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How to Transform Your Life by Creating High Self Esteem

How to Transform Your Life by Creating High Self Esteem

Self esteem is the foundation from which a life can be fully lived. Belief in yourself is paramount when it comes to realizing your goals and making the profound difference you came into this life to make. Self truth is the core foundation of self esteem.

If you are complaining about your life, immediately stop. Complaints will get you nowhere. In one moment, you can make the decision to create the life you really want to live. All it takes is a decision, backed by inspired action and the commitment to follow through. Remember that in the seeds of our deepest despair lies the keys to creating the transformation we want to see. Use your adverse circumstances as a springboard from which you summon the determination to turn it all around completely. No one else can do this for you. This is why you are in this life—to grow, evolve, transform, and make a difference. Start with making that difference for yourself. Then, you will feel inspired to help others who are in the shoes you were once in. Start by making that decision now.

If you wish to better your life, then you must release all belief that by doing so you will be a better person. The key is in knowing that you are a supreme being just as you are and that “bettering your life” is just a means of self-expression. It is your divine expression to live according to your grandest preferences—not because it will make you better, but because you are serving as a result of discovering and expressing the best you have within you.

You are here to experience yourself, not “fix” yourself. You are not broken and you do not need to be fixed! Whoever put you down during your life lied to you.

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Your outer achievements or failures never constitute your real worth as a human being. All you are comes from your heart. All you will ever be you were already born to be. It’s all inside of you, now. Take a good look into your heart and when you find the goodness that’s already there, you will know that all you need to do to feel better is to bring it out.

The people who laugh at you, the ones who ridicule you, are the precise people who do not have the courage to live up to their highest potential. View them with loving compassion while you simultaneously stop telling them your business. If there is someone in your life who is not fully supportive of you, you certainly do not need that person in your life. Start being your own greatest support system by removing yourself from unsupportive people.

Build your self worth

Here are a few guidelines you can take from within to build your self worth, esteem, and help you bring out all your desire to be and express in your life. They are phrased in the first person to help you integrate them until you are living your truth on all levels, in all areas of your life, and genuinely feeling pure love and acceptance for yourself.

  • I remember that whether or not someone is in my life is never a reflection of me; it is merely a reflection of their preference, and I honor their preference without taking it personally and allowing it to hurt me.
  • I remember that whether I believe I can or I believe I can’t, I’m right!
  • I know that what I create in my life is an expression of what fills my heart with joy. It is never a validation of who I am, it is pure expression.
  • I know that outward status does not constitute a person’s worth. All people are equally worthy during pleasant times and unpleasant times.
  • I realize that my greatest challenges have been my greatest teachers. I have learned much from the difficulties I have been through, and I help others, even if only by sharing.
  • I create every circumstance in my life, and I do so in cooperation with others, all with pure motives.

Manifest the life you came here to live

Use the following guidelines to manifest the life you came here to live, beginning with how you view yourself.

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1. Decide. Decide how you want to feel, how you prefer to live, and how you prefer to create your life.

2. Commit. You must commit fully to the process.

3. Be Willing. You need to be willing to do whatever it takes with honesty, dignity, integrity, and pure motives.

4. Let Go. This means to let go of the expectations of others, along with doubts and all negative self-talk so your passion backs your every move.

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5. Follow. Follow your truth every moment, and follow through in your actions with everything that represents your highest and deepest truth.

6. Wait. Have patience with an ever-unfolding process and remember to enjoy the process rather than just live for an outcome.

7. Experience. This is the last step when you actually live out and experience all you first decided upon. Remember to live completely in the now, enjoying this journey called your life.

Your creative expression is too important to stifle out of fear of what others think. Bring your creative expression out from your heart because you care that it makes a difference to your joy during the process.

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Remember to listen to your body and rest when you feel tired. You can also go out for a walk in nature if you are able. Rest is so important, plus you’ll look a lot better when you’re energized and refreshed rather than run down.

While you are transforming your life, take it moment by moment so you are not just living for one goal, because that moment will come and go. Passion for all you are doing must fuel your purpose.

It’s super helpful to ask for support, such as a few tips and pointers from people who are where you would like to see yourself. While you are doing this, remember that people like when you show an interest in them. Let the person know that you would be happy to spread the word for them if they are doing something and would like to get the word out.

Being real, humble, and down to earth is a quality I’m sure you like to see in others. So remain humble, even when you do achieve success. Everyone goes through highs and lows in their life. Come from a place of, “I’ve been there and want to make a difference.” That will speak volumes to everyone. Think of the impact Princess Diana still has on the world. Her humble attitude was never cocky or status seeking. It was her heart that won the world over. There’s an old saying, “The people you meet on your way up are the same people you will meet on your way down.” This is not meant to scare or deter you, it’s just how life is—up and down, and back up again.

Whatever you are doing, never believe you have to win the approval of everyone. You do not have to explain your personal views or spiritual preferences to people who cannot relate. Simply share with people who can be supportive. If you feel negative energy from someone, move in the opposite direction. Block them on social media. Work in heart-centered cooperation with others for a win-win for all. This is so much more beneficial than so-called competition. Just do your best, and be your best, from the inside out.

A few extra pointers to help you during this process

  • Select your friends very carefully based on the goodness in their hearts, and for no other reason.
  • Admit your true feelings to yourself rather than fighting them and trying to make them go away. They are trying to tell you something you need to acknowledge and know.
  • Trust that any delay is a gift in disguise.
  • Set priorities for your daily activities according to what you feel most inspired to do.
  • Clear out any part of your life that you no longer feel excited about.
  • Remember that know you are the creator today of what your life will look like tomorrow.
  • Stay away from drama, gossip, negative people, and negative situations. Surround yourself only with people and situations that are positive, inspiring, supportive and life-giving.

Remember that no matter how successful a person may be, the truest form of success is a loving and pure heart. That is what makes the most difference. It is also priceless and eternal. Do it all with joy and you will become a true inspiration for many others.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

When I wrote my book Extraordinary PR, Ordinary Budget: A Strategy Guide, I was surprised at the various layers of review and editing necessary to get the book to publication. Before I ever submitted the manuscript, I enlisted a former colleague to read and copy edit my work. Then, I submitted my work to an editor at the publisher’s house, and once she approved it, she sent it to her colleagues and then her company’s editorial board.

Upon editorial board approval of my book, my editor sent my work to reviewers in my field, then a developmental editor, then a designer and layout team and, finally, another copy editor. There were a host of personalities with whom I needed to interact along the way.

It turns out that getting a publishing contract was just the beginning – a lot happens between developing a concept, writing the book, finding an agent and publisher, and getting the book on bookshelves or on Audible or Kindle. Through every milestone of the publishing process, my ability to interact with others was crucial. This underscored for me that no matter what or how much a person accomplishes, you never do it alone – everyone needs assistance from others.

While I conceived of the book and wrote the manuscript, there is no way my book could have hit booksellers’ shelves without the dozens of people who were involved in the publishing process. Further, interpersonal skills can propel or stonewall success.

Even as someone who has written hundreds of essays, press releases, pitch notes and other correspondence, writing itself is not a solitary endeavor. Sure, I may write in solitude, but the moment I am finished writing, there are always clients, colleagues, partners, peers and others who review my content.

What is more, even as a published author and contributor for this platform, I try to never submit final copy (content) that has not been copy edited. I send everything to my copy editor, whom I pay out of my own pocket, for her review, edits and approval. Once she has reviewed my work, caught unbeknownst-to-me errors, I am much more confident putting my work out in the world.

How Interpersonal Skills Affect Relationships

It is clearer to me now more than ever before that interpersonal skills are needed in every profession and every trade.

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People don’t elect leaders because the leaders are smart. Individuals are motivated to vote when they have a hero and when they feel they have something to lose. If they seriously dislike the other candidate, they are much more likely vote according to a 2000 Ohio State University study:

“A disliked candidate is seen as a threat, and that will be motivation to go to the polls. But a threat alone isn’t enough – people need to have a hero to vote for, too, in order to inspire them to turn out on Election Day.”

In a work setting, interpersonal skills impact every facet of your development and success. Trainers must collaborate with a design team or the company hiring them to facilitate the training. During the training itself, the facilitators must connect with the audience and establish a rapport that supports vulnerability and openness. If the trainers interact poorly with the trainees, they are unlikely to be invited back. If they are invited back, they may be unlikely to inspire cooperation or growth in their trainees.

Solopreneurs interactions with clients and subcontractors, and those interactions will, in part, support or adversely impact their business. If you enjoy a career as an acclaimed surgeon or respected lawyer, your interactions with patients, clients, health insurance agencies and a team of other practitioners – many of whom are shielded from public view – will improve or decimate your practice.

As a hiring manager, one of the things I consider when interviewing candidates is their interpersonal skills. I assess the interpersonal skills they display in their content and face-to-face presentation. I ask probing questions to learn how they interact with others, manage conflict and contribute to a team atmosphere.

When candidates say things like, “I prefer to work alone” or “I can hit the ground running without assistance,” I bristle. When candidates appear to know everything and everyone, I wonder if they will be receptive to learning or open to feedback. Could these statements be indications that these individuals lack interpersonal skills?

It stands to reason, then, that interpersonal skills are among the most valuable and the bedrock of all talents and skills.

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What are Interpersonal Skills?

Interpersonal skills range from emotional intelligence, empathy, oral and written communication to leadership to collaboration and teamwork.

In sum, interpersonal skills are skills that enable you to interact well with others. They include teachability and receptiveness to feedback, active or mindful listening, self-confidence and conflict resolution.

From a communications standpoint, interpersonal skills are about understanding how colleagues prefer to communicate and then using the appropriate mediums to meet respective needs. It is about understanding how to communicate in a way to get the most out of different people.

For instance, in my career as a public relations practitioner, part of what I am constantly evaluating is which colleagues, clients and members of the media prefer email, text or phone calls. I am assessing how much frill to use with each person depending on what has worked in the past and depending on what I know about the person with whom I am interacting.

Making these decisions and being disciplined enough to follow each person’s known preferences helps me better connect with the various individuals in my orbit. Is this tiring at times? Yes. Is it necessary? Absolutely.

How to Improve Interpersonal Skills

There are tons of resources to teach interpersonal skills. I love books such as Leadership Presence by Belle Linda Halpern and Kathy Lubar, and The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

There are also a host of books and articles on emotional intelligence, which is the ability to manage one’s emotions and perceive and adapt to others’ emotions. Emotional intelligence is likewise a critical component of positive interpersonal relations. You can learn more about it in this article: What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why It Is Important

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Active and mindful listening also support improved interpersonal skills. I recommend you take a look at this piece: Active Listening – A Skill That Everyone Should Master

I have further found that humility helps a ton with interpersonal skills. It takes humility to admit you have more to learn and that you can learn from the people around you. In fact, everyone with whom you interact has a lesson to teach you. And employers are increasingly looking for team members who are lifelong learners, meaning they believe there is always room for growth and professional and personal development.

Forbes contributor Kevin H. Johnson noted in a July 2018 article,

“That’s why, when anyone asks what the next ‘hot’ skill will be, I say it’s the same skill that will serve people today, tomorrow, and far into the future—the ability to learn.”

Don’t overlook introspection.

While interpersonal skills may seem simple enough, introspection is critical to learning where and in what ways you need to grow.

Through introspection and observation, I have learned that my interpersonal skills suffer when I am sleep deprived, because then I am short-tempered and irritable. I’ve observed this connection over a significant period in my life. Unsurprisingly, it is also true of others. Fellow LifeHack contributor, health coach and personal trainer Jamie Logie noted:

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When you are chronically sleep deprived, it really does a number on you. A lack of sleep can keep your body in a constant state of stress and over time this can get pretty ugly. Elevated stress hormones can be involved in creating a bunch of pretty nasty conditions including anxiety, headaches and dizziness, weight gain, depression, stroke, hypertension, digestive disorders, immune system dysfunction, irritability.

Additionally, the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development reported,

“Sleep deprivation can noticeably affect people’s performance, including their ability to think clearly, react quickly, and form memories. Sleep deprivation also affects mood, leading to irritability; problems with relationships, especially for children and teenagers; and depression. Sleep deprivation can also increase anxiety.”

The point is, even as you are identifying ways to improve interpersonal skills, think about what is getting in the way. While sleep deprivation is a trigger for me, your stumbling block may be different.

The Bottom Line

You cannot fix what you do not know is broken. Even as you work to understand and apply interpersonal skills, spend some time in mindful meditation to get clear on what is holding you back from developing solid relationships.

Featured photo credit: Austin Distel via unsplash.com

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