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5 Ways To Boost Your Self-Growth

5 Ways To Boost Your Self-Growth

In today’s world, people seem to be too comfortable in their current environment — and there is no way growth can occur in that kind of environment.

Here are 5 simple ways that you can circumvent this problem and improve your self-growth instantly.

1. Your self-growth will improve when everyone around you is ahead of you.

If you are the smartest person in your group, then it’s time to find another group of people to hang out with. Remember, if you want to grow, you must not only be feeding people with the little knowledge you have, you also want to learn from people around you so that you don’t wear out. Even if you seem to be the least smart among your new group of friends, then that is an awesome challenge. If you give intimidation no room, you will be surprised at how rapidly your growth will take off.

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2. Your self-growth will improve when you are constantly being challenged.

A lot of us are comfortable with the situation or position that life is giving us, but I can tell you that if you are comfortable with the money in your bank account, then you will not feel the motivation to push for more. If a B+ grade is “fine” for you, then you are not willing to grow. Don’t get me wrong; be happy and grateful with what you have or have accomplished, but if you are always satisfied and not willing to take the extra steps required to do better, then you will always remain at that level.

3. Your self-growth will improve when you are out of your comfort zone.

Like we all say, “no pain, no gain.” Too many people are not willing to go an extra mile to achieve what they want in life. Too many people are not ready to feel the pain so that they can gain. We tend to stop at 70%, but the pain doesn’t really start until 90%. We are humans and we are all born naturally lazy.

When you stay up an extra hour or two, or even if you give up 3-4 hours of sleep to finish your assignment, then you are boosting your self-growth. If you are not willing to stay up while everyone else is sleeping, then you will be just like everyone else. You need to break out of that comfort zone so that you can stand out. You need to start doing things that need to get done, even if you don’t feel like doing them. Then, not only will you be different from your peers, but they will have a lot to learn from you.

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4. Your self-growth will improve when your focus is forward.

There is something I like to call “almost finished syndrome.” Most people start something but don’t have the self-discipline or courage to finish it. If you want to finish what you have started, your focus must always be forward. Even if people around you are withdrawing or giving up, you must know that you have a vision, and you must develop a passion that will keep you going until you reach the finish line. In the journey of success, there is a finish line, but we don’t see it until we get there because of all the obstacles and setbacks we have to overcome. We all need mentors or people around us that believe in our dreams and will always encourage us when we feel like giving up. If you don’t currently have a mentor, take some time to look to those you admire and find one.

5. Your self-growth will improve when failure becomes your best friend.

A wise man once said: “Failure is the price that we pay in order to achieve success.”

I strongly agree. We need to change our perspective on what failure is. We need start seeing it as a price that we can all afford to pay in order to achieve success. And like my Pastor (Yemi Ogunsanya) always says, “Perspective determines attitude, attitude determines altitude.”

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Your attitude towards failure will determine how far you will go on the journey to success. Former baseball star Sam Ewing once said that “nothing is as embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said could not be done.”

Just because something has never been done before doesn’t mean you cannot do it. Even if you fail trying, then you have discovered one way that it wouldn’t work. Try another way and be just like Thomas Edison, who tried about a thousand times before successfully making the first-ever electric light bulb.

A knock down is not a knock out. So, be the best you can be in life. Nothing on this planet is too hard to achieve, you just need to divide it into smaller parts and take things one step at a time.

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Featured photo credit: Savannah Freemantle via longevitylive.com

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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