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At 19 I Decided It Was Time To Fire My Boss – Here’s Why

At 19 I Decided It Was Time To Fire My Boss – Here’s Why

If you’re reading this article, chances are you’re almost ready to do the same.

Let me guess, you’re stuck in the office right now, shielding your screen from nosey co-workers who are eager to bust you doing something other than your work. Or you’re reading this article while vegetating on the couch from another unfulfilled day at work, dreading going back in tomorrow. Do you ask yourself if this is it? Is this what life is going to be like for the next 40-odd years?

The answer: yes.  Yes – if you don’t do anything to change it.

For me, I decided that I needed to fire my boss otherwise I would continue to repeat my current reality over and over again until I died at 25 but only get buried at 75.

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Don’t misunderstand me, I am not advocating you resigning at this very moment and ignoring any and all responsibility you currently have. What I meant by ‘firing my boss’ was making a decision that I no longer would live my life at the whim of someone else control. I made a commitment to myself that I was going to, at this very moment, begin to create a life that I love and have always dreamed of living.

The first action I took was negotiating a pay raise at my current job (side note: the only way to do this is to add immense VALUE to your employment organisation, something I’ll write on another day) and as result I was able to cut my hours back without sacrificing my income, allowing an extra two full days to dedicate to chasing my passion and build my dream of writing and publishing a book.

Fast-forward 9 months and what most call a pipe dream – I achieved. I wrote and published my first book titled #SUCCESS in 2013, which opened all sorts of doors to opportunities on the writing and speaking circuit.

If you read through these four signs below and can say “yup, that’s me”, you may also be ready to make the leap from a 9 to 5 to full-time dream hustler.

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1. You’re bored and unfulfilled
It’s sad that in this day and age, being ‘unhappy’ isn’t a socially accepted motivator to hand in your resignation and venture out to create a fulfilling and meaningful life. So many suppress the feeling of lack and go through life on default just so they can collapse on the couch at the end of day and complain about it.

Here’s a piece of advice you’ll never be able to ignore: LIFE IS SHORT and you really, really don’t have to live a unsatisfying and dull life. Going against the gain (society) and making a change might be scary but what should make you even more scared is living a boring and unfulfilled life.

Breaking out of the 9-5 mold and dedicating your entire spare time to pursuing your biggest and wildest of dreams, is the only way to tame that voice inside you that says you’re so much more than what you’re currently doing.

2. You always think “I could have done that”
Have you ever read a book and thought, man I could have written that. Or you find out Flappy Birds sold for $6 million and thought, I can design apps better than that. Or you’ve spoken to other entrepreneurs or self-employed individuals and thought, man it sounds like hard work but I would rather spend 70 hours building my business than 40 hours at a desk watching the clock tick.

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If so, you’re on the right track.

My advice would be to link up with mentors who can help you learn. Find ways to add value to them and in exchange they will teach you what they know. Remembering that every winner was once a beginner will help you preserver through the tough times ahead.

3. You’re using your head as well as your heart
Do you have a game plan? Have you figured out exactly what it is you want to pursue? I would hate for you to read this article, quit your job then spend all your extra time and resources on unproductive activities that serve you no purpose.

Having a detailed game plan is critical when going out on your own. Ensure you’ve prepared all the basics BEFORE you jump ship. Have a business plan? Great! Have all your marketing material? Yes? Awesome. If you don’t, sacrifice your weekends now so you don’t waste your time on non-revenue producing activities when you cut back your employment hours.

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Set your D-day and start preparing. When the day comes to start making your dream a reality, ensuring you’re as prepared as possible will help with the overwhelm and uncomfortableness. (Remember, the magic happens outside of your comfort zone. Always has, always will.)

4. You’re ready to know the word ‘sacrifice’ extremely well
Sorry to burst your bubble but overnight success is a total myth. One of my favorite sayings is, ‘it takes ten years to become on overnight success’. AMEN!

You’re ready to join the entrepreneur train when you’ve made peace with living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t. Late nights will mean prospecting, writing proposals, planning, learning NOT fancy dinners and nightclubs. Early mornings will mean Skype calls, reading, research, marketing and emails NOT 4am cab rides home or sleep ins.

Think about what expenses are necessary in your life right now and what you’re actually just buying to compensate for the unhappiness of your current reality. What you might actually find is that your need for particular luxuries or distractions will fall away completely when you are fulfilled with chasing your dreams.

Hustling isn’t perfect – it’s stressful and consuming however I know most self-employed people would never go back to a mind numbing 9 to 5 (including me).

If you’ve read through these four signs and feel at least halfway ready – jump! Start planning, start saving, start networking, and continue learning. The fear you feel now and will continue to feel is normal, but choose to use it as a motivator. I know you agree that uncertainty and feeling uncomfortable is better than regret.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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