the next. You can also squeeze in a day of light walking to break up the intensity.

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If you’re a morning person, check out these morning exercises that will start your day off right.

2. Duration Doesn’t Substitute for Intensity

Once you get into the habit of regular exercise, where do you go if you still aren’t reaching your goals? Most people will solve the problem by exercising for longer periods of time, turning forty-minute workouts into two hour stretches. Not only does this drain your time, but it doesn’t work particularly well.

One study shows that “exercising for a whole hour instead of a half does not provide any additional loss in either body weight or fat”[1].

This is great news for both your schedule and your levels of motivation. You’ll likely find it much easier to exercise for 30 minutes a day instead of an hour. In those 30 minutes, do your best to up the intensity to your appropriate edge to get the most out of the time.

3. Acknowledge Your Limits

Many people get frustrated when they plateau in their weight loss or muscle gaining goals as they’re learning how to get in shape. Everyone has an equilibrium and genetic set point where their body wants to remain. This doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve your fitness goals, but don’t be too hard on yourself if you are struggling to lose weight or put on muscle.

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Acknowledging a set point doesn’t mean giving up, but it does mean realizing the obstacles you face.

Expect to hit a plateau in your own fitness results[2]. When you expect a plateau, you can manage around it so you can continue your progress at a more realistic rate. When expectations meet reality, you can avoid dietary crashes.

4. Eat Healthy, Not Just Food That Looks Healthy

Know what you eat. Don’t fuss over minutia like whether you’re getting enough Omega 3’s or tryptophan, but be aware of the big things. Look at the foods you eat regularly and figure out whether they are healthy or not. Don’t get fooled by the deceptively healthy snacks just pretending to be good for you.

The basic nutritional advice includes:

  • Eat unprocessed foods
  • Eat more veggies
  • Use meat as a side dish, not a main course
  • Eat whole grains, not refined grains[3]

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Eat whole grains when you want to learn how to get in shape.

    5. Watch Out for Travel

    Don’t let a four-day holiday interfere with your attempts when you’re learning how to get in shape. I don’t mean that you need to follow your diet and exercise plan without any excursion, but when you are in the first few weeks, still forming habits, be careful that a week long break doesn’t terminate your progress.

    This is also true of schedule changes that leave you suddenly busy or make it difficult to exercise. Have a backup plan so you can be consistent, at least for the first month when you are forming habits.

    If travel is on your schedule and can’t be avoided, make an exercise plan before you go[4], and make sure to pack exercise clothes and an exercise mat as motivation to keep you on track.

    6. Start Slow

    Ever start an exercise plan by running ten miles and then puking your guts out? Maybe you aren’t that extreme, but burnout is common early on when learning how to get in shape. You have a lifetime to be healthy, so don’t try to go from couch potato to athletic superstar in a week.

    If you are starting a running regime, for example, run less than you can to start. Starting strength training? Work with less weight than you could theoretically lift. Increasing intensity and pushing yourself can come later when your body becomes comfortable with regular exercise.

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    7. Be Careful When Choosing a Workout Partner

    Should you have a workout partner? That depends. Workout partners can help you stay motivated and make exercising more fun. But they can also stop you from reaching your goals.

    My suggestion would be to have a workout partner, but when you start to plateau (either in physical ability, weight loss/gain, or overall health) and you haven’t reached your goals, consider mixing things up a bit.

    If you plateau, you may need to make changes to continue improving. In this case it’s important to talk to your workout partner about the changes you want to make, and if they don’t seem motivated to continue, offer a thirty day break where you both try different activities.

    I notice that guys working out together tend to match strength after a brief adjustment phase. Even if both are trying to improve, something seems to stall improvement once they reach a certain point. I found that I was able to lift as much as 30-50% more after taking a short break from my regular workout partner.

    Final Thoughts

    Learning how to get in shape in as little as two weeks sounds daunting, but if you’re motivated and have the time and energy to devote to it, it’s certainly possible.

    Find an exercise routine that works for you, eat healthy, drink lots of water, and watch as the transformation begins.

    More Tips on Getting in Shape

    Featured photo credit: Alexander Redl via unsplash.com

    Reference

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