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25 Things You Must Do For Your Parents Right Away

25 Things You Must Do For Your Parents Right Away

Now that we have become adults, our parents are our children now! Let us give them that same love and care which we once received from them.

Why?

I myself am in a job where I have to stay away from home for extended periods of time. Yet the relationship with my parents remains untainted. I wish to provide a few insights to how that becomes possible.

If you can get inside their minds, no matter what the distance, you will always find a way to make them feel happy.

Your Parents need your care

    Whether you have been raised by a single parent or both, they need much more of you than a mere phone call at the end of the week. Yes, even now! You may have settled down in life by yourself, but your parents still miss you. Here are a few actionable tips you can start doing right away!

    Let us start with a few extremely important things which really can shape your relationship with your parents, followed by gestures which will make them feel special.

    1.  Realise that no matter how high you reach, you will always be their Baby boy or girl

    Never be too old to get scolded. If they are scolding you, you can tell that your happiness and well-being matters to them, even if that’s their own way of thinking. It means that, in their own way, they love you. Do not take that love (Or any other love, for that matter), for granted.

    Never be too old to get advice from them. They really may show you things you have not considered.

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      2. Learn to forgive

      This is something which many of us go through.

      I do not know how to emphasize this enough, but if you hold a grudge against your parents, you MUST find a way to let that go! Believe me, it is depleting you every day more than you think it is affecting them. There is no upside to holding a permanent grudge against anyone, let alone your Mom and Dad. No matter what they have done, if you keep that grudge in yourself, you will regret it one day.

      I can tell you from my own experience, there is an immense peace in forgiving your parents for what they have done to you. Besides, you exist because of them. Nothing can possibly surpass that!!

      If you do not, one day when they are gone, it may become very difficult to forgive yourself.

      3. Live close enough

      If you are an adult, in all probability you do not live with your parents.

      Live close if you can. It helps your relationship in a lot of ways. While you have the absolute independence to design your life in a way you want, you also do not live too far apart to be disconnected from them. We live in an apartment which is close to my parents. We meet every day and chat with each other just like old times. Yet, we sleep in separate apartments and enjoy our complete freedom.

      Live close, drop by often, have meals together, let them play with their grand-kids, laugh with them.

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      4. They need their freedom too, understand that

      When you were younger, your father was the king of his house. You are the king too, now. You have your own identity, you need your own space and you do not want to be dictated there. That’s why you need to move out whenever you can. If you and your parents have their separate establishments, each can have an empire of their own. This keeps both happy in their own diocese, and relationships remain beautiful.

      They magic balance for a healthy relationship: do not live too close, and do not live too far!

      5. Realize that you are lucky

      There are millions of people around the world who does not have a parent. They may have lost theirs, or have never seen them. Please remember to feel lucky to have your parents in your life. Having a father and a mother is not a birthright for all.

      It is a gift – remind yourself that as often as you can.

      6. Share with them every achievement

      Your parents are always going to feel proud of you. Let them feel that way!

      Every time you win in life, a part of them wins. A big part of what you are is because of how they have brought you up, or the things you have been taught. There is no one better qualified to claim credit for your achievements. Allow them the satisfaction. It does not cost you.

      7. Learn to hide things when needed

      Your parent did not come home from the office and discuss their every decision with you when you were a kid.

      As an adult, you often have to take decisions which do not necessarily match with your parents’ ideas. They may be having a different way of thinking. Do not get confrontational or try to change their ideas. There is no upside to that. After a certain age, they will believe what they want to believe.

      Either take heed of their suggestions and use them. But if you think you are right, just do it your way and do not tell them about it. I do this very often when my parents are strictly opinionated about a certain thing. White lies are important!

      8. Do not be too old to put your head on their lap at times

      It is a gesture which  can melt even the gravest situations. Your parents love you in a way you can only understand when you are a parent yourself. Enjoy that love!!

      9. Let them enjoy the company of their grandchildren

      When your parents see your child, they remember you. Please let them have that young version of you which they loved so dearly. You may not be able to give them that version ever again. You are now too mature, too busy or too smart for that!! Yet there is your child who can make your parents feel young again. Let them enjoy that.

      Find ways to bring your kids to meet your parents as often as you can.

      Amazing power of Grandchildren

        10. Apologize for your mistakes

        At times, you may lose your mind and lose temper. There can be certain things you say which you do not mean.

        You may feel a resistance in apologizing if you have not done it before.

        Well, here’s the thing. With parents, they have perhaps forgiven you already, no matter how bad they felt. Yet, say that you were sorry! It makes a huge difference. You will always be a bigger person to admit your mistakes, and with parents, the inherent love is so strong that it can turn a relationship around!

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        11. Do not be formal

        Try to be that kid to them when you can. You do not need to be too sweet or too harsh with them. Just let them feel the way they felt when you were twelve, only in a more mature way. In your corporate life you may be a tiger, but at home with your parents be your old self.

        Laugh with them, at silly jokes too. If you do not like something, point it out, but take care not to get personal. Hit the problem, not the person. Ask for suggestions and really listen to their ideas – let them relax in the thought that they can still affect your life.

        12. Realize their wrapping up phase

        This is rather painful, but they are trying to wrap up their life.

        They are trying to make sense of what they did right and where they went wrong all these years.

        Unlike you, they cannot mend most of their mistakes. The time has gone. Even if they want, they cannot turn it back.

        You are their biggest achievements or their biggest failures. Every time you fail, or every time you hurt them, their balance sheet shows a deficit. It is more painful to them because unlike you, they cannot make up for it anymore.

        As much as you can, give them a sense that they have done something right in their lives. That will give them an unfathomable peace.

        If you can make your parents happy about the way they have led their life, to make sense of their decisions over the years, there is no greater gift.

        Years later, when you have finished the race that you are running now, you will be in their place and you will also try and wrap your life up. At that time, the greatest regrets will be those things which you could have, but have not done. A happy man is one who can make sense of their decisions after many years.

        13. Act on your plans!

        If you want to do something for them, and if you can, do it TODAY! Do not wait for the next year, or the next increment, or the next best opportunity. It may be too late by then. If you have some plans, execute them. Do not hold it back. You will feel a different kind of joy inside, this satisfaction cannot be explained. Many people I know have lost the opportunity to do anything for their parents ever again. That is one of the biggest regrets in life.

        14. If you are angry at them, do not talk

        It is in general good practice not to talk to someone when you are angry.

        Talk to your parents only after you have cooled down. Let certain things go. They have earned their right to be wrong at times.

        Never try to show them a certain path because you want it. Do not get personal.

        15. Make them feel that their existence matters

        For any person who has taken care of a family at one time, the most painful feeling is that they do not matter to anyone anymore.

        Ask for their suggestions, let them help out, give them a sense that they really matter.

        Ask them if they can join you for dinner today, tell them that their grandchild talks about them all the time, let them be with their grandchild for a day, and impress him or her.

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        Tell your mother that you really miss her food, ask her to cook for you and visit them for a meal.

        16. Protect them, shelter them from troubles and worries just like they did once

        When you were a kid, your father did not tell you about the various problems he has been having in life, your mother did not make you sit and listen to all the adjustments she has to do. It is their turn now to be that child!

        Your problems are your own. You should be able enough and old enough to handle that. When they ask you how you are, give them a wide smile and tell them everything is fine.

        Of course, if there are things which concern them, it must be told, but while doing so, take care of their emotions too.

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          17. Protect their confidence

          Do not take away their confidence. Avoid saying – “you are too old for this”

          Do not prevent them from everything that is fun, just because their doctor said! Sure, it is important to listen to your family physician. But at times, it is important to let them cheat.

          If your father wants to take the dog out for a walk, let him do it. If your mom wants to have a bite of that cake, even though she has complications, allow her that freedom at times. In fact, encourage them to break rules at times.

          Buy a flight ticket for your parents and send them to a place where they can be completely alone for a few days, free of any responsibilities. Make sure everything is arranged for them there.

          Let them be confident and young at heart. I do not know if they will live longer, but they will live more.

          18. Keep them financially independent

          Let this not be a big deal. If your parents need it, know that well in advance and help them out financially.

          Do not wait for them to ask you. Very often they will not.

          If you regularly help them out financially, make sure the money reaches them before they need it.

          If they refuse your help, just tell them it isn’t a big deal. Tell them when you were young and wanted a toy, they did buy it for you. You never thought that it was not your money, you never complained. Tell them they cannot start complaining now!

          19. Listen to them closely

          Take time out to listen to what your parents have to say.

          Pay close attention to their worries and try your best to get rid of such concerns.

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          Make sure they understand that they can come to you if anything goes wrong. As a family, be approachable. This applies to your spouse too. If you are not, their ego will prevent them from reaching out to you in times of need.

          Your parents and you

            20. Take them out on a vacation

            Once every two years, I try to take my parents on a vacation which spans a week at least. It makes them rejuvenated and fresh again.

            They forget that they have knee pains, high blood pressure, and several such complications. Those problems actually vanish! That’s the power of placebo. If you can make them feel young again, their bodies will comply.

            Sure, when you are taking your parents do not plan for extremely hectic schedules. Rather, keep it simple and relaxing.

            21. Take them out on a surprise long drive

            Once every six months, have a weekend reserved for your parents. Take them out with your family on a long drive, reach some place far away, stay for a day or two, and come back.

            22. Take them out for a meal

            Let the whole family enjoy a great lunch! There should be a lot of laughter and fun. Make it a memorable day!

            23. Give them a gift which is personalized. Here are Few of my ideas – just imagine, and you will have your own

            Buy a bookshelf for your mother with a collection of books which she likes.

            Buy a chess set for your dad if he likes to play chess. Let it be a fancy wooden set with carvings.

            Give them a Mug saying: “Best Dad in the world!!” Or “To the greatest Mother of all times”

            Buy a scarf for your Mom with her name inscribed on it.

            Get them a watch with a note saying: “You get younger with time”.

            If you know your parents well enough, and if you care enough to think, ideas will simply flow out of you. They don’t always cost a lot of money. It’s the thought that counts.

            24. Take it easy with them

            Send them a joke or a limerick once in a while, even a naughty one if you think they are up for it. Keep it cool with them. The feeling of being a friend to your grown up child is priceless.

            25. Give them the pleasure of helping out

            Tell your mom you want to take that book which she was reading for a day, tell your dad you are stuck in an office problem and would like to discuss that with him.

            Let them feel that there are still things they have which you need. They will again feel that their existence matters.

            Your parents - biggest assets

              Featured photo credit: Your parents are your Baby via freeimages.com

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              Last Updated on October 15, 2019

              How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

              How To Be Successful In Life? 13 Tips From The Most Successful People

              What is success to you? How to be successful in life?

              To some, when they think of success, they imagine wealth; others want power; some just want to make a positive impact on the world.

              All of these are perfectly valid, indeed success is a concept that means different things to different people. Though no matter what success is to you, it almost certainly isn’t something will come easily.

              There are countless guides and books to being successful, however, as success is personal and unique to each individual. The advice contained in these books can often not be relevant. Therefore following the advice of a single individual can often be unhelpful.

              With this in mind, considering the advice of a great many people, people whose ideas of success were different both to each other, and quite possibly, to you can be a good alternative.

              What follows is a list of thirteen of the best pieces of advice from some of the most successful people who have ever lived. If you want to learn how to be successful, these 13 tips are essential:

              1. Think Big

                From Michelangelo Buonarroti, Great Renaissance Artist:

                “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

                There are few artists as influential as Michaelangelo. Today centuries after his death, his work still inspires and connects to people. His work is world famous, just think of his statue of David, or the Mural in the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican.

                Imagine then, if he decided not to work as an artist.

                Being a successful artist has always been extremely difficult, imagine if he decided to give up this ambition in favour of something easier?

                Oftentimes, people often decided to put their dreams aside for something more “realistic”. To give up their dream for something easier. This quote teaches us the danger of such a point of view.
                Instead be ambitious.

                2. Find What You Love to Do and Do It

                  From Oprah Winfrey, Media Mogul:

                  “You know you are on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it.”

                  This is a good quote to remember and think about when you’re at work.

                  Imagine being as successful as possible in your current job. Ultimately you’ll probably find yourself working extremely hard and this it will take up much of your time.

                  If it’s a job you hate, then being successful at it might only mean filling your life with something you hate to do. What’s the sense in this?

                  Instead, why not focus on doing something you love? When you’ve found what you’re passionate about, you get the motivation to keep you moving. Success at this means the fulfilment of your dreams.

                  Not sure what your passion is yet? You should learn about this Motivation Engine first.

                  Even if you’re not successful, you still filled your time with something you love to do. Many successful musicians spent years of their lives doing unpaid performances, the only reason they kept playing was because they loved to perform.

                  3. Learn How to Balance Life

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                    From Phil Knight, CEO of Nike Inc.:

                    “There is an immutable conflict at work in life and in business, a constant battle between peace and chaos. Neither can be mastered, but both can be influenced. How you go about that is the key to success.”

                    All too often, people think that to be successful, they need to make the object of their success their life.

                    If a person thinks their job will lead them to success, then they may spend countless hours per day, and well into the evening working hard.

                    However this comes at the cost of rest, your health and having an enjoyable life. Ultimately they may burn out and cease to be successful at their job anyway.

                    If success comes from having a strong social life and a good group of friends, their job may suffer; meaning that they may lose their job, and then be unable to afford going out with friends.

                    In these ways, success, as Phil Knight says above, is helped by balance. Think of it as a balance between rest and work, or work and play.

                    To achieve that balance, this Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Work And Life can help you.

                    4. Do Not Be Afraid of Failure

                      From Henry Ford, Founder of Ford Motors:

                      “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

                      There is a story, it’s unconfirmed whether it actually happened, yet the message within is none the less true:

                      Thomas Edison inventing the lightbulb was the result of several hundred failed attempts. In an interview, he was asked “How do you feel after all of your failed attempts?”

                      His response was great, “I didn’t fail, I learned hundreds of ways not to invent the lightbulb”

                      He saw each “failure” as a lesson. From that lesson he learned what won’t work, and also might work instead.

                      Each failed attempt, each rejection, were key steps on his path to success. It is easy to feel like you should give up after a failure. But perhaps in that failure is a lesson.

                      Pay attention to your failures, study them. Perhaps then you’ll learn how to succeed.

                      If you find it difficult to fight your fear of failure, here’s a guide for you: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It Step-By-Step)

                      5. Have an Unwavering Resolution to Succeed

                        From Colonel Sanders, Founder of KFC:

                        “I made a resolve then that I was going to amount to something if I could. And no hours, nor amount of labor, nor amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me. And I have done that ever since, and I win by it. I know.”

                        This, in many ways relates to the above quote about learning from your failures.

                        It’s the easiest thing in the world to give up from a failure. The only way to push on is if you have the true burning desire to succeed, to not be moved or dissuaded from your goals.

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                        If you are not truly dedicated towards success, then each failure will hurt more, each set back will slow you down.

                        Success is hard; without the unwavering desire to succeed, this difficulty may seem insurmountable. With the desire, it is merely an obstacle to go through.

                        6. Be a Person of Action

                          From Leonardo da Vinci, Renaissance Genius:

                          “It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

                          Though it was said hundreds of years ago, it works just as much today as it ever had. It applies to literally any successful person.

                          Think about it, picture someone like William Shakespeare:

                          When we think of the time he lived in, we think of the time in a way shaped by him. When we think of Renaissance era Italy, we think of Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci. Or think about the present day, Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Our current way of life would simply be incomparably different if they didn’t accomplish what they did.

                          You’re probably reading this article on a device by a company that they either founded or companies influenced by them.

                          All these figures were proactive, they saw ways to do things differently and did them. If they let the world shape them, then they’d simply fit into the background. Instead they shaped the world.

                          Applying this to you?

                          Don’t be afraid of going outside the norm. If you can think of a better way to do something, do it that way. If you fail, try again.

                          7. Cultivate Positive Relationships

                            From Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of America: “

                            The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”

                            The best leaders and some of the most influential people (and Theodore Roosevelt is one of the best leaders and one of the most influential people to have lived) were not those who caused commotions, who fought with people or disregarded people; but were people who were friendly to those around them.

                            People liked them. They wanted them to do well.

                            This is key to good leadership.

                            It’s logical. If someone likes you, they want to help you; if you give them a suggestion, they’ll gladly follow through with it.

                            But if someone doesn’t like you, they may either refuse to help or actively get in your way.

                            What’s more, it’s always a good idea to cultivate good relationships. You can never tell who will prove to become someone who’ll be able to help you in a big way, or even be a good and supportive friend.

                            As such, help people and they may help you; and be good to people, and they my be good to you.

                            8. Don’t Be Afraid of Introducing New Ideas

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                              From Mark Twain, Famed Author:

                              “A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

                              It is an unfortunate truth that those with the boldest ideas are often disregarded.

                              Most of us are taught from an early age to think and do things similarly to everyone else. This can be great to fill an existing role. But to truly do things differently (and all successful people did things differently), you need to think differently.

                              If you have a new idea, don’t throw it away because it’s new and different; instead, celebrate it. Your strange new idea might one day be the one that leads you to success.

                              9. Believe in Your Capacity to Succeed

                                From Walter Disney, Founder of Walt Disney Company:

                                “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

                                Success has to be something you can imagine yourself achieving.

                                It is possible that you will come across those who doubt you and your ability to succeed. You must not become one of these people because the moment you cease believing and dreaming is the moment these dreams fall away.

                                Keep dreaming!

                                10. Always Maintain a Positive Mental Attitude

                                  From Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of America:

                                  “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

                                  Like the above quote says, you need to trust in your ability to succeed. This is the only way to cultivate the right mindset.

                                  Replace negative thoughts with the positive ones. You need to approach problems, not as obstacles stopping you, but merely tasks that need to be completed for you to keep going.

                                  If you stay positive and think like this, setbacks won’t affect you so much, people’s doubts won’t impact you and even the biggest obstacles will seem like minor problems.

                                  However with the wrong mindset of doubt, you’ll be much easier to stop.

                                  11. Don’t Let Discouragement Stop You from Pressing On

                                    From Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of America:

                                    “Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.”

                                    It is an unfortunate fact of human nature — all of us in some way, doubt ourselves. This can be made far worse if others doubt us too.

                                    When surrounded by doubts, giving up can actually seem like a good idea.

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                                    Don’t pay attention to the doubts. If you are discouraged, ignore it.

                                    If this discouragement moves into your mind and you begin to doubt yourself. It is important to ignore this too.

                                    This is How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck and How to Overcome It

                                    12. Be Willing to Work Hard

                                      From JC Penny, Founder of JC Penney Inc.:

                                      “Unless you are willing to drench yourself in your work beyond the capacity of the average man, you are just not cut out for positions at the top.”

                                      You might have heard the quote that “success is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration” or you may have heard about the 10,000 hours idea.

                                      Whichever way you frame it, they say one thing:

                                      True success comes from work.

                                      You’ll never become successful if you don’t work towards your goal in life and keep working towards it.

                                      Check out this article and you’ll understand Why Hard Work Beats Talent.

                                      13. Be Brave Enough to Follow Your Intuition

                                        From Steve Jobs, Co-founder of Apple Inc.:

                                        “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

                                        In ancient Greece, there was a group of Oracles who lived in Delphi. Everyone who needed advice or to know their future visited them, from the poorest of society to kings. Above the doorway of the temple were the words “know thyself”.

                                        If you strongly believe and desire something, chances are that you already have an idea how to get there. If not, you may naturally know what things will help you and what things will slow you down.

                                        It’s like how your body can detect danger even when things seem safe.

                                        Ultimately then, you need to trust your own instincts.

                                        Final Thoughts

                                        What you might have noticed is that many of the above lessons are similar — most are about developing the right state of mind. This clearly suggests that the key to achieving success, in whatever you wish, comes down to the way you approach it mentally.

                                        Moreover, no matter what stage of life you’re at now, you can still make a difference and pursue success. You can make resetting your life possible when you do this: How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

                                        More to Help You Succeed in Life

                                        Featured photo credit: Ryan Wong via unsplash.com

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