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10 Reasons Why Parents Should Treat Their Kids As Adults

10 Reasons Why Parents Should Treat Their Kids As Adults

Three years ago, my eldest daughter attended her friend’s birthday party. I was busy attending to my other children when the mother handed my daughter a piece of cake. I asked my daughter, “Did you say, ‘Thank you’?” My daughter said yes, she had. But the mother interjected with, “Meh, they’re kids. Kids don’t need to have manners.” I was quite taken aback. I’ve never been a supporter of the saying, “kids will be kids.” I have three young children and I believe that children are a lot more capable than we all realize. If we set low expectations for children, we get low results. But when we see them as little people who can be taught how to be kind and considerate, then their future prospects will be so very different.

Here are 10 reasons why parents should sometimes treat their kids as adults.

1. Your kids will have a better understanding of boundaries.

The phrase “kids will be kids” is often used as a justification for misbehavior. For example, a child pushes in front of the line to get to the playground slide and someone comments, “kids will be kids.” As much as young children’s brains are developing, they still have the ability to learn what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

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If we, as parents, believe that “John needs to realize that it is not okay to push in front of the line,” then chances are, our child will start to understand this too. It’s about setting boundaries and teaching them etiquette rules that will be useful for the rest of their life.

2. Your kids will better understand responsibility.

Children shouldn’t grow up stress-ridden, but they need to learn the basics of being responsible. For example, as adults, we might have children or pets to look after. We have housework to do. We have food to cook. If we let our children help with some of these activities, they will learn that responsibilities are a part of life. If you encourage your child to make their bed every day, to help wash up after dinner, to feed the pet goldfish, then you are teaching them that success happens when people work together.

3. Your kids might do more than what is expected of them.

For many of us, being told “Oh, you wouldn’t understand” would leave us feeling quite hurt, offended, or angry. For children, their reaction would probably be similar. But If you challenge your children and give them the opportunity to prove themselves, then you’re basically telling them, “I believe in you. I think you’re capable.” If you’re anxious about your child doing the dishes and never ask them to, then you’re depriving yourself and them of the chance to prove that they can. But if you give them that chance, they might even start doing extra housework you never asked them to do.

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4. Your kids will appreciate the value of being kind and considerate.

Teaching your children empathy is one of the most important skills you can pass on. In a world where competition and power can often override caring about others, it is essential to focus our parenting on kindness. Rather than looking at our kids and thinking, “They’re too young to understand how other people feel,” teach them to know how others are feeling. If your young child hears another child crying, make a comment, “Aww, that girl is crying. She must be feeling sad. I hope she is okay.” In addition to this, acknowledge and validate your own child’s feelings.

5. Your kids will find it easier to believe in themselves.

If you, the parent, believe in your child, then chances are they will believe in themselves too. As adults, we know that life is filled with ups and downs. We know that sometimes there are setbacks that leave us struggling to get back up. If you encourage your child and value who they are, they are very likely to feel the same about themselves. They will feel confident about who they are and use that confidence to get them through life.

6. Your kids will become stronger and more resilient.

We parents often depend on what we believe parenting should be. For some, being a parent is simply about protecting their child. For others, it’s about preparing their child for the future. Striking a balance between the two is probably more ideal. Rather than trying to protect your children from all pain and suffering, do your best to help them cope with any future pain and suffering. If they don’t win a prize in pass-the-parcel, don’t be in a hurry to tell the parents to find one for your child. Let them learn how to deal with pain. Let them prove to themselves that they are strong and can cope with disappointment. As an adult, this resilience will help them immensely in all areas of their life.

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7. Your kids will understand that you can’t always get what you want.

If you’re walking through the supermarket with your young child and they’re screaming for a chocolate bar, don’t feel pressured into buying it for them. As difficult as it is to resist the temptation to keep them quiet, you need to believe that your child is capable of calming down without it. Your child will learn to better self-regulate their emotions and start to realize that you can’t always get what you want in life.

8. Your kids will learn how valuable it can be to share experiences with others.

You might see fathers work on their cars with their kids. You might see mothers cooking with their children. You might see either mother or father sharing their hobbies and interests with their young children. Doing “things that adults do” with your child helps them realize that life isn’t about being on your own—it’s about experiencing the journey of life with other people. This is an important lesson to teach your child because surrounding themselves with a supportive network of people will help them get through the challenges of life. They will have people to count on, people they can trust, people who make their lives better.

9. Your kids will really feel that they matter.

When we sometimes look at our kids as adults, they are more likely to feel that they are just like everyone else. Their age doesn’t mean that they don’t matter. Their thoughts and opinions are not any less important or valid. Let your child voice their thoughts on controversial topics. Let them express the individual that they are without censoring them completely. By seeing your child for who they are, rather than what you want them to be, you’re reminding them that they matter.

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10. Your kids will grow up believing they really can make a difference.

Most parents want to raise children who grow up being happy and successful. They don’t want much for them, aside from knowing that they are living a life that makes them happy and that they are utilizing their talents. When your kids tell you what they want to be when they grow up, don’t dismiss them. Don’t laugh. Encourage them and their dreams—even if those dreams are likely to change many times in a year. When you treat your children like adults, their thirst for knowledge increases. They might just understand and believe you when you say that they really can make a difference. That they are not just one person in this world. They are actually one person who has the potential to change the world.

Featured photo credit: Grand Velas Riviera Maya via flickr.com

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Published on November 7, 2018

How to Homeschool in the 21st Century (For All Types of Parents & Kids)

How to Homeschool in the 21st Century (For All Types of Parents & Kids)

In 2016, it was estimated that 1.7 million children were being homeschooled in the U.S, roughly 3.3% of all school-aged children.[1] Although this may not sound like a big portion of the population, the growth rate of homeschooling has been 7 to15% per year for the last two decades.

The burgeoning numbers are not a coincidence. There are tremendous benefits to homeschooling, including one-on-one teaching, adaptability to individual needs and learning styles, a safe learning environment, encouraging learning for knowledge rather than grades, and tailoring a curriculum to the child’s interests.

Is homeschooling something that you have been considering for your family? With all of the tools and resources available for homeschoolers in the 21st century, it may be easier than you think.

How to Homeschool (Getting Started)

After thinking it through, you’ve decided that homeschooling is the right step for you and your family. Now what? Here are the first things you should do to get your homeschooling journey started on the right track.

Figure Out the Laws

Homeschooling is regulated by the state, not the federal government. The first step is to find the current and accurate legal requirements mandated by your state in order to educate your child legally.[2]

The regulations can vary widely, from strict guidelines to no guidelines at all. However, don’t be overwhelmed by the legal jargon. There are many resources and local communities for homeschooling families that can help you figure out the logistics.

Decide on an Approach

Every child’s needs are different. This is your chance to choose the homeschooling style or combination of styles that best fits your child’s learning style and interests. A brief description of seven different homeschooling methods are listed below.

Supplies/Resources

Often times, purchasing a homeschooling curriculum is done too early in the planning process, resulting in buyer’s remorse.

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A curriculum is not always needed for homeschooling, and other types of free or less structured resources are readily available.

Find a Community

Getting connected with a community of homeschoolers is one of the most important parts of building a successful and thriving homeschool environment for your kids.

Look for communities online for virtual support or a local group that you and your kids can interact with. Partnering with others fosters better socialization skills for the students and provides opportunities for field trips, classes, and outings that wouldn’t have otherwise been a part of the homeschooling experience.

7 Different Homeschooling Methods

1. School-At-Home

Also known as Traditional homeschool, School-At-Home uses essentially the same curriculum as the local private or public school but at home.

The lessons can be completed independently, but more commonly, they are administered by a parent or a teacher-facilitated online school.

  • Benefits: formal standards, wide selection of curricula, same pace as peers, short-term friendly
  • Drawbacks: expensive, inflexible, time consuming, parent can get easily burnt out
  • Resources: K12, Time4Learning, Abeka

2. Classical

One of the most popular homeschooling methods used, it borrows educational practices from Ancient Greece and Rome. Subject areas are studied chronologically so that students can understand the consequence of ideas over time.

Socratic dialogue fosters effective discussions and debate to achieve beyond mere comprehension. There is often a strong emphasis on Great Books[3] as well as Greek and Latin.

3. Unit Studies

Rather than breaking up education into subjects, unit studies approach each topic as a whole, studying it from the perspective of each subject area.

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For example, a unit study about animals could include reading books about animals, learning about the classification of animals, figuring out which animals live on which continents, etc. This method is often used as a technique in other more comprehensive educational methodologies.

  • Benefits: promotes thinking about concepts as a whole, not monotonous or redundant, student-directed, bolsters weaker subject areas, beneficial for teaching multi-age students
  • Drawbacks: incomplete, knowledge gaps, curriculum-dependent
  • Resources: Unit Study, Unit Studies, Unit Studies Made Easy, Konos

4. Charlotte Mason

This Christian homeschooling style utilizes shorts periods of study (15-20 minute max for elementary, 45 minute max for high school), along with nature walks and history portfolios.

Students are encouraged to practice observation, memorization, and narration often. With a focus on “living books” (stories with heroes, life lessons, socio-ethical implications), reading plays a big role in this student-paced teaching style.

5. Montessori

Maria Montessori developed this method through working with special needs children in the early 20th century.

With a primary focus on the student setting the pace and indirect instruction from the teacher, this approach includes free movement, large unstructured time blocks (up to 3 hours), multi-grade classes, and individualized learning plans based on interests.

6. Unschooling

Unschooling is a learning model largely based on the work of John Holt.[4] The teaching style focuses mainly on the students’ interests, putting priority on experiential, activity-based, and learn as you go approaches.

For basic skills such as reading, writing, and math, a systematic technique is employed, but testing and evaluations are typically not utilized. Teachers, in general, play more of a facilitator role.

7. Eclectic/Relaxed

As the most popular method of homeschool, eclectic homeschooling is child-directed, resourceful, and non-curriculum based.

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Parents can sample any combination of homeschooling methods and styles or resources. One growing sector of eclectic homeschooling combines part homeschooling with part traditional schooling.

How to Facilitate Homeschooling with Technology

One of the reasons homeschooling is more feasible than ever before is due to the accessibility of tools and resources to enhance the learning process.

Email

Email is a tool that has really stood the test of time. Invented in 1972, it is still used today as a primary means of communicating on the Internet.

It is a great way to share assignments, links, and videos between parent and student.

Google Drive/Calendar

Google Drive offers a multitude of essential programs that can come in handy for homeschoolers, such as Docs, Sheets, Slides, and more.

With its sharing capabilities, easy accessibility, and auto-save ability, it’s easier than ever to organize and complete assignments. It will improve students’ writing and typing skills, as well as eliminate the need for paper.

Google Calendar is an excellent tool for tracking assignment due dates, planning field trips and activities, and developing time management skills.

Ebooks

Rather than invest in physical copies of books, ebooks are a wonderful option for saving money and space. There are plenty of places that offer a free or paid subscription to a wide selection of ebooks:

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E-Courses

When a structured curriculum is necessary for teaching a certain topic, an e-course is the way to go.

From watercolors to calculus, there are e-courses available about almost everything. Including different teaching styles that vary from the parents will encourage students to learn in different ways.

The visual and auditory stimulation will also be beneficial in helping students understand and retain the concepts being taught.

Some recommendations:

Youtube

Youtube is not just a platform for music videos and cats doing funny things. There are a number of Youtube channels that produce quality educational videos, free of charge.

Creating a playlist of videos for various topics is a great way to supplement a homeschool education.

Some recommendations:

Final Thoughts

Homeschooling in the current age looks much different than it did ten years ago. There are more options and more flexibility when it comes to educating kids at home.

Don’t be overwhelmed by the idea of homeschooling your children if it could make a positive impact on your family.

Featured photo credit: Hal Gatewood via unsplash.com

Reference

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