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7 Amazing Things Happen When You Call Your Grandparents Once A Week

7 Amazing Things Happen When You Call Your Grandparents Once A Week

Christmas. Birthdays. Announcements. These are all the times that most people speak to their grandparents.

Even if you have a grandparent on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, they probably do not feature heavily in your social life, despite being at the center of it. This needs to change, and it needs to change now.

Your grandparents are an incredible resource. They are a gift that most people leave unopened because they think that they cannot relate to them. The reality is that this is not true. In fact, your grandparents are probably some of the realest, most relatable people that you know.

Calling your grandparents once a week can change both of your lives. Here are just seven amazing things that will happen when you pick up the phone.

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You’ll Improve Your Relationships

Most people go to friends, the internet, or acquaintances when looking for relationship advice. It makes sense. You can find people who are going through the same things that you are. There is solidarity in that. It makes dating and mating a lot less scary.

However, why go to someone else who is struggling when you can go to someone who is already out the other side? Your grandparents know how it feels to lose a friend, break up with a partner, and be abused by a mean boss. They also know how to deal with it. When you ask your grandma how to improve your relationships, you might be surprised how spot on she is.

You’ll Make Someone Else Happy

Your grandparents want to hear from you. When you call, it makes them happy to know that you thought of them.

Calling your grandparents for the fun of it is a practical exercise in doing something to make someone else happy that has little to no tangible benefits for you (besides making you happy, too). This is a skill that is underdeveloped, underutilized, and could help you make the world a better place.

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You’ll Learn More About Your Family

Chances are, you do not know that much about your family. Sure, your great-great-someone arrived here from Germany at some point in history. However, this is not what it means to know your family.

Whether you like it or not, part of your personality was shaped by your family. If only by proximity, they were the closest people to you growing up. There is no one better to tell you more about your family than your grandparents. They saw it all, even if they pretend they didn’t.

You’ll Learn More About Yourself

Learning more about your family is a great way to learn more about yourself. Understanding why you are the way you are is the first step on the road to self-improvement, which your grandparents will tell you never ends.

Getting to know yourself is not an individual journey, you can use the wisdom and guidance of those who have done it before to guide you.

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You’ll Learn What It Really Means to Struggle

When you’re in the depths of a serious struggle, it feels like you are alone. It can also feel like it is the hardest thing in the world. Both of those feelings compound how bad you already feel and can make some difficulties even harder.

Your grandparents know what it really means to struggle. Not because they did not have a Sprint signal booster to make calls or because they fought unspeakable wars, they know what it means to struggle because throughout their lives, they have struggled a lot. What is more important, is that they made it through to the other side and have the benefit of perspective.

Perspective is often not what you want when you are fighting an uphill battle, but sometimes it is exactly what you need.

You’ll Learn Valuable Lessons About Life and Love

Your grandparents have years on you. That means that they have been through more break-ups, make-ups and (yes) hook-ups, than you have. They have a treasure trove of wisdom that is just waiting for you to seek out.

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You’ll Learn What It Means to Be Selfless

Whether you realize it or not, your grandparents sacrificed a lot so that you can be here. That does not mean that you owe them your time, your money, or your love; however, next time your family gets together, look around at what they created and how beautiful it is. Remember, beauty comes from sacrifices – and that sacrifice was worth it.

Conclusion

The best thing about grandparents is that they are not your parents. They aren’t there to give you unsolicited advice or poke their noses into places you’d rather they didn’t. Instead, they have a life’s worth of wisdom to offer you no matter what you’re going through. All you need to do is pick up the phone.

Featured photo credit: surlygirl via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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