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11 Moving Tips For Couples Wanting To Start Life Together

11 Moving Tips For Couples Wanting To Start Life Together

Are you considering moving with your significant other?

Moving in with your partner is a big decision that should be planned and considered with great thought. Being in a relationship can change a lot of things in your life. You’ll have to make decisions not just for yourself, but also for the sake of your partner.

Soon you’ll realize that it’s not all cuddles and kisses. There will come times when you have to argue about bills, dirty dishes, laundry, or who has to take Fifi out for a walk. Moving signals your both ready to take your relationship further. It means that you’re ready to see the not so attractive things about your partner.

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Are you ready for that? Before you utter that confident YES, here are 11 moving tips you both should read.

1. Plan Together

Cohabiting with your loved one puts a lot of things in to a new perspective. This is why your opinion and his is important when it comes to planning your move. You’ll both be responsible for each other soon; planning ahead will assure you’re both ready for this big change.

2. Pick the Ideal Place

Will It be your place, his, or are you both planning to start fresh?  This is one of the hardest decisions couples have to face when it comes to moving. For things to work out, you should both agree with the new place. If not, one of you should be willing to compromise for the sake of the other.  You also have to consider a lot of factors like work, studies and convenience. There are also many variables that might affect your decision when you’re considering where to live. (Ex. lifestyle, culture and preferences)

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3. Visit the Place Prior Moving

Don’t let looks deceive you. Whether you plan on renting or buying a place, be sure to inspect it first prior moving. See the place with your own eyes so you get a feel of the place, who knows you may see hidden damages that are not present in the pictures. Furthermore, visiting prior the move will let you contemplate better which stuff may fit or not in your apartment.

4. Decide Things You Want For Your New Home

Make an inventory of both your apartments so you can address duplicates, items you lack and items you may want to sell, donate or keep. Items that have memories and value in them should also be packed safely.  Listing your stuff will avoid overcrowding, and making poor decisions when it comes to your valuables.

5. Talk about the Chores

You both probably have expectations when it comes to the chores at home. Most couples can get into heated arguments over these issues, and it’s best to lay down the rules so that fights never happen. Since both of you share space, it’s important to share responsibilities. Talk about how you’d like to divide the chores. Who will cook, who will wash the dishes, who will do the laundry?  On the same note, you should also understand that sometimes your partner or you might not be able to do his job so you have to compromise.

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6. Talk about the Expenses

Money may not buy happiness but it certainly will be part of your life. The truth is you cannot feed each other with love alone. Who gets to pay the rent, the water, the electric bill?  Expenses should be discussed prior moving. Sometimes expenses will cost more than you think, and you both have to be prepared for it.

If you’re both working then you can split expenses so that each one has responsibilities.  But be careful, A 50/50 split can be quite complicated, especially if you both have varying incomes. A fair share might not sound well for someone who makes less money in the relationship. You can opt to have a shared bank account, or pay in ratio according to both salaries. However, if one has to be the breadwinner then the other should take the responsibilities around the house (like cleaning and cooking).

7. Build your own Individual Spaces

Even when you’re in a relationship, sometimes you may need your own individual space. You need to have your own space where you can practice being yourself, to do your hobbies, or just to be with your own thoughts. It can be as simple as your own desk, your own painting corner, where his stuff doesn’t mix with yours.

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8. Find Opportunities to Save

Moving is an expensive ordeal. It requires not just your time, energy but also money! Save by only bringing things you will be using in your apartment.  Most movers will add fees for additional cargo weights. So make sure that you are weeding out stuffs that you don’t need in your apartment.

9. Organize Packaging

Packing stuff can be quite stressful. You don’t want to regret decisions you’ll make by leaving out some stuff you actually need. For efficient and more organized packaging, label boxes on top and either side. This will make unpacking fast and more systemized. Box items that should be placed in the same room. Use the right boxes, for heavy items like books, use small boxes. For light items like linens and pillows, it’s preferable to use bigger boxes.

10. Save Time and Effort by Hiring Movers

Moving can be difficult without help. However, you can save time and energy by hiring professional moving services to do this task for you. There are a lot of licensed moving services that can do the moving job more efficiently. You can be rest assured that your valuables will be handled safely on the day of your move.

11. Resolve Conflicts Immediately

Don’t make quarrels last for long. Resolve conflicts immediately and be more willing to compromise for one another. Stop yourselves the moment you know you’re heading into the blame game. Problems are solved better when they are addressed in a calm manner; shouting to each other’s faces doesn’t solve anything. You’ll both start a new chapter in your life, and moving together is a big step. Even if you’re married or not, you two both share great love that makes you want to stay together under one roof. Goodluck!

Featured photo credit: hands-love-couple by Takemeomeo via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on November 9, 2020

10 Real Reasons Why Breaking Bad Habits Is So Difficult

10 Real Reasons Why Breaking Bad Habits Is So Difficult

Bad habits expose us to suffering that is entirely avoidable. Unfortunately, breaking bad habits is difficult because they are 100% dependent on our mental and emotional state.

Anything we do that can prove harmful to us is a bad habit – drinking, drugs, smoking, procrastination, poor communication are all examples of bad habits. These habits have negative effects on our physical, mental, and emotional health.

Humans are hardwired to respond to stimuli and to expect a consequence of any action. This is how habits are acquired: the brain expects to be rewarded a certain way under certain circumstances. How you initially responded to certain stimuli is how your brain will always remind you to behave when the same stimuli are experienced.

If you visited the bar close to your office with colleagues every Friday, your brain will learn to send you a signal to stop there even when you are alone and eventually not just on Fridays. It will expect the reward of a drink after work every day, which can potentially lead to a drinking problem.

Kicking negative behavior patterns and steering clear of them requires a lot of willpower, and there are many reasons why breaking bad habits is so difficult.

1. Lack of Awareness or Acceptance

Breaking a bad habit is not possible if the person who has it is not aware that it is a bad one.

Many people will not realize that their communication skills are poor or that their procrastination is affecting them negatively, or even that the drink they had as a nightcap has now increased to three.

Awareness brings acceptance. Unless a person realizes on their own that a habit is bad, or someone manages to convince them of the same, there is very little chance of the habit being kicked.

2. No Motivation

Going through a divorce, not being able to cope with academic pressure, and falling into debt are instances that can bring a profound sense of failure with them. A person going through these times can fall into a cycle of negative thinking where the world is against them and nothing they can do will ever help, so they stop trying altogether.

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This give-up attitude is a bad habit that just keeps coming around. Being in debt could make you feel like you are failing at maintaining your home, family, and life in general.

If you are looking to get out of a rut and feel motivated, take a look at this article: Why Is Internal Motivation So Powerful (And How to Find It)

3. Underlying Psychological Conditions

Psychological conditions such as depression and ADD can make it difficult to start breaking bad habits.

A depressed person may find it difficult to summon the energy to cook a healthy meal, resulting in food being ordered in or consumption of packaged foods. This could lead to a habit that adversely affects health and is difficult to overcome.

A person with ADD may start to clean their house but get distracted soon after, leaving the task incomplete, eventually leading to a state where it is acceptable to live in a house that is untidy and dirty.

The fear of missing out (FOMO) is very real to some people. Obsessively checking their social media and news sources, they may believe that not knowing of something as soon as it is published can be catastrophic to their social standing.

4. Bad Habits Make Us Feel Good

One of the reasons it is difficult to break habits is that a lot of them make us feel good.[1]

We’ve all been there – the craving for a tub of ice cream after a breakup or a casual drag on a joint, never to be repeated until we miss how good it made us feel. We succumb to the craving for the pleasure felt while indulging in it, cementing it as a habit even while we are aware it isn’t good for us.

Overeating is a very common bad habit. Just another pack of chips, a couple of candies, a large soda… none of these are necessary for survival. We want them because they give us comfort. They’re familiar, they taste good, and we don’t even notice when we progress from just one extra slice of pizza to four.

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You can read this article to learn more: We Do What We Know Is Bad for Us, Why?

5. Upward Comparisons

Comparisons are a bad habit that many of us have been exposed to since we were children. Parents might have compared us to siblings, teachers may have compared us to classmates, and bosses could compare us to past and present employees.

The people who have developed the bad habit of comparing themselves to others have been given incorrect yardsticks for measurement from the start.

These people will always find it difficult to break out of this bad habit because there will always be someone who has it better than they do: a better house, better car, better job, higher income and so on.

Research shows that in the age of social media, social comparisons are much easier and can ultimately harm self-esteem if scrolling becomes a bad habit[2].

6. No Alternative

This is a real and valid reason why breaking bad habits is difficult. These habits could fulfill a need that may not be met any other way.

Someone who has physical or psychological limitations, such as a disability or social anxiety, may find it hard to quit obsessive content consumption for better habits.

Alternately, a perfectly healthy person may be unable to quit smoking because alternates are just not working out.

Similarly, a person who bites their nails when anxious may be unable to relieve stress in any other socially accepted manner.

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7. Stress

As mentioned above, anything that stresses us out can lead to adopting and cementing an unhealthy habit.

When a person is stressed about something, it is easy for bad habits to form because the mental resources required to fight them are not available[3].

We often see a person who had previously managed to kick a bad habit fall back into the old ways because they felt their stress couldn’t be managed any other way.

If you need some help reducing stress, check out the following video for some healthy ways to get started:

8. Sense of Failure

People looking to kick bad habits may feel a strong sense of failure because it’s just that difficult.

Dropping a bad habit usually means changes in lifestyle that people may be unwilling to make, or these changes might not be easy to make in spite of the will to make them.

Overeaters need to empty their house of unhealthy food, resist the urge to order in, and not pick up their standard grocery items from the store. Those who drink too much need to avoid the bars or even people who drink often.

If such people slip even once with a glass of wine, or a smoke, or a bag of chips, they tend to be excessively harsh on themselves and feel like failures.

9. The Need to Be All-New

People who are looking to break bad habits feel they need to re-create themselves in order to break themselves of their bad habits, while the truth is the complete opposite.

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These people actually need to go back to who they were before they developed the bad habit and try to create good habits from there.

10. Force of Habit

Humans are creatures of habit, and having familiar, comforting outcomes for daily triggers helps us maintain a sense of balance in our lives.

Consider people who are used to lighting up a cigarette every time they talk on the phone or eating junk food when watching TV. They will always associate a phone call with a puff on the cigarette and screen time with eating.

These habits, though bad, are a source of comfort to them, as is meeting with those people they indulge in these bad habits with.

Final Thoughts

These are the main reasons why breaking bad habits is difficult, but the good news is that the task is not impossible. Breaking habits takes time, and you’ll need to put long-term goals in place to replace a bad habit with a good one.

There are many compassionate, positive and self-loving techniques to kick bad habits. The internet is rich in information regarding bad habits, their effects and how to overcome them, while professional help is always available for those who feel they need it.

More on Breaking Bad Habits

Featured photo credit: NORTHFOLK via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] After Skool: Why Do Bad Habits Feel SO GOOD?
[2] Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem.
[3] Stanford Medicine: Examining how stress affects good and bad habits

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