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10 Steps To Overcoming Obsession In A Relationship

10 Steps To Overcoming Obsession In A Relationship

Do you think you are obsessive about your relationship? Some people struggle to tell the difference between a healthy relationship and an obsessive one. Without realizing they obsess over their partner, they find themselves wanting to constantly be with them, always wanting to know where they are, and trying to control their behaviour.

This behaviour is damaging to both partners and it often ruins relationships. If you want to overcome your relationship obsession and find genuine love, follow these 10 steps.

1. Be aware of your obsession

If you are reading this article, there is a good chance that you think you may be obsessive. Admit to yourself that you are becoming obsessive – once you know there is a problem, you can start to fix it.

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2. Realize the difference between genuine love and artificial love

No partner can fix your flaws or remove the challenges from your life; only you can do that. Artificial love is loving the version of someone you have created in your mind. This is rarely rewarding as the person you love doesn’t actually exist. Real love is loving someone for who they truly are – flaws and all.

3. Be aware that obsession can change the way you see things

While you are obsessed with someone, you don’t see them for who they are. This applies to the relationship, too; maybe you think the relationship will last forever, but your partner may not feel the same way. In a healthy relationship, both partners are on the same page emotionally.

4. Look at the relationship from the other person’s perspective

What matters to your partner? They may have priorities and passions in their life that you don’t understand. Realize that your existence alone will not be anyone’s only priority, and to expect that is unrealistic. Instead, learn more about your partner’s passions and try to support them.

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5. Think about the dangers of obsession

Obsession can seem romantic and loving, but be aware of the dangers of obsession. Often people with a relationship obsession struggle to grow as they are too focused on someone else, and they often become unhappy because they are so dependent on someone else. Realize that happiness and independence are interlinked.

6. Try a relaxed approach

Do you think you and your partner are well suited for each other? If so, realize that they are worth the wait. They may not be as emotionally involved as you are right now, but with time the relationship may grow – not everyone falls in love at the same pace.

7. Choose to love yourself

Often people who are obsessive in relationships struggle to love themselves, so they look for someone to love them because this is the only way they feel worthy. Start to love yourself by recognizing your talents and looking after your emotional needs.

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8. Tell the people you love that you are going through emotional changes

It can be very difficult to acknowledge that you have an obsession. You can feel confused and unsure of who you really are, which can make you emotional or slightly clingy. Warn the people in your life that you are going through emotional changes so they can understand your situation and provide you with support.

9. Spend time with your friends and family

Instead of focusing on one person that you love, think about all of the people who love you. Your partner is not everything in your life, and spending time with your friends and family will help you to realize that you have other priorities beside your partner, helping you to regain your independence.

10. Pursue activities that you love

Do you have any passions or hobbies? Try to do something that interests you every day, from reading a chapter in a book to attending a yoga class. This will give you some time every day to enjoy your own wonderful company. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Randy Heinitz / Sage Advice via flickr.com

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Amy Johnson

Freelance writer, editor and social media manager.

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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