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10 Reasons Why Parents Should Treat Their Kids As Adults

10 Reasons Why Parents Should Treat Their Kids As Adults

Three years ago, my eldest daughter attended her friend’s birthday party. I was busy attending to my other children when the mother handed my daughter a piece of cake. I asked my daughter, “Did you say, ‘Thank you’?” My daughter said yes, she had. But the mother interjected with, “Meh, they’re kids. Kids don’t need to have manners.” I was quite taken aback. I’ve never been a supporter of the saying, “kids will be kids.” I have three young children and I believe that children are a lot more capable than we all realize. If we set low expectations for children, we get low results. But when we see them as little people who can be taught how to be kind and considerate, then their future prospects will be so very different.

Here are 10 reasons why parents should sometimes treat their kids as adults.

1. Your kids will have a better understanding of boundaries.

The phrase “kids will be kids” is often used as a justification for misbehavior. For example, a child pushes in front of the line to get to the playground slide and someone comments, “kids will be kids.” As much as young children’s brains are developing, they still have the ability to learn what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

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If we, as parents, believe that “John needs to realize that it is not okay to push in front of the line,” then chances are, our child will start to understand this too. It’s about setting boundaries and teaching them etiquette rules that will be useful for the rest of their life.

2. Your kids will better understand responsibility.

Children shouldn’t grow up stress-ridden, but they need to learn the basics of being responsible. For example, as adults, we might have children or pets to look after. We have housework to do. We have food to cook. If we let our children help with some of these activities, they will learn that responsibilities are a part of life. If you encourage your child to make their bed every day, to help wash up after dinner, to feed the pet goldfish, then you are teaching them that success happens when people work together.

3. Your kids might do more than what is expected of them.

For many of us, being told “Oh, you wouldn’t understand” would leave us feeling quite hurt, offended, or angry. For children, their reaction would probably be similar. But If you challenge your children and give them the opportunity to prove themselves, then you’re basically telling them, “I believe in you. I think you’re capable.” If you’re anxious about your child doing the dishes and never ask them to, then you’re depriving yourself and them of the chance to prove that they can. But if you give them that chance, they might even start doing extra housework you never asked them to do.

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4. Your kids will appreciate the value of being kind and considerate.

Teaching your children empathy is one of the most important skills you can pass on. In a world where competition and power can often override caring about others, it is essential to focus our parenting on kindness. Rather than looking at our kids and thinking, “They’re too young to understand how other people feel,” teach them to know how others are feeling. If your young child hears another child crying, make a comment, “Aww, that girl is crying. She must be feeling sad. I hope she is okay.” In addition to this, acknowledge and validate your own child’s feelings.

5. Your kids will find it easier to believe in themselves.

If you, the parent, believe in your child, then chances are they will believe in themselves too. As adults, we know that life is filled with ups and downs. We know that sometimes there are setbacks that leave us struggling to get back up. If you encourage your child and value who they are, they are very likely to feel the same about themselves. They will feel confident about who they are and use that confidence to get them through life.

6. Your kids will become stronger and more resilient.

We parents often depend on what we believe parenting should be. For some, being a parent is simply about protecting their child. For others, it’s about preparing their child for the future. Striking a balance between the two is probably more ideal. Rather than trying to protect your children from all pain and suffering, do your best to help them cope with any future pain and suffering. If they don’t win a prize in pass-the-parcel, don’t be in a hurry to tell the parents to find one for your child. Let them learn how to deal with pain. Let them prove to themselves that they are strong and can cope with disappointment. As an adult, this resilience will help them immensely in all areas of their life.

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7. Your kids will understand that you can’t always get what you want.

If you’re walking through the supermarket with your young child and they’re screaming for a chocolate bar, don’t feel pressured into buying it for them. As difficult as it is to resist the temptation to keep them quiet, you need to believe that your child is capable of calming down without it. Your child will learn to better self-regulate their emotions and start to realize that you can’t always get what you want in life.

8. Your kids will learn how valuable it can be to share experiences with others.

You might see fathers work on their cars with their kids. You might see mothers cooking with their children. You might see either mother or father sharing their hobbies and interests with their young children. Doing “things that adults do” with your child helps them realize that life isn’t about being on your own—it’s about experiencing the journey of life with other people. This is an important lesson to teach your child because surrounding themselves with a supportive network of people will help them get through the challenges of life. They will have people to count on, people they can trust, people who make their lives better.

9. Your kids will really feel that they matter.

When we sometimes look at our kids as adults, they are more likely to feel that they are just like everyone else. Their age doesn’t mean that they don’t matter. Their thoughts and opinions are not any less important or valid. Let your child voice their thoughts on controversial topics. Let them express the individual that they are without censoring them completely. By seeing your child for who they are, rather than what you want them to be, you’re reminding them that they matter.

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10. Your kids will grow up believing they really can make a difference.

Most parents want to raise children who grow up being happy and successful. They don’t want much for them, aside from knowing that they are living a life that makes them happy and that they are utilizing their talents. When your kids tell you what they want to be when they grow up, don’t dismiss them. Don’t laugh. Encourage them and their dreams—even if those dreams are likely to change many times in a year. When you treat your children like adults, their thirst for knowledge increases. They might just understand and believe you when you say that they really can make a difference. That they are not just one person in this world. They are actually one person who has the potential to change the world.

Featured photo credit: Grand Velas Riviera Maya via flickr.com

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Published on October 18, 2018

Reading for Kids: 17 Reasons Why It’s Important and Where to Start

Reading for Kids: 17 Reasons Why It’s Important and Where to Start

Reading is one of the most important activities that you can encourage your children to do. It’s entertaining, thought provoking, and absolutely critical to success later in life.

Being a proficient reader by the third grade is an integral factor in a child’s future success. Reading for kids is not just a fun pastime. It is the gateway to learning about other people, places, and ideas, with limitless possibilities.

Why Reading for Kids Is Important?

Develops Vocabulary and Language Skills

Before your kids are able to read on their own, it’s important to nurture a love for books early on. Reading aloud to them at a young age is a great way to promote verbal communication skills between parent and child.

As kids get older, we speak to them on a daily basis, but the vocabulary and topics that they are exposed to are limited and often repetitive. Reading books will improve your child’s vocabulary and expose them to different types of sentence structure, writing styles, and ways to express themselves.

Not only will your children’s reading comprehension improve over time, this will also have a positive effect on their writing and communication skills. For children who are bilingual or learning a second language, reading is an important component of attaining or maintaining fluency.

Encourages a Thirst for Knowledge

There are books written about any topic imaginable, many in a wide variety of reading levels.

When reading books, your kids will be introduced to a wide variety of topics, cultures, and ideas. They will realize how much knowledge is out there to be discovered and delve further into the subjects that interest them the most.

In many cases, they will be enjoying the content of the book so much that they won’t even realize they are gaining so much knowledge about a particular topic.

Increases Empathy

Children have a very narrow understanding of the world around them. This is due to the limited number of experiences that they have encountered, based on the circumstances in which they grew up.

Reading books about different types of people who have had a wide range of experiences allow kids to not only appreciate diversity but also to understand what it may be like being in someone else’s shoes.

Doing so will help them appreciate and empathize with people who have very little in common with them and help them develop into more well-rounded individuals.

The Best Form of Entertainment

In the current age, technology has become the go-to for entertainment for adults and kids. Although TV shows and kids apps like these can be a great resource for learning, books are a better choice every time.

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Rather than spending hours in front of a screen, encourage your kids to consider books as the default source of entertainment. Studies show that in families where reading was emphasized, the children are more likely to read independently and develop a passion for books in the long run.

Creates a Bond

There are multiple ways that reading creates a bond between parent and child. Starting from infancy, reading aloud promotes closeness and intimacy through spending time together and being physically close.

As your child gets older, you can continue to read aloud or read the same book separately and talk about the parts that you enjoyed the most.

Use reading as an opportunity engage and interact with your child, asking them about their thoughts on topics covered in the book or connecting the story to everyday life.

Exercises Their Brain

Reading requires more brain power than watching TV. When our kids read books, they utilize the part of their brain that deals with multi-sensory integrations, making connections between words and visual thinking.

For beginner readers, illustrations can be a useful tool to help them grasp the narrative and gain better comprehension. In the case of more advanced readers, they use their brain when gathering context clues to help them figure out words or phrases that are unfamiliar.

Reading also stimulates critical thinking, spurring kids to make connections between the book and real life and to form opinions about the story.

Improves Concentration

Reading a book requires focus and concentration, which are essential skills to work on, even for toddlers who have trouble sitting still.

Consistently reading books will help your kids practice quieting their minds and their bodies to focus on a task for a set period of time.

By taking away distractions and giving them space to read and understand, their attention spans and ability to concentration will greatly improve over time.

Sets Them up for Success in School and Life

There have been numerous studies that indicate reading books to children at an early age has a lasting effect on their success in school, which often directly correlates with success in the workplace.[1] But the benefits are not just limited to academic success.

Reading is a long-term learning experience that promotes growth, which will result in your children becoming more effective people overall – better spouses, bosses, and friends.

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Promotes Creativity and Imagination

When reading a story, our children create an image of how they perceive the story to look in their minds, using creativity and imagination. Every person sees a different image in their mind, and it may change each time the same book is read.

Reading also introduces new worlds, whether real or fictional, that we have never been a part of before. Immersing in the book allows your kids to imagine new experiences and scenarios that they never thought possible.

They will be able to bring these ideas into their play time and use their creativity to go beyond the limits brought on by their everyday lives.

Where To Start

Now that you are aware of the multitude of benefits that reading can provide for your kids, what’s the next step?

If your child has not yet developed a love for reading, it’s not too late to start.

1. Make Reading a Choice, Not a Chore

Don’t make reading a mandatory task or assigned chore. Encourage and remind your kids to read, but let them make the ultimate decision on when to read and for how long. Feeling like they are being compelled to read will inevitably take the joy out of the experience.

If you have a reluctant reader, try to figure out what the root cause of the reluctance is. If your kids are struggling with words, find a few books below their reading level to instill confidence in recognizing the words they DO know. Gradually transition to harder books until they are more eager to read voluntarily.

Another alternative is to try audiobooks. Hearing another person reading confidently is a great way to experience fluency, and they will be able to enjoy the book without having to stumble through it.

If the content is the issue, and they find reading to be boring, introduce them to different types of reading material (see below).

2. Suggest a Variety of Reading Material

Reading can come in so many forms and every type has something unique to offer the reader. If your kids are having trouble finding joy in reading, it may be because they haven’t found a genre that fits their interests.

Traditional books come in many genres, including mystery, history, biographies, fantasy, science fiction, and more. Some books are written in unique and fun styles, such as choose your own adventure books, diary novel, or epistolary novel.

If you are looking for reading material that is more visually stimulating, try a graphic novel, a magazine, or a travel book. Books are also great resources for learning a new skill. Joke books, magic books, and cook books are great examples of these.

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Don’t forget to show your kids the practical side of reading as well. Enlist their help in reading out the grocery list at the store or ask them to read recipe instructions when cooking in the kitchen together. All types of reading counts:

    3. Experience Books Firsthand

    As your kids read more books, they may start to imagine what it would be like if they were characters in the books. A great way to support their love for reading would be to help them depict their favorite parts of their book.

    Look up a recipe for butter beer (Harry Potter) or Turkish Delight (The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe) and make it together. Start planting a garden together after reading The Secret Garden.

    Another fun way to celebrate finishing a book is watching the movie interpretation of it. Seeing beloved characters come to life on screen is an easy way to enhance the enjoyment of reading.

    4. Be an Example

    You are the main person that your kids look up to. Kids love copying their parents and doing the things they observe their parents doing on a daily basis.

    Don’t just tell your kids to read often; show them by doing it yourself.[2] Actions speak louder than words.

    When you model your own love of reading and books and show them the joy it brings to your life, they will be inclined to feel the same way.

    5. Set Aside Time

    For a child with a busy schedule and so many other fun screen-filled activities to choose from, it can be difficult to purposely reserve time for reading.

    Make this decision a little easier by creating dedicated time that is just for reading. This can be just before bed, right after homework, or whatever time works best for your family’s busy schedule. This time can be used for read aloud time with your child or independent reading.

    6. Bring Books to Life

    Finding real life connections to the books that your kids are reading will extend the joy of the reading experience.

    Did your children just finish a book about life on the farm? Take them to visit a local farm and experience what they read about firsthand. Reading a book about planets and space can turn into a trip to the planetarium.

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    For a more memorable excursion, take a family trip out of the country, like visiting London after finishing the Harry Potter series.

    7. Make Books Accessible

    One of my favorite activities to do as a child was to go to the library. The vast number of books that were at my disposal made me so excited to read.

    Find a great library in your area to take your children and let them experience the magic of limitless possibility. Sign your kids up for their own library card and encourage them to take ownership of their reading adventure.

    Start a small collection of books at home so that your kids will always have books at their fingertips. Visit a bookstore, browse online, or sign up for a monthly book subscription. Getting access to new books on a regular basis will keep reading exciting and fun.

    8. Start a Book Club

    Having other people help you stay accountable is a great motivation to read more and to discover new books you may not have otherwise.

    Encourage your kids to start a book club, either with their peers or with you. Choose a book everyone would enjoy and set a deadline for getting together and discussing what each person thought of the book. The tangible due date is a great incentive to stay on track and read on a regular basis.

    The Bottom Line

    Fostering a love for reading in your kids is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

    Reading books can transport them anywhere they could imagine, and the benefits that it provides for them in the short and long term are innumerable.

    Use these tips to actively encourage reading to be an enjoyable part of their lives, and it will be worth the effort.

    Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

    Reference

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