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25 Things You Must Do For Your Parents Right Away

25 Things You Must Do For Your Parents Right Away

Now that we have become adults, our parents are our children now! Let us give them that same love and care which we once received from them.

Why?

I myself am in a job where I have to stay away from home for extended periods of time. Yet the relationship with my parents remains untainted. I wish to provide a few insights to how that becomes possible.

If you can get inside their minds, no matter what the distance, you will always find a way to make them feel happy.

Your Parents need your care

    Whether you have been raised by a single parent or both, they need much more of you than a mere phone call at the end of the week. Yes, even now! You may have settled down in life by yourself, but your parents still miss you. Here are a few actionable tips you can start doing right away!

    Let us start with a few extremely important things which really can shape your relationship with your parents, followed by gestures which will make them feel special.

    1.  Realise that no matter how high you reach, you will always be their Baby boy or girl

    Never be too old to get scolded. If they are scolding you, you can tell that your happiness and well-being matters to them, even if that’s their own way of thinking. It means that, in their own way, they love you. Do not take that love (Or any other love, for that matter), for granted.

    Never be too old to get advice from them. They really may show you things you have not considered.

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      2. Learn to forgive

      This is something which many of us go through.

      I do not know how to emphasize this enough, but if you hold a grudge against your parents, you MUST find a way to let that go! Believe me, it is depleting you every day more than you think it is affecting them. There is no upside to holding a permanent grudge against anyone, let alone your Mom and Dad. No matter what they have done, if you keep that grudge in yourself, you will regret it one day.

      I can tell you from my own experience, there is an immense peace in forgiving your parents for what they have done to you. Besides, you exist because of them. Nothing can possibly surpass that!!

      If you do not, one day when they are gone, it may become very difficult to forgive yourself.

      3. Live close enough

      If you are an adult, in all probability you do not live with your parents.

      Live close if you can. It helps your relationship in a lot of ways. While you have the absolute independence to design your life in a way you want, you also do not live too far apart to be disconnected from them. We live in an apartment which is close to my parents. We meet every day and chat with each other just like old times. Yet, we sleep in separate apartments and enjoy our complete freedom.

      Live close, drop by often, have meals together, let them play with their grand-kids, laugh with them.

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      4. They need their freedom too, understand that

      When you were younger, your father was the king of his house. You are the king too, now. You have your own identity, you need your own space and you do not want to be dictated there. That’s why you need to move out whenever you can. If you and your parents have their separate establishments, each can have an empire of their own. This keeps both happy in their own diocese, and relationships remain beautiful.

      They magic balance for a healthy relationship: do not live too close, and do not live too far!

      5. Realize that you are lucky

      There are millions of people around the world who does not have a parent. They may have lost theirs, or have never seen them. Please remember to feel lucky to have your parents in your life. Having a father and a mother is not a birthright for all.

      It is a gift – remind yourself that as often as you can.

      6. Share with them every achievement

      Your parents are always going to feel proud of you. Let them feel that way!

      Every time you win in life, a part of them wins. A big part of what you are is because of how they have brought you up, or the things you have been taught. There is no one better qualified to claim credit for your achievements. Allow them the satisfaction. It does not cost you.

      7. Learn to hide things when needed

      Your parent did not come home from the office and discuss their every decision with you when you were a kid.

      As an adult, you often have to take decisions which do not necessarily match with your parents’ ideas. They may be having a different way of thinking. Do not get confrontational or try to change their ideas. There is no upside to that. After a certain age, they will believe what they want to believe.

      Either take heed of their suggestions and use them. But if you think you are right, just do it your way and do not tell them about it. I do this very often when my parents are strictly opinionated about a certain thing. White lies are important!

      8. Do not be too old to put your head on their lap at times

      It is a gesture which  can melt even the gravest situations. Your parents love you in a way you can only understand when you are a parent yourself. Enjoy that love!!

      9. Let them enjoy the company of their grandchildren

      When your parents see your child, they remember you. Please let them have that young version of you which they loved so dearly. You may not be able to give them that version ever again. You are now too mature, too busy or too smart for that!! Yet there is your child who can make your parents feel young again. Let them enjoy that.

      Find ways to bring your kids to meet your parents as often as you can.

      Amazing power of Grandchildren

        10. Apologize for your mistakes

        At times, you may lose your mind and lose temper. There can be certain things you say which you do not mean.

        You may feel a resistance in apologizing if you have not done it before.

        Well, here’s the thing. With parents, they have perhaps forgiven you already, no matter how bad they felt. Yet, say that you were sorry! It makes a huge difference. You will always be a bigger person to admit your mistakes, and with parents, the inherent love is so strong that it can turn a relationship around!

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        11. Do not be formal

        Try to be that kid to them when you can. You do not need to be too sweet or too harsh with them. Just let them feel the way they felt when you were twelve, only in a more mature way. In your corporate life you may be a tiger, but at home with your parents be your old self.

        Laugh with them, at silly jokes too. If you do not like something, point it out, but take care not to get personal. Hit the problem, not the person. Ask for suggestions and really listen to their ideas – let them relax in the thought that they can still affect your life.

        12. Realize their wrapping up phase

        This is rather painful, but they are trying to wrap up their life.

        They are trying to make sense of what they did right and where they went wrong all these years.

        Unlike you, they cannot mend most of their mistakes. The time has gone. Even if they want, they cannot turn it back.

        You are their biggest achievements or their biggest failures. Every time you fail, or every time you hurt them, their balance sheet shows a deficit. It is more painful to them because unlike you, they cannot make up for it anymore.

        As much as you can, give them a sense that they have done something right in their lives. That will give them an unfathomable peace.

        If you can make your parents happy about the way they have led their life, to make sense of their decisions over the years, there is no greater gift.

        Years later, when you have finished the race that you are running now, you will be in their place and you will also try and wrap your life up. At that time, the greatest regrets will be those things which you could have, but have not done. A happy man is one who can make sense of their decisions after many years.

        13. Act on your plans!

        If you want to do something for them, and if you can, do it TODAY! Do not wait for the next year, or the next increment, or the next best opportunity. It may be too late by then. If you have some plans, execute them. Do not hold it back. You will feel a different kind of joy inside, this satisfaction cannot be explained. Many people I know have lost the opportunity to do anything for their parents ever again. That is one of the biggest regrets in life.

        14. If you are angry at them, do not talk

        It is in general good practice not to talk to someone when you are angry.

        Talk to your parents only after you have cooled down. Let certain things go. They have earned their right to be wrong at times.

        Never try to show them a certain path because you want it. Do not get personal.

        15. Make them feel that their existence matters

        For any person who has taken care of a family at one time, the most painful feeling is that they do not matter to anyone anymore.

        Ask for their suggestions, let them help out, give them a sense that they really matter.

        Ask them if they can join you for dinner today, tell them that their grandchild talks about them all the time, let them be with their grandchild for a day, and impress him or her.

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        Tell your mother that you really miss her food, ask her to cook for you and visit them for a meal.

        16. Protect them, shelter them from troubles and worries just like they did once

        When you were a kid, your father did not tell you about the various problems he has been having in life, your mother did not make you sit and listen to all the adjustments she has to do. It is their turn now to be that child!

        Your problems are your own. You should be able enough and old enough to handle that. When they ask you how you are, give them a wide smile and tell them everything is fine.

        Of course, if there are things which concern them, it must be told, but while doing so, take care of their emotions too.

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          17. Protect their confidence

          Do not take away their confidence. Avoid saying – “you are too old for this”

          Do not prevent them from everything that is fun, just because their doctor said! Sure, it is important to listen to your family physician. But at times, it is important to let them cheat.

          If your father wants to take the dog out for a walk, let him do it. If your mom wants to have a bite of that cake, even though she has complications, allow her that freedom at times. In fact, encourage them to break rules at times.

          Buy a flight ticket for your parents and send them to a place where they can be completely alone for a few days, free of any responsibilities. Make sure everything is arranged for them there.

          Let them be confident and young at heart. I do not know if they will live longer, but they will live more.

          18. Keep them financially independent

          Let this not be a big deal. If your parents need it, know that well in advance and help them out financially.

          Do not wait for them to ask you. Very often they will not.

          If you regularly help them out financially, make sure the money reaches them before they need it.

          If they refuse your help, just tell them it isn’t a big deal. Tell them when you were young and wanted a toy, they did buy it for you. You never thought that it was not your money, you never complained. Tell them they cannot start complaining now!

          19. Listen to them closely

          Take time out to listen to what your parents have to say.

          Pay close attention to their worries and try your best to get rid of such concerns.

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          Make sure they understand that they can come to you if anything goes wrong. As a family, be approachable. This applies to your spouse too. If you are not, their ego will prevent them from reaching out to you in times of need.

          Your parents and you

            20. Take them out on a vacation

            Once every two years, I try to take my parents on a vacation which spans a week at least. It makes them rejuvenated and fresh again.

            They forget that they have knee pains, high blood pressure, and several such complications. Those problems actually vanish! That’s the power of placebo. If you can make them feel young again, their bodies will comply.

            Sure, when you are taking your parents do not plan for extremely hectic schedules. Rather, keep it simple and relaxing.

            21. Take them out on a surprise long drive

            Once every six months, have a weekend reserved for your parents. Take them out with your family on a long drive, reach some place far away, stay for a day or two, and come back.

            22. Take them out for a meal

            Let the whole family enjoy a great lunch! There should be a lot of laughter and fun. Make it a memorable day!

            23. Give them a gift which is personalized. Here are Few of my ideas – just imagine, and you will have your own

            Buy a bookshelf for your mother with a collection of books which she likes.

            Buy a chess set for your dad if he likes to play chess. Let it be a fancy wooden set with carvings.

            Give them a Mug saying: “Best Dad in the world!!” Or “To the greatest Mother of all times”

            Buy a scarf for your Mom with her name inscribed on it.

            Get them a watch with a note saying: “You get younger with time”.

            If you know your parents well enough, and if you care enough to think, ideas will simply flow out of you. They don’t always cost a lot of money. It’s the thought that counts.

            24. Take it easy with them

            Send them a joke or a limerick once in a while, even a naughty one if you think they are up for it. Keep it cool with them. The feeling of being a friend to your grown up child is priceless.

            25. Give them the pleasure of helping out

            Tell your mom you want to take that book which she was reading for a day, tell your dad you are stuck in an office problem and would like to discuss that with him.

            Let them feel that there are still things they have which you need. They will again feel that their existence matters.

            Your parents - biggest assets

              Featured photo credit: Your parents are your Baby via freeimages.com

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              Last Updated on September 16, 2019

              How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

              How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

              You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

              We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

              The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

              Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

              1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

              Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

              For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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              • (1) Research
              • (2) Deciding the topic
              • (3) Creating the outline
              • (4) Drafting the content
              • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
              • (6) Revision
              • (7) etc.

              Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

              2. Change Your Environment

              Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

              One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

              3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

              Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

              Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

              My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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              Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

              4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

              If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

              Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

              I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

              5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

              I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

              Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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              As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

              6. Get a Buddy

              Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

              I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

              7. Tell Others About Your Goals

              This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

              For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

              8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

              What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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              9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

              If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

              Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

              10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

              Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

              Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

              11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

              At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

              Reality check:

              I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

              More About Procrastination

              Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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