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How To Forget Bad Childhood Memories And Reclaim Your Life

How To Forget Bad Childhood Memories And Reclaim Your Life

Many of us have suffered from certain childhood incidents that are haunting us, even today. Traumas come in various shapes and forms. They can be physical and psychological abuses, bullies back in school days, unhealthy family affairs, and parental divorce. These traumas have geared up the negativity in us and implicitly affected our life, lifestyle, relationships. But this is not the end of our lives. We must not let our past rule over our present as well as our future. The best way to overcome our traumas, and to get on with life is to leave all the bad childhood memories behind and start afresh. You are thinking it is easier said than done, right? Well, this article will help you (I sincerely hope it will help you) to deal with how to forget bad childhood memories and to lead a normal life.

Impacts brought by bad memories

There are many memories that cannot be shared with anyone, not even with the closest and the dearest ones. These memories are so etched into your heart that it is impossible not to think about them all the time. Some of the memories have left you feel insecure about yourself, lack of self confidence, make you distrust people easily, some may even confuse you about you and your surrounding. These are the impacts that you can not deal with and for these you need help. You have to start to believe in yourself, gain confidence, and try to remember that there are many out there who you can trust and their influence can make you be yourself again.

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Zeigarnik effect on us

Bluma Zeigarnik, a Lithuanian-born psychologist, first came up with ‘open loops’ and ‘unfinished business’ in 1927, explaining how these two terms can help us to learn from the ‘unfinished business’ or ‘open loops’. For example, you have an uncle who used to molest you when you were young. You never talked about it, not even to your parents. You wake up every morning and think about how you could have stopped your uncle, or how you could have exposed him. This is your ‘unfinished business’. There is an ‘open loop’ for you to come back to that point, and if you have time, and if he is alive, you still have the opportunity to unmask him.

We are wired in such a manner that we hardly forget our bad childhood memories. Mulling over the past can affect your mental stability, and your physical health, leaving you distraught at all times.

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How to forget bad childhood memories?

Let’s start with talking. It is always effective if you get to share your bad experiences with someone, or a group of people. It is not necessary for this “someone” to be your best friend or your sibling. You can seek professional help. A psychiatrist, or a counsellor can guide you to an enlightened path. Or, find out if there are any groups that involve individuals talking about their personal traumas. You will know you are not alone in this world, and there are many cases as worse as yours.

Try to approach life in a positive manner. Your childhood is your past. The people and the events concerned are no longer in existence. Even if they are, you are no longer a dependent individual. You are free. You have a life and you are leading your life. You are in a relationship. Contemplating on your bad memories can affect your partner and your children. Build a better and a secured future for your children.

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Talking about security, if you feel threatened by your own security, again, talk it out loud. Not everyone is the same. Being reserved or skeptical about things or people will not help you overcome your memories. I know it is extremely hard to throw away what has been bothering you, but kindly don’t allow them to shape your life. After all the things you were through, at this point in life, you deserve happiness.

Depression, anxiety, anger are all parts of growing up. You grow up every day, no matter what your age is. And each day, we encounter new experiences, some good and some bad. We make mistakes and we learn from them. We brush them aside and we move forward. How to forget bad childhood memories? Let those unacceptable recollections be the force to drive you towards your happiness, towards your success.

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Featured photo credit: Pezibear via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on February 19, 2020

15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

15 Positive Thinking Books You Need for a Happy Life

Books give us the opportunity to live vicariously through the lives of people with greater wisdom than ourselves. They stimulate our brains and help us not only solve the problems we struggle with, but also motivate and inspire us with new ideas.

One of the great things about people who think positively and live happy lives is that they love to help others do the same. There are countless positive-thinking books and these 15 are a great way to help you start living a happy life.

1. Man’s Search For Meaning by Victor E. Frankl

mans search for meaning

    This book goes through the horrific struggle of Viktor Frankl who survived holocaust concentration camps. The only thing that kept him going was his idea that everything, even the worst of human suffering, had to have meaning. If you’re struggling through anything in your life, I guarantee the words of Viktor will give you courage to press on and find happiness.

    2. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

    tuesday with morrie

       

      What is life’s greatest lesson? Morrie, a retired professor with a fatal disease, opts to use his predicament to share that message as opposed to just giving up and dying. Following the last few months of Morrie’s life will help you realize what is truly important in life.

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      3. The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

      Lecture_Book

        Similar to Tuesdays with Morrie, Randy is a college professor who finds he has a fatal disease with only a few months to live. It is customary for professors at his university (Carnegie Mellon) to give a final lecture with the basis of ‘what wisdom would you impart to a large group of people if it was your last chance?’ Randy stays incredibly positive throughout and even keeps the lecture humorous and entertaining. Amidst it all, his wisdom is a powerful reminder about how to live a happy, full life.

        4. Earning Freedom by Michael Santos

        earning freedom

          Michael Santos was sentenced to 45 years is prison for selling drugs. During his term he fought hard to earn a masters degree and half of a doctorate (halted by the warden) while writing numerous books educating students about the criminal justice system. This book provides a fascinating window into his entire sentence (released in 2012) and how a positive attitude and strong work ethic got him through it. If he found happiness in prison through positive thinking, we can do it anywhere.

          If you don’t have the attention span to finish a long book, the following quick reads are shorter but just as powerful.

          5. The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper

          little engine that could

            This book has shaped childrens’ minds for years. It illustrates the undeniable fact that when you think positively and believe in yourself, you can accomplish extraordinary things.

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            6. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

            The_Giving_Tree

              Happiness is found in giving. What does it mean to love someone? What would you sacrifice for someone you love? This children’s book teaches a valuable lesson about unconditional love and what it truly means to be happy.

              7. The Dash by Linda Ellis and Mac Anderson

              the dash

                “When your life is over, everything you did will be represented by a single dash between two dates—what will that dash mean for the people you have known and loved?” (Linda Ellis) We don’t choose a lot of things about our life – parents, birthplace, etc. – but we can choose what that dash between those two dates means. This short book will give you a great perspective on making your life worthwhile.

                8. As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

                As-a-Man-Thinketh

                  “The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state… Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.” (James Allen) This book might be short, but it is jam-packed with statements that will make you stop and think. We truly become what we think we are. Negative thoughts affect us more than we know. Positive thinking = happy life.

                  9. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald  Miller

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                  a-million-miles-in-a-thousand-years

                    You are the author of your story. No matter how boring or dull your life has been, you can always turn it around. Donald was in a rut in his life. He had no desire to get out of bed and found himself questioning the meaning of life. Eventually he realized he wasn’t a slave to a pre-written script. He used that mindset to turn around his thoughts, actions, and life. When the closing credits roll on the story of your life, what will people say? Never forget that you have the power to push your limits and live an interesting, happy life.

                    10. The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews

                    travelersgift

                      The Traveler’s Gift is a fictional story about a man who is overwhelmed with life and finds himself thrown into numerous true events from history – including Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. He interacts and learns important life lessons from seven different experiences. The book is full of ways to think more positively and find more success in life.

                      11. David and Goliath by Malcolm Gladwell

                      david and goliath

                        Malcolm Gladwell motivates you to challenge your preconceptions of underdogs and misfits in this thought-provoking book. When you break down the facts in the story of David and Goliath from the Bible, you find that David really wasn’t an underdog at all – he was the one with the advantage. This book outlines story after story after story of people who were at a disadvantage and learned to find the strength in their weakness.

                        12. How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton M. Christensen

                        how will you measure

                          How would you feel if you got to the end of your life only to realize you had been measuring success wrong? Clayton provides a mass amount of wisdom and advice on how to live a life you won’t regret.

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                          13. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson

                          Dont_Sweat_Small_Stuff

                            The small things we worry about every day may not seem like a big deal, but they wear us down slowly and stop us from living up to our full potential. Learn how to get rid of those worries and negative thoughts and live a happier life.

                            14. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

                            mere christianity

                              C.S. Lewis, who used to be an Atheist, explains how he came to find meaning in life through Christianity. He breaks down all the reasons we doubt and falter in life and how living the principles of Christianity fixes our weaknesses. Lewis is famous for his deep, thought-provoking quotes and this book is no exception.

                              15. Bushido: The Way of the Samurai by Tsunetomo Yamamoto

                              bushido

                                Bushido is based on the Hagakure, a document that served as the basis for samurai warrior behavior. The document’s purpose was to shape the mind and the spirit of the samurai warrior.

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                                Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

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