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7 Amazing Things Happen When You Call Your Grandparents Once A Week

7 Amazing Things Happen When You Call Your Grandparents Once A Week

Christmas. Birthdays. Announcements. These are all the times that most people speak to their grandparents.

Even if you have a grandparent on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, they probably do not feature heavily in your social life, despite being at the center of it. This needs to change, and it needs to change now.

Your grandparents are an incredible resource. They are a gift that most people leave unopened because they think that they cannot relate to them. The reality is that this is not true. In fact, your grandparents are probably some of the realest, most relatable people that you know.

Calling your grandparents once a week can change both of your lives. Here are just seven amazing things that will happen when you pick up the phone.

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You’ll Improve Your Relationships

Most people go to friends, the internet, or acquaintances when looking for relationship advice. It makes sense. You can find people who are going through the same things that you are. There is solidarity in that. It makes dating and mating a lot less scary.

However, why go to someone else who is struggling when you can go to someone who is already out the other side? Your grandparents know how it feels to lose a friend, break up with a partner, and be abused by a mean boss. They also know how to deal with it. When you ask your grandma how to improve your relationships, you might be surprised how spot on she is.

You’ll Make Someone Else Happy

Your grandparents want to hear from you. When you call, it makes them happy to know that you thought of them.

Calling your grandparents for the fun of it is a practical exercise in doing something to make someone else happy that has little to no tangible benefits for you (besides making you happy, too). This is a skill that is underdeveloped, underutilized, and could help you make the world a better place.

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You’ll Learn More About Your Family

Chances are, you do not know that much about your family. Sure, your great-great-someone arrived here from Germany at some point in history. However, this is not what it means to know your family.

Whether you like it or not, part of your personality was shaped by your family. If only by proximity, they were the closest people to you growing up. There is no one better to tell you more about your family than your grandparents. They saw it all, even if they pretend they didn’t.

You’ll Learn More About Yourself

Learning more about your family is a great way to learn more about yourself. Understanding why you are the way you are is the first step on the road to self-improvement, which your grandparents will tell you never ends.

Getting to know yourself is not an individual journey, you can use the wisdom and guidance of those who have done it before to guide you.

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You’ll Learn What It Really Means to Struggle

When you’re in the depths of a serious struggle, it feels like you are alone. It can also feel like it is the hardest thing in the world. Both of those feelings compound how bad you already feel and can make some difficulties even harder.

Your grandparents know what it really means to struggle. Not because they did not have a Sprint signal booster to make calls or because they fought unspeakable wars, they know what it means to struggle because throughout their lives, they have struggled a lot. What is more important, is that they made it through to the other side and have the benefit of perspective.

Perspective is often not what you want when you are fighting an uphill battle, but sometimes it is exactly what you need.

You’ll Learn Valuable Lessons About Life and Love

Your grandparents have years on you. That means that they have been through more break-ups, make-ups and (yes) hook-ups, than you have. They have a treasure trove of wisdom that is just waiting for you to seek out.

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You’ll Learn What It Means to Be Selfless

Whether you realize it or not, your grandparents sacrificed a lot so that you can be here. That does not mean that you owe them your time, your money, or your love; however, next time your family gets together, look around at what they created and how beautiful it is. Remember, beauty comes from sacrifices – and that sacrifice was worth it.

Conclusion

The best thing about grandparents is that they are not your parents. They aren’t there to give you unsolicited advice or poke their noses into places you’d rather they didn’t. Instead, they have a life’s worth of wisdom to offer you no matter what you’re going through. All you need to do is pick up the phone.

Featured photo credit: surlygirl via flickr.com

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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