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How to Transform Your Life by Creating High Self Esteem

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How to Transform Your Life by Creating High Self Esteem

Self esteem is the foundation from which a life can be fully lived. Belief in yourself is paramount when it comes to realizing your goals and making the profound difference you came into this life to make. Self truth is the core foundation of self esteem.

If you are complaining about your life, immediately stop. Complaints will get you nowhere. In one moment, you can make the decision to create the life you really want to live. All it takes is a decision, backed by inspired action and the commitment to follow through. Remember that in the seeds of our deepest despair lies the keys to creating the transformation we want to see. Use your adverse circumstances as a springboard from which you summon the determination to turn it all around completely. No one else can do this for you. This is why you are in this life—to grow, evolve, transform, and make a difference. Start with making that difference for yourself. Then, you will feel inspired to help others who are in the shoes you were once in. Start by making that decision now.

If you wish to better your life, then you must release all belief that by doing so you will be a better person. The key is in knowing that you are a supreme being just as you are and that “bettering your life” is just a means of self-expression. It is your divine expression to live according to your grandest preferences—not because it will make you better, but because you are serving as a result of discovering and expressing the best you have within you.

You are here to experience yourself, not “fix” yourself. You are not broken and you do not need to be fixed! Whoever put you down during your life lied to you.

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Your outer achievements or failures never constitute your real worth as a human being. All you are comes from your heart. All you will ever be you were already born to be. It’s all inside of you, now. Take a good look into your heart and when you find the goodness that’s already there, you will know that all you need to do to feel better is to bring it out.

The people who laugh at you, the ones who ridicule you, are the precise people who do not have the courage to live up to their highest potential. View them with loving compassion while you simultaneously stop telling them your business. If there is someone in your life who is not fully supportive of you, you certainly do not need that person in your life. Start being your own greatest support system by removing yourself from unsupportive people.

Build your self worth

Here are a few guidelines you can take from within to build your self worth, esteem, and help you bring out all your desire to be and express in your life. They are phrased in the first person to help you integrate them until you are living your truth on all levels, in all areas of your life, and genuinely feeling pure love and acceptance for yourself.

  • I remember that whether or not someone is in my life is never a reflection of me; it is merely a reflection of their preference, and I honor their preference without taking it personally and allowing it to hurt me.
  • I remember that whether I believe I can or I believe I can’t, I’m right!
  • I know that what I create in my life is an expression of what fills my heart with joy. It is never a validation of who I am, it is pure expression.
  • I know that outward status does not constitute a person’s worth. All people are equally worthy during pleasant times and unpleasant times.
  • I realize that my greatest challenges have been my greatest teachers. I have learned much from the difficulties I have been through, and I help others, even if only by sharing.
  • I create every circumstance in my life, and I do so in cooperation with others, all with pure motives.

Manifest the life you came here to live

Use the following guidelines to manifest the life you came here to live, beginning with how you view yourself.

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1. Decide. Decide how you want to feel, how you prefer to live, and how you prefer to create your life.

2. Commit. You must commit fully to the process.

3. Be Willing. You need to be willing to do whatever it takes with honesty, dignity, integrity, and pure motives.

4. Let Go. This means to let go of the expectations of others, along with doubts and all negative self-talk so your passion backs your every move.

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5. Follow. Follow your truth every moment, and follow through in your actions with everything that represents your highest and deepest truth.

6. Wait. Have patience with an ever-unfolding process and remember to enjoy the process rather than just live for an outcome.

7. Experience. This is the last step when you actually live out and experience all you first decided upon. Remember to live completely in the now, enjoying this journey called your life.

Your creative expression is too important to stifle out of fear of what others think. Bring your creative expression out from your heart because you care that it makes a difference to your joy during the process.

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Remember to listen to your body and rest when you feel tired. You can also go out for a walk in nature if you are able. Rest is so important, plus you’ll look a lot better when you’re energized and refreshed rather than run down.

While you are transforming your life, take it moment by moment so you are not just living for one goal, because that moment will come and go. Passion for all you are doing must fuel your purpose.

It’s super helpful to ask for support, such as a few tips and pointers from people who are where you would like to see yourself. While you are doing this, remember that people like when you show an interest in them. Let the person know that you would be happy to spread the word for them if they are doing something and would like to get the word out.

Being real, humble, and down to earth is a quality I’m sure you like to see in others. So remain humble, even when you do achieve success. Everyone goes through highs and lows in their life. Come from a place of, “I’ve been there and want to make a difference.” That will speak volumes to everyone. Think of the impact Princess Diana still has on the world. Her humble attitude was never cocky or status seeking. It was her heart that won the world over. There’s an old saying, “The people you meet on your way up are the same people you will meet on your way down.” This is not meant to scare or deter you, it’s just how life is—up and down, and back up again.

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Whatever you are doing, never believe you have to win the approval of everyone. You do not have to explain your personal views or spiritual preferences to people who cannot relate. Simply share with people who can be supportive. If you feel negative energy from someone, move in the opposite direction. Block them on social media. Work in heart-centered cooperation with others for a win-win for all. This is so much more beneficial than so-called competition. Just do your best, and be your best, from the inside out.

A few extra pointers to help you during this process

  • Select your friends very carefully based on the goodness in their hearts, and for no other reason.
  • Admit your true feelings to yourself rather than fighting them and trying to make them go away. They are trying to tell you something you need to acknowledge and know.
  • Trust that any delay is a gift in disguise.
  • Set priorities for your daily activities according to what you feel most inspired to do.
  • Clear out any part of your life that you no longer feel excited about.
  • Remember that know you are the creator today of what your life will look like tomorrow.
  • Stay away from drama, gossip, negative people, and negative situations. Surround yourself only with people and situations that are positive, inspiring, supportive and life-giving.

Remember that no matter how successful a person may be, the truest form of success is a loving and pure heart. That is what makes the most difference. It is also priceless and eternal. Do it all with joy and you will become a true inspiration for many others.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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