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5 Ways To Boost Your Self-Growth

5 Ways To Boost Your Self-Growth

In today’s world, people seem to be too comfortable in their current environment — and there is no way growth can occur in that kind of environment.

Here are 5 simple ways that you can circumvent this problem and improve your self-growth instantly.

1. Your self-growth will improve when everyone around you is ahead of you.

If you are the smartest person in your group, then it’s time to find another group of people to hang out with. Remember, if you want to grow, you must not only be feeding people with the little knowledge you have, you also want to learn from people around you so that you don’t wear out. Even if you seem to be the least smart among your new group of friends, then that is an awesome challenge. If you give intimidation no room, you will be surprised at how rapidly your growth will take off.

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2. Your self-growth will improve when you are constantly being challenged.

A lot of us are comfortable with the situation or position that life is giving us, but I can tell you that if you are comfortable with the money in your bank account, then you will not feel the motivation to push for more. If a B+ grade is “fine” for you, then you are not willing to grow. Don’t get me wrong; be happy and grateful with what you have or have accomplished, but if you are always satisfied and not willing to take the extra steps required to do better, then you will always remain at that level.

3. Your self-growth will improve when you are out of your comfort zone.

Like we all say, “no pain, no gain.” Too many people are not willing to go an extra mile to achieve what they want in life. Too many people are not ready to feel the pain so that they can gain. We tend to stop at 70%, but the pain doesn’t really start until 90%. We are humans and we are all born naturally lazy.

When you stay up an extra hour or two, or even if you give up 3-4 hours of sleep to finish your assignment, then you are boosting your self-growth. If you are not willing to stay up while everyone else is sleeping, then you will be just like everyone else. You need to break out of that comfort zone so that you can stand out. You need to start doing things that need to get done, even if you don’t feel like doing them. Then, not only will you be different from your peers, but they will have a lot to learn from you.

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4. Your self-growth will improve when your focus is forward.

There is something I like to call “almost finished syndrome.” Most people start something but don’t have the self-discipline or courage to finish it. If you want to finish what you have started, your focus must always be forward. Even if people around you are withdrawing or giving up, you must know that you have a vision, and you must develop a passion that will keep you going until you reach the finish line. In the journey of success, there is a finish line, but we don’t see it until we get there because of all the obstacles and setbacks we have to overcome. We all need mentors or people around us that believe in our dreams and will always encourage us when we feel like giving up. If you don’t currently have a mentor, take some time to look to those you admire and find one.

5. Your self-growth will improve when failure becomes your best friend.

A wise man once said: “Failure is the price that we pay in order to achieve success.”

I strongly agree. We need to change our perspective on what failure is. We need start seeing it as a price that we can all afford to pay in order to achieve success. And like my Pastor (Yemi Ogunsanya) always says, “Perspective determines attitude, attitude determines altitude.”

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Your attitude towards failure will determine how far you will go on the journey to success. Former baseball star Sam Ewing once said that “nothing is as embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said could not be done.”

Just because something has never been done before doesn’t mean you cannot do it. Even if you fail trying, then you have discovered one way that it wouldn’t work. Try another way and be just like Thomas Edison, who tried about a thousand times before successfully making the first-ever electric light bulb.

A knock down is not a knock out. So, be the best you can be in life. Nothing on this planet is too hard to achieve, you just need to divide it into smaller parts and take things one step at a time.

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Featured photo credit: Savannah Freemantle via longevitylive.com

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Last Updated on October 13, 2020

12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

Having high self-esteem is important if you are aiming for personal or professional success. Interestingly, most people will high levels of self-esteem act in similar ways. That’s why it’s often easy to pick them out in a crowd. There’s something about the way they hold themselves and speak, isn’t there?

We all have different hopes, dreams, experiences, and paths, but confidence has its own universal language. This list will present some of the things you won’t find yourself doing if you have high self-esteem.

1. Compare Yourself to Others

People with low self-esteem are constantly comparing their situation to others. On the other hand, people with higher self-esteem show empathy and compassion while also protecting their own sanity. They know how much they can handle and when they can offer a helping hand.

In the age of social media, however, social comparisons are nearly ubiquitous. One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”[1]. Basically, you will feel worse about yourself if you are constantly getting glimpses into lives that you consider to be better than yours.

Try to limit your time on social media. Also, when you do start scrolling, keep in mind that each profile is carefully crafted to create the appearance of a perfect life. Check yourself when you find yourself wishing for greener grass.

2. Be Mean-Spirited

People with low self-esteem bully others. They take pleasure in putting other people down. People with positive self-esteem see no need to down other people, choosing instead to encourage and celebrate successes.

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If you find that you feel the need to put others down, analyze where that’s coming from. If they’ve had success in life, help them feel good about that achievement. They may do the same for you one day.

3. Let Imperfection Ruin Your Day

Perfectionism isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but obsessing over making everything perfect is a sign that you have low self-esteem and can lead to never-ending negative thoughts. This can turn into an inability to solve problems creatively, which will only make self-esteem issues worse. 

Those with high self-esteem disconnect from the results and do their best without expecting perfection.

People with that kind of confidence understand that messing up is a part of life and that each time they aim and miss success, they’ll at least learn something along the way.

If you miss the mark, or if your plan doesn’t work out exactly as you would have liked, take a deep breath and see if you can pivot in order to do better next time.

4. Dwell on Failure

It’s common to hear people dwelling on all the ways things will go wrong. They are positive that their every failure signals an impossible task or an innate inability to do something. People with healthy self-esteem discover why they failed and try again.

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People with higher levels of confidence also tend to adopt a growth mindset[2]. This type of thinking supports the idea that most of your abilities can be improved and altered, as opposed to being fixed.

For example, instead of saying, “I’m just not good at math; that’s why I did bad on the test,” someone with a growth mindset would say, “Math is difficult for me, so I’ll have to put in some more practice to improve next time.”

Next time you experience a failure, check out this video to help you believe in yourself again:

5. Devalue Your Self-Esteem

People with high self-esteem value their own perception of themselves – they understand that they come first and don’t feel guilty about taking care of themselves. They believe charity starts within, and if they don’t believe that, they’ll never have a healthy self-image.

Self-care is often top of the priority list for people with self-esteem. For some ways to practice self-care, check out this article.

6. Try to Please Others

They can’t please all the people all the time, so confident people first focus on doing what will make them feel fulfilled and happy. While they will politely listen to others’ thoughts and advice, they know that their goals and dreams have to be completed on their own terms.

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7. Close Yourself off

Confident people have the ability to be vulnerable. It’s those with poor self-esteem that hide all the best parts of themselves behind an emotional wall. Instead of keeping the real you a secret, be open and honest in all your dealings.

As Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, points out, “Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen”[3]. When you embrace each facet of who you are and allow others to see them as well, it will create deeper, more meaningful connections in your life. When that happens, you’ll realize that perfection doesn’t lead to people liking you more.

You can learn more about the power of vulnerability in this TED talk with Brené Brown:

8. Follow and Avoiding Leading

People with low self-esteem don’t believe they can lead, so they end up following others, sometimes into unhealthy situations. Rather than seeking a sense of belonging, people with high self-esteem walk their own paths and create social circles that build them up.

9. Fish for Compliments

If you’re constantly seeking compliments, you’re not confident. People with high self-esteem always do their best (and go out of their way to do good deeds) because it’s what they want to do, not because they’re seeking recognition. If you need to hear compliments, say them to yourself in the mirror.

You can even try some positive affirmations if you need a confidence boost. Check out these affirmations to get started.

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10. Be Lazy

People work harder when they have high self-esteem because they’re not bogged down by doubts and complaints. Those with low self-esteem end up procrastinating and wasting their energy thinking about all the work they have to do rather than rolling up their sleeves and just getting it done.

This may also bounce off perfectionism. Perfectionists often feel intimidated by certain projects if they fear that they won’t be able to complete them perfectly. Tap into your confidence and simply do your best without worrying about a perfect outcome.

11. Shy Away from Risks

When you trust yourself, you’ll be willing to participate more in life. People with low self-esteem are always on the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment to jump in. Instead of letting life pass you by, have confidence in your success and take the risks necessary to succeed.

12. Gossip

People with low self-esteem are always in other peoples’ business – they’re more interested in what everyone else is doing than themselves. People with high self-esteem are more interested in their own life and stay out of others’ affairs.

Instead of participating in idle gossip, talk about some positive news you heard recently, or that fascinating book you just finished. There’s plenty to talk about beyond what this or that person did wrong in their life.

The Bottom Line

Self-esteem is to success in life. People who maintain a healthy level of self-esteem believe in themselves and push themselves to succeed, while those with low confidence feel a sense of entitlement.

If you need a boost in your self-image and mental health, avoid negative self-talk and the other mistakes of people with low self-esteem. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

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Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem
[2] Brain Pickings: Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives
[3] Forbes: Brene Brown: How Vulnerability Can Make Our Lives Better

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