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How to Overcome The Pain of a Toxic Relationship

How to Overcome The Pain of a Toxic Relationship

Okay, you’ve finally done it—you’ve worked up your courage and left the toxic relationship behind. But what about moving forward? The breaking of any relationship, especially a toxic romantic relationship, can leave pain that may seem unbearable. However, moving past that pain is easier than you might think.

Ignite and Reaffirm Your Self-Esteem

It might sound ridiculous to some, but take time to tell yourself that you are smart, beautiful, and worthy of a good life and good relationship to boot. Say it out loud or within your mind, in the mirror, shower, car, wherever you feel comfortable. If you need to, create an affirmation to repeat to yourself on a regular basis. Maintaining your self-esteem, especially in the wake of a toxic relationship, can be difficult, but it’s essential for those who need a reminder of their worth as a person.

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Go Beyond the Traditional Support System

Whether or not you have a good support system from family or friends you can still create support for yourself. A relationship counselor who earned their master’s degree in social work online says that exercise, meditation, and hobbies can all be excellent ways of coping with emotional pain. Simply adding a one-hour event into your schedule could be one hour that is pain-free. Don’t feel obligated to participate in activities you don’t enjoy just for the sake of exercising. Instead, discover what interests you. Whether it’s yoga, aerobics, swimming, tennis, or even extreme roller skating–whatever form of exercise appeals to you is the one you should be doing. If you’re not the athletic type and would rather meditate, find the method that works best for you. Not all meditation has to be done in cross-legged science–meditation takes several forms, of which there is sure to be one which appeals to you!

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Make New Friends

Your friends that you have right now are probably fantastic people, however, it is often through meeting new people that you can rediscover your lost self and begin to move past the pain. Your friends may have been a support group during the toxic relationship—and they should continue to be—but it is easy to dwell on the past and your old relationship when talking to them. Keep those friends close, but look for other people and groups to relate to. By putting yourself out in the open and making some new friends or acquaintances, you are opening new doors and shutting out the pain involved in negative memories. You may also find that new friends offer a fresh perspective on your situation which could help you overcome some of the residual pain.

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Ask For Help

You’ve been hurt but that doesn’t mean you’re broken. Your family, friends, and even YOU are waiting for you to ask for help. It is okay to ask for help and no, you won’t sound weak doing so. It takes immense strength to ask for any kind of help, so in a way, asking for help is making you stronger and thus it can be used as a tool to counter the lingering pain. Those who care about you will not judge you or dismiss you for asking for help because that’s not what caring people do! They will be cheering for you every step of the way, so don’t hesitate to ask them for the occasional support.

Moving past the pain of a toxic romantic relationship seems like a battle that is unwinnable. However, if you invest in a good support system and believe in yourself you can take small steps to minimize the pain and eventually leave it far, far behind.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Kara Masterson

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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