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How to Transform Your Life by Creating High Self Esteem

How to Transform Your Life by Creating High Self Esteem

Self esteem is the foundation from which a life can be fully lived. Belief in yourself is paramount when it comes to realizing your goals and making the profound difference you came into this life to make. Self truth is the core foundation of self esteem.

If you are complaining about your life, immediately stop. Complaints will get you nowhere. In one moment, you can make the decision to create the life you really want to live. All it takes is a decision, backed by inspired action and the commitment to follow through. Remember that in the seeds of our deepest despair lies the keys to creating the transformation we want to see. Use your adverse circumstances as a springboard from which you summon the determination to turn it all around completely. No one else can do this for you. This is why you are in this life—to grow, evolve, transform, and make a difference. Start with making that difference for yourself. Then, you will feel inspired to help others who are in the shoes you were once in. Start by making that decision now.

If you wish to better your life, then you must release all belief that by doing so you will be a better person. The key is in knowing that you are a supreme being just as you are and that “bettering your life” is just a means of self-expression. It is your divine expression to live according to your grandest preferences—not because it will make you better, but because you are serving as a result of discovering and expressing the best you have within you.

You are here to experience yourself, not “fix” yourself. You are not broken and you do not need to be fixed! Whoever put you down during your life lied to you.

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Your outer achievements or failures never constitute your real worth as a human being. All you are comes from your heart. All you will ever be you were already born to be. It’s all inside of you, now. Take a good look into your heart and when you find the goodness that’s already there, you will know that all you need to do to feel better is to bring it out.

The people who laugh at you, the ones who ridicule you, are the precise people who do not have the courage to live up to their highest potential. View them with loving compassion while you simultaneously stop telling them your business. If there is someone in your life who is not fully supportive of you, you certainly do not need that person in your life. Start being your own greatest support system by removing yourself from unsupportive people.

Build your self worth

Here are a few guidelines you can take from within to build your self worth, esteem, and help you bring out all your desire to be and express in your life. They are phrased in the first person to help you integrate them until you are living your truth on all levels, in all areas of your life, and genuinely feeling pure love and acceptance for yourself.

  • I remember that whether or not someone is in my life is never a reflection of me; it is merely a reflection of their preference, and I honor their preference without taking it personally and allowing it to hurt me.
  • I remember that whether I believe I can or I believe I can’t, I’m right!
  • I know that what I create in my life is an expression of what fills my heart with joy. It is never a validation of who I am, it is pure expression.
  • I know that outward status does not constitute a person’s worth. All people are equally worthy during pleasant times and unpleasant times.
  • I realize that my greatest challenges have been my greatest teachers. I have learned much from the difficulties I have been through, and I help others, even if only by sharing.
  • I create every circumstance in my life, and I do so in cooperation with others, all with pure motives.

Manifest the life you came here to live

Use the following guidelines to manifest the life you came here to live, beginning with how you view yourself.

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1. Decide. Decide how you want to feel, how you prefer to live, and how you prefer to create your life.

2. Commit. You must commit fully to the process.

3. Be Willing. You need to be willing to do whatever it takes with honesty, dignity, integrity, and pure motives.

4. Let Go. This means to let go of the expectations of others, along with doubts and all negative self-talk so your passion backs your every move.

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5. Follow. Follow your truth every moment, and follow through in your actions with everything that represents your highest and deepest truth.

6. Wait. Have patience with an ever-unfolding process and remember to enjoy the process rather than just live for an outcome.

7. Experience. This is the last step when you actually live out and experience all you first decided upon. Remember to live completely in the now, enjoying this journey called your life.

Your creative expression is too important to stifle out of fear of what others think. Bring your creative expression out from your heart because you care that it makes a difference to your joy during the process.

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Remember to listen to your body and rest when you feel tired. You can also go out for a walk in nature if you are able. Rest is so important, plus you’ll look a lot better when you’re energized and refreshed rather than run down.

While you are transforming your life, take it moment by moment so you are not just living for one goal, because that moment will come and go. Passion for all you are doing must fuel your purpose.

It’s super helpful to ask for support, such as a few tips and pointers from people who are where you would like to see yourself. While you are doing this, remember that people like when you show an interest in them. Let the person know that you would be happy to spread the word for them if they are doing something and would like to get the word out.

Being real, humble, and down to earth is a quality I’m sure you like to see in others. So remain humble, even when you do achieve success. Everyone goes through highs and lows in their life. Come from a place of, “I’ve been there and want to make a difference.” That will speak volumes to everyone. Think of the impact Princess Diana still has on the world. Her humble attitude was never cocky or status seeking. It was her heart that won the world over. There’s an old saying, “The people you meet on your way up are the same people you will meet on your way down.” This is not meant to scare or deter you, it’s just how life is—up and down, and back up again.

Whatever you are doing, never believe you have to win the approval of everyone. You do not have to explain your personal views or spiritual preferences to people who cannot relate. Simply share with people who can be supportive. If you feel negative energy from someone, move in the opposite direction. Block them on social media. Work in heart-centered cooperation with others for a win-win for all. This is so much more beneficial than so-called competition. Just do your best, and be your best, from the inside out.

A few extra pointers to help you during this process

  • Select your friends very carefully based on the goodness in their hearts, and for no other reason.
  • Admit your true feelings to yourself rather than fighting them and trying to make them go away. They are trying to tell you something you need to acknowledge and know.
  • Trust that any delay is a gift in disguise.
  • Set priorities for your daily activities according to what you feel most inspired to do.
  • Clear out any part of your life that you no longer feel excited about.
  • Remember that know you are the creator today of what your life will look like tomorrow.
  • Stay away from drama, gossip, negative people, and negative situations. Surround yourself only with people and situations that are positive, inspiring, supportive and life-giving.

Remember that no matter how successful a person may be, the truest form of success is a loving and pure heart. That is what makes the most difference. It is also priceless and eternal. Do it all with joy and you will become a true inspiration for many others.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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