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If You Want To Be Genuinely Happy, Try Losing Things

If You Want To Be Genuinely Happy, Try Losing Things

The idea that possessions make us happy is an illusion. Putting all our happiness into things and even people or past experiences is ultimately allowing us to cultivate a notion that happiness doesn’t come from within — that it’s reliant on outside circumstances and objects.

We put so much emphasis on what our possessions mean to us that we conclude, that having these things in our life must be what’s bringing us happiness. However, what if we just let things go? Whether it’s a person or a possession, letting go can feel painful and we often wonder how can pain possibly bring happiness? Our mind tends to focus on the illogical aspect of this but in essence, letting go of things will lead us to live much more happy and fulfilling lives.

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Let Go of the Idea That Happiness Is Contained In Your Current Possessions

This is a huge misconception. Whether it’s that pair of shoes, the car, the latest smartphone, or the person we’ve been longing after — our mind believes that our lives will get better and we’ll be happier only when these things enter into our lives. And yes, they might make us feel excitement and joy for a short while but our ability to adapt to our environments and what’s in it causes us to get bored easily and move on to the next thing that’ll bring us happiness again.

Even in relationships, we believe a certain person will make us happy but sometimes you find out they just don’t. So it’s important to let go of the idea that happiness can be found by external means. If you let go of this idea you will come to realize that nothing around you contributes to your happiness other than inside yourself.

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Let Go of What You Can’t Control

Trying to control situations around us to make us happy will only end in unhappiness. Sometimes it’s better to just let go of what you can’t control and let it play out the way that it is meant to. Fighting too hard and obsessing over things will only bring frustration — trying to change something that’s fixed will take away your happiness in the long run so it’s important to let it go. Ultimately, you need to go with the flow to reap the benefits of feeling happy.

Happiness can be found in getting what you were resisting. Our mind has a habit of fixating on a particular way we can achieve our happiness and ignores or makes assumptions about other paths and avenues. But it’s these paths that could lead you to where you want to be. By releasing control on things and letting go you can learn how to be happy in a whole different way than you were expecting.

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Let Go of Your Past Possessions

You feel you’re due a sort out but you can’t quite let go of that dress that reminds you of a great holiday you had – despite not having worn it since 2007? Or an old picture that’s collecting dust in the attic because it reminds you of your last house? By holding on to our possessions, we are holding on to the past. While it’s nice to have keepsakes, holding on to too much stuff can stop us from moving forward more than we think. Literally making room in our closets and cupboards, frees up space in our minds too and this can do wonders for our happiness. Yes, it’s hard to throw that item in the bin or hand it over to the charity shop but it’s never as painful as we imagine afterwards.

Let Go of The People Who Don’t Serve Your Present

Sometimes we have people in our lives that dampen our happiness. While it can be difficult to let go of friends and past loves, it is paramount to our own happiness to step aside and let these people go. Holding on to painful memories or constantly exposing our thoughts and minds to potentially toxic people will only hinder our happiness.

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It’s also important to let go of the idea of a person. Past loves and relationships can have a habit of lingering in our minds where we start to forget the reasons why they didn’t work out. Equally, we build up the idea of people we lust after and place them up on that pedestal so we need to let go of this because it’s not really reality. Letting go relieves the pressure we put on ourselves and others that could be getting in the way of us achieving the happiness we deserve.

Pain, More Often Than Not, Leads To Happiness

The whole concept of letting go is painful to us. It must be, otherwise why would it be so hard to do? We are certain that the things and people around us contribute immensely to our happiness when, in fact in a lot of cases, this isn’t true.

Sometimes we need to go through painful processes to reach our happiness — it’s how we evaluate and appreciate what we need to make us happy and frees up necessary space for new and exciting experiences, thoughts, and beliefs to enter and help us understand how to be happy — truly and genuinely happy.

Featured photo credit: OD Pictures via odpictures.hu

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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