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7 Brutal Truths About Being A 30-Something Mom

7 Brutal Truths About Being A 30-Something Mom

Being a mom in your 30s isn’t easy. Parenting may be one of the most common life experiences, but that doesn’t mean it’s straightforward. This is particularly true for moms in their 30s and 40s. At this age, you face a set of particular challenges when parenting your children.

1. Your energy is dwindling but the demands are increasing.

During your teens and twenties, you may have been able to hold down a full-time job whilst partying at weekends and staying up late on weeknights. Now, in your thirties, you can no longer dance all night and would probably rather spend the evening relaxing after a long day at work. Unfortunately, when you have a child, you don’t get a break. This means that just when your natural energy levels are starting to drop, you have more demands than ever in the form of a baby.

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2. The expectations are immense.

As an established adult, people expect you to not only perform well in your job and keep a relationship together but also to master the art of parenting with ease. You may be struggling to maintain your position on the career ladder whilst keeping your partner happy and getting up in the night to tend to your baby, only to have other people imply that this state of affairs is entirely natural and normal. Rest assured that you are not the only one suffering under the weight of great expectations.

3. Your parents still interfere.

Although you have been an adult for years, your parents may still offer their unsolicited input at every opportunity when it comes to childrearing. From what to feed your child to how they should be dressed in the winter, your parents may tell you that they know best because they’ve been there and seen it all when it comes to bringing up babies. Even though their advice may be well-intentioned, it can still be highly irritating to feel undermined at every step. Try not to lose confidence in your parenting abilities.

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4. You are expected to be independent, even though you may need help.

Now that you are in your thirties, you are an independent adult who is perfectly capable of sorting out your own life. However, this doesn’t mean that you couldn’t use a little bit of help from time to time. People often forget that being a parent is an extremely tough job. When you are juggling multiple responsibilities alongside bringing up a baby (jobs, pets, community service, etc.), you may long for the day someone asks whether or not you are really managing.

5. Your kids grow up faster than you imagined!

You may have chosen to delay parenthood until your thirties, imagining that it would give you a chance to settle down in your career or buy the best home possible. It can be quite shocking the first time you realize how fast time flies when you are raising your kids. Life seems to happen at lightning speed. Children grow at such a rapid rate that they can leave you feeling disoriented! For example, it is surprising just how often you have to buy yet more new clothes as they outgrow that outfit you only bought a few weeks ago.

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6. You struggle to balance time with your kids and time with your parents.

As you enter your thirties, your parents will probably be entering their senior years. You become conscious of the fact that they are getting older, and you may begin to wonder how you will manage without them. These feelings are most likely to surface for the first time when one of your parents has an accident or health scare. You may vow to spend more time with them, but also struggle to balance this with the time you spend with your own children.

7. You are not alone.

If you recognize yourself in the list above, know that you are not alone. Many 30-something moms feel the same way. If you have any friends in the same position, consider talking to them about your problems. They will probably be able to sympathize and lend support. Alternatively, contact your local community center and find out whether there are any parenting support groups you could join.

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Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on December 9, 2019

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

5 Simple Ways to Relieve Stress Effectively

Everyone experiences mental stress at one time or another. Maybe you’re starting a new career, job, or business, or you feel incredibly overwhelmed between work, parenting, and your love life (or a lack of it). It could even be that you simply feel that you have way too much to do and not enough time to do it,  plus, on top of everything, nothing seems to be going the way it should!

Yup, we all experience mental stress from time-to-time, and that’s okay as long as you have the tools, techniques and knowledge that allow you to fully relieve it once it comes.

Here are 5 tips for relieving mental stress when it comes so you can function at your best while feeling good (and doing well) in work, love, or life:

1. Get Rationally Optimistic

Mental stress starts with your perception of your experiences. For instance, most people get stressed out when they perceive their reality as “being wrong” in some way. Essentially, they have a set idea of how things “should be” at any given moment, and when reality ends up being different (not even necessarily bad), they get stressed.

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This process is simply a result of perception and can be easily “fixed” by recognizing that although life might not always be going as YOU think it should, it’s still going as it should—for your own benefit.

In fact, once you fully recognize that everything in your life ultimately happens for your own growth, progress, and development—so you can achieve your goals and dreams—your perception works in your favor. You soon process and respond to your experience of life differently, for your advantage. That’s the essence of becoming “rationally optimistic.”

The result: no more mental stress.

2. Unplug

Just like you might need to unplug your computer when it starts acting all crazy, you should also “unplug” your mind.

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How on earth do you unplug your mind? Simple: just meditate.

It isn’t nearly difficult or complicated as some people think, so, if you don’t already meditate, give it a try. Whether you meditate for 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or 2 hours, this is a surefire way to reduce mental stress.

Meditation has been scientifically proven to relax your body (resulting in less mental stress), while also reducing anxiety and high blood pressure.

3. Easy on the Caffeine

Yes, we know, we know—everyone loves a nice java buzz, and that’s okay, but there’s a fine line between a small caffeine pick-me-up and a racing heart and mind that throws you into a frenzy of mental stress.

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Try giving up caffeine for a while and see how you feel. And, if that’s completely out of the question for you, at least try to minimize it. You might find that lots of your mental stress mysteriously “disappears” as your caffeine intake goes down.

4. Attack Mental Stress Via the Back Door

That’s right: your body and mind are part of the whole being, and are constantly influencing and affecting each other. If you’re experiencing a lot of mental stress, try to reduce it by calming your body down—a calm body equals a calmer mind.

How do you calm your body down and reduce physical stress? A  great way to reduce physical stress (thereby reducing mental stress) is to take natural supplements that are proven to reduce stress and anxiety while lifting your mood. Three good ones to look into are kava-kava, St John’s wort, and rhodiola rosea:

  • Kava-kava is a natural plant known to have mild sedative properties, and you should be able to find it at your natural health food store or vitamin store. It’s available in capsules or liquid extract form.
  • St John’s wort is a natural flower used to treat depression. Again, it’s found at your local health store in capsules or liquid. Because it uplifts mood (enabling you to see the brighter side of all experiences) it helps relieve mental stress as well.
  • Rhodiola rosea is a natural plant shown to reduce stress and uplift mood, and Russian athletes have been using it forever. Like the other two supplements mentioned, rhodiola rosea can be found at your natural health store in capsule or liquid form.

While these supplements are all natural and can be very helpful for most people, always check with your health care provider first as they can cause side-effects depending on your current health situation etc.

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5. Good Old-Fashioned Exercise

This tip has been around forever because it works. Nothing relieves mental stress like running, kickboxing—you name it. Anything super-physical will wipe out most of your mental stresses once the exercise endorphins (happy chemicals) are released into your brain.

The result: mental stress will be gone!

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or just plain stressed, try using some of the above tips. You can even print this out or save it to refer to regularly.

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Featured photo credit: Radu Florin via unsplash.com

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